Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mad Max... or not?

Dear all,
I have been following the Mel Gibson story closer than some - since his destructive and toxic relationship with this Russian broad was born of an affair - I feel I have to. But firstly, let me put on record that I do NOT condone physical violence nor racism whatsoever.

What is making me sick, is that everyone is so ready to condemn him BEFORE we know the truth, and the actual details. Let alone the proof. So far, from what I am reading, I can see that Mel is the victim of an incredibly vicious gold digger, and what she is doing to him actually shows she has a far more evil character than he does, and has major anger issues herself. She is far from a sweet little innocent victim in all this. If Mel did hit her that night, I wonder why she didn't immediately call the cops on him to protect herself, like most women would, and like we have seen most celebrity wives do (think of Charlie Sheen's wife for example). But no, this woman decided to turn the tapes over to the paparazzi rather than to the law. I mean, if this happened back in January, wouldn't she have been so worried and scared from him, that she'd be seeking a restraining order against him before now, so that he wouldn't come anywhere near her or the baby? And, because the tapes are so obviously sliced, diced, and tampered with, they will be inadmissable in court, and won't be able to be used. Therefore, if he DID hit her, he will probably go unpunished, whereas if she HAD called the cops on him, he would get a just punishment and would be made and example of for other abusive men!

As an infidelity analyst, I hear from people every day asking my advice on their relationship problems, and it's my job to try to understand human behavior, good and bad, and get to the root of why we do certain things. Mel Gibson is/was a brilliant actor, who only 6 years ago was number one on the Forbes Celebrity 100 list. When things were going well he was applauded in Hollywood, and was welcomed by the very people who are now turning their back on him. When he was making a ton of money for them things were fine and dandy, but now, when the man needs serious mental help to conquer his many demons, all he is getting is ridicule and the cold shoulder. Nice!

I don't believe that Mel is really a racist. Yes he has said some awful, offensive and hateful things, but these were said in a tsunami of rage. When you are overtaken by rage and anger you really do not know, nor care, what you are saying and doing.

If Mel was giving sober, calm interviews, and in those one on ones he was saying these hideous things, it would be different, but this man was poisoned by alcohol when he launched into most of his rants, so while it is shocking to hear, I am not surprised at all. I am not defending Mel per se, but I am standing his corner to highlight the problems of alcohol and (alleged) physical abuse in regular every day relationships, i.e. not just with Hollywood movie stars.

If Mel did actually hit this woman, we will have another conversation about it, but for now, all I can see from her side is a manipulating gold digger. She met Mel and saw an opportunity. He opened a door and she walked through it. They started an affair, so she was his mistress to begin with (hence the toxicity and the relationship not having a chance in hell from the get-go). He then left his wife for her, he gave her (AND HER SON from another man) a roof over her head, and God knows what else too. She then goes and tricks him into parenthood again (I mean, do you think he REALLY wants to be changing diapers again at 54??), he gives her $5m to produce some album she was working on, and then when things were not going her way, she riles him to a point of insanity. If I was Mel I would be angry at her too, and could think of a few worse names than the ones he used, thats for sure.

I will say though, that whatever the outcome, if Mel didn't use condoms with her due to the fact he is 'so catholic' that won't wash with me. As, part of being a good catholic is to remain faithful to your wife. Which is why I no longer practice the religion personally!

Mel Gibson and I do have one thing in common though, we have both been banned by Barbara Walters from appearing on the show "The View" ever again, both for different reasons, but both seem to involve a semblance of verbal abuse issues. More on that another time!

Sarah J. x

1 comment:

BDiego said...

This is spot on. Nothing about what's been reported sounds like it was just two people involving domestic violence. This woman was video taping the incident, won't release the actual video but only edited parts, and obviously was hoping to be hit. It's premeditated.

It is a good lesson though that no matter how much someone wants you to hit them, the last thing you should do is give them what they ask for. Two wrongs don't make a right.