It's over!!!

Sisters,

For all you practicing mistresses, the day you dreaded (i.e. Christmas Day) is finally over! I do hope that for many of you, this will be the LAST Christmas you spend with a man who is having a happy family Christmas somewhere without you.

I heard from so so many of you this past week, and especially yesterday, all saying the same thing. All 'trying not to think about the kind of day your MM was having with his family:' 'Trying not to think about him having xmas sex with his wife:' 'Waiting for HIM to call YOU' and reporting to me that many of your MMs were 'calling you to remind you of just 'what an awful xmas he was (NOT) having!' (Yawn and LOL if you fell for that old chestnut!!)

These are all manipulation and control tactics on the MM's part. I do hope you can see this!! Sadly, most of you told me you couldn't wait for the day to be over, and were crying and 'in pieces.' Nice! Some 'happiest day of the year' that was for you then eh? MM hijacked that for you and YOU LET HIM.

I do hope that you will all begin to wake up now. Realize that all you are doing as a mistress is keeping someone else's marriage going, just like putting top grade oil in car to keep it running!

Will you be also dreading New Year's Eve for the same reasons? Or will you finally begin to unleash the power of YOU? You all have the power within you to change anything about your life, so, stop making excuses for someone else and start doing something for yourself.

Here is a link to the Mistresses Anonymous (on-line) support and recovery group - meetings are usually held daily at around 5.30pm EST http://livestream.com/uk2la/old

Stay strong

Sarah J. x

Surviving Christmas as a Mistress!

Well Sisters,

The most unhappy time of the year for some of you is soon to be here. Christmas. That time when those in love with an MM will feel a number of emotions, especially on Christmas Day. These will range from bitterness, resentment and jealousy, but - most of all - a complete sense of emptiness, lonliness, and sadness. Am I right?

Only you will know if you want to live like this for another year. I do hope you won't. I so do NOT miss that feeling sisters I can tell you, and I would sure rather be alone and lonely, than lonely and waiting for the phone to ring while obsessing about what MM is doing at the happy family home. Ugh, I feel an acute attack of nausea just remembering that feeling!

I hope that you will use this time of year as a benchmark and make a note of all the things your MM hasn't done (that he promised you he would). The list will be pretty long I'm sure, and I hope you'll be checking it twice!

I'd love to hear your comments ladies. And would also love to hear from any mistresses who are happy in their affair and therefore won't be at a loss on Christmas Day, I doubt there are many as I never hear from a 'happy mistress!' My ears are open though. Also, if you are the 'other man' (aka a 'misteress') having an affair with a married woman, feel free to leave your comments here on my blog too.....

Lastly, I will be holding a special Christmas Day Mistresses Anonymous Group meeting, time to be advised next week.

Below is the latest link to the Mistresses Anonymous online support group. See you there!

http://livestream.com/uk2la/old.

Peace to all mistresses, and stay strong (And, get out there and bag yourself a hot SINGLE man, even if he is just for Christmas!)

Sarah J.x

Letter from a TYPICALLY selfish MM!

Sisters,

I wanted to post this letter from an MM so you could hear his views, hear it from the horses mouth. He is -and will remain - anonymous!

My question to you MM, is, based on all you have said, when are YOU leaving to be with your mistress of TWO years then eh? As for throwing the kids under the bus that is never what I/we say or want. Trust a man to put it that way. But my dear, you are already throwing them under the bus (to use your words not mine) by having a relationship with a woman who is not their mother. If you had any balls you would put your house in order first and do the right thing. Many second marriages and extended families are very very successful. But no, you want it all. You want your family existence and to keep your poor wife in the dark while running a home and bringing up your kids, and to survive you want 'your bit on the side' too. I bet your 'troubled mistress' is really looking forward to Christmas eh? NOT. I hope she will come to my MA group. I'd love to chat to her!! I hope you wife follows your lead and gets a nice single man on the side too!

"I'm the MM and in a relationship for 2 years with a now single woman. WHen I met her, she was also married, but wasn't happy and subsequently got divorced about a year into our relationship. I was always clear with her before her divorce that I couldn't leave my kids and get divorced, but she got divorced anyway, stating it had nothing to do with me. Now, 2 years later, she is troubled because I am still living with the wife and kids and she is divorced and not living with me. We both are very much in love, and at this point, I want to leave my situation for her, however, a divorce is not in the cards financially at this time. Its a very difficult situation for both of us I think. I am sure other MM struggle with this issue because they don't want to screw up their kids lives also. The women in this blog seem to find blame with the MM for not throwing his kids under the bus and moving in with the mistress. But what kind of man can just forget about his kids and do that without a thought???? Would the mistress really want a guy that could easily dump his family for his mistress? I think not.

I have read in this blog that the stats for the MM and the mistress ending up together is extremely low. I don't think that is true. 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway. I can see being very happy with the woman i am involved in, as soon as I can figure out a divorce settlement. Afterall, the MM is with the mistress for a reason!

Some people in this blog have pointed out the MM will not marry the mistress because of the 80/20 rule. I think that is silly. From my perspective, a MM is looking outside his marriage for a companion that actually gives a damn and doesn't take him for granted. That goes for in the bed and out! If the MM finds good companionship in and out of the bedroom, the wife is done! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but within the near future.

So for all those thinking the mistress has no chance, I dare say, they are dead wrong. The mistress plays the most important part in the MM life, and the MM will do everything in his power to eventually end up with the mistress. THis may not be true for all men, but it makes sense for most normal, intelligent men."

**Final note to MM from me - How dare you be so patronizing to us, and to your current mistress!!

Urgent note to Mistress X in distress!

To the mistress who left me this blog comment earlier, yes, I will help you. You can talk with me and other mistresses daily at one of my Mistresses Anonymous support group sessions. Here is the link. We will start at about 5pm EST tonight, although you may find other women in there throughout the day, as we tend to all be on different time zones. Stay strong sister - I can help you.

"It's great to know I can vent thru this blog. I need someone I can email on a daily basis who would be willing to help me and guide me through this difficult journey. I'm trying to break away from my MM. We've been together for 10 years.I struggle everyday. I'm on my 11th day of no communication and starting to lose the strength to carry on. I have tried this many times before and failed.

Please will someone with a similar experience talk to me on a regular basis? I'm losing my mind but would like to do the right thing. I've been hurt so many times and want out!"

See you at MA later! Sarah J.

Mistresses Anonymous Meeting tonight!!

Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood,

First of all, I will be holding an emergency MA support group session tonight at 5.30pm EST for any of you who can get in there. After hearing so many sad stories from so many of you at this time of year, I can see it is necessary.

Secondly, many of you have complained to me about the new look MA chat room layout, and with good reason. I totally agree with you. The chat room screen is now too small and, also, we can't see the list of who is in the room at any given time - which is not cool at all. So, for now, until I refine things even more, please use this link which will take you back to how things used to be in there. http://livestream.com/uk2la/old Oh how we like familiarity eh :-)

Also, I must apologize for my absence at MA for a while, but I have been crazy busy and now literally just got back from Dublin where I was filming a talk show. I plan to be there for you all as much as I can now, as this is the worst time of year for 'practicing Mistresses' and complacent ex-Mistresses - i.e. Christmas!

There is a chapter in my book, "Surviving Christmas as a Mistress, and other holidays," but it is hard none the less, so I will be here for you, with an emphasis starting from now and - up to and including - Christmas day :-)

I also want to welcome all the new Sisters of the Mistress hood that have written to me since seeing me on the Dr. Phil show on Monday. I hope you will join us too.

Hope to see you later

Peace

Sarah J x

Tiger Woods.....

Check this out! As soon as I heard this story I just knew!! Ironically, I have said in many interviews, that "I know adultery like Tiger Woods knows golf!" Damn, he must have heard me and stepped up his game LOL.

Police to question Tiger Woods over car crash 'following 2am row with wife over affair claims'

Peace

Sarah J x

Dr Phil Show Today!

Try to catch me on the Dr Phil Show today, 4pm PST, CBS. The topic is, "Inside Infidelity."

For any of you who would like to buy my book just go to my website and you can download it instantly as an e-book, privately and on demand, so you don't have to wait when you need help instantly!!

Also, come to my Mistresses Anonymous chatroom too. The link is on my home page at www.havinganaffairthebook.com

Peace

Sarah J. x

Calling ALL mistresses

Sisters. Again I reach out to all of you who wrote/write to me - especially those who wrote after seeing me on The Dr Phil show. There is another prime time TV Talk show that needs us. Anyone who would be interested in telling their story please contact me. I can tell you more then. Your chance to have your say. Email me at sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com. I am especially interested in those who live in LA, as it makes logistics easier, but still write and if you are willing to go on - and you have the typically sad toxic story we all do/did - I am sure we can make it work. Also, maybe you are a 'happy mistress' or even one of the many desperate wives who write to me that are having affairs. Can't wait to hear from you...

Sarah J x

Mistresses Anonymous recovery sessions

Sisters,

For all of you who have written to me since seeing me on the Dr Phil show last week, especially after learning of my Mistresses Anonymous support/recovery group online chat room, please know that I do try to get back to you all personally but it is nearly impossible at times as I am being deluged with letters, emails, blog comments and Face Book messages from so so many of you who are all living life as the Other Woman!

What the Dr Phil show did was, rather than suppressing this topic, and making us out to look like the culprits, it just opened a pandora's box to highlight the fact that so many of the American female population (and Dr Phil's viewers) ARE in fact the Other Woman (or have been, or even, would like to be!) I am blown away by it all. Especially when I learn that so many of you are married women - i.e wives having affairs with other married men. Phew....this is a never ending topic.

One woman wrote to me from Michigan this week to say that she felt that "if only she could have a one-to-one, half an hour session with me, she felt I would be able to cure her of her addiction to her unhealthy affair, and that I could change her life!" Big stuff!

To give you all the help and support you need to get OUT OF THESE toxic relationships I am going to have to start one-to-one renewal coaching sessions. I will try to work with you all on your budgets and will be able to help you more than any therapist can, as I have been there. I have been where you are!! You all write to me in the same states of turmoil. I know how you feel, and some of the best teachers are those in recovery themselves!!!

Contact me personally for more information. I need to be able to dedicate the time to each of you that you so desperately need in order to heal and get out of these dead end relationships with married men who are just using you! Wake up. Get OUT. I can help you.

Keep the faith

Sarah J x

Thank you sisters...

......for having the honesty and trust in me to share your heartfelt stories with me. I read them all!

Stay strong.

Peace

Sarah J. x

Wow! Straight from the horses mouth!!!

Ladies, this comment was left for me yesterday, after the Dr. Phil show aired, from a very honest cheating married man. It was left anonymously but I had to post it to show you that what I tell youis true! You ARE just being used.

I just HAD to post it! Await your comments to it ladies.....wives and mistresses welcome :-)

I'm that guy....the married one. I'm the one who is in the affair with a beautiful woman who has been trying to get out of this relationship. She's in love and we have been seeing each other for four years. I have done this several times with other women and have no intention of leaving my wife.

My wife knows of two affairs that I have admitted to. I can tell 'the other woman' that you are being used for everything I am not getting at home. You are my fantasy, my sexual fantasy, my ego booster when we go out. Name ten things we have in common besides great sex. Yes, you may be smart, have a great job, but there's something about you that just doesn't meet up to the standards of being my wife. You will find, most men do not upgrade 'great sex' to 'wife'.

How long can two dishonest people maintain a healthy relationship. You both bring no morals to the table from the start. 'The other woman' wants more time and we give you just enough to keep you there. We say the things you want to hear and do what we can to keep you close. You get to needy and we stop calling for a while. Then you miss us and want to see us...we get together and have great sex....and the cycle begins all over again.

The Dr Phil Show today: And the Mistresses Anonymous Support Group

To any and all women writing to me for advice, welcome. You may have seen me on the Dr. Phil show today.

Whether you be a woman in love with a married man; A woman dealing with the pain of being in a toxic relationship; A woman who is in love with an emotionally unavailable man; Or a wife/girlfriend who just wants to know the signs to look for if their partner is cheating, and how to stop it, then please either leave your comments on my blog, or come to my Mistresses Anonymous support group. The link to my group is available on the homepage of this website, or attached here.

See Sarah at her "Mistresses Anonymous" Chatoom at http://www.mogulus.com/uk2la

For any wives who want to know how to affair proof their marriages, it is very simple. And, rather than wanting to hate the other woman, learn to be the best wife you can be in order to alleviate your husband wanting to have his emotional and physical needs met elsewhere. The steps to affair-proofing your marriage are very simple. Contact me for more information.

Peace

Sarah J.

A Married Man Joke...

Sent by a dear Welsh friend of mine. Guess we have all run into 'Jack' at some point in our lives, either at home, or away, LOL!

"Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT....Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time...PRICELESS!!!

Funny......

This is funny. A friend in London sent it to me today. Enjoy...I'm off to make some coffee :-)

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Feckin jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!'

Calling all LA based Mistresses

Hey all

So, it is confirmed. A national TV show with one of your favorite hosts (hint: he is a 'Doctor') is doing a show about my Mistresses Anonymous Group (MAG) and the online daily support group (www.mogulus.com/uk2la). So for any of you who have trusted me enough with your stories and sought advice from me, especially those who come to my MA group sessions, please let me know if you would be interested and willing to come on TV with me and become liberated by telling your story.

So many of you have told me that I saved your souls - some your lives - and also inspired you to end your affairs, that I hope to hear from some of you. I need YOU now.....

Anonymity can be arranged if you would like that. Time to show the prime time audience that the perception of the other woman is very wrong!

Email me to sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com if you are interested and would like to know more.

Hugs

Sarah J. x

"My Kinda Town Chicago (Sun Times) is..."

This is what the lovely TV critic- Paige Wiser - wrote in her column about Hells Kitchen and yours truly today...

Another non-Gordon Ramsay fan: his mistress

Thank you Paige

Sarah J.

What a fake bake if there ever was one!!

Sisters

Never underestimate the power of a (cheating) married man to lie...continually. I have just read - in today's UK Daily Mail newspaper - that Gordon Ramsay had the nerve to call me deluded about our affair! Shame he does not have those same balls to admit the truth about our affair. The truth ALWAYS comes out eventually - it just depends how long eventually actually is. If I am deluded then he is an ugly old wrinkled cook - oh, but he is, silly me!

The journalist doing the story had been told not to ask him about me, however, when his wife stepped out of the room (strike one) he ripped into me and how the story about him sleeping with me was so untrue...LOL!! Clinton comes to mind, and how stupid he looked when he had lied so much about something that was true and later proven.

It is said that "Knowingly making false statements, or at the very least making statements with disregard for the truth - either way - are defamatory."

Watch this space, as my guess is it won't be pretty.

Keep the faith and live in the truth

Sarah J x

Governor Sanford - Another scandal for the Republicans.

Well, well, well. One person who was probably not 'too cut up' about Michael Jackson's untimely death was the Governor of South Carolina, who, just 24 hours before the MJ tragedy, had been outed for having an affair with a woman in Argentina..... (talk about long distance eh!!).

For those of you who didn't see his live statement at the press conference, you really should. It was award winning. Oh the tears. Oh the guilt. All in all enough to make a crocodile handbag and matching shoes!!!

In this case I must commend his wife, and you will know that's rare for me. At least she had the kahunas (sp?) to get out. She had left him to his little south-American mistress a while earlier when he had told her of his extra-marital activities, and, seeing her talking to the media yesterday she seems like she is a woman who has it all put together. It will be interesting to see how the next part of this saga plays out, but, more importantly, we ALL want to get a glimpse of 'Miss Argentina now righ???!!!'

Watch this space

Peace

Sarah J. x

Barbara Walters is a true Wolf in Sheep's Clothing??!! I am OUTRAGED and DISGUSTED!!!!!

Right Sisters 

Sorry I haven't written for a while but I have been run off my feet (although sadly not by a handsome, fit, virile, young man).  I'm sure that many of my American sisters know I was on "The View" yesterday (The View is one of the top daytime talk shows here in the USA and hosted by Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters & co.) The interview went well, even though I was thrown a couple of curve balls. You can go to this link to see the interview.

http://www.theview.tv/video/hot-topics-having-affair

However, I am so so totally devastated and gutted.  Anyone who knows me well knows that it has been a big lifelong dream of mine to meet - and be interviewed by - Barbara Walters. The 'Most Famous Other Women in the World' finally get to talk candidly so to speak. And - I thought - that after all she wrote in her book about her affair, that she would be the last person on earth to judge me! Sadly I was very WRONG!! Very wrong indeed....

The reality of my short meeting with 'Ms. Walters' was, and is, the biggest shocker and disappointment of my whole life to date (and hell, I've had some mega ones as many of you will know) because of what she said to me back-stage before I went on air.  For any of you who saw the show, BaWa and Whoopi ripping into the brilliantly sharp commentator Glenn Beck from FOX News (the previous guest on before me) for SO long meant that my interview was actually pushed to the next segment because they ran out of time; it also meant that Barbara would apparently then not be able to be on the panel of hosts interviewing me as she had to leave.  In hindsight thank GOD she had to leave, as what I am about to describe would have happened on air and I would have looked like a right clown I can tell you as I had no answer for what she said to me.  To be honest, I have never heard anything quite so ignorant ever before. (*If you're reading this Glenn - thank you for being on before me - and I am here for you, whatever you need.) 

So, I went up and introduced myself to Barbara behind the scenes, and told her how thrilled - even honored - I was to meet her, since she has been "where I have been" and how we hence had "a lot in common" kinda of thing,  adding how "I wished she was going to be on the panel to be in my corner." Well, Bab's turned round and said to me, "Oh no my dear (without even a pause) I have never been a Mistress!!" I said, "Err hello?? What???  I saw you talking about your mistress days (with a black senator no less, and can you imagine in those days how bad a thing that was for her to do) last year on the Oprah Show, and I read about it in your book."  She replied with, "Well I may have been the other woman but I was never a mistress, my bills were never paid for me. I was never financially looked after!" and  she looked at me with complete disdain! With that, she slowly picked up her handbag and turned to leave. Her parting shot was the most interesting though.  She turned to me and said, "but, if I ever did it again I would make sure I was."

So there we have it - MORE denial.  Incredible. Everybody seems to be living in denial these days of who and what they are. But that is Barbara's belief I guess (and there were no cameras on us so this was her being her) and her way of absolving what she did perhaps. That must be the hollywood slant on being the other woman. My blog  - and my anger today - is fueled by the poignant comment left by an anonymous mistress named 'Wolf Cries Alone' on my blog page yesterday. The very 'user name' she chooses as her handle is heartbreaking in itself. Wolf says that she cannot even afford to buy my book right now, not until she gets paid next Friday, yet, as you will read in her comment below, she is currently living out the pain of having an affair with a married man. I'd love to know what you think Wolf? Do you call yourself a Mistress? I can see in your comment you do. If so, don't dare let Barbara hear you, it would blow her theory - as from the nature of the comment you left me it does not sound to me like you are having any bills paid for you by your MM right now, and that you seem in a bad financial place in general (bet his wife is doing ok of course though eh Wolf???)

Actually I am going to post Wolf's comment here for all to see (*and Wolf please email me your mailing address so I can send you a complimentary copy of my book asap!!). You will not cry alone any longer my dear.  I am here for you. And for the record Wolf, my mistresses at my Mistresses Anonymous chat room are livid about all this. Come to http://www,mogulus.com/uk2la

WolfCriesAlone has left a new comment on your post "A SONG for my SISTERS.......": 

Wow, Sarah, you hit the nail on the head with this one (song by SJS)! As a fellow poet and currently a mistress, you have described me to the core. Can't wait to buy your "manual" next friday. (When I get paid). Can't afford your book as yet, but I will see if the public library has a copy I can read as it sounds like it's a must read for any woman not in her right mind and get's into an affair, like me. 

Posted by WolfCriesAlone to "Pillow Talk" with Sarah J. Symonds at May 22, 2009 11:41 AM

Please send me your comments ladies as I am totally outraged by Barbara's words to me.  I sure as hell was not having 'my bills paid' by Gordon Ramsay, even though I am constantly referred to in the media as 'his mistress!'

I am really outraged by Barbara's hypocrisy and mindset as I had AT LEAST expected support from her.  I have to say that all of the other hosts on The View were wonderful to me and so gracious.  I would have expected them to be the ones to make me feel cheap if anyone were to - as Sherri has been cheated on and Elizabeth is happily married, but they were lovely to me.  I can't believe it was Barbara who has made me feel so cheap!  I thought Barbara would at least be someone who could relate to me and to our plight!  I was even going to tell her that her 'coming out' made all of us mistresses feel less stupid.  I mean if Barbara Walters  - the biggest female talk show host in the world  - can choose to be in an affair with a married, high profile, man it made us feel better about ourselves - or it at least did me anyway.  What she said to me is like us both being (ex) drug addicts but her saying to me "Oh no dear, I was never a crack-head...I just liked to shoot up my arm on the weekends - just for fun and for recreational purposes...but, I was never one of you!"

I'm off for a cold shower to try and calm down!!  I truly am raging mad at this now the more I think of it.  It doesn't help that the temperatures here in southern California are in the low 90's either!!!!!!!  

I want an apology from Barbara and I want to do a one-on-one interview with her on national TV to dispel the myths she is self-perpetuating.  For the record Barbara you have really have insulted me. How dare you look down your nose at me like that! You said you'd read my book last weekend - if so - then you will notice that the title is a "Handbook for the Other Woman" - that means YOU!  Call it what you will - you were still sleeping with someone else's husband so, for the record, you are no better or worse than me or the thousands of mistresses who write to me for advice.  You might want to remember that for your next book! I may be many many things Barbara but I am not a liar nor a hypocrite.  If only you could say the same.  Plus, I have helped hundreds and hundreds of women get out of their affairs with married men and used my wrong doings to help others.  I guarantee you can't say the same. 

A SONG for my SISTERS.......

Greetings all 

Inspired by he success of my daily on-line 'Mistresses Anonymous' Support Group (http://www.mogulus.com/uk2la) I have written this song, which I think pretty much sums it all up!  This is for all the women who have been gracious enough to share their stories with me, and all the sisters of the mistress-hood who have joined the chat room to share their experiences and empower themselves to get OUT of their affairs.  Everyone who stands up for their truth makes it easier for the next person.  'MA' rocks!!!  So proud of you all. 

Ps - If there are any music producers reading let me know LOL.

"The Secret Goodbye"

I exist by pretending to be ok all the time

The pain of loving you feels like a crime

Everyone’s noticing the strain on me

And I cant say why as discretion is key

 

*Inside I’m dying, I’m always crying - so then why do I stay? Because maybe one day you’ll be mine, you just may

 

These chains are too heavy to carry forever

As I know we will never be together

You’ve already got a family and wife

So why then the lies; why steal my life?

 

*Inside I’m dying, I’m always crying - so then why do I stay? Because maybe one day you’ll be mine, you just may

 

I lay alone in my bed and 3am is the worst

I obsess about you with her and it hurts....really hurts

Day and night I just rot away inside,

In a way I could never, ever, describe

 

*Inside I’m dying, I’m always crying - so then why do I stay?  Because maybe one day you’ll be mine, you just may

 

You say I’m number one, yet never put me first

You call me crazy but it's anger – enough to burst!!

The pain is becoming too much to bear

And I have no ears with which to even share

 

*Inside I’m dying, I’m always crying - so then why do I stay? Because maybe one day you’ll be mine, you just may

 

As your secret other woman I’m just invisible.

You’ve stolen my dreams, my self-esteem, and, I'm miserable

Yet, I’m the one who loves you and cares for you..

So who do your family think is doing all that I do???

 

*Inside I’m dying, I’m always crying - so then why do I stay? Because maybe one day you’ll be mine, you just may

 

All I do is wait for your calls and for your news

I live in false hope one day it’ll be me ‘you choose’

I know you’ll survive - without me- and the lies

So now, to save myself, it really is time to say goodbye.

 

 

A POEM of LOVE .......by Sarah J. Symonds

Although Cyprus was a washout love-wise, here is a poem I was inspired to write while visiting the serene birthplace of Aphrodite the Goddess of Love. The setting was an expansive ocean all around me.  A fusion of bright turquoise and indigo waters crashing together against the rocks of where Aphrodite allegedly rose from the waves.  I am sure the words will resonate with many of you:  Enjoy..

Two People, One Step To The Beat...

Two hearts hold no discrimination when pairing

Two souls are reborn through the joy of sharing

Two people from different worlds come together

Two people but one pair of footsteps forever

 

If a love once deemed lost is now regained

And it’s lovers reasons never named or shamed

If the Lord affords them this second chance

He’s allowing their footsteps to go on and dance

 

Two people who trust and believe in each other

Can have a bond and commitment beyond many lovers

Maybe this is as good as it gets

Maybe it’s the reason why we met

 

In this world full of shallow agendas

It’s hard to allow one’s heart to surrender

But what if our soulmate is in front of our eyes?

 What if we’re too busy “looking” to realize

 

Thank you Lord for showing us the way

And for the luxury of living each brand new day

I pray that you give us the strength and the time

So our footsteps and hearts stay forever entwined

 

 

* * * *

 

The Goddess of Love...

Hey Sisters, how are you.  Before I forget, here is a link to a radio show I did recently in Marbella Spain (sadly it was a phone-in so I didn't actually get to Spain...)

http://www.talkradioeurope.com/clients/sarah.mp3

I did one of my first global Mistresses Anonymous chat room sessions last night at 8pm EST.  I hope more of you will join soon.  We had mistresses from Canada and America - was great fun. Although we were all of different age groups and circumstances, we were all saying the same thing.  Never believe a word that comes from a cheating MM's lips!  It felt so good to talk  - I know the other ladies will agree.  To join in the chat room just go to www.mogulus.com/uk2la  and, to the right of the TV screen - which is playing footage of my Mistresses Anonymous LA meeting - you will see a place to log into the chat room on the right hand side, and archives of previous conversations.  Use either your real name, or your anonymous mistressing name to log in, whichever makes you most comfortable but at least so I know it's you!!  If I am not in the chat room myself (with the traveling and the time difference it is a challenge sometimes) I encourage you to chat amongst yourselves.  We are the 'Mistresses Club' after all, and I as your leader will be there as much as I can....

That said, I will I have a lot of new news for you in the coming days this week, as I report live on my blog from my trip to Cyprus. Why Cyprus I hear you ask? Well, because, it's the legendary birthplace of  Aphrodite - the Goddess of Love (and my new role model perhaps?). Apparently she rose from the waves in a surge of white foam on the Island's south coast. I'm wondering if I can I do the same..at least for a photo op maybe!!  I'm looking forward to bathing at the 'Baths of Aphrodite' where the goddess of love herself is said to have bathed (well, if it's good enough for her and all that!!)

As research for my second book "From Mistress to Mrs" I thought it important to go back to basics and to where exactly this love chick came from.  While there, I will also be trying to meet some of the local men (just for research of course, as remember, I am planning to be married in 9 months time!!!!) Don't worry, I will make sure they are single, and, I will steer clear of the Island Chefs :-D. But - who knows, maybe I will end up doing a modern day 'Shirley Valentine.' (American sisters do you know who she is? Go google it if not, you will laugh - and I recommend you rent the movie :-)

'Yasso' as we say in Cyprus.  I'm off to pack. 

Sarah J. x

Egg-citing Easter chatroom for Mistresses Anonymous...

Guys I have started hosting the Mistresses Anonymous chatroom. 

Go to www.mogulus.com/uk2la and see the chatroom board next to the video of my real life group meetings in LA.  Let me know if any of you are at a loose end this Easter weekend, as I doubt you will be seeing much of your MM, that's for sure.  Let me know some good times for you all too....

'Chat' soon.

Sarah J. your Affair Doctor! 

I made it to Number Ten Downing Street...Sort of!

Ok, well, I've heard and done some things in my time, but yesterday I read that because of GR's affair with me, he had been booted out of doing the catering for President Obama's visit to dinner at Number 10 Downing Street last week. Apparently, Prime Minister Gordon Brown didn't think it would be a good idea to have, fellow Scott, Chef Gordon Ramsay there with all the affair rumor scandal still swirling (question: does Mr. Brown think adultery is catching then? A bit like the food poisoning outbreak at Heston's "Fat Duck" Restaurant perhaps?).  Hence he chose the lovely, but safe bet, of Chef Jamie Oliver to cook for his esteemed guests and dignitaries instead. Here is a clip of the article that was printed in yesterday's UK "Mail on Sunday" Newspaper.  

"The word is that Berlin has been shelved. It's a bit like a domino effect for Ramsay – everything keeps going down.

To add insult to injury, Ramsay was originally Gordon Brown's No1 choice to cook for the Obamas at Downing Street last week.  But Jamie Oliver replaced him after the publicity over Ramsay's alleged affair with 'professional mistress' Sarah Symonds. 

'Gordon's reputation has been irrevocably damaged,' adds the source. 'He was in line to cook the meal months ago but after his affair he could not be seen to be cooking for the Obamas." 

Meanwhile, across town here at "Mistress Towers," there is 'nothing going down.'  Ugh, I have to get out there this week and have a few dates.  Only about 9 months left to go til I get married next year, on 21-01-2010, so I need to get my dating skates on!!!  Perhaps the fact that I seemingly saved President Obama from GR's cooking could 'go down in history?' hmmm....

I do love, and laugh, at the way the media refer to me as a "professional mistress" - it's hilarious.   Can I use that moniker on my driving license I wonder?  Seriously though, I'm not bothered by what people say about me because my nearest and dearest are the only thing that really matter to me; they know me and they know the truth (and still they love me anyway!!!!!).  Where I'm concerned it's a case of 'those who matter don't mind' and 'those who mind sure as hell don't matter!'

Peace and Hugs

Sarah J. x

What a weekend......

I'm back safely to the UK, but what a weekend I had!  In the last five days I have survived an emergency landing on the way to New York; the plane's engine cut out and caught fire upon take off, no fun I can tell you!! and even worse, a wasted night spent at an airport hotel in the UK while waiting for the next flight the next day (Hello to 'Reebok Man' if you are reading this, you will know who you are.)  

I finally got to the big apple in one piece though, and I did what I had gone there for - taped an interview with the brilliant Dateline NBC hosted by the gorgeous Hoda Kotb (show to be aired on 8th May). I have also strolled up 5th Avenue, shopped in Saks, and been stopped on the street by a New York Physic to tell me "I had GREAT energy around me" and how badly she "just wanted to be around it for a minute" (I have heard some great lines but that was a good one.)

NBC put me up at the Waldorf Astoria and just guess who was also staying there? The Infidelity Ambassadors of our time, Brad and Angelina. They were seen making out at the bar (childless of course) so don't believe all you read about them arguing and so on.

On the subject of what you read, check out this brilliant article that The Sunday Express Newspaper wrote about me over the weekend.  Yes Sisters, I am now officially the world's only "Infidelity Aunt"  - for my American and global sisters, "Aunt" refers to the term "Agony Aunt," which you would probably know more as "relationship columnist" ( Think "Dear Amy" for example). Although ironically, I think we can all confirm that the word AGONY fits very well into a mistresses life and an affair!!  That said, could I be an "Agony Affair Aunt?" perhaps.. 

http://www.sundayexpress.co.uk/posts/view/91842/Ramsay-mistress-I-m-an-adultery-guru-

On a personal note, I was supposed to squeeze in a NY date with the delicious 'Maximilliano' (yes, that really was his name) whom I met on Match.com, but there was just no time for frivolities this trip. There was also no real time to hold a Mistresses Anonymous meeting, due to my messed up flight making me arrive late.  I did coach a few New York mistresses by email and phone though, and sisters, I WILL BE BACK and I will plan a meeting then.

Now, all that said and done and safely back on terra firma, I did something today that I never thought I would do.  I did the ultimate in the "F" word....I joined Facebook, but only for the networking you understand.  Just trying to reach as many sisters of the mistresshood and married couples in distress as I can....

Phew, just rereading my entry today is exhausting even for me, and I lived it all personally.  I think it's time for a lie down LOL.  I would say a stiff drink too, but since I'm on the wagon at the moment, while detoxing and working out etc, then make mine a green tea please :-))

Hugs 

Sarah J. x

New York Chapter..

Sisters, I will be in New York this weekend to film something for NBC.  If any New York Mistresses want to come to a Mistresses Anonymous meeting let me know and I will set it up. Secret location will be advised by email.

Let me know ladies....

Hugs, Sarah J. 

British Mistresses - I want you!!

Ladies, as you will see from this blog and the comments being left, I hear from Mistresses all over the world. To date though, most of you write to me from America, and even Australia, Brazil and South Africa.  I would love to hear more from my British Mistresses.  I know you're out there, but I also know we Brits are more reserved in our society.  Typically in our society  -in general - we have no problem carrying out the deed in secret (in fact we are all at it, especially the politicians) but we just hate to talk about it. Some of us even choose to deny it or lie about it (for those of you up to date with the British media, you will know whom I am referring to.) Now, today, this blog is predominately for you my British sisters - as well as for my international sisters of the mistresshood as ever of course! -  Sharing is caring, so send me your dilemmas. Let's learn from each other, as this is the only arena where you will not be judged for who you are and the life you are living.  Your Infidelity Analyst -  and ex-mistress- Sarah is here to help.  And remember, I want to help empower you to get OUT of your affairs with these waste of space married guys.  You deserve more.

For extra momentum take a look at the link below which is of me holding one of my 'Mistresses Anonymous' group meetings in LA last year (aka The M.A. Society)  They are all real mistresses at the session.

http://www.mogulus.com/uk2la

Keep the faith,

Sarah J. x (PS - Mistresses I understand you write to me anonymously, as you should, but if you can just state where you are writing from, especially if it is UK, I would love to know :-)

Wives are SO in denial...

It's 4am here in Los Angeles, and I've just got off the air from doing a live interview for the LK morning television show on GMTV in the UK, aired on ITV.  Well, it's a good job I did do the link from so far away as the debate started to get a bit heated, and, I still can't believe the denial ridden rubbish that the 'wronged wife' in the London studio was spouting. She really truly believed it was the 'other woman's fault' for MAKING her husband cheat on her while she was pregnant. Bottom line is she chose a crappy guy as husband material in the first place (obvious by the way she said he was treating her) but rather than take responsibility for that, and even going on to have his kids too, she'd rather try and blame someone else (the OW) and use her as the scapegoat. (Although, it sounds to me like getting rid of her husband was the best thing that could have happened to her in the long run.  What a toad to do what he did!).  

Wives, for the record, a woman cannot lure your husband away.  A woman cannot force your husband to cheat on you, nor force him to have sex with her.  A wife can push her husband to stray though, and, she can be so indifferent toward him that he may not want to come home to her at all....unless he has to!  You have no idea the depth of deceit some of your husbands go to when they make the CONSCIOUS decision to cheat on you.  Mistresses can unknowingly become as much of a victim as the wife, and ultimately both women end up being manipulated by the same selfish guy.  Fact! 

Here is the link to the Oprah Show I did in 2007, as it also shows some 'wronged (American) wives.'

http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/slideshow1_ss_rel_20071019_350/7

It's beyond crazy that the wife continually chooses to blame the other woman when her husband is caught playing away.  Ironically the wife needs to look at herself in the relationship and see what responsibility she needs to take as to why he is looking for another woman in the first place.  So many women check out of their marriages both physically and mentally that it's no wonder so many men are out there on the prowl seeking fulfillment of their emotional and physical needs.  Men are simple creatures, they just need attention.  Wives if you start to realize that, and, try to act more like a mistress at the same time, then I guarantee you will stop many of your husbands from cheating on you! 

I'm working with a lot of wives out here in LA, coaching them on how to keep their husbands from straying.  I'm using my past, as a mistress, to help troubled marriages.  Being the only 'Infidelity Analyst' in the world I'm a busy girl right now, helping women across America "affair proof" their marriages.  I'm not looking to alienate anyone, I am trying to empower all women to be the best they can, to be in charge of their relationships and their minds and....to keep their man!!!!!

Must dash, there's work to be done.

Sarah J.

Dating Intervention...

Sisters, I'm still hearing from so many of you who are still with your married man,  still complaining that he won't leave his wife and how much pain that it's causing you, yet - you are still staying?  Come on girls, use me as an example to look at what you are doing (or rather, not doing) with your life. Don't accept a mediocre life by being second best in a relationship!  I know I couldn't do it again, not now I have been set free mentally by making the commitment to find a single guy and real love.

Use me as an example and as your inspiration to move on.  As you know, after my affair with Gordon hit the media I felt so bad that I had fallen off the wagon, again, and I decided to try and change my life from then on.  I am transforming and trying to self-improve myself every day.  The transition is empowering and exhausting at the same time. I can't wait til I meet Mr. Right though, and I will know immediately as I have been waiting for him all my life!

It seems there are some decent single guys out there you know, and I'm finding it so much fun to actually date a guy without having to 'worry what time he has to be home!!'  I'm totally not used to it. This week I have met a Cancer Doctor and a Vampire (If only I could roll them both into one, LOL) so watch this space.....as it's gonna happen :-)

On another note, check out this story that was in the Fabulous Magazine last Sunday.  Fabulous is the Sunday Magazine of the News of the World Newspaper and it really IS fabulous.  Here is a mistress who is happy dating her married men, and since you know that I like to keep it real and even handed on my blog, I have to share this story with you too. It looks like she is in charge of her emotions and is living the life she wants to.  Thats all I recommend to anyone.  Live the life that suits your soul. I wasn't anymore, which is exactly why I had to go straight.  You will see my cheating tips at the end of the article too.  

http://www.fabulousmag.co.uk/features/feature_married_054.php

Send me your dating stories sisters of the mistresshood, and GET OUT there and look for a single man!!!  You will wonder what took you so long.  I know I did!

Good luck

Hugs

Sarah J. 

The Business of Bulls**t

Sisters, while sitting here writing my diary I notice that today's quote of the day is one from George Washington, and I just have to share it with you, it said, "LET YOUR DISCOURSE WITH MEN OF BUSINESS BE SHORT AND COMPREHENSIVE."  I love it - and, if we just replace the word 'business' with the word 'bullshit' then I think we have our new mission statement for the dating arena (and definitely for the mistresshood eh). Wise words from a wise man, and even though he made that statement in the 1700's we can still definitely learn from it today...

Ironically, I met a lovely George myself today, in LA.  All I can tell you is that he is delectably tall dark and handsome!  Incase you're reading this George, thanks for making me smile today and, thanks a lot for 'Ruby.'  :-)

That's all 

Sarah J. x

Around the World in 80 Men....

Helloooo sisters, and brrrr from a freezing cold, very snowy, London. Thank God I made it back from Stockholm though, as it was even colder there. I did the talk show (the host was delicious) and here is a link to the show; the first part is in Swedish, and I come on about 29 minutes into the show, so when the screen opens just push the slider across and you will see me come on after a few guests....(By the way, look for my parents in the audience and giving advice to me at the end of the interview...SO cute they are.)

http://svtplay.se/v/1435665/skavlan/del_4_av_8?cb,a1364145,1,f,102975/pb,a13 64142,1,f,102975/pl,v,,1426606/sb,p102975,1,f,-1

Now to my dating news, and, as I said, this dating business is hard.  I am fending off the married ones with a stick (you would be proud of Ex-Mistress Sarah for that, and at the same time I'm sure not surprised to hear how many MMs out there are dying to have an affair).  Regards the single guys, here's the scoop so far. 

*Sweden -  no interesting guys, so no dates.  

*Myrtle Beach, the date was a disaster (Note to sisters, 26 year olds are great in the bedroom, but not so great in other areas of life such as responsibility and gentlemanly acts, and spoiling a girl.  Why would they be at 26 though eh?).  

*LA a couple of dates from Match.com but nothing special so far.  (I know, MATCH.COM you cry, but what to do?  It's hard out there for an ex-mistress who has professed she will be married within a year... cut me a bit of slack ladies.)

*New York City, and, is the best yet to come?  Well I will be there this week on business, and hopefully some pleasure - especially as it is the run up to Valentines Day. (Note to sisters: remember what I tell you in the 'Handbook for the Other Woman' about what you should expect from your MM at Valentines Day, especially if VD happens to fall on a weekend!  Do NOT accept his excuses for not being able to take you to dinner!) 

Check my Mistresses Anonymous link any time you need extra support

http://www.mogulus.com/uk2la

I am trying to inspire you all that life is better with a single guy, and that there are some decent ones out there if you look, however, you know I always speak my mind and tell you the truth, and right now it is like a desolate wasteland of testosterone out there, but, I am NOT going to fall off the wagon. I will find Mr. Right ...(I hope!.)

Keep the faith

Catch you later...

Sarah J. x

Greetings from Sweden!

Hello from Sweden, where it is snowing.  I'm here to do TV talk show.  Did you know that Stockholm has the largest population of single people of any capital city in the world? So, I am looking for husband material here, but so far no luck.  Thank you all for your messages of support on my quest to find my Mr. Right.  It is bloody hard though as I am sure many of you know.  Not hard in that I am still attracted to the marrieds, as I am not.  I have been able to quit my addiction to the bad boys and MM's and Mr. Ramsay was my last married man thank you very much.  But just hard to find someone that you can connect with and have chemistry with, who is halfway decent looking, and doesn't need a truck for his amount of baggage, sigh!  Anyhow, I'll keep on trucking on my road to romance, and have no fear, I will be married by this time next year.

Hugs

Sarah J.

'Deep V'

well well well Sisters, Deep V. has proudly told us, in his latest comment below, that he has two mistresses and also a lovely wife, and all of whom he loves equally!!  I'll let you add your comments to him (and Deep V. I warn you that my mistresses may not be very nice to you.)

From my side, why DO you call yourself Deep V. and what part of the world do you live in? And, do your two mistresses know about each other (of course, I already know the answer to that one but want to hear it from you...)

Sarah J.

R.I.P.

Well, this is an unusual and sad blog for me to have to write today.  I heard today from a fellow Mistress in London (Mistress B, for all of you who have read my book) and also read it in the Uk press, that an ex MM of mine (actually, 'ours') has passed away.  He was a lot older than me (just for the record) but we did have some fun times together, and he had a very big heart.  Since I reference him (anonymously of course) in my book, I had to document his passing as a way of closure on my part, and I really hope he is with the Angels now. RIP my love (and PS, I know you would have got a kick out of this blog in your honor!!)

Severe Man Shortage UK 2 LA

Sisters... I am trying to find the single man of my dreams, but there is a severe shortage of decent single men, as we already know!!!  I've kissed a lot of frogs so far, but at least I have not fallen off the wagon, yet.  Stay tuned.  

Keep the faith

sarah J. x

From Mistress to Wife?

Ok sisters, well, as you (and most of the world) publicly knows that I fell of the wagon last year for the final time, I have decided that I am only ever dating single men in the future (I REALLY DO MEAN IT THIS TIME). In fact, as part of my new life and new start, I have decided to go on a worldwide tour to find my own husband before I am 40 years old (and, considering I am 39 in two days time, I really have to get my skates on!!)

Having kicked off my challenge this weekend, I write to you now 'on location' where I am having a glorious date with a wonderful 26 year old - who has no baggage - (i.e. no wives, ex-wives, kids or step kids yahoo) at a secret beach hideaway on the East Coast.  Young is the way to go go go.  Will this be my first date? or my last date?

More later, must trot as the young chap needs me...

Send me your thoughts on the age gap

Hugs 

Sarah J.

New Year New Leaf

Sisters...

Happy New Year!!  I'd love to hear some of your Christmas and New Year's stories - were they horrors or hotties?  I received so many traumatic tearful emails in my mailbag from many of you suffering the acute pain and despair that goes hand in hand with being the other woman during the festive season.  I hope that with my stern advice, and the empowering comments from other mistresses on this blog, you were able to end some of your affairs and look for available love.  

Ironically, I am also getting a lot of emails from wives now, asking what are the signs to look for if their husband is cheating, but more importantly, how they can try and alleviate him straying in the first place.  My mantra is that prevention is definitely better than cure, so as you can imagine, I have been pretty busy.

As for MY New year's resolution, it is to definitely go straight from now on. Watch this space to hear more about my latest foray into the world of 'single dating...'

Keep the faith

Sarah J x