Thursday, December 29, 2011

A New Year, a New YOU!

The new year is soon upon us. I hope that if you HAVE spent this Christmas as a Mistress, you'll be finally starting to wake up and smell the coffee, and hopefully be asking yourself, "Surely this can't be ALL I want from life!!" I am hearing great things from many of you who have been attending my online Mistresses Anonymous meetings, or reading my book, and I hope more of you will feel that it is time to stop being a martyr to what you 'thought was love.' I'm one of the few women in the world willing to speak out, as I understand firsthand why women stay so long, and accept so little. Accept such crumbs of a relationship. I know all about that self-sacrificial tolerance. It’s one thing to be patient and stoic, and another to be stupid. And I was stupid for well over a decade.

Since escaping the golden handcuffs of the mistress world, the burden of my intense unhappiness has been somewhat lifted. But it took a long time. Don't leave it that long Sisters. Make 2012 YOUR year. This is your life. Don't let someone else edit it as they see fit, and certainly not a cheating married man who will never be leaving his wife for you. Mind you, why would you even want him to?? A cheat will cheat on you remember.

Come to an online New Years Eve and New Years Day Mistresses Anonymous meeting. I will be posting the times on Facebook, so if we are not already friends there, then look me up. And go to to learn more, as well as log in to attend the online MA meeting.

Happy New You, and peace to all womenkind
Sarah J xo

Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Christmas Day online "Mistresses Anonymous Meeting"

Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood

My traditional Mistresses Anonymous meeting will be held tomorrow as follows..

11am-noon (UK time) and then 7pm-8.30pm UK time (which will be 11am-12.30pm PST, and 2-3.30pm EST.)

I hope this works, due to all the time zones etc, but we'll make it happen. So, pull up a chair, grab a glass of #13 (white wine, ala 'Step 13 of the MA Programme' being that you 'deserve one.'') and go to and click on the "MA online meetings" icon, choose a nickname (or use your real name, whatever you prefer) and its as simple as that.

I will be chairing the MA meetings tomorrow from the times mentioned above, but you are all free to stay there and chat before and after I have gone remember. Its your chatroom. Your support group.

Hope to see you all there tomorrow
Sarah J xo

Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Seasonal "F word" That Makes Mistresses Sad.

Dear Sisters,
At this time of year the "Festive" Season is an F word that typically brings nothing but sadness and heartache for women who are living the secret life of a Mistress. Please know that if this is you I'm thinking of you one and all, and, if you are a 2011 Mistress-at-Christmas, I do hope that with my help, and the help of my Mistresses Anonymous support group, this will be the last year you choose to live as one, and that the New Year will see you reclaim your life and realise you deserve better, so so much better!

I know exactly how you feel, and can assure you I do NOT miss one single thing about being the Other Woman at this time of year (or any other time of year come to think about it.) Its ironic how a Mistress allows herself to be second best to a married man, a man who'll be having a very happy Christmas with his family, while she'll probably be lying to her family by putting on that brave face to hide the tears she is crying inside. That "happy mask" that any Mistress knows all too well.

Most women in love with a married man hate this time of year. The forced jollity of it all. Having to watch those never-ending Christmas commercials on TV, full of beautiful happy people and normal families. Then there's those couples in love - all wrapped up in wooly jumpers and cosy scarves - laughing and kissing and showing us how much they're looking forward to spending the festive season in each other's arms by that log fire. It can be a totally depressing, frustrating, and upsetting situation, leaving the lonely Christmas-Mistress shrouded in feelings of hopelessness and misery. I know. I've been there.

If anyone reading this knows someone living as a mistress in despair of her affair, then the best advice I can give you is to never tell her to "Cheer up." or to "Pull yourself together." No, this wouldn't help, as she KNOWS she has to, she just doesn't know quite how to do it. She feels alone. And most mistresses (the single unmarried ones anyway) usually are alone on Christmas Day, and New Years Eve too. Unable to get any enjoyment out of these occasions; just waiting for it all to be over so her married lover can call and their affair can resume as normal again.

But if this is YOU reading this Sistah, then the best advice I can give you is to join Mistresses Anonymous and attend a 13-step support group meeting asap. "MA" is the pathway to freedom and liberation. So If this whole festive season makes you feel you want to go to bed and not wake up until it is all over then Christmas is not going to be a very jolly time for you. Email me at for more information on how to escape this world. You'll wonder what took you so long.....

Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo