Friday, November 12, 2010

Open Letter to Tana Ramsay

Dear Tana,

I can't help but write this open letter to you after reading Gordon's "heartfelt" interview in Saturday's Daily Mail. I had to reach out to you and offer you my support at this ghastly time, especially due to the weak individual he is trying to portray you as.

I offer you my support with much credibility Tana, as, after my affair with your husband was exposed, I've worked extremely hard to reform myself, and now, as the World's first, and only, "Infidelity Analyst," I'm able to use my intimate inside knowledge (and lessons learned by my mistakes of the heart) to help women everywhere live in the truth. I especially help wives all over the world by mentoring them on how NOT to be used and humiliated by their husbands, especially by celebrity ones who think they can have it all. So, hand on heart, I write to you here today with all good intentions, because after reading - along with the rest of the world - all that is being said about you by Gordon, and by your father, I really feel for you. I mean, it can't be easy for a woman like you to be perceived by both of them as SO weak, and so easy to manipulate. Tana, you are a successful woman, mother, and author, and represent what so many married women aspire to be. What they are saying is damaging and it's unfair of them. After all, they are the ones with the secrets, with the clearly dodgy dealings!! To me this is classic behavior of the typical narcissist; to deflect any wrong doing by immediately going on the attack, but aiming to use a weaker person in the scenario to look as though they are being the 'big man'. Yawn!

I know full well what it is like to be manipulated by bullies and powerful men with huge egos Tana, and sadly your husband featured as one of them in my life for way too long. I can now totally and absolutely see why he'd always tell me that he and your father were "so tight," as - from what is unfolding for all to see - it seems they share so MANY of the same 'qualities' (or rather, traits should I say) not least in how they are dealing with this ugly debacle for all the world to see. It is hard to even get through the interviews they are both giving, as every word is dripping with such hatred and innuendo. I guess they are both trying to be the first to expose each other and spill the dirt. Bit like kids in a playground really. Pathetic!

Tana, after the news of my affair with Gordon broke, I read in an article somewhere that you said you, "admired you mother and father greatly", and that you'd always, "wanted a marriage like they had!" I swear that is why I truly thought you stayed with Gordon when you found out he had been cheating on you with me, and with others, as I thought you were perhaps referring to the secret life your father had too. I assumed you'd perhaps been brought up in a Jimmy Goldsmith type household, where everything was out in the open.

So, to read in Gordon's interview that, "Tana still does not know everything about her father, but she is certainly getting up to speed — and that is a little scary. She knows about 90 per cent. She has been shocked. She struggled. It is a big blow. She had this perfect image of her daddy and it is not there....", then again, hand on heart, I am honestly blown away. My God, you must not know who to trust anymore, and I don't blame you!!!! It seems that both men have lied to you and manipulated you, but sadly you have let them Tana. You are way too nice, and way too good for them. I always recommend wives show more backbone at times like these. Show them what you are made of and stand up to these men. Regain some self-respect and dignity and not let your man/men treat you as a weaker individual. After all, men (whoever they are) will ONLY walk all over you IF YOU LET THEM!

Reading the interview Gordon gave to the Daily Mail was like wading through treacle. I question how a 'man' can sit there and say all those things about another man's private life, when he himself has so many skeletons in that department. Also, how can he still try to pull the wool over the eyes of the general public by pretending to be such a family man, worried about his kids and his wife etc, when he never seemed worried about them when he was with me, and doing his own thing. I find it all very bizarre, and I have to wonder if he is indeed having a breakdown, has become 'that monster,' or is perhaps on some kind of wrong medication for those pesky mood swings. Perhaps you ought to check?

When I read that he referred to you as being used as a "target" by your family when his back was turned, in order to, "try to manipulate and poison," my heart went out to you. Making you out to seem as though you have no mind of your own and could be poisoned that easily? And the kicker was, when he referred to you as, "the weak point," they all saw you as? WHAT??? God... that was low. Furthermore, he refers to you as in floods of tears and is constantly listening to you bawling your eyes out? That is hugely sexist, let alone something that is best kept private. If only Gordy would own up to his part of what drives you to these floods of tears eh Tana? Mind you, that would take integrity, so we better pass on that one.

Anyhow, I am in your corner Tana as I certainly know how hard it is to discover that people you've loved and trusted are not who you thought they were at all. It is HEARTBREAKING. Trust me, I know that feeling. And, although I don't know your mother from Adam, if she really did give you that advice about dumping Gordon, she kinda has my vote here I have to say....

Take care.
Peace and hugs
Sarah x

Monday, September 20, 2010

Dear Sisters,

One of our own needs us. I have given her some advice on an email, but she would like very much YOUR feedback, and to know if you guys have done such things. (We all have right!!). My main message to her is 'what's done is done,' and that this man pushed her to such a place of pain that she was not responsible for her actions. She became as bad as him (we all do) and at the end of the day she actually did the wife a favour by telling her. My concern is that the wife is not genuine though, and is not really divorcing him at all. Please help her by leaving some comments of encouragement below, as only you all can.

"Hello my fellow sisters -- I am in a dilemma over something I've done, and I would really appreciate your honest feedback.

After a year and a half, I anonymously contacted the soon-to-be-ex-wife of my MM (using an old email address) and told her that he was having an affair and that she should "hire an investigator because he may be bi-sexual too" (this I suspect based on insecurities he had revealed to me about himself). The wife wrote me back that "we are already divorcing" and that she "has never trusted him but couldn't prove anything" and then asked me to help her with the divorce by sending her proof. She promised to keep my identity confidential. I told her I'd think about it, and never contacted her again. She never contacted me again either.

My dilemma is this: I knew contacting her was wrong and was "bad karma" but I didn't care at the time. I just HAD to know if they were really divorcing (like he told me) and what the story was. Now that I know, I do not feel any better. I feel HORRIBLE. I am a worse betrayer than he ever was. I betrayed his "very personal insecurities" that he disclosed to me (about his "issues as a man"). And I am ashamed to say that I am more concerned about the bad karma than about any damage I did to him. Or her.

Also, what if he finds out it was me? I think I used that email with him at one time. I am not a bad person, I really am a good person, which is why I can't understand why I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did. Am I terrible? Should I tell him what I did? There's no excuse for doing that, in my opinion. Please tell me your opinions, and if you've ever felt this way or did this too.

Thank you, Sisters.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Mistresses on BBC1

The third season of the show Mistresses starts here on BBC1 next week. Sadly, I find it boring and thoroughly depressing, as it is so not true to life at all. But, with purported viewing audiences of 9m per episode, it just shows the amount of interest and intrigue in this topic. If only we could have a reality show about Mistresses. Now that would be worth watching. True life is always better than fiction...

Have a nice weekend you all.
Sarah J x

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mad Max... or not?

Dear all,
I have been following the Mel Gibson story closer than some - since his destructive and toxic relationship with this Russian broad was born of an affair - I feel I have to. But firstly, let me put on record that I do NOT condone physical violence nor racism whatsoever.

What is making me sick, is that everyone is so ready to condemn him BEFORE we know the truth, and the actual details. Let alone the proof. So far, from what I am reading, I can see that Mel is the victim of an incredibly vicious gold digger, and what she is doing to him actually shows she has a far more evil character than he does, and has major anger issues herself. She is far from a sweet little innocent victim in all this. If Mel did hit her that night, I wonder why she didn't immediately call the cops on him to protect herself, like most women would, and like we have seen most celebrity wives do (think of Charlie Sheen's wife for example). But no, this woman decided to turn the tapes over to the paparazzi rather than to the law. I mean, if this happened back in January, wouldn't she have been so worried and scared from him, that she'd be seeking a restraining order against him before now, so that he wouldn't come anywhere near her or the baby? And, because the tapes are so obviously sliced, diced, and tampered with, they will be inadmissable in court, and won't be able to be used. Therefore, if he DID hit her, he will probably go unpunished, whereas if she HAD called the cops on him, he would get a just punishment and would be made and example of for other abusive men!

As an infidelity analyst, I hear from people every day asking my advice on their relationship problems, and it's my job to try to understand human behavior, good and bad, and get to the root of why we do certain things. Mel Gibson is/was a brilliant actor, who only 6 years ago was number one on the Forbes Celebrity 100 list. When things were going well he was applauded in Hollywood, and was welcomed by the very people who are now turning their back on him. When he was making a ton of money for them things were fine and dandy, but now, when the man needs serious mental help to conquer his many demons, all he is getting is ridicule and the cold shoulder. Nice!

I don't believe that Mel is really a racist. Yes he has said some awful, offensive and hateful things, but these were said in a tsunami of rage. When you are overtaken by rage and anger you really do not know, nor care, what you are saying and doing.

If Mel was giving sober, calm interviews, and in those one on ones he was saying these hideous things, it would be different, but this man was poisoned by alcohol when he launched into most of his rants, so while it is shocking to hear, I am not surprised at all. I am not defending Mel per se, but I am standing his corner to highlight the problems of alcohol and (alleged) physical abuse in regular every day relationships, i.e. not just with Hollywood movie stars.

If Mel did actually hit this woman, we will have another conversation about it, but for now, all I can see from her side is a manipulating gold digger. She met Mel and saw an opportunity. He opened a door and she walked through it. They started an affair, so she was his mistress to begin with (hence the toxicity and the relationship not having a chance in hell from the get-go). He then left his wife for her, he gave her (AND HER SON from another man) a roof over her head, and God knows what else too. She then goes and tricks him into parenthood again (I mean, do you think he REALLY wants to be changing diapers again at 54??), he gives her $5m to produce some album she was working on, and then when things were not going her way, she riles him to a point of insanity. If I was Mel I would be angry at her too, and could think of a few worse names than the ones he used, thats for sure.

I will say though, that whatever the outcome, if Mel didn't use condoms with her due to the fact he is 'so catholic' that won't wash with me. As, part of being a good catholic is to remain faithful to your wife. Which is why I no longer practice the religion personally!

Mel Gibson and I do have one thing in common though, we have both been banned by Barbara Walters from appearing on the show "The View" ever again, both for different reasons, but both seem to involve a semblance of verbal abuse issues. More on that another time!

Sarah J. x

Monday, July 5, 2010

Al, Mel, and Tiger... What Great 'Men' LOL!

Well well well. Lots to talk about right now! Let's look at Al Gore first, and his little case of the "inconvenient truth" coming out! First of all, lets just get one thing straight, and that is, what man doesn't want a happy ending after a massage...and, if his name wasn't Al Gore, nobody would be at all interested in this story. However, all men should learn from this, as if you are the type to request "extra services," then you'd better tip her well, or expect a backlash from it all in the future.

What I would like to know is how Al, who was supposed to be busy saving the world for us, could afford the TIME to have a THREE AND A HALF hour massage?? And, moreover, did he put it on expenses? Hello?? Something is definitely not right here. I mean, I know there is not a lot to do in Portland Oregon (I know that first hand after going there many times with Mr. X, aka Ian Todd, when he was with Nike) but still.... Al? What WERE you thinking. The transcript of the alleged incident written from the woman's side is a little weird...and I think extremely fabrictaed. But, we all know there is no smoke without fire. And it seems there was definitely some global warming going on in Al Gore's pants department!! Not being a fan of Al it is such fun to watch him squirm through the details of all this! At least it took the heat off Larry David's Mrs, who had supposed to have been having an affair with Al for the past two years....

Mel Gibson. What a lovely fellow he is eh! Could one say that he has some anger issues and demons per chance? As the infidelity analyst, let me look at the bigger picture to this story. Just how BAD their relationship was for her to think of taping him in the first place(although, I was told that taping someone in CA without their consent is against the law, but still, needs must I guess!) First mistake was to bring another Gibson child into the world. Why oh why? Obviously planned by the Russian mistress, as between that kid and the one she has with ex James Bond star Timothy Dalton, she $hould be set for life. Bet Mel loved that, walking right into a new relationship that was just like the marriage he had left. Full of responsibility and child rearing. Fun Fun Fun. And, he doesn't even drink anymore...wonder how he coped. Oh well. At least we can add racist to the list of other qualities Mel Gibson has.

As for Elin Woods, she must be pleased as punch to get such a massive payout of $750million. Is that the price of humilitaion these days? Hmmm... Mind you, she will also be reeling that her silence has been bought, as just think how much she would like to spill the real beans on that pig Tiger Woods. Her book would have flown off the shelves. Hopefully if she is smart she will find a way around it. There always is one. A ghostwriter is a good start. After all, he may have bought HER silence, but he hasn't bought the silence of THE person she tells the whole story to, off the record of course :-).

Peace out

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Open letter to Rachel Uchitel

As founder of the Mistresses Anonymous Society, a 12-step program to help women wake up and "dump that married man," I have to write this open letter regards fellow sister of the mistress-hood Rachel Uchitel. I was disgusted by her interview last week on TMZ. (Here is the link incase you can stomach it

"Dear Rachel
As founder of the Mistresses Anonymous Society - which I pioneered to help women get OUT of their toxic relationships with married man - I was appalled to see your self-righteous attitude while giving a TV interview last week. Sitting there in your low cut dress, you smugly epitomized absolutely everything bad about the "other woman" that I have worked so hard to eradicate. As you languished there with your deep (fake) suntan, white teeth, off the shoulder number, and acrylic nails, it was clear to see where Tiger's money is being well spent, and that's fine, but sadly you represented the stereotypical "hot-to-trot-whore look" that people always want to label the other woman with. So well done. Good job. You just made life a whole lot harder for the rest of us, and you played right into everybody's hands. Namely the media.

Having been extremely vocal about my own affairs (and there is STILL much more to come) I do get that you want to voice your side of the story, truly I do, but when will you start assuming some responsibility yourself eh Rachel? When will you start to accept the part you played in all this too? Yes I am sure these men told you many lies, and while we know that nobody FORCED any of them to sleep with you, it was their choice, trust me love, however hot you may think you look, if you had said no, they would have surely found someone else to sleep with. Married men who want to cheat always find a way.

I have far more respect for Tiger's other women than you. At least they seem to own their own truth. They know who they are, like we all should, and are not afraid to say it. I hope if I ever see you on TV again, you will have adopted a more caring and contrite attitude. If you need some help with that, come to one of my Mistresses Anonymous meetings. A tip though, come in disguise, as you're not very popular right now. Not even with your fraternity!"

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Extortion my foot!

Gotta love ole Marty Singer eh. It's ok for his clients to put their penises in women who are not their wives/partners but better watch out if the other woman wants something too LOL

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Calling all LA Mistresses

I will be holding a live Mistresses Anonymous meeting in LA, mid of next week, and would love to invite my real-life LA Sisters of the Mistress-hood to come along. Are you out there? Feeling blue and frustrated at being in love with a married man?

Email me to and tell me your story, and I can send you more details about the meeting.

In the meantime, here is a link to the online Mistresses Anonymous meetings I hold every night.

Hope to hear from you
Sarah J. x

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Tiger's balls, the gift that keeps on giving!


Just when it couldn't get any more nauseating, we read that Tiger's 'other women' count hit the grand total of 15 this week! Since he only admitted to three, it will be interesting to see him deal with all these others.

I am getting bored with the whole Tiger story now, like many of you must be too. For me, the shock and awe factor has gone, and now it's more the gross factor. Gross because of the blatantly false and deceptive life he was living. Did he REALLY think he would never be caught? I mean, come ON!!! I wonder how much more humiliation Elin can take. She must hate the sight of him right now, as do many many other people I am sure! She was literally sleeping with the enemy, as poor Sister Sandra was.

As for The Masters next month, I think they ought to rename it, "The Masturbators," to make Tiger feel at home. I mean, especially since he is not allowed to have any other women on the side right now, it must be very stressful for him. *rolls eyes*

Keep the faith you all, and hope to see many of you in MA.
Sarah J.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

This week's current affairs.

Well what a week for infidelity, and, it's not over yet! First we have the Tiger Woods show! I mean, Tiger's balls are the gift that just KEEPS on giving. In fact, it is getting so hilarious that it ought to be a Broadway Musical soon. Another porn star has come out to say that she was polishing his putter, and, over the course of more than two years at that!

Expect to hear much more from her, a hottie called Devon James, as she spills the beans on what really happened, and good for her. I mean, at the end of the day, the deed is done, so why protect him? The world should know what an a$$hole and a liar Tiger really is (doesn't make him a bad person mind you, but lets at least live in the truth.) Did he think he was going to just waltz back into the game of golf like nothing had happened? Trying to 'make amends' (LOL) as well as fake, insincere, speeches along the way?!

I read in the New York Daily News that Tiger told Devon that his wife 'didn't much feel like sex.' Maybe he should have added, 'WITH him!' Perhaps she was worried she might catch something. And remember, there are always two sides to every story, and in an affair there are THREE sides.

Jesse James has been proven a prize pig, especially with the latest news that he settled a sexual harassment case, with one of his former employees 3 years ago, for $700,000!! You don't pay that kind of money if you aint guilty eh! And, Sandra Sister, what WERE you thinking when you got hitched to him? Ugh!!

Now to the best story of the week, the wife who sued the mistress for $9m. LMAO at that one. Even the husband had to concede that his marriage did not break-up because of his mistress! What it has done though, is given me the idea that mistresses should consider suing the wayward husband (and the wife, if she is guilty of pushing the husband away!) I mean, so many wonderful women get duped by married men (some who pretend they are actually single or at least separated) and then lose everything, financially, mentally and emotionally, all through being involved with these lying, cheating, egotistical con-men! Now there's a case if ever I heard one. Excuse me, I'm off to call Gloria Allred!

To be continued...
Sarah J x

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Jesse, you shouldn’t dip your pen in the company ink!

Was anyone really surprised to hear that the James/Bullock marriage was on the rocks, or just surprised that they actually made it to five years! Puh-lee-zee. Considering they first met on the set of the movie “Monsters Ball,” maybe it should have been a warning for Sandra Bullock. As, since becoming the “Monsters Bride,” she no doubt feels like she’s in her own horror movie, the one where she ends up married to a dopey tattooed moron who runs off with a gothic-looking woman heavily tattooed from head to foot, including forehead and nipples.

As the world’s only Infidelity Analyst, I wasn’t shocked at all - surprised for a New York minute maybe - but not shocked. Never shocked. Lets look at the facts here. When Sandra and Jesse met it would have been a novelty for both of them. Cutesy girl-next –door-type falls for bad-boy tattooed biker, one albeit with a seemingly gentle side (either that, or he’s just a little retarded) and in turn, said bad-boy feels validated by winning the affections of a wealthy, independent, attractive and ‘together’ actress. She represented the complete opposite of the life and the wife he had previously known. In short, he traded up to ‘normal’ and sadly she traded down. (Although, he’s been dubbed the “Vanilla Gorilla” by his mistress, for his prowess in the bedroom department, so, he must be doing something right to make up for any short-comings so to speak!)

Sandra was the big four-o at the time of meeting Jesse, five years older than his thirty-five years. She was unmarried, single and childless. Jesse was in the midst of dealing with the trauma of having an out of control, heavily tattooed, ex-porn star ex-wife – Janine Lindemulder - who was incarcerated for drug abuse, leaving him as a single parent. No doubt he was at a low-ebb at the time, his self-esteem taking a battering when being left to juggle child duties and court cases on his own. (Note to readers, nobody FORCED him to marry her, nor have a child with her.)

So in the beginning we had a new movie plot in the making: This time one of romance and redemption. Enter the protagonist, the Nation’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock, who, does certainly seem to have a way with her, always playing the role of a strong willed woman who ‘gets the job done’ in movies such as, “The Proposal”, “2 weeks notice” and of course, her latest blockbuster “Blind Side.” (I’m leaving out the whole “Miss Congeniality” debacle for the sake of her and this article). Our Sandra probably took pity on Jesse and offered up her toned shoulders for him to cry on, while selflessly offering to help him with his daughter too. What single father wouldn’t want that support! (Plus, didn’t he get a reality show out of it all? *rolls eyes*)

They were both needy for love and affection, and while she saw him as her ticket out of single-dom, he saw her as his life-raft to winning his child custody battle. I mean, how would the women who look like his ex, and his alleged mistress, have shaped up in the court hearings while he was trying to curry flavor with the child authorities. Should he have rolled up with a busty ‘inked woman’ on his arm, or the well-dressed and articulate Sandra Bullock? Tough one that, but we all know which one the judge would have favored, and so did cunning Papa Jesse. If Sandra showed up and believed in Jesse and his fatherly skills, I’m sure that had a bearing on the judge too. Hell, she even wrote a letter to the courts to vouch for Jesse (we have to assume that writing is not high on Jesse’s list.) Thus, with Sandra’s help Jesse did win custody of his daughter. But Jesse being a typical man, used her kindness to his advantage when it suited him – then did the dirty on her when he got bored.

Opposites do attract, but as with most novelties, they tend to wear off. There was a reason Jesse James’ ex-wife looks how she does... he married her because that’s how he likes them, and, if the latest stories are to be believed, then that’s how he still likes them. He has a thing for extreme women with tattoos; from his first wife to his alleged mistress. Him marrying Sandra was like “Pink” marrying Harry Potter, or “Travis” settling down with Reese Witherspoon. It’s just plain wrong.

Sandra and Jesse were a very odd match from the start, but, we all quietly wished her well, as you could see she was gushing at actually finding herself a man, as if she’d won some big prize, baggage and all, but, since he’d always seemed the ‘docile type of bad-boy’ (either that, or again, he’s simply a little retarded or partial to the odd drug or two) we gave her a pass.

Any woman will tell you that it’s hard to compete with an ex-wife or girlfriend/partner, especially if they have a child together, but here was poor Sandra competing with a wild ex-porn star, who was so wild she had it stamped all over her body. I felt pity for Sandra from the beginning, as come on, any new wife with a pulse couldn’t help but think about how hot and wild the sex must have been between these two, and then to be bringing up this woman’s kid too? Surely Sandra must have felt a little, well, errr, plain at times? I was always expecting ‘Sandy’ to break out and shock us all one day. For us to see a new Sandy with edgy hair, a few sharp tattoos and some skin-tight leathers. Alas, it never happened. She stayed the girl next door. Sadly that gets a little old when you are in your mid-forties!

The world of tattoos is pretty much alien to most of us, especially this extreme world where they wear them like a second skin. It seems like an underworld, a dark and intriguing sexually fascinating place that only members are allowed into. It almost holds a morbid fascination to a deviant unknown society. I myself am partial to the odd tattoo (on a man) and was recently with a guy who, when he took his shirt off, had a large tattoo on his chest (don’t ask me why he was taking his shirt off) and I have to say, it was a wonderful surprise!!!

It’s a well-known fact that most people who choose to maim their bodies with ink are usually angry at the world in some way. Thus, they naturally gravitate toward others of the same mind-set. They want someone who can ‘appreciate their art.’ Sandra was hardly in that league, and, since the apple never falls far from the tree, it looks like Jesse never gave up craving ‘his type.’ So, what started out as a novelty relationship with a conservative woman (and an instant mother-figure for his child) has now run its course for Jesse! Exit Sandra.

Women really need to learn a lesson from this, because our ‘Sister Sandra’ epitomizes women who marry men and hope to change them or fix them. She is the poster-wife for women who marry bad-boys thinking they can tame him. Well, breaking news ladies, generally bad boys stay bad. When you marry a bad-boy he comes with all the trappings of a bad boy. He may toe the line for a while, but simmering under the tattooed surface is his desire to be bad again, and, it always rears its ugly head in the end, trust me. And, as she was busy trying to change him, he would have been feeling suffocated and trapped. Men hate THAT. Women, wake up to that fact, please!

On top of the obvious physical differences between them, lets look at their lifestyles. Sandra Bullock is on the road a lot. Sandra is busy being Sandra, especially this year working very hard on the brilliant true story Blind Side. But, while that was her passion and her ‘baby’ it would have left poor needy Jesse James out in the cold. Maybe he was tired of the world having a piece of his wife, but not him. Maybe even jealous of all the attention she was getting too. I mean, who was satisfying his emotional needs and stroking his ego? He’s only human after all. The same thing happened with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. While she was busy investing her emotions into shooting the “Sex and the City” movie, making it the biggest thing in her life, her husband was undoubtedly starving for attention and affection and found both with a younger woman (allegedly), investing his emotions (amongst other things) into her! Men are always going to cheat if the opportunity arises, especially those who feel they are in competition with their wives, and especially those who feel they are in competition with the world for their wife’s affections.

When men get married they do so because they want to come home to someone. They simply want to eat, sleep and fornicate. When their other half is not there, but the affections of one of your inked tribe are at hand, I can see how Jesse could have been swayed. Men want their wives around, and women need to be around to quell their husband’s roving eye!!

I don’t doubt that Jesse loves and cares for Sandra, however, he was trying to be something he is not. Conservative! It seems that he has changed but she has stayed the same. Men need variety. That does not make it right when they cheat, nor do they all actually act on their impulses and desires, but often when they do it is because they need something new, or in Jesse’s case, something old, something attached to his old life.

I KNEW there was something a little off when watching Jesse at the Oscars. He not only seemed sheepish, as he gushed about his love for his wife and her achievements, but he also seemed emasculated. I mean here was Jesse James stuffed into a black dinner suit quietly watching his wife get all the glory. You could feel his pain of wanting to escape. Wanting to burst out of that suit like the hulk and jump into his leather pants and cropped t-shirt, blasting us his tattoos as he sped off on his Harley while giving us the finger. But no, he had become “Mrs. Sandra Bullock,” (yep, she couldn’t even take his surname. Why? – did she know it was a temporary thing I wonder).

Now to Sandra, and come on, I have to say, I’m sorry, but she looked so ‘homely’ at the Oscars; So very prim and proper with that perfectly sleeked down boring hair. That very forgettable pale lacy dress, and that acutely ageing blood-red lipstick! She looked 55 not 45!!! Women get real. If and when you decide to take on a bad-boy, God forbid marry him, you have to up your game. You have to live on the wild side a little. Yes, go get that tattoo. Go do something funky with your hair. Invest in some ripped clothes. Do something, otherwise it’s gonna get real old, real soon. Prevention is better than cure you know!

So lets not start going around saying, “How could he?” And, wow, “Who would cheat on Sandra, she has it all” – that’s rubbish. Nobody has it all, and, lust and love are simply in the eye of the beholder. Men are dogs, that’s a given, but she has to take some responsibility as she married a bad boy, she takes the consequences.

The irony of this whole story is that less than two weeks ago, Sandra Bullock had the world at her feet. She had finally won the biggest award in the movie world. Her stock worth had gone through the roof. But, and I hate to knock her when she’s down, while I do think she was great in Blind Side, I have to wonder if the Oscar was awarded her purely on her acting merit, or because it was such an inspiring feel-good movie, full of stero-typical American racial guilt, assuring it got the politically correct academy vote.

Either way, the ending of her own story is sad, because although Sandy won an Oscar, that has now been overshadowed by how and why her husband cheated on her. Oh and boy how he did. Reports are that he wooed the tattooed she-devil at his bike shop, aptly called “West Coast Choppers.” My advice to Jesse would be to keep his (by all accounts rather large) chopper in his pants from now on, as what happens in the bike shop obviously doesn’t seem to stay in the bike shop!

Throughout award season we had watched her drone on relentlessly about how wonderful her husband was, and he in turn singing her praises with mutual adorations. No wonder he looked like a deer in the Harley headlights at times. He knew the guilty pleasures he was hiding, and no doubt suspected them to be exposed soon after. They always are!

While the Oscar probably meant the world to Sandra at the time, it will have now paled into insignificance, with extra salt being administered into the gaping tinseltown wound by the fact that the most coveted movie award in the world is named after a man!!

As for Jesse James, after the hurt and humiliation he has caused America’s favorite girl- next-door, he probably really IS an outlaw and a WANTED MAN right now! He would do well to follow in the footsteps of his distant relative of same name, and, get the hell out of town!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

More Current Affairs....

So, Tiger is going back to golf, *yawn*. Charlie Sheen pleads "Not Guilty" (LOL). Kate Winslett and Sam Mendes break up amicably (translation: there are others involved) and now the lovely Reille Hunter is getting her kit off for GQ magazine....

Watch this space to see how the week develops at Pillow Talk the Headquarters of Infidelity...

Sarah J.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Tana Ramsay is crowned "Mum of the Year"

I wanted to be one of the first to congratulate Mrs. Ramsay on becoming 'Mum of the Year' for Tesco. I guess thats her grocery bill taken care of for a while. Hopefully Tesco is her preferred range, as it will be a little off-centre if she is a Sainsburys or Asda shopper.

Truly though, I think it is utterly commendable to be able to achieve such a lofty status while battling the story of my affair with her husband, as well as the others who have come out since. All this while famously following him around the world, sticking faithfully by his side *translation: glued to his side to make sure he doesn't cheat, again.*

Not only spending so much time away from the kids while traveling with him, she also managed to fit in a grueling training schedule of learning to skate for the show, "Dancing on Ice," (as well as fitting into those grueling outfits too) all of which must have taken her away from home for long periods of time I am sure.

This just goes to show that today's modern mother does not have to be chained to the kitchen sink, nor always be present on the constant school run, as I guess when you are married to a philandering wealthy husband you have people to do that for you. So again congratulations to Mrs. Ramsay, as you sure don't get much help from that husband of yours, and, you have just made many mothers out there feel less inadequate when they don't get to spend as much time with their children as they would like, many times being due to juggling more than one job just to survive and pay the bills.

Will there ever be a crowning of 'Mistress of the Year,' I wonder? Thankfully I would now be out of the running for that title if there was, but I know a few women who would like to be considered, although I'm sure they'd like a little sexier brand than Tesco to be honest! Watch this space....

Sarah J. x

Friday, February 26, 2010

Come clean Mr. Sheen....

Watch this space, something very sleazy is about to break about ole Charlie Sheen. It's to do with a 'substance' and....something else!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Ramsay's Roasted!

Interesting article, from Gordon Ramsay's mentor, but I could have told you this years ago. Here is a little story, which I was actually saving for my tell-all book I'm writing, but this is too good an opportunity to pass up.

I could have told you years ago that the Ramsay food brand was going downhill, especially after I had the misfortune to dine at his then restaurant, at the "London Hotel" on Sunset Boulevard in LA. I was dining with a friend at the time, and thank goodness they picked up the bill not me, as it was basically around $280 for what looked and tasted like cat food. Actually - that is NOT fair to cat food, as I know there are some very very tasty meals out there for cats, to which, much thought and effort is placed into the recipes, but still, I think you will get my point. I was rather embarrassed for Gordy at the time, as the friend was as appalled by the food, the price, the miniscule portions (for the prices being charged) and the VERY slow service, as I was.

Being close to Gordy, I was in a bit of a dilemma about what to do. I had told him I was going there, so hence, when he asked me what I'd thought about the experience, I tried to gently tell him that I thought he should make a flying visit to LA pronto, in order to check on the standard of his food, as it was so NOT up to scratch (another feline reference?). I really tried to do this as any concerned friend (who happened to be sleeping with him) would, as obviously nobody can be EVERYWHERE all of the time (he was busy jetting off to Paris and New York to open other new restaurants: both have now been taken over too actually. Pass the cream?) and I thought his staff at his new LA restaurant were taking the p*** and, he wasn't there to see it happening. Having spent a career in hotel sales, marketing and PR, I tend to know what's what!

Well if I did. What did I get in return?? A F******ing tirade that's what. Wow, does that man ever not like to be criticized. He was blue with anger down the phone to me from London, and I was so glad it was purely phone rage and that I hadn't dared to utter concerns and criticism in person I can tell you! I'd have never heard the end of it! He told me I was being ridiculous, and how he was getting rave reviews, and how it was packed every night. LOL dear, since it has now been bought back after such poor trading, I think it was you being ridiculous, not me! :-)

What was the result? He insisted on sending me back there a couple of months later, with friends and family, for a complimentary meal "on him." So I set out with my mum and my best friend to try it all over again. I'm not just saying this to be churlish, but it really was as bad as the first time, if not moreso. The food was tasteless and came in the tiniest portions you have ever seen. I know we were in LA and all that, but I have seen more food in a tin of Whiskas than on any of the plates that graced our table. Not only that, we were there HOURS. Waiting while the cat food was being prepared and delivered in a performance worthy of a broadway musical. There were definitely more staff than customers in his restaurant that night. And most of them were just standing around lazily, and probably the reason why our food took soooo long. To be honest, we couldn't wait to get home and make ourselves something to eat. We were all famished.

His restaurant at The London Hotel has since been bought back by the hotel - in both LA and New York - so, maybe Gordon should have taken heed of a concerned friend's critique early on, back in the day. Oh well. The ONLY good thing about my second trip to his restaurant in LA was that it was, "on him," and so we didn't have to pay good money for bad food!

The next day when he called me (he was by then in LA with the family, as it was their family summer holiday time) to anxiously and breathlessly find out how our visit to his restaurant went, I did something I don't do very often. I decided to be economical with the truth. It was easier for me to tell him what he wanted to hear, i.e. - that we had a great experience, and to praise him and stroke his ego, rather then tell him the truth and risk getting a right lambasting in return! To be honest I was too scared to tell him the truth. Even when he spoke to my mum on the phone, she too abstained from the true picture after the treatment I'd told her I'd had last time, choosing to simply "thank him for the gesture." *SORRY Mum that you had to go through that!!

There you go though, the truth is out now, and they do say that revenge is a dish best served cold, but, come to think of it, I don't think I've ever had a hot one at his restaurant!

Sarah J. x

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Current Affairs...

Well, what a week it has been in infidelity land. Rumors abound that Brad has finally left Angelina (oh, tell me it isn't so!! *rolls eyes*), John Terry - Captain of the English Football squad - is sacked for playing away with a friends ex, as well as up to five others coming out of the woodwork who he has 'paid off' to keep their silence. Then, there is poor ole Tiger quitting sex rehab early - maybe he wasn't making any progress? Or, fell off the wagon with one of the nurses? Who knows. On top of that, shamed Governor Sanford's ex-wife, Jenny, has written a tell all book about him (quite a read from the extracts I have seen) and what a piece of work he was. It went on sale this weekend. Oh, and then there is the John Edwards and Reille Hunter sex tape up for grabs (ugh, imagine having to watch THAT!)

Respect though to Jenny Sanford and Elizabeth Edwards, as, unusually for a wife, they actually DID leave their cheating husbands, even after 30 plus years of marriage together. At least they made a stand and refused to be humiliated any longer. Bravo and kudos to them both!
John Terry's wife left him, but, only to fly to sun-drenched Dubai to 'recover' in a five star hotel before announcing she'd be taking him back. Tiger's wife seems to be 'sticking by him' (and Nike!). Do I hear 'ker-ching' anyone! *Insert yawn here sisters.*

Lets see what this week brings in the world of current affairs. As the world's first, and only, Infidelity Analyst, I will be sure to keep you posted.

Sarah J. x

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Dear all,
It increasingly seems that these days, "revenge" is becoming the "new nice!" Maybe Hallmark should even think about printing a line in revenge cards? I'm sure they'd fly off the shelves - especially at Valentines Day. (Why am I thinking this would make a good episode of Sex and the City BTW?).

From Bernie Madoff's (alleged) mistress writing a book to tell us how small his trouser assets were, ewww...and eeeek.....(but is anyone shocked to hear that? Big ego small parts etc) to John Edward's ex-aide -Andrew Young - releasing a book on what really happened, to YaVaughnie Wilkins, the Mistress of Time Square. We have to wonder what the next revenge story will be.

I'm always surprised that people get so shocked when a woman wants to exact revenge on an ex-lover who used to have all the control in their relationship. Especially if they consider themselves to have been nice, patient women throughout. They naturally feel vengeful. If you love deeply it's just common sense that you grieve deeply too, especially if you have been duped or dumped (God forbid BOTH!!!) and the love you thought you had was proven to mean nothing at all to the other person.

Sometimes the best form of revenge is just simply to make the truth known. As Mistress Wilkins did last week. You want to try and get even with the person who has hurt you and humiliated you so much! When women write to me to ask me if I think they ought to take revenge on a married man, the most typical remedy they want me to endorse being 'should they call the wife,' I never advise them what to do for obvious reasons. What I do say though, is that only you know what you need to do in order to deal with the intense pain you are feeling, to have closure and to move on, but I always remind them to think about their tomorrows too. I personally think it best to somehow get even, get over it, and get on with your life! And on that note, check out this piece on just that in today's Sydney Morning Herald. Bet there will be some splutters over tea and toast in some households down under this morning :-)

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Mistress of Times Square!

Well well well. Revenge definitely is a dish best served cold, or, in this case, a billboard 'erected' in chilly Times Square, New York. I personally have just one word for it. Genius!!

Any and all of my sisters of the mistress-hood will know exactly what drove our "Sister YaVaughnie" to do this, and most of us are applauding her for it in droves. If we'd had the resources we may also have resorted to similar action. Man, I would have been all over Manhatten!!!! In fact, this has got my juices going, and I'm currently looking for a sponsor to help me put up a billboard in Times Square too; it would say, "Come on Gordon, be a man and own up to your shortcomings. Admit to our affair of 7 years!!"
(For the record, he too referred to me as his soul mate. Oh the irony. *rolls eyes*).

This incident should warn all MMs out there that unless they keep their mistress happy, things like this will be all too common, as hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and, you can triple that if it's a mistress scorned!

Sister YaVaughnie, if you are reading this, please come join us at an MA meeting soon. You are our hero right now and have been the talk of my Mistresses Anonymous meetings all weekend. Your story just highlights the level of hurt many women suffer at the hands of a deceitful married man, and the level of revenge it can lead them to ultimately wanting to exact.

Unless one has ever been in the husband-mistress-wife triangle they can never ever know how toxic it really is, and therefore should not be so quick to judge. For those ignorant enough to want to, we know you will anyway. My last thought on this topic is, I'll bet these ads were sponsored by a Republican :-)

Sarah J. x

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Relationships are as good as YOU make them!

Hi ALL......
With so many of you writing to ask me dating advice and relationship questions these days, I've decided to step-up the "Pillow Talk" blog a notch, so as to include EVERYONE, not just those suffering the effects of infidelity/those who want to know how to spot if their partners are cheating on them.

Being a reformed hell-raiser myself, I'm working hard on my own relationships, and I certainly know what NOT to do anymore, that's for sure! It seems these days though, we are all so busy trying to be "equal" with our partners, that many of us have lost the feminine qualities men look for. You only need to watch an episode of "Mad Men" to see what I mean. Men want to meet the woman of their dreams, not the bitch of their nightmares. Be that woman of his dreams.

Ladies, write to me if you want to know how to keep your boyfriend/husband/partner happy. It really is quite simple you know, I call it the "ESF Rule." More on that later, as well as tips on how to be the best woman you can - from the inside out, as that really IS what will eliminate the need for your other half to stray, you know. (That, as well as not nagging him so much of course :-).

Having had the privilege of working with so many of you, helping you get out of your dysfunctional relationships, and into healthy ones, I've had a lot of experience with it all, especially over the past year. Who knows, maybe I'll even start the "Pillow Talk Dating Agency" soon, the way it's going, as SO many of you tell me it's hard to meet decent single men and women these days! (Could I join my own agency? LOL)

Send me your relationship questions by leaving a comment on this blog. No problem too big or too small here at Pillow Talk. I'm here to inspire you all to live your best lives.

Come on, what are you waiting for? It's a new year. Make it the best one of your life!! Out with the old ways of behavior - if they are not working - and in with the new. Stop "settling" for your lot. Relationships should be a joy, not a burden remember!!

Sarah J. x

Monday, January 11, 2010

"Oh Come All Ye Unfaithful!"

Dear all,
I would normally just say "Dear Sisters" as you know, but, it has come to my attention that many men read my blog these days too. Men who are either of the "cheating married man variety," or the "Other Man" having an affair with a married woman, or just guys who seek my relationship advice on issues in their relationships with their girlfriends (and sometimes even their boyfriends!!)

So, things are getting busy here at Infidelity HQ. Especially with the latest affair scandal to rock the political world in the UK; that of the Ireland's First Minister's wife - Mrs. Iris Robinson - who was having an affair with a boy of nineteen years old, while she was nearly sixty!! (yes you did read that right!!). To add to the ick factor, it is alleged she had up to three more affairs (well there is never just one is there) one of them being with the 19 year old's late father........Ugh!! With both Mr and Mrs Robinson having 'stepped down' now, things are pretty stormy over at Stormont to say the least!

As the world's only Infidelity Analyst, I'm being asked to comment on that story daily, but I will always have time for my sisters and our daily Mistresses Anonymous chapter group meetings...
As usual, they start daily at 5.30pm EST and here is the link to attend.

MA is like AA, it will help you end your addiction to a toxic part of your life (i.e. a relationship with a married/unavailable person). It is complimentary to attend, and liberating to be with others in your situation. All this from the comfort of your own home. Oh, and if you are going through a bad time, at least at "MA" you can have a drink :-)

See you later
Sarah J. x

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year, Happy New You!

Dear sisters

A very happy new year to you all. I have heard from so so many of you during the holidays, and have helped a good few of you get out of your affairs. Isn't it wonderful to feel free of a married man, and the counterfeit happiness we once thought was real? I am so happy to have helped so many of you.

I do hope that for any current mistresses who were sad and lonely over the holidays (while your MM was quite the opposite, no doubt) that you will remember those feelings and use them as the catalyst to get out of this dead-end situation you are in, and realize that you deserve so much more!

Lastly, a note for the couple of ignorant men who left comments on my blog, after hearing me on a radio show; you are right, I shan't post them, as you are both too ignorant to have listened properly. If you had, you would have realized I am not being hypocritical at all, as I am no longer with a married man, nor do I ever plan to be again. So yes, when I put them down, I really do mean it, as being with a married man was the biggest waste of time I ever spent. Reading your comments to me came a very close second!

Peace sisters and see you at MA very soon!

Sarah J. x