Monday, October 12, 2009

The Dr Phil Show today: And the Mistresses Anonymous Support Group

To any and all women writing to me for advice, welcome. You may have seen me on the Dr. Phil show today.

Whether you be a woman in love with a married man; A woman dealing with the pain of being in a toxic relationship; A woman who is in love with an emotionally unavailable man; Or a wife/girlfriend who just wants to know the signs to look for if their partner is cheating, and how to stop it, then please either leave your comments on my blog, or come to my Mistresses Anonymous support group. The link to my group is available on the homepage of this website, or attached here.


For any wives who want to know how to affair proof their marriages, it is very simple. And, rather than wanting to hate the other woman, learn to be the best wife you can be in order to alleviate your husband wanting to have his emotional and physical needs met elsewhere. The steps to affair-proofing your marriage are very simple. Contact me for more information.

Peace
Sarah J.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey i just wanted to tell you i was in the same position as you women expected my boyfriend wasn't married & at the end he ended up with me & now were happy 4 years being together ...it just goes to show that not all married man or boyfriend live happy with there wife's and if you don't want your husband / boyfriend to cheat you need to cater to his every will.

Anonymous said...

You do not "cater" to his ever need or as your poor grammar and writing implies, "will". You act like a person who respects herself and your man will respect you. No matter what your relationship is. You treat each other well, kind, and remain present in your relationship, and realize "love" is a verb that always needs to be active.

Anonymous said...

What is your mistresses annoymous site? Is this it?

Anonymous said...

i watched the dr phil show - i usually don't as i think he is a jackass. my question is why you would think that a culturally constructed "Dr" show would look upon any women (wife or mistress) as anything but causing the "man" to have an affair. women are cruel and dishonest with each other and we have been taught since the "playground" to be in competition with each other - that is what the man plays on.

Lee said...

I saw you on Dr. Phil today and want to say thank you for getting your story and the rest of the women on the show. I've been with dating a married man for 12 years. I decided early this year that it had to end but he won't let go. I tried having a normal relationship with a wonderful man but when he asked me to marry him just after 2 months of dating it all went down hill and I ruined everything. What I wanted and needed from the married man to give me another man offered me after 2 months of dating. Can I ever have a real relationship?

Anonymous said...

I saw the Dr. Phil show and all of you on the panel make me sick. Yes, the men may pursue the women but the women have got to have more respect and self-esteem to turn them away. If you find out weeks or months later that he is married that is no excuse to say oh well, I have already given him the goodies and I feel like I am in love with him. He is a married man and you should walk away. If more women would walk away from married men there would be less infidelity. All of you on the panel that made excuses for why you do this are pathetic. Do I feel sorry for any of you, NO. Get a man of your own and then I hope someone does you like you all have done other women.

Nick, 3rdeye said...

I'm a guy. I watched Dr. Phil (hereafter referred to as DP), missing the first few minutes. I stopped as I was changing channels because I saw the banner in the background about "Inside Infidelity", so I stopped to watch, what with 6 women, some beautiful, some average, on the stage. I gave up the 4th quarter of Monday Night football to watch even! (DP is broadcast here at 8 PM local time, followed by Oprah) When I was married, I never once cheated, nor was I even tempted very much, though I admit I DID think on it from time to time. The key point is I never acted on the thought. However, wife-she cheated on ME. To this day, I fail to understand the WHY of this. Your program was NO help. I understand it was from the female point of view of an affair with a married male. Still, I thought it might lend some insight. It seems you (the panel anyway) were more into justifying why it was OK, saying things like it was empowering to the woman (a point I fail to see any logic in), that it helped HIS marriage in a way because the mistress was a form of venting which let the man take out his feelings on someone else than his wife, thus helping to preserve the marriage. Bull. People cheat, man or woman, for purely selfish reasons. I have YET to find anything altruistic about an affair. (I just tuned over to football during the commercial break with 15 minutes left in the show to see Miami take the lead by 4 with 6 seconds left on the clock for the Jets... so I missed a few more minutes to see the end of the game. So sue me. You do NOT realize how much I gave up to watch 40 minutes of DP instead of football. It was pure chance I hit it just right to see the final 30 seconds.) I came back at the point where they opened the floor to audience questions. I can understand getting suckered, that a woman did NOT know the man was married. But, once it became known, the lie falls apart. The man tells the lie, the woman believes the lie, even still KNOWING it is a lie, yet she continues! In my book, that is simply immoral. Immoral does NOT make the women BAD people, just misguided and not taking responsibility for violating a marriage. You want sex. You want attention. you want SOMETHING, which is what makes me say this is simply selfish. You do not care if the man is married or not. At the end of the program, you (Sarah) DID point out the wife CAN do things such as, listen to the man, be sexy for the man, stay up late and listen to the man about his day, THAT kind of stuff, more like a mistress than a wife, and you will help keep your man at home. THAT apparently works both ways, for men and women in a marriage. That was actually a very GOOD constructive suggestion. I failed to pay attention to my wife and I suspect THAT is actually why she had an affair and finally left me for another man, though the words were never said in that manner. I never saw any signs, but hindsight shows me the signs WERE there but I never saw them. The one surprising thing I learned which stood out, the segment near the beginning where 3 women gave up a phone number KNOWING the man was married. OK, so he was acting, but the women did not know that, and gave up their phone numbers. I wonder though, how many of the 3 were REAL? I've known women in my past to give a number that was a fake. I even got a fake one time, so I know it happens, happened... at least ONE time, with ME. There was no word of a follow-up to see if the 3 numbers the actor got were real. Maybe all 3 were fake! This was used to back up DP's assertion that some (most?) women do not care if a man is married or not.So, even hough I anm NOLT a DP fan, I watched anyway, saw ONE constructive point made and the rest an attempt to validate and justify having an affair with a married man. HOW exactly does this really HELP anyone? This show of DP's was 90% chaff, 10% wheat...

But then, what do I know? I was the one cheated ON, not the one doing the cheating...

Anonymous said...

Thank you Sarah for being you. The man that captures your heart will be lucky indeed.
Having been the "other woman" too many times too many times, I do agree that whether girlfriend or wife, the "spice" and comfort a mistress brings to a relationship should be evident in EVERY relationship. Of course, its easy for me to say that now that the kids are grown and I have me time. The challenge now, as you seem to be finding, is where to find a man worthy of our attentions. I mean that with all humility. Most men my age (48) just do not get it. A woman of any age who cares about her looks, has a sense of humour, is caring and talented and smart does not want to settle for a man who has to be reminded to shower, exercise or read a book. It's not a tall order, or at least it shouldn't be.
I wish I knew the answer. Keeping the faith.

Anonymous said...

I loved seeing you gals on the show!!! I thought Dr. Phil was more than rude to all of you, but you guys stood your ground with class! His anger towards you made me wonder how many affairs he has had... hmmm....

Anonymous said...

I saw Dr Phil, and just wanted to take a moment to say that this topic is definitely one that highlights stereo-typical relationships and what should be...versus the reality of what truly is. Whether acceptable or un-acceptable, what really needs to be highlighted here, is society's defined expectations of what a marriage should be. But, time and time again, whether it be the husband, or the wife, we continually here about infidelity. I can totally understand your view point. And more importantly, it seems in this situation, there is only one person who really seems to benefit (the cheating husband). And at the expense of another persons well being and lively-hood.

May this find you all smiling, and finding peace, happiness and well being in your world.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I saw you on DrPhil today and I really thought that he was hard on you. You are being honest and telling the truth. It is NOT the mistreses fault!! It is the husbands that took the vows to their wives and it is their responsibility to keep those vows. I thought the women that stood up in the audience were way to harsh. They acted so self-righteous. You never know until you are in that situation what you will do. I have been married and I have been cheated on. It was not the mistreeses fault...it was my husband's fault. I didnt care about her, I divorced him. I started seeing a wonderful man but I started to think something was wrong. I found out 6mts in to the relationship that he was married. He said he was seperated blah blah. I continued to see him for 2.5 more years. I am not a bad person, a home wrecker or a whore.
I just thought that you represented yourself well and I think the audience was ignorant and DrPhil was unfair.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah,

Your appearance on Dr. Phil was very interesting and I think you and the other guests had a lot of important and insightful information to share. Of course the Dr. Phil crowd did not take it as a chance to learn and instead seemed to see it as a chance to attack you, no doubt due to their own insecurities. I really wish they would have asked more probing questions instead of loaded questions to get their opinions across. You handled yourself particularly well despite it being somewhat of a firing squad. The women in the audience just seemed scared of you because of how much power you can have over someone who could very well be "their man". Keep up what you do, this support group seems to help people and that's all that matters. Modern marriage is a very complex and interesting topic and I think you give the general public a cool opportunity to look more deeply into that.

sarah J Symonds said...

Hey you all. Thank you for leaving so many wonderful comments. I hope you guys are able to use this as a forum to share your pain and or your healing. Come to my mistresses anonymous support group sessions (the link to the site is on my homepage of this website) and I can answer some of your questions there.

Keep keeping the faith. Chin up!!
Sarah x

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