Monday, September 20, 2010

Dear Sisters,

One of our own needs us. I have given her some advice on an email, but she would like very much YOUR feedback, and to know if you guys have done such things. (We all have right!!). My main message to her is 'what's done is done,' and that this man pushed her to such a place of pain that she was not responsible for her actions. She became as bad as him (we all do) and at the end of the day she actually did the wife a favour by telling her. My concern is that the wife is not genuine though, and is not really divorcing him at all. Please help her by leaving some comments of encouragement below, as only you all can.

"Hello my fellow sisters -- I am in a dilemma over something I've done, and I would really appreciate your honest feedback.

After a year and a half, I anonymously contacted the soon-to-be-ex-wife of my MM (using an old email address) and told her that he was having an affair and that she should "hire an investigator because he may be bi-sexual too" (this I suspect based on insecurities he had revealed to me about himself). The wife wrote me back that "we are already divorcing" and that she "has never trusted him but couldn't prove anything" and then asked me to help her with the divorce by sending her proof. She promised to keep my identity confidential. I told her I'd think about it, and never contacted her again. She never contacted me again either.

My dilemma is this: I knew contacting her was wrong and was "bad karma" but I didn't care at the time. I just HAD to know if they were really divorcing (like he told me) and what the story was. Now that I know, I do not feel any better. I feel HORRIBLE. I am a worse betrayer than he ever was. I betrayed his "very personal insecurities" that he disclosed to me (about his "issues as a man"). And I am ashamed to say that I am more concerned about the bad karma than about any damage I did to him. Or her.

Also, what if he finds out it was me? I think I used that email with him at one time. I am not a bad person, I really am a good person, which is why I can't understand why I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did. Am I terrible? Should I tell him what I did? There's no excuse for doing that, in my opinion. Please tell me your opinions, and if you've ever felt this way or did this too.

Thank you, Sisters.