Friday, March 23, 2012

Are YOU an Addict?

I write my blog today to address all those of you who are currently dating a married man and are in despair of your affair, purely 'existing' as you suffer the pain of being in love with an unattainable man. This blog is aimed at YOU. Women stuck in affairs and wish they were not.

Staying in an affair can be an ongoing personal tragedy. It can ruin your health, your looks, and rot you to your very core. It can undermine your self-esteem, destroy your self-confidence, drain your energy and suck your emotions dry. Not to mention waste years of your life in a dead-end relationship.So why on earth do you stay? Your inner voice is telling you to leave, but you just can't. It's as if the pain of leaving is greater than the pain of staying, right? Is this YOU? If so, you are an addict. An addict to toxic love.

A healthy balanced relationship (i.e. one with TWO people in it, not THREE) is generally one where people freely choose to be together, or not! The addictive element comes in where that choice is no longer under your control. One of the hallmarks of addiction is a compulsive drive to do things, this limits your freedom to make choices. Then there is the panic. The panic at the thought of breaking it off, not having this toxic love in your life anymore. This is followed by possible withdrawal symptoms if you DO break up. Leaving you to go back to him, your drug of choice. Another trait of the toxic-love-addict is the sense of incompleteness, despair, sadness and emptiness, which you feel you can only find by your connection to your married man. He becomes the centre of your existence and you are willing to do a great deal of damage to yourself in order to keep your connection to him intact. In order to keep him in your life, even if it is all on his terms. Basically you give up all control to him. Is this YOU?

If all this sounds like you, or even someone you know, I urge you to enroll on my Mistresses Anonymous recovery group programme. I can help you STOP being an addict, and help you to a better life, one of freedom, choices, and happiness. For more information please go to Mistresses Anonymous is a fellowship programme for women around the world, all with one thing in common, 'the despair of their affair.' The only requirment to be a part of MA is a sincere desire to stop dating your married man.

Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo