At this time of year the "Festive" Season is an F word that typically brings nothing but sadness and heartache for women who are living the secret life of a Mistress. Please know that if this is you I'm thinking of you one and all, and, if you are a 2011 Mistress-at-Christmas, I do hope that with my help, and the help of my Mistresses Anonymous support group, this will be the last year you choose to live as one, and that the New Year will see you reclaim your life and realise you deserve better, so so much better!
I know exactly how you feel, and can assure you I do NOT miss one single thing about being the Other Woman at this time of year (or any other time of year come to think about it.) Its ironic how a Mistress allows herself to be second best to a married man, a man who'll be having a very happy Christmas with his family, while she'll probably be lying to her family by putting on that brave face to hide the tears she is crying inside. That "happy mask" that any Mistress knows all too well.
Most women in love with a married man hate this time of year. The forced jollity of it all. Having to watch those never-ending Christmas commercials on TV, full of beautiful happy people and normal families. Then there's those couples in love - all wrapped up in wooly jumpers and cosy scarves - laughing and kissing and showing us how much they're looking forward to spending the festive season in each other's arms by that log fire. It can be a totally depressing, frustrating, and upsetting situation, leaving the lonely Christmas-Mistress shrouded in feelings of hopelessness and misery. I know. I've been there.
If anyone reading this knows someone living as a mistress in despair of her affair, then the best advice I can give you is to never tell her to "Cheer up." or to "Pull yourself together." No, this wouldn't help, as she KNOWS she has to, she just doesn't know quite how to do it. She feels alone. And most mistresses (the single unmarried ones anyway) usually are alone on Christmas Day, and New Years Eve too. Unable to get any enjoyment out of these occasions; just waiting for it all to be over so her married lover can call and their affair can resume as normal again.
But if this is YOU reading this Sistah, then the best advice I can give you is to join Mistresses Anonymous and attend a 13-step support group meeting asap. "MA" is the pathway to freedom and liberation. So If this whole festive season makes you feel you want to go to bed and not wake up until it is all over then Christmas is not going to be a very jolly time for you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information on how to escape this world. You'll wonder what took you so long.....
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo