Friday, October 23, 2009

Mistresses Anonymous recovery sessions


For all of you who have written to me since seeing me on the Dr Phil show last week, especially after learning of my Mistresses Anonymous support/recovery group online chat room, please know that I do try to get back to you all personally but it is nearly impossible at times as I am being deluged with letters, emails, blog comments and Face Book messages from so so many of you who are all living life as the Other Woman!

What the Dr Phil show did was, rather than suppressing this topic, and making us out to look like the culprits, it just opened a pandora's box to highlight the fact that so many of the American female population (and Dr Phil's viewers) ARE in fact the Other Woman (or have been, or even, would like to be!) I am blown away by it all. Especially when I learn that so many of you are married women - i.e wives having affairs with other married men. Phew....this is a never ending topic.

One woman wrote to me from Michigan this week to say that she felt that "if only she could have a one-to-one, half an hour session with me, she felt I would be able to cure her of her addiction to her unhealthy affair, and that I could change her life!" Big stuff!

To give you all the help and support you need to get OUT OF THESE toxic relationships I am going to have to start one-to-one renewal coaching sessions. I will try to work with you all on your budgets and will be able to help you more than any therapist can, as I have been there. I have been where you are!! You all write to me in the same states of turmoil. I know how you feel, and some of the best teachers are those in recovery themselves!!!

Contact me personally for more information. I need to be able to dedicate the time to each of you that you so desperately need in order to heal and get out of these dead end relationships with married men who are just using you! Wake up. Get OUT. I can help you.

Keep the faith

Sarah J x


Stuck in a rut said...

I would be so interested but I am on the east coast. Would you be able to do phone/email/chat type of sessions? I need help breaking free from this relationship with this MM. He tells me all the lies I want to hear all the while going right home to his wife and can't understand why I get upset.
I would in fact tell him I needed money for something else and use it to pay for a session. LOL.

sarah j symonds said...

Dear Stuck in a Rut,
Yes I would definitely be able to do phone or email consultations with you of course. Since you are so stuck in a rut it could take a little while to work with you and build your self esteem up enough to leave him and to leave this toxic relationship. I think that is a great idea to have him pay for this treatment too. After all, he has done this to you, so the least he can do is help you get healthy again!!

Email me your details to

In the meantime, stay strong.
Sarah J x

theMistress said...

Sarah, I am so glad that you are offering your services! I can happily say that I do NOT need them, as I have broken things off with my MM after 2 1/2 years.

Due to financial circumstances, I moved very near to MM, and I saw him and the wife all the time. It nearly put me in the hospital---mentally. My counselor told me that I had to get away from that situation, so last week I moved. My stress has gone way down, and I'm not eating xanax like candy anymore. Each day I feel a little better, though its only been a week now.

Ladies, when your relationship with your MM starts to affect you like it did me, please please please get out. It can be done---I never used to think I could break away, but I did. We are all stronger than we know.

theMistress----NO MORE!!!!

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Anonymous said...

Hello everyone! I am so very happy to have found this web-site! I have never blogged before, so I hope this works.
I have been involved with a MM for one year and 10 months, and have had feelings of guilt, and shame for most of the time I've been with him. He is now living in Florida, as his job sent him there. He has visited, and we continue to keep in touch everyday. I've asked him on occasion if he feels guilty about our relationship, and he says no. I do not want his wife to know of me, but I'm sure she does. They have been separated for about 10 years. He moves around the country for his job, and she remains at their home in another state. He and I've lived together for awhile, before his job moved him. He called his wife every evening, even while I was sitting right next to him. I felt sick and ashamed, each time he did that. One evening I went to his place from work on my break, and surprise I found him in bed with a neighbor! I was devastated, and guess what, she actually told me, "Don't leave him, he loves you." I think that was when I hit bottom, because I stuck around. He seemed to try to make it up to me, but I can't forget that night, that was over a year ago.
To the anonymous MM who said, "How long can two dishonest people maintain a healthy relationship." Well, your words are like spears to my heart. BTW, thank you. I have wanted to break it off even since before that terrible night, but we were friends and we had so much in common. Now it seems we won't even be able to get the friendship back.
Sisters, I am so ashamed of myself. Even though I have never, nor would I ever want him to leave his family. His wife has put up with his infedelity for many years, she deserves to get whatever she can.
I am ready to call this off, I really do need help. I never thought I could be the other woman, as I was once the wife on the other end.

Anonymous said...

hey this is michelle from canada.

i am in the health field and been a mistress for almost 20 years.i need to stop,everytime i think that this one will be different ,all it does is make me feel worse.they have such a way of making us feel guilty.i need to have some support,its like i attract it and i don,t want it anymore.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

I am so sick. I was involved with a married man about 6 years ago.(we share the same aunt on opposite sides of family) so back then I told figuring cinderella would have her prince...ha didnt work out that wya....i cried for 3 years over it then I seen him and he would pop up where i was....i drove bus he passed me daily ..i would cry then he he would go away we had contact once i cried and he said he can't then about 1 year later he called me..we got together then he disappeared.again i was devastated then I tried to move on and again this past xmas he called came over...wondering why I cry ..then in may he contacted me anonymously through a website and once again we started and it has went on now another 3 months..he told me inthat time how he has seen me more than I iknow..i love him and wonder why someone would follow after me like this if he didn't have feelings.if its just sex u can get that elswhere.well he has been getting skinny he said yesterday he doesnt think he can go on like this the sneaking an depression.....i cut the webpage and i am so angry...i have never lied to him about how i feel why did he come around again after all these years...i never responded back to him just deleted my page and that was yesterday....I even didn't work a day this week just to see him giving up money I need for what an hour...its sick I dont' understand it..i think he must love me.and i have been single a long affects me I keep thinking he must love me why would he do this and then I get jealous thining there are others and then I think if there were why would he opersue me.

i can't stand this society i am looked at as the one but i honesty let it go and criedc myself sick for 3 years and now here were are 3 years after that and hes back.

i don't understand why i am this way. i had some counseling and i was sexually abused as a child and alot of other tramas. some say thats why i don't know.....i just wanted him to love me.....i cry as I write this but i know i have to break free......i need help