tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44709590163476246072024-03-08T02:15:39.065-08:00"Pillow Talk" with Sarah J. SymondsHaving an Affair?, the handbook for the “other woman”, is the new, controversial book written by British author Sarah J. Symonds. In her wickedly funny, straight-talking literary debut, Symonds does not advocate affairs, but instead, seeks to empower desperate other women to get out of them.Sarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.comBlogger135125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-48245375995805368402014-05-26T08:01:00.003-07:002014-05-26T08:43:10.316-07:00The REAL Reason Katie Price's Husband Cheated On Her!Another day, and another Katie Price-related story. One almost wonders if the three parties involved in this alleged affair are not in cahoots. Perhaps some bizarre cheating pact in order to keep their names in the media. If that was the plan then mission accomplished. <br />
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But let's just assume for a minute that Kieran Hayler really DID cheat on Katie Price, not many of us could blame him. I for one have a great deal of sympathy for the guy. It must be really hard to live in Katie's World after all. <br />
The poor guy probably felt like a piece of meat being passed around for this photo, and that photo. Being talked about in her column, and not to mention being constantly compared to all of her exes and ex husbands. NO man wants that. It knocks their ego and makes them feel unwanted and cheap. So what to they do? They go off and have an affair with someone of more simple tastes, someone who 'understands them.' Someone who makes them feel like a man again. And since most people stray with those around them, because they are familiar and safe, it was no shock to see he started sleeping with her best friend. I am not saying this is right - not for a New York minute - all I'm saying is that it was no shock. But then, if I could see it why couldn't Katie?? Was her own massive ego blocking her immediate vision?<br />
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The answer is she didn't want to. Remember, this is a woman who professed not to know she was SIX months pregnant. So since biology obviously isn't her forte, there's no surprise why they were able to pull the wool over her eyes with their affair. Cheats love an easy target like that. Kieran and Jane must have thought they had it made, and since it went on for so long - and so often, allegedly - it seems they did. <br />
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I urge women like Katie not to become baby-making-machines for the sake of trying to keep a man. This will be the 5th child with the 3rd man that has betrayed her, not to mention the other ones in-between. She famously wrote in her column that her and Kieran never used contraception. What a terrible role model for any woman!! Let's hope he at least used some with his Mistress Jane. <br />
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I believe the best way ahead for them is to part. A 25 year-old male stripper enjoying a seven-month affair, shows that he doesn't want to be a husband, let alone a responsible parent and step-parent to five kids. It's not rocket science, and any woman who tries to force a man into purgatory like this will be deluding themselves, as well as be disappointed. That, or simply be prepared that he will have an affair for the rest of his married life. And if that's the case, then don't go calling the other woman a home-wrecker, because as a wife you need to take some responsibility too! <br />
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As your Infidelity Analyst, take it from me, I know what I'm talking about. Stay faithful out there folks! <br />
Sarah xoxSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-27616421655301529062013-07-18T11:05:00.000-07:002013-07-19T01:07:49.693-07:00The REAL reason Liam Gallagher cheated on Nicole AppletonWell well well, so we learn this week that Liam Gallagher has been sewing his rock-seeds outside of his marriage to Nicole Appleton, but hey, this is no shocker for anyone with a pulse. Now I am NOT blaming his wife (although how come she never took his surname??) for his adulterous ways, as you CANNOT control a man when he chooses to cheat, but, I am blaming Nicole for being the type of 'put up and shut up' wife that becomes the perfect- willing-victim to be cheated upon. Nicole did her initial 'rock-monster' training with no other than the complex and confused Robbie Williams. He, and his many addictions and neuroses, will have started to erode her self-esteem to the core, so that by the time an even bigger egotistical rock-monster (not star, you notice) like Liam Gallagher came along, she was ripe for the picking. <br />
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She had a career that was just about good enough to make her interesting to him, yet was failing badly enough to know he would be able to manipulate her into the woman he needed her to be - i.e. his fixer, enabler, and all-out-Mother-figure. That's what men like him - with addictions that deep - will turn you into. That poor woman became so used to taking a back seat, being stoic, and giving her husband 'the space he needed' that she has without question lost her own sense of identity. At Wife School, this is a woman we would refer to as a Mousewife. Liam knew that she would make the perfect Mousewife, and that is why he married her. Simple. End of. He knew she would make perfect wife material and be his 'constant' yet ask no questions of him, thus allowing him to continue to carry out his cheating ways, as he had always done, and no doubt was always planning to do in the future. <br />
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I have heard it said that Nicole is boring to the point of dull. I do not know her, nor if it is true, however, if it is, then those two never should have married in the first place. She will never be enough for him, and he will look for his thrills elsewhere, men like him always do. And, I am beyond sure that Liam has a VERY LOW boredom threshold. I wish that Nicole could have seen his past behaviour as a predictor of the future (he already has other kids from various flings) but she didn't, and she fell for the hype he fed her. <br />
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I am hoping she will not continue to be a Mousewife any longer, that she will show him the door and close it FIRMLY behind him. As for the woman who has decided to make a living out of giving birth to his shagchild. Don't even get me going on HER. Some women get jobs, some women get pregnant. Shocking I say. <br />
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Peace<br />
Sarah J. xoxSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-55526967001164398962013-07-07T03:46:00.000-07:002013-07-07T03:57:24.351-07:00Open Letter to Nigella Lawson. Dear Nigella<br />
As Founder of Wife School, and as a 'Toxic Love Counsellor,' I have to write to you to offer you strength and support at this time. We have all seen the front page headlines today from your (hopefully soon to be ex) husband, and all I can say is what a pig he is, and what a coward. Nigella, I pray that you see this man for what he is. His actions are despicable. Not enough to physically abuse you in public, now he wants to verbally humiliate you too by 'saying he is divorcing you!' And, the CHEEK of him to expect you to 'stand up for his good name and character???!!' by defending his actions, and being 'oh-so-offended' that you didn't? My word. I've heard some things in my time, but this really takes the biscuit. Talk about a Narcissist personified!! <br />
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Nigella, I am beyond sure that you have tried your best to make this marriage work, as well as juggling your very successful career and bringing up your children too, and all while - in the early years - getting over the sad passing of your first husband John Diamond. They say that it takes 17 attacks on a woman before she leaves an abusive relationship. None of us know if there were more than this instance, but I am confident in thinking a control-freak like him will have made similar physical threats to you before. So I pray now that this is the time YOU walk away. It has been muted that you had an addiction to him, to this toxic love, and I know ALL about that, but you have to get past that now Nigella, and get on to a healthier path, without "MR. TOXIC himself" standing in your way. He will of course try to play his mind games on you, and play on your vulnerabilities now, and he will even try to use the headlines in the Mail on Sunday to win you back, but please stay strong and don't let him. <br />
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The Sisterhood are rooting for you all over the world. Please, don't go back to this life Nigella. This man is just a pig in smart shoes, as well as a bully, and now, as the world can see, a coward too. <br />
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Godbless, and wishing you strength to stand your ground,<br />
Sarah xoxSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-40895472690689010812013-07-05T05:57:00.002-07:002013-10-31T05:15:20.809-07:00Hooray for (Mrs.) Hollywood I just had to write this open letter to you Alexandra, to commend you on behalf of women everywhere. You have made the Sisterhood proud. You have acted with grace and dignity, in the face of what is a very public humiliation, thanks to your lousy cheating husband's antics. <br />
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Alexandra, at Wife School, I teach wives NOT to be a doormat to their husbands, or rather, not to be a 'Mousewife' as we call it at Wife School. You have proven that there's <i>nothing</i> Mousewife about you!! I can't imagine what made Paul do this, and how easily he was won over by Tinsletown, the TV world and Marcela, but I always say that losing a man is like a promotion. He wasn't good enough for you anyway and there is definitely something better around the corner! He's acted like a typical man, I mean, he didn't have to look far did he. His co-host? Oh please! He may only be a Baker - not a Chef - but my God it sure seems he carries the Chef-cheating-gene which I know so well. <br />
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I love that you're not just rolling over and taking this Alexandra, that you are filing for divorce and NOT taking him back. SO many wives, "Put Up and Shut Up," which is ridiculous as if you forgive a cheat he will do it again. That's guaranteed and proven to be true. I am positive this fling with his co-host won't last, and I bet he will be back to you with his tail (and other parts) between his legs before you know it. I'm hoping you will still stand your ground and tell him to 'bake off'!! He will try to win you back Alexandra, oh how he'll try, they always do. The chase will be his game. Especially when he can see how empowered, confident, and funny you have become without him. However, if you do end up divorcing him, I do urge that you never give up that brilliant surname. "Mrs. Hollywood" is priceless, and down the line it will act as a great reminder of a man who didn't realise which side his bread was buttered! <br />
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Stay strong, and stand your ground,<br />
Regards<br />
Sarah Sarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-35032090191346110662013-06-23T08:50:00.002-07:002013-06-23T08:50:18.820-07:00School's IN for Summer. Wives, I address all of you here today, and, rather urgently I might say. <br />
The time of the year is upon us. The time to "catch a cheating husband." So, if you have any doubts, suspicions, or concerns, that YOUR spouse might be cheating on you, then you need to read and listen closely. If you care to of course. <br />
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This is the time of year when Mistresses yearn for their married lover who is off with the family on that 'dreaded' and 'oh-so-boring' summer vacation he says he doesn't want to be on. The time when he knows he has to somehow keep communication going with his Mistress-in-waiting, so that she will still be there waiting for him with open arms (and other parts) when he gets back from his intense family time. After all, the poor guy will need some release and some good times after being holed up with that wife he says he has "nothing in common with" (yawn!!). So wives, I urge you, watch your husband's movements this vacation trip. If he has to keep popping out to 'call the office,' be aware, and check his last numbers dialled. If he has to have some alone time, or needs to go play lengthy rounds of golf etc, whatever his reasons, if he needs to be alone then it could well be to have lengthy chats with his other woman (who, mark my words, will be giving him immense flack for being away with you and leaving her for so long.) <br />
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If you think I am making this up, don't. I had an affair with a married man once, who took the kids to Disneyland Paris on vacation. He feigned everything from conference calls to upset stomachs in order not to go on the rides with his wife and the twins, just so he could have the time to call me. Often. To tell me how bad a time he was having (yawn) but you get my point? Not fair to either woman, Wife nor Mistress!!<br />
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So wives, don't dig your heads in the sand this summer, as all you will get is sand in your hair. IF you have ANY doubts or concerns then sign up for my online Summer Wife School. Lets put those doubts to bed, once and for ALL!! Think of me as your factor 20, but for infidelity protection, not sun protection. <br />
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Peace<br />
Sarah J, xoxSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-68310471481900083462013-05-04T05:37:00.002-07:002013-05-04T06:01:05.176-07:00The 13-steps of the Mistresses Anonymous Support Group. <br />
The 13-Steps and traditions of the “Mistresses Anonymous” Support and Recovery Program, as used my live "MA" meetings around the world.<br />
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<b>1. </b>You admit you have a problem: - That your life is out of control due to living as a Mistress in despair of her affair. <br />
<b>2.</b> You fully commit to reclaiming your life from this skid-row of relationships, from this toxic love and toxic married man.<br />
<b>3.</b> Set goals to stop all communication with your MM (married man) and throw away everything that reminds you of him.<br />
<b>4.</b> Make a list of all the things you have given up to be with your MM during the affair.<br />
<b>5.</b> Make inventory of all the lies he has told you and the empty promises he has made to you.<br />
<b>6.</b> Make a list of all your family and friends you’ve lied to and come clean to them. <br />
<b>7.</b> Attend MA meetings and find an MA sponsor to keep you strong.<br />
<b>8.</b> Actively monitor your goals. Empower yourself. Work hard to regain your personal power, self-respect and self-esteem. <br />
<b>9.</b> Practice being single. Go on a date a week with a single guy.<br />
<b>10.</b> Fully commit to NEVER allow yourself to be second best again.<br />
<b>11.</b> Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in misery.<br />
<b>12.</b> Actively follow the 12 steps and share the MA message.<br />
<b>13.</b> Enjoy a nice cold glass of step #13 (aka Chardonnay) you deserve it. <br />
Sarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-11505542338826160052013-04-17T04:49:00.001-07:002013-05-04T05:27:36.419-07:00The 12-Steps of Wife School, teaching wives to act more like Mistresses. The number one rule at Wife School is to act more like a mistress than a wife, i.e."Be Your Husband’s Mistress” Here are the official, simple, 12-steps to Affair-Proofing <i>your</i> Marriage!<br />
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<b>1.</b> <b>Be the woman he married</b> – He married you for a reason, he loves you, so be sure you don’t change into a different woman as soon as you’ve eaten the wedding cake!<br />
<b>2. </b><b>Keep your appearance in check</b> - Don’t pile on the weight after you get ‘comfortable’ with him, nor let your dress sense go. Looking good will help YOU feel better, as well as making sure your husband only has eyes for you.<br />
<b>3. Listen to him and be attentive</b> - Be interested in him and how his day was. Stay up late to see him after he’s had a hard day at work, even if you are tired. Ask him how his day was, before unloading all your troubles (and not too many troubles!)<br />
<b>4. Communicating and the art of communication </b>- Flirt with him throughout the day either via text, email, phone etc (*Note: that’s what all Mistresses do with your husbands*). Be fun and fun loving. Don’t nag! Ultimately make him WANT to come home to you, not HAVE to come home to you.<br />
<b>5. Be Intimate with your husband everyday</b> – Preferably sex YES! But even if you don’t always feel like it, there are other things you can do. If you’re not sleeping with your husband, I guarantee someone else is! Even a hug and a kiss will be welcomed if you can’t go the whole way, but some form of intimacy is essential. <br />
<b>6. Put more friendship in your romance</b> – Lighten up on the romantic side of your marriage. See your man as your best friend as well as your lover. That way you can really be yourself and be relaxed around him, just as you are with good friends.<br />
<b>7. Stroke his ego, and other parts</b> – Men want to feel like men. They want to feel needed and wanted. Tell him how much you appreciate him, especially when he does something nice. Let him know you respect him as a man. And touch him. Be tactile with him.<br />
<b>8. Be Sexy </b>– Even if you sit around in your sweatpants all day, be sure to change just before he comes home from work into something sexier. Oh and remember to shave those legs, and other parts.<br />
<b>9. Ambiance</b> - Create an environment he will enjoy when he comes home. Focus on soft lighting, scented candles and gentle music playing. Maybe run a hot bath, or jump in a steamy shower with him. Have his favourite drink ready, or enjoy a glass of wine together. Hide the kid’s toys, and any other clutter.<br />
<b>10. Time Management</b> – Never make the ‘kids your life.’ All you will do is alienate your husband. Try to manage your time wisely so that when your husband comes home you have time for him. Couples that don’t eat together, or spend the evenings together, generally grow apart. Don’t allow your husband to become distant or lonely, or a space will be created for another woman to walk into his life.<br />
<b>11. Cooking</b> – Be sure to spend less time in the kitchen and more time in the bedroom, as the way to a man’s heart is NOT through his stomach, it’s actually more South of his waistband! A nice hot meal need not take hours so don’t ever slave over a hot stove. Be adventurous in the kitchen, but even more so in the bedroom.<br />
<b>12. Keep your own identity</b> – NEVER be a doormat for your husband. Be a strong woman, and let him know that if he ever mistreats you, or cheats on you, you will not put up with it. Teach him to make sure he respects you, and that he will lose you if he strays. Also, have your own life and interests, so that you are not just ‘a wife.’ Otherwise you will have nothing to ever tell him or surprise him with. You should be willing to work for a relationship, but never suffer for it.<br />
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Sarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-74688766603616337342013-04-05T07:40:00.001-07:002013-04-05T07:56:39.082-07:00Revenge: Bitter or Sweet?Sisters, I hesitate as I sit here to write a blog on THIS topic, as it is such a personal one to so many of us. I've been busy life-coaching mistresses OUT of their affairs this week as usual, and at least four of them all want to 'seek revenge' (i.e. they want to call 'the wife'). So here are my thoughts on the topic. <br />
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Generally, when you exact an 'act of revenge' it very seldom gives you the result you seek. In fact it can leave you hurting (and feeling more angry and bitter than you did before). Revenge is - at best - extremely unsatisfying, I know that from personal experience. However, I also understand the feelings of 'wanting to get even,' 'making him pay for what he did,' etc, the list goes on. It's almost as if there needs to be a revenge equation, something that would somehow balance the love-grievance, redress the balance, then enable the aggrieved party to be able to move on with the rest of their lives. <br />
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Sometimes there is nothing than can ever compensate for a romantic disaster or fallout, because let-downs and betrayals can leave you feeling like your whole world has collapsed, your heart and soul violated and abused. However, one remedy is starting a happy and healthy relationship with someone MUCH nicer (and SINGLE). So, rather than us pontificating about that age-old adage,"happiness being the best form of revenge," perhaps we ought to start saying that, "<i>forgetting </i>is the best chance of happiness." After all, THEY will always be cheats, but you my dear Sisters-of-the-Mistresshood, had a lucky escape from these men, and, to me that is revenge in itself. <br />
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Let me leave you with a posting from a mistress here on Pillow Talk, who describes her experience when she called a wife up for revenge, she says; "I was the other woman who told his wife about him cheating on her, because he wouldn't leave me alone. All she said was, "What do you want me to do about it?" She said, "The wife acted in the same way that he would when he used to berate or manipulate me." She went on to say that she 'couldn't believe her manner in which the wife spoke to her, and, that they deserved each other in her opinion.'<br />
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Get your heads out of the sand ladies, and stay true to YOU!!<br />
Peace and hugs<br />
Sarah J. xox Sarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-81801467186897488482013-02-04T05:07:00.002-08:002013-02-04T05:44:58.894-08:00The Valentines Day Survival Kit - For Mistresses AND WivesDear Sisters one and all, for the first ever time here on Pillow Talk, I am writing a blog for both Mistresses AND wives, as I believe there is no longer a definition between the two. If you are <i>both</i> involved with the same man, then you are both settling for less than you deserve. You are both sharing half of a man while he is getting the very best out of two women. You are both - literally - sleeping with the enemy and being manipulated by a skilled liar and cheat so that he can have his cake and eat it, having all <i>his</i> needs met. How does that make you feel? <br />
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Now, that said, <i>The Day of Love</i> is fast approaching, yes it's Valentine's Day next week. Here in the UK it happens to fall during school Half-Term, so the kids will be at home. This could pose a few pesky problems for some. For example, if you're a wife and a mother you may profess to be, 'too busy with the kids to bother about doing anything with your husband to celebrate Valentines Day!' Well, <b>DON'T</b> be too busy. This is the first rule of my <b>Wife School (www.sarahswifeschool.com)</b> that you should always make time for your husbands, in fact, 'Be Your Husband's Mistress,' make him feel loved and special. If you happen to be the cheating married man then it may be harder than usual to escape this year on the evening of the 13th, what with the kids being home. Hopefully this will make things <i>very</i> awkward for you. And for Mistresses, let this Valentines Day be your <b>WAKE-UP</b> call to get out of this redundant relationship with another woman's husband. If you are a British Mistress let it be an even bigger wake-up call, as since it's falling in Half-Term it will be just like a 7 day weekend for you, when your MM moans about how he has to be at home with the family!! You too deserve better! Way better.....<br />
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<b>Signs and tips for Suspicious Wives this Valentines Day:</b><br />
* He tries desperately to keep to his 'business dinner' on the 13th February<br />
* Moody and distant around the 13th and 14th<br />
* Pre-occupied with his phone and emails around this time<br />
* Check for credit card receipts for an 'extra' bunch of flowers!<br />
* Check for more money coming out of the ATM than normal (secrets are expensive!)<br />
* If he says he is working late at the office on 13th Feb - CALL and check it out.<br />
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On a lighter note, if you have no suspicions, enjoy your husband and show him you love him every day. After all, a husband is for life, not just Valentine's Day. For all you Mistresses who will be sitting home alone on the 14th (and this year maybe the 13th too) pining for a cheat, I have one word for you, WHY?????<br />
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Peace<br />
Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-14652118236521564312012-09-06T14:26:00.001-07:002012-09-06T14:33:45.250-07:00Do you REALLY need the plus one in your life??Sisters, and even brothers,
I want to talk to you today about staying in the wrong relationships. WHY do it?? Since my show aired last week, I have heard it all. Emails from women involved with married men who said they were 'unhappy at home' (*rolls eyes*) and one today even, from a Mistress who believed her married man to have filed for separation...not only did she just find out he filed incorrectly, and hence is still married (*yawn*) but his wife came over to confront her and the wife is heavily pregnant!!!!! Why do these TWO women stay with this cheating narcissitic individual??
We are all looking to love and be loved, I get that, but we have to respect ourselves and know that it is wrong on all levels to just stay with the wrong person for the sake of it, the person who does not make you happy. Whether it be because you feel you can't be alone, or that you feel you just have to have a 'somebody' in your life. No, you don't. You will survive, and you will be better off alone than with the wrong person who may be draining you and rotting you to your very core.
So today's message is love yourself first. Put yourself first. Anyone who wants to be with you should be open, honest, and upfront. Lets keep the liars, cads, and cheats at bay.
Stay strong you all, and live a happy life not a crappy life!
Peace
Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-81524115368923628332012-07-29T14:24:00.002-07:002012-07-29T14:24:16.808-07:00The Time Has Come!Mistresses, and Misters......
I am deeply proud (and still somewhat shell-shocked) to announce that "The Mistress" (my new reality show) will premiere in Canada on 29th August. Pull up your seats one and all, for not only a birds-eye view into the secret world of the mistress, but also tips on how to spot a cheater, and how to avoid heartache, and, how to affair-proof your marriage.
I am aiming at global domination on this topic you all, so, if you don't live in Canada, don't despair, I hope to bring the show to a TV near you soon.
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-79650931454457406242012-03-23T09:12:00.006-07:002012-03-23T09:52:33.201-07:00Are YOU an Addict?Sisters,<br />I write my blog today to address all those of you who are currently dating a married man and are in despair of your affair, purely 'existing' as you suffer the pain of being in love with an unattainable man. This blog is aimed at YOU. Women stuck in affairs and wish they were not. <br /><br />Staying in an affair can be an ongoing personal tragedy. It can ruin your health, your looks, and rot you to your very core. It can undermine your self-esteem, destroy your self-confidence, drain your energy and suck your emotions dry. Not to mention waste years of your life in a dead-end relationship.So why on earth do you stay? Your inner voice is telling you to leave, but you just can't. It's as if the pain of leaving is greater than the pain of staying, right? Is this YOU? If so, you are an addict. An addict to toxic love. <br /><br />A healthy balanced relationship (i.e. one with TWO people in it, not THREE) is generally one where people freely choose to be together, or not! The addictive element comes in where that choice is no longer under your control. One of the hallmarks of addiction is a compulsive drive to do things, this limits your freedom to make choices. Then there is the panic. The panic at the thought of breaking it off, not having this toxic love in your life anymore. This is followed by possible withdrawal symptoms if you DO break up. Leaving you to go back to him, your drug of choice. Another trait of the toxic-love-addict is the sense of incompleteness, despair, sadness and emptiness, which you feel you can only find by your connection to your married man. He becomes the centre of your existence and you are willing to do a great deal of damage to yourself in order to keep your connection to him intact. In order to keep him in your life, even if it is all on his terms. Basically you give up all control to him. Is this YOU? <br /><br />If all this sounds like you, or even someone you know, I urge you to enroll on my Mistresses Anonymous recovery group programme. I can help you STOP being an addict, and help you to a better life, one of freedom, choices, and happiness. For more information please go to www.mistressesanonymous.com. Mistresses Anonymous is a fellowship programme for women around the world, all with one thing in common, 'the despair of their affair.' The only requirment to be a part of MA is a sincere desire to stop dating your married man. <br /><br />Peace and hugs<br />Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-9514613746128144792012-02-26T06:24:00.003-08:002012-02-26T07:59:38.902-08:00Get Your Pride On, Sisters!Sisters,<br />The more I talk to women, and the more emails and letters I get from you every single day, the more I realize I'm dealing with an acute epidemic of low self-esteem in the Sisterhood. What's happened to the female race that has allowed us to lower our standards so much where men are concerned? To that end, today's Pillow Talk blog is all about Pride, and getting your pride back ON! <br /><br />How many of us have ignored all the neon signs a man was sending us and hung on anyway, hoping he will change. Have many of us have waited alone in bars and coffee shops for him when he was 'running late' (or even worse, failed to show at all). For beautiful intelligent women why on earth do we do this to ourselves? And, why do we allow ourselves to stay with a man who is treating us with anything other than respect? Its time to stop wasting time with the time wasters, SIsters. Its time to know what we DON'T want, and focus on what we do. I can honestly say I wasted over 15 years of my life acting like a moron fretting over worthless guys, guys who made me obsess, cry, call, not call, deconstruct their excuses, and personally self- destruct over them, but, not anymore. I now don't - and will never again- waste even 15 minutes doing it, and haven't done so for the past 3 years. I've lived by the 'pride for myself rule' and that in turn makes me proud of myself. <br /><br />My message to you all today is simple: When a man doesn't call or text you when he says he will, it's usually because he just IS not that into you. So STOP making all the excuses under the sun for him such as, he lost his mobile phone, lost your number, is getting over his ex, or went out of town. NO. This has to stop. Use your gut to realize you are flogging a dead horse and move ON from these ambivalent men. If you don't then YOU are the one with the acute problems, not him. He has shown you what he is up front. If you choose to keep the blinkers on because you can't face the truth, it will make you old very quickly. Stop pining and whining like a schoolgirl over men who are not even worth a second date. Stop being so desperate that you are willing to overlook major personality flaws (such as his not calling, turning up, switching his phone off, or generally avoiding you or even seeing other women). It is time to stop focusing on him and start focusing on you. Time to stop focusing on the disease and start focusing on the cure! STOP building that man up in your head to be 'the one' when you truly know he is not, because when that dream YOU had for you and him as a couple dies, it will be a double blow to you. It's hard to accept things weren't 'meant to be' and depressing and lonely too, but, if you didn't live in such denial and false hope about it to begin with, then it wouldn't BE so hard. Stop inflicting pain and drama on yourselves! Nobody likes a martyr. This advice goes to single women dating single guys, and mistresses embroiled with married men. I can even extend it to wives who are being treated like crap by their husbands and STILL staying with them!! <br /><br />So I leave you with this thought, what is the point of dating - or being with - a guy who's not making you feel great? One you have to pull teeth with to get any kind of communication out of him. I mean, you wouldn't stay in a job you hated, or endure a friendship that took its toll on you, so why do so with a man? Surely thats just double standards. <br /><br />The moment you stop looking so desperate to find a man, or so desperate to stay with him against all odds just to be IN a relationship, then that is the moment you will meet a good guy. Trust me on this. <br /><br />Peace and hugs<br />Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-88296452479471488372012-02-22T16:17:00.003-08:002012-02-22T16:25:56.363-08:00<span style="font-weight:bold;">The MAJOR tell-tale sign of whether you are a mistress or not</span>? <br /><br />Well, you’re reading this, aren’t you?<br />The simple fact that you’ve landed on this website - and also my www.mistressesanonymous.com site - and are reading about the recovery program, is already tipping the balance towards a "Mistress Diagnosis." Meaning that if you have to ask, then the chances are good that you're already living as the Other Woman to a man who is just using you to keep his marriage ticking along. “Normal” women don’t wonder if they are mistresses. “Normal” women don’t let themselves settle for a second-hand relationship with an unavailable man, nor do they need a support group to help them survive it. Simply questioning yourself, and finally realizing how desperately unhappy you are, is a strong indication that you a mistress (albeit perhaps one in denial.) So sister, you have come to the right place. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Casual Mistress versus Mistress in despair.</span> <br /><br />Mistresses who are not in love are usually in control of their 'situations,' as they tend to have an agenda as big, if not bigger, as the cheating married man. And the casual mistress can usually take it or leave it when she sees him, and, live without him (emotionally) quite easily when she doesn't see him. However, the mistress in love on the other hand, has no control over her emotions and has a problem when the MM is not around. Her life spirals out of control. In other words, true mistresses have a problem with living without the drama, the co-dependancy, and the idea of being in competition to win a man's love!! THAT IS AN ILLNESS AND MEANS YOU NEED MA. Without a program of recovery, they will tend to be “restless, irritable, and discontent,” and even if they DO get out of the affair, they will still need to continue MA meetings as part of their life, to make sure to never tread that path again by falling off the wagon, but also not to bring any of her past issues into potential new and healthy relationships. <br /><br />So ask yourself Ladies: Do you tend to have problems when you meet a married man who wants an affair with you, can you say no, or do you have a paralyzing fear when you imagine your life without him? If you’re leaning towards the second answer more than the first, then chances are good that you’re a mistress who needs urgent help. If you’ve decided that is you, please explore this website further, or contact me directly via my email, sarah@mistressesanonymous.com, and I will respond within 48 hours.<br /><br />Sisters. the the ONLY requirement for full MA membership is a desire to stop sleeping with another woman's husband. Is this you??<br /><br />Peace and hugs<br />Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-26856965670586742532012-02-13T03:28:00.000-08:002012-02-13T04:25:51.354-08:00Heartache Prevention this Valentine's Day!Sisters<br />Today is the day that a cheating married man will spoil his Mistress. The 13th February is officially Valentines Day for the Other Woman, and the night when many restaurants do their most business. Just why you choose to be with a man who can't be with you on the actual day is another blog for another time. Today its all about how not to get duped, or deceived this Valentines Day. It’s supposed to be the “Day of Love”, but is your husband cheating on you this Valentine’s Day? Is your boyfriend secretly married? <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />A few simple rules for potentially unwitting mistresses:</span> If he is married (or has a significant other) he probably won't be available on the 14th, and will give you a myriad of <span style="font-style:italic;">excellent</span> reasons why. Don't fall for them too easily or believe them without doing your due diligence. If he was telling the truth at least you have satisfied yourself. If there is a good reason why he can't take you out on the 14th, and can't call you or reply to your texts, fine, but it had better be good, otherwise you might want to dig a little deeper. <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">A few simple rules for wives who may be being cheated on</span>: If your husband is busy tonight, on the 13th February, but his reason doesn't seem watertight, or if he seems shifty today, find out why. If he says he is 'working late at the office' - call the office, not his cell. Also, if he says he has to go on a business trip, investigate that one. Does he really have to go <span style="font-style:italic;">this</span> week? Also, look for more money coming out of the bank account at this time of year too, as well as noticing if he is 'absent' both physically and emotionally. <br /><br />You may think I'm being harsh, but trust me, you don't see the massive mail bag of letters and emails I get every single day from women bemoaning the fact that they were duped by a man they thought was single, separated, divorced, or 'living apart but under the same roof.' STOP falling for this claptrap. I'm also inundated with wives who write to tell me how the 'signs were there, but they just didn't want to see them.' Wishing now they hadn't wasted so much time living in denial. <br /><br />My blogs are all about living in the truth. I know every trick, line, and lie, a married man uses to attract or keep his mistress, as well as the ones he uses to placate and manipulate a wife so that she doesn't rumble him. Don't be that Mistress, and don't be that Wife! My mission is to help women avoid the time and trauma of dating a cheat, or being married to one.<br /><br />Happy Valentines Day all. Just don't let it be a Valen-SWINES day!! <br />Peace and hugs<br />Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-58487875612387651762012-02-12T05:47:00.000-08:002012-02-12T08:34:56.470-08:00The Valentine's Day Blog!Sisters,<br />Valentine's Day is upon us, and you'll know not to expect any of the romantic drivel here that most other writers churn out. That's not because I don't believe in romance no, quite the opposite, I do. To love and be loved in a healthy honest relationship where two people have no agendas and are the best of friends and lovers is awesome. As human beings we all desire that. Sadly, many women - when they don't find or experience that - feel they have to settle, or choose a relationship with the wrong/toxic man just through fear of being alone. I know that firsthand. So, thats what this blog is about. The power of NOT settling, and the joy of being single to mingle. <br /><br />This brings me nicely to Mistresses, and my Sisters of the Mistresshood, because Valentines Day is the second to third worse day in any Mistresses calendar (after Christmas Day and New Years Eve) as it's another day of reckoning. Another day which is - for most women - a happy and special occasion, but one which is Hell for the 'Other Woman in love.' She just wants it to all be over pronto, since she won't be with the man in her life and has to stomach that another woman will be with him (i.e. his wife). She'll also be sick-to-death of all the commercialized hype geared towards men and women in normal relationships. I hope this year will be a wake-up to many women to finally stop making excuses for the man who ISN'T there! <br /><br />So then Sisters, lets empower ourselves here (and this would be powerful for my single sisters too). This Valentines Day make it a celebration of YOU. All about YOU. How much you love yourself and who you are. You are fabulous remember. The more you love yourself, the less you will let a man control you and manipulate you. And, to have a future healthy relationship with a decent guy you need to re-wire your brain for love, otherwise all you will do is repeat the same romantic script, but with a series of different players. In this case married men! <br /><br />So this Valentines Day buy <span style="font-style:italic;">yourself</span> a gift, have a hot bath with your favorite champagne, and even send yourself flowers if you want. Why? Because you're worth it. Know your WORTH. Happiness really does come from within, not from another person. <br /><br />For any of you suffering through being the Mistress this Val's Day (even though I dispense the Tough Love you all know I'm compassionate to your plight) I'll be holding a special Valentines Day Mistresses Anonymous on-line meeting on the day. Stay tuned for timings. I'd think you will all be around, as we all know that the 13th is Valentines Day for Mistresses, and the 14th is home-alone-time. Go to my website www.mistressesanonymous.com to join in the meeting, and if you really want my one-on-one help and happen to live in Vancouver or Toronto, write to me about being on my new empowerment TV show. It could be the making of YOU!<br /><br />Peace and rose petals<br />Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-46205213577438221032012-01-30T13:51:00.001-08:002012-01-30T16:40:38.698-08:00The Mistress Weekly.Hello Sisters of the Mistresshood. <br /><br />Wow what news to share. So, I have just got back from being on the road in Canada, literally on tour with my "Mistresses Anonymous" Meetings (MA). I've said it before, but I'll say it again, who KNEW there were so many cheating men in Canada, i.e., that there were so many mistresses. I met wonderful women though. Good women, who have just made some bad decisions. As i did. <br /><br />I held MA workshops in Vancouver and Toronto, but heard from 'Other Women' far wider than just those two cities. Incredible. I also heard from so many Mistresses who have children by their MMs. WOW. Thats deep. All this led me to thinking...since there is a magazine for everything else out there, why not Mistresses? I mean, there is "The Lady," "Divorce Weekly," and many many marriage and bridal magazines, why on earth not a "Mistresses Digest," or an "Infidelity Monthly?" I mean, it seems everybody is at it. Could infidelity be the new monogamous?<br /><br />In other news, I just want to say how much I applaud every woman who wrote to me, whether she came to an MA meeting or not, at least you took the first step of the MA 13-step programme, aka, - step #1 -Admit you have a problem! My new show, The Mistress, will be a success because of the wonderful women who come forward. Women who have decided they have had enough of living in the shadows, and women who finally have woken up to the fact that they ARE just helping their man's marriage survive, as he is NOT unhappily married at all (if he was, he would leave) he just wants to have his cake and eat it ("Type 2" for all those who follow this blog!).<br /><br />I felt the weight lifted off my shoulders when I found my voice after so many years. I see this in the women I am meeting and talking to too. For any Canadian Sisters of the Mistresshood interested in liberating themselves by being on my show (we premier in Canada later this year) go to www.mistressesanonymous.com or just email me at sarah@mistressesanonymous.com. I guarantee you 5 days of life-changing-empowerment, lots of fun, and a few good #13s of course!! :-) <br /><br />Stay strong you all. Remove the veil of secrecy, and come out shining like the bright light you are. <br />Peace and hugs<br />Sarah J xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-81558420767910049642011-12-29T17:20:00.000-08:002011-12-29T17:31:10.383-08:00A New Year, a New YOU!Sisters,<br />The new year is soon upon us. I hope that if you HAVE spent this Christmas as a Mistress, you'll be finally starting to wake up and smell the coffee, and hopefully be asking yourself, "Surely this can't be ALL I want from life!!" I am hearing great things from many of you who have been attending my online Mistresses Anonymous meetings, or reading my book, and I hope more of you will feel that it is time to stop being a martyr to what you 'thought was love.' I'm one of the few women in the world willing to speak out, as I understand firsthand why women stay so long, and accept so little. Accept such crumbs of a relationship. I know all about that self-sacrificial tolerance. It’s one thing to be patient and stoic, and another to be stupid. And I was stupid for well over a decade. <br /><br />Since escaping the golden handcuffs of the mistress world, the burden of my intense unhappiness has been somewhat lifted. But it took a long time. Don't leave it <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span> long Sisters. Make 2012 YOUR year. This is your life. Don't let someone else edit it as they see fit, and certainly not a cheating married man who will never be leaving his wife for you. Mind you, why would you even want him to?? A cheat will cheat on <span style="font-style:italic;">you</span> remember.<br /><br />Come to an online New Years Eve and New Years Day Mistresses Anonymous meeting. I will be posting the times on Facebook, so if we are not already friends there, then look me up. And go to www.mistressesanonymous.com to learn more, as well as log in to attend the online MA meeting. <br /><br />Happy New You, and peace to all womenkind<br />Hugs<br />Sarah J xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-31646955489913874942011-12-24T15:40:00.000-08:002011-12-24T15:55:03.482-08:00The Christmas Day online "Mistresses Anonymous Meeting"Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood<br /><br />My traditional Mistresses Anonymous meeting will be held tomorrow as follows..<br /><br />11am-noon (UK time) and then 7pm-8.30pm UK time (which will be 11am-12.30pm PST, and 2-3.30pm EST.)<br /><br />I hope this works, due to all the time zones etc, but we'll make it happen. So, pull up a chair, grab a glass of #13 (white wine, ala 'Step 13 of the MA Programme' being that you 'deserve one.'') and go to www.mistressesanonymous.com and click on the "MA online meetings" icon, choose a nickname (or use your real name, whatever you prefer) and its as simple as that. <br /><br />I will be chairing the MA meetings tomorrow from the times mentioned above, but you are all free to stay there and chat before and after I have gone remember. Its your chatroom. Your support group.<br /><br />Hope to see you all there tomorrow<br />Peace<br />Sarah J xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-66399729132181787482011-12-11T12:54:00.000-08:002011-12-11T15:16:01.222-08:00The Seasonal "F word" That Makes Mistresses Sad.Dear Sisters,<br />At this time of year the "Festive" Season is an F word that typically brings nothing but sadness and heartache for women who are living the secret life of a Mistress. Please know that if this is you I'm thinking of you one and all, and, if you <span style="font-style:italic;">are</span> a 2011 Mistress-at-Christmas, I do hope that with my help, and the help of my Mistresses Anonymous support group, this will be the last year you choose to live as one, and that the New Year will see you reclaim your life and realise you deserve better, so so much better!<br /><br />I know exactly how you feel, and can assure you I do NOT miss one single thing about being the Other Woman at this time of year (or any other time of year come to think about it.) Its ironic how a Mistress allows herself to be second best to a married man, a man who'll be having a very happy Christmas with his family, while she'll probably be lying to her family by putting on that brave face to hide the tears she is crying inside. That "happy mask" that any Mistress knows all too well. <br /><br />Most women in love with a married man hate this time of year. The forced jollity of it all. Having to watch those never-ending Christmas commercials on TV, full of beautiful happy people and normal families. Then there's those couples in love - all wrapped up in wooly jumpers and cosy scarves - laughing and kissing and showing us how much they're looking forward to spending the festive season in each other's arms by that log fire. It can be a totally depressing, frustrating, and upsetting situation, leaving the lonely Christmas-Mistress shrouded in feelings of hopelessness and misery. I know. I've been there. <br /><br />If anyone reading this knows someone living as a mistress in despair of her affair, then the best advice I can give you is to never tell her to "Cheer up." or to "Pull yourself together." No, this wouldn't help, as she KNOWS she has to, she just doesn't know quite <span style="font-style:italic;">how</span> to do it. She feels alone. And most mistresses (the single unmarried ones anyway) usually are alone on Christmas Day, and New Years Eve too. Unable to get any enjoyment out of these occasions; just waiting for it all to be over so her married lover can call and their affair can resume as normal again. <br /><br />But if this is YOU reading this Sistah, then the best advice I can give you is to join Mistresses Anonymous and attend a 13-step support group meeting asap. "MA" is the pathway to freedom and liberation. So If this whole festive season makes you feel you want to go to bed and not wake up until it is all over then Christmas is not going to be a very jolly time for you. Email me at sarah@mistressesanonymous.com for more information on how to escape this world. You'll wonder what took you so long..... <br /><br />Peace and hugs<br />Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-14177378302147930312011-11-25T04:49:00.000-08:002011-11-25T04:56:05.525-08:00It's that time of year again...Sisters, hello.<br />How are you all bearing up during this time of year? I particularly reach out to all American Sisters of the Mistress-hood at this time of the year. How many of you are still living out the secret misery of being the "Other Woman" this Thanksgiving? Being put on hold while the man you are in love with is busy with the woman he is in love with, i.e. his wife. Have the holidays been hard for you, enduring stories from friends and family about their their busy holiday time with their family, while you are all alone, perpetually alone during these festive times, as well as each and every Saturday night? Are you dating the invisible man (i.e. a married one) and have no one to celebrate with? Dreading cheerful festive gatherings which you have to attend alone? If this is you, it's time to make change once and for all. If you are in despair of your affair and want out, then come to a Mistresses Anonymous ("MA") meeting. Link attached below. If as many of you as possible can find me on Facebook it will be great, as this is the main posting place for times of MA meetings etc. You may be a Mistress this Thanksgiving, but with my help, and the support of MA, I guarantee you will be in a far better place this time NEXT year. And remember, MA is like AA, but at MA we can drink. And anyone who knows anything about the 'life of the mistress' will know she often needs to!<br /><br />http://www.livestream.com/uk2la<br /><br />Keep the faith Sisters and see you at MA soon<br />Hugs<br />Sarah J xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-64998266673302511682011-10-16T14:29:00.000-07:002011-11-01T17:10:54.121-07:00Do NOT bury your heads in the sand, Sisters!Sisters,<br />Although I haven't written my blog for a while, I've been busy hearing from many of you all with love dilemmas of one sort or another, and, it got me to thinking. Yes I am known for my work with Mistresses - who want to become EX-Mistresses - and yes I am the Founder and CEO of Mistresses Anonymous, but, since so many of you write to me with issues of trust, deceit, or confusion, about men, and many of them being men who are not actually married, it got me to thinking how the whole of the sisterhood need to embrace each other, to work towards being happy and fulfilled, not second best,duped, dumped, or humiliated. I welcome you all, whether you are Mistresses, Ex-Mistresses, Wanna-Be Mistresses (I'll soon knock THAT out of you if you are) or Single Women looking for Mr. Right who NEVER want to be duped into becoming a Mistress. That's the worst by the way!! <br /><br />Many women want to hate me, but there is no need. I am here to help. My colorful past has given me the tools to make sure YOU don't waste valuable years with the wrong man, whether he be married or just be "Mr Unavailable" in other ways. And remember, when a man cheats he is bringing his own house of cards down with one fell swoop of his penis. This business of "The Mistress is a Homewrecker" tripe is a load of rubbish. If you knew how many homes that Mistresses actually (unwittingly) KEEP together, while rotting to their very core privately, you'd think differently. <br /><br />So Ladies, we all need to do our Due Diligence on any man that walks in to our life. I am currently doing mine I can assure you. And Wives, yours should be ongoing, as a woman wrote to me here recently, to say that while she wasn't blind to the signs that her husband was cheating, she just wasn't 'looking for them.' Sadly they hit her in the face and she now knows what she could've found out ages ago. <br /><br />To my Single Sisters, a woman wrote here recently to say she'd 'thought' her new boyfriend was single until 2 years into their relationship when he went and picked up with another woman. And they weren't EVEN married yet. What a charmer. Another story that sticks in my mind is the Mistress having an affair with the 'soon-to-be-married' fiance. And the wedding of whom she which was in fact due to attend as a guest. Shame on her for being such a fool, yes, but how awful to be the bride about to walk down that aisle, about to marry a fully fledged cheat even BEFORE they took their vows.<br /><br />I read an interesting article in today's UK Daily Mail newspaper. At the end of it they listed 20 signs of how to spot a Psychopath. The first 17 of them resonated with me from many men I've known and should have run from. If they do you, then you know you need to look into your relationships right now. Whether you're a Mistress, a Wife, A Single Sister, or an engaged woman, do NOT ignore the signs, as I can assure you, if you put your head in the sand, all you get is sand in your hair!!<br /><br />Here you go. Keep the Faith and stay real. <br /><br />IS HE A PSYCHOPATH?<br /><br />1 Glibness/superficial charm<br />2 Grandiose sense of self-worth<br />3 Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom<br />4 Pathological lying<br />5 Cunning/manipulative<br />6 Lack of remorse or guilt<br />7 Shallow affect (superficial Range or depth of feelings)<br />8 Callous/lack of empathy<br />9 Parasitic lifestyle<br />10 Poor behavioural controls<br />11 Promiscuous sexual behaviour<br />12 Early behaviour problems<br />13 Lack of realistic long-term goals<br />14 Impulsiveness<br />15 Irresponsibility<br />16 Failure to accept responsibility for own actions<br />17 Many short-term relationships<br /><br />Kisses<br />Sarah J. xoSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-75261240377858710912011-09-06T04:06:00.000-07:002011-09-06T05:39:56.218-07:00Wife School: Class is in Session.Greetings from The Marriage Doctor!!<br /><br />Ladies, it's THAT time of year again. This is the time of year I call "Cheaters Season." That's right, in the infidelity yearly calendar this is officially Cheaters Season! And while there may not be a Hallmark card for it yet, I can assure you it does exist, and sadly it is here to stay. We are about to enter the season that all wives need to be aware of. From the month of September, right up to Thanksgiving and Christmas, its basically open-season for many married men who decide to cheat on their wives. Married men who feel the urge to merge with another woman. <br /><br />Many married men will be extremely frustrated after the confines of the long summer months (bless them), the chaotic summer vacations, and the forced-family-unit-time, leaving many of them seeking some adventure with another woman. After all, men need to reinstate their egos remember. Some married men will be looking forward to rekindling the affair they've had to put on hold during the summer period, knowing they need to work <span style="font-style:italic;">desperately</span> hard to make amends with their 'Other Woman.' (*Wives, here's an important Wife School Tip, watch for any money going 'missing' from the ATM account during September, as he wines and dines his Mistress to try win back her affections*). It's a fact, as the summer is the time when I hear from most mistresses, all in despair-of their-affair with a man who is on the family vacation, unable to call or see his secret lover!<br /><br />So Wives, I am here for you. You may not want to like me, but you sure need to listen to me. I have the secrets on how you can Affair-Proof your marriage (prevention is ALWAYS better than cure), as well as the REAL signs you should be looking for if <span style="font-style:italic;">your </span>husband is stepping out on you. Better to know asap and nip it in the bud/deal with it, rather than let your husband have his cake and eat it, humiliating and hurting you when the truth comes out. Infidelity makes a joke of marital vows. Don't add insult to injury by being a part of that joke and turning a blind eye. That's not why you got married!!<br /><br />Due to an overwhelming demand, I have started an organization called "Wife School" with all of you in mind. Having lived as the Other Woman for 14 years (n<span style="font-style:italic;">ot proud of that I can tell you)</span> it blows me away to see how many wives LET their husbands cheat on them - either wittingly or unwittingly. WHY??? Ladies, never allow that 'space' to creep in between you and the man you married. Never allow a space in your marriage where another woman <span style="font-style:italic;">could</span> walk in. And don't delegate your marital and wifely duties to another woman. That's just plain wrong. <br /><br />The first rule of how to Affair-Proof your marriage is to "Act more like a Mistress than a Wife." Be there for him physically, mentally and emotionally. Treat your husband like gold and you'll automatically end up getting more of what you want too. There are many many more rules and tips. For more information, or a chance to enroll at Wife School, please email me at sarah@sarahswifeschool.com. <br /><br />I urge you all to beat these cheats right out of your sheets, while enjoying being a wife at the same time. Make your husband <span style="font-style:italic;">want</span> to come home to you, rather than <span style="font-style:italic;">have</span> to come home to you. Huge difference. For everything else there's Wife School. Get your wife skills on!<br /><br />Peace<br />Sarah J. xSarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-69106403779669336602011-08-17T02:52:00.000-07:002011-08-17T02:54:55.358-07:00Summer Blues???<span style="font-weight:bold;">Sisters, for any of you 'suffering through' the long summer months, the time when your MM is away on vacation with his family, for God's sake get out!!!! Read the 13 steps of the Mistresses Anonymous programme below, and act upon them. Life is too short!! Take these 13 steps to freedom and reclaim YOU!
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<br /> The 13 Steps and traditions of the Mistresses Anonymous Program.
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<br />1. You admit you have a problem - That your life is out of control due to living as a mistress in despair of her affair.
<br />2. Fully commit to reclaiming your life from this skid row of relationships, from this toxic love and from the toxic married man.
<br />3. Set goals to stop all communication with your MM (married man) and throw away everything that reminds you of him.
<br />4. Make a list of all the things you have given up to be with your MM during the affair
<br />5. Make inventory of all the lies he has told you and the empty promises he has made to you
<br />6. Make a list of all the family and friends you have lied to and come clean to them.
<br />7. Attend MA meetings and find a sponsor to keep you strong
<br />8. Actively monitor your goals. Empower yourself. Work hard to regain your personal power, self-respect and self-esteem.
<br />9. Practice being single. Go on a date a week with a single guy
<br />10. Fully commit to NEVER allowing yourself to being second best again!
<br />11. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in misery
<br />12. Actively follow the 12 steps and share the MA message with others
<br />13. Enjoy a nice cold glass of #13 (aka Chardonnay) you deserve it.
<br />Sarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4470959016347624607.post-59945663621506515102011-08-01T23:16:00.000-07:002011-08-02T00:49:42.160-07:00Narcissism And The Cheating Married Man.Sistahs<br />I recently told you about the pathological traits a cheating married man will display, as well as officially naming the "Three Types" of cheating-married-man. Today on the Pillow Talk Blog, I'm going to alert you to the narcissistic traits of the cheating-married-man, so read closely to save yourself valueable time, and, my stellar advice would be not just to walk away from this type of man, but to run from him!! We as women often can't help falling for the smooth-tongue of the well-practised narcissist, but by the time you've learned their true colours you're hooked, and probably hurt by this "N word" of a man!!<br /><br />Promiscuity is a key behavioral sign of a narcissist, as they are always looking for the bigger better deal (BBD) - i.e. taking on a mistress or multiple sexual partners outside their marriage. And the more committed the narcissist feels his wife/partner is to him, the more willing and likely he will be to cheat. Usually because they feel they will be able to get away with it easily. (Wives, you need to come to my Wife School here, to know THE REAL signs to look for if your husband is cheating on you, as well as my proven tips on how to affair-proof your marriages.)<br /><br />Narcissists often appear as charming men, making them attractive while allowing them to get away with some unsavory antics under the veil of having such a "charismatic air" about them. Narcissists, when on the prowl for an extra-marital affair, will usually attract women who crave drama (i.e. The Mistress, or The Mistress in Training, *MIT*) as well as the woman who is a care-taker, the one who thinks she can 'fix him' and erase his negative traits. They also like to go for the hottest women they can find, because they believe such women will be insecure and therefore the most susceptible to their manipulative tactics!!<br /><br />The true narcissist will display traits such as vanity, entitlement and exploitativeness. They tend to talk loudly to emphasise their self-importance using great hand movements to back that up, and they are control freaks who tend to lose their charm when destabilized or threatened. They also like to belittle and ridicule others and they pick their vulnerable targets well. The narcissist will often argue and curse more than others, as well as using lots of sexual language. But hey, that's enough about Gordon Ramsay, the epitome of narcissism in the extreme. They also cannnot STAND criticism. This was proven to me once when I tried to gently tell Gordon that the food I had at his restuarant at the London Hotel in Hollywood was "kinda awful and the portions the size of cat food;" ....well my God did I get an ear full from him. Narcissists are insulted when told they are not brilliant. <br /><br />Narcissistic-cheating-married-men on the prowl tend to have similar male friends, often called "Wingmen," (think David Beckham in Gordon Ramsay's case) with the same short term sexual strategies, meaning they can help each other in their quest to exploit women and find their prey for affairs or one-night stands.<br /><br />So then ladies, if you are the Other Woman having an affair with a married man, the chances are he is a <span style="font-weight:bold;">prize narcissist</span>. Don't ever try to change him as he ENJOYS being one, but the more emotionally attached you get, the easier it will be for him to manipulate you, so as I first said above, don't walk, RUN!!<br />Wives, if you are married to a cheating husband, chances are you are married to the same type of <span style="font-weight:bold;">prize narcissist</span> that sends my girls over the edge and lands them at one of my Mistresses Anonymous support group meetings - proving what I always say, that wives and mistresses have so much more in common with each other than they ever realize. They are both in love with half of a married man who is lying to them, while he is getting the best out of two women. Come on ladies, wise up. Don't ever be in love with a man who loves himself more than you!<br /><br />Hugs<br />Sarah J. x<br />*This blog posting was influenced and inspired by an excellent article I read in this month's "Psychology Today" magazine.*Sarah J. Symondshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827955026666958002noreply@blogger.com41