Sisters,
I write my blog today to address all those of you who are currently dating a married man and are in despair of your affair, purely 'existing' as you suffer the pain of being in love with an unattainable man. This blog is aimed at YOU. Women stuck in affairs and wish they were not.
Staying in an affair can be an ongoing personal tragedy. It can ruin your health, your looks, and rot you to your very core. It can undermine your self-esteem, destroy your self-confidence, drain your energy and suck your emotions dry. Not to mention waste years of your life in a dead-end relationship.So why on earth do you stay? Your inner voice is telling you to leave, but you just can't. It's as if the pain of leaving is greater than the pain of staying, right? Is this YOU? If so, you are an addict. An addict to toxic love.
A healthy balanced relationship (i.e. one with TWO people in it, not THREE) is generally one where people freely choose to be together, or not! The addictive element comes in where that choice is no longer under your control. One of the hallmarks of addiction is a compulsive drive to do things, this limits your freedom to make choices. Then there is the panic. The panic at the thought of breaking it off, not having this toxic love in your life anymore. This is followed by possible withdrawal symptoms if you DO break up. Leaving you to go back to him, your drug of choice. Another trait of the toxic-love-addict is the sense of incompleteness, despair, sadness and emptiness, which you feel you can only find by your connection to your married man. He becomes the centre of your existence and you are willing to do a great deal of damage to yourself in order to keep your connection to him intact. In order to keep him in your life, even if it is all on his terms. Basically you give up all control to him. Is this YOU?
If all this sounds like you, or even someone you know, I urge you to enroll on my Mistresses Anonymous recovery group programme. I can help you STOP being an addict, and help you to a better life, one of freedom, choices, and happiness. For more information please go to www.mistressesanonymous.com. Mistresses Anonymous is a fellowship programme for women around the world, all with one thing in common, 'the despair of their affair.' The only requirment to be a part of MA is a sincere desire to stop dating your married man.
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
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3 comments:
Sarah,
I am not a "typical" mistress/girlfriend...i.e. i was a middle aged waitress, who was no petite flower who fell in love with a married man, who led me down the rosy path.
if you ever need help in promoting your philosophies...i'm your girl (who, i'm sorry, doesn't capitalize.) i saw you on 20/20 tonite, and i wish you all good luck in your future.
best regards,
susie pike
udflyersmp@yahoo.com
Hi there,
So my freshman year in college, I had a random roommate. We got along great and everything was perfect. Then she introduced me to her amazing, hot boyfriend... Her first mistake. Well as I got to know her more, and find out more about her, she started sharing personal things about her boyfriend and their relationship with me, and asking my advice... Second mistake. So she had been with him for year, when she found out he cheated on her with some random from at a party. Of course devistated, they broke up, only to get back together a few days later. They had gone another year, with no problems, when we became roommates.
While living with her, and having Mr Hottie stay the night sometimes, he and I began to flirt, laugh, and joke but it never led to anything, honest. It wasn't until later. At Christmas, I transfered schools to get closer to home, and began a job in my hometown. He was from a town not far from mine. Well while I was working one night, he came in and by this time, I had kinda forgotten about him... He came up to me and we began talking and oh, how quickly I remembered who he was. He asked when I got off work and I told him not long, so he then offered to stay and wait for me. When I got off work, I met up with him outside and me talked in his car for another 3 hours... Pretty fun. Anyway, needless to say he asked me for my number before I left that night and thus began a secret relationship. It's been going on now for 6 months. We take trips, go to dinner and have fun just being together with the benefits, of course. But now, after all this time, I feel as though I know I'm developing some attachment, nothing serious, but I'm afraid it will become that way sooner than later. I'm 20, first time mistress and don't feel I should be attached to someone I can never have... But this is different. There are also times when I want to tell his girlfriend, my former roommate, that we really are seeing eachother now. She took him back the first time, third mistake, but she doesn't deserve this. Advice...? Help...? Im not sure what to do anymore.
Thanks for the input,
VW
I saw you tonight watching 20/20. I could really use your advice on how to leave my guy. I have been with him for 8 years. It will never go anywhere. I do know that. He has told me he will never leave HER. I love him and I want out.
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