Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Wives are SO in denial...

It's 4am here in Los Angeles, and I've just got off the air from doing a live interview for the LK morning television show on GMTV in the UK, aired on ITV.  Well, it's a good job I did do the link from so far away as the debate started to get a bit heated, and, I still can't believe the denial ridden rubbish that the 'wronged wife' in the London studio was spouting. She really truly believed it was the 'other woman's fault' for MAKING her husband cheat on her while she was pregnant. Bottom line is she chose a crappy guy as husband material in the first place (obvious by the way she said he was treating her) but rather than take responsibility for that, and even going on to have his kids too, she'd rather try and blame someone else (the OW) and use her as the scapegoat. (Although, it sounds to me like getting rid of her husband was the best thing that could have happened to her in the long run.  What a toad to do what he did!).  

Wives, for the record, a woman cannot lure your husband away.  A woman cannot force your husband to cheat on you, nor force him to have sex with her.  A wife can push her husband to stray though, and, she can be so indifferent toward him that he may not want to come home to her at all....unless he has to!  You have no idea the depth of deceit some of your husbands go to when they make the CONSCIOUS decision to cheat on you.  Mistresses can unknowingly become as much of a victim as the wife, and ultimately both women end up being manipulated by the same selfish guy.  Fact! 

Here is the link to the Oprah Show I did in 2007, as it also shows some 'wronged (American) wives.'

It's beyond crazy that the wife continually chooses to blame the other woman when her husband is caught playing away.  Ironically the wife needs to look at herself in the relationship and see what responsibility she needs to take as to why he is looking for another woman in the first place.  So many women check out of their marriages both physically and mentally that it's no wonder so many men are out there on the prowl seeking fulfillment of their emotional and physical needs.  Men are simple creatures, they just need attention.  Wives if you start to realize that, and, try to act more like a mistress at the same time, then I guarantee you will stop many of your husbands from cheating on you! 

I'm working with a lot of wives out here in LA, coaching them on how to keep their husbands from straying.  I'm using my past, as a mistress, to help troubled marriages.  Being the only 'Infidelity Analyst' in the world I'm a busy girl right now, helping women across America "affair proof" their marriages.  I'm not looking to alienate anyone, I am trying to empower all women to be the best they can, to be in charge of their relationships and their minds and....to keep their man!!!!!

Must dash, there's work to be done.
Sarah J.


Sílvia said...

Dear Sarah,
I agree totally with you !!!
Kisses and hugs!!
Sílvia - ex.mistress

Lola London said...

Dear Sarah
I too saw GMTV and I couldnt believe how the wife just blamed the OW...she took no responsibility at all - she needs to wake up - it was unusual he left, they rarely do...so she was unlucky with that one...but hey men love with their eyes - she needs to get real and lose some weight...sorry wifey I know its shallow but welcome to my world of men !! Lola, London - ex mistress and empowered by evertything you say Sarah J !!! keep up the work we love you championing our cause on both sides of the Atlantic....worthy leader and gorgeous of course !!

Mandy Kloppers said...

I saw the show and whilst I would never advocate someone knowingly getting involved with a married man I do think there are a lot of married women out there who are in denial and just a little naive.I have had exposure to what married men do when I recently dated a wealthy man and he would divulge the secrets of his married friends to me.SOme of the nicest, most family-oriented men who did seem to love their wives were having affairs with prostitutes.One in particular had been seeing a Russian prostitute for three years and whilst his wife constantly complained that he "worked too much" he was taking this woman on trips, to the theatre etc. I remember thinking - if he is capable of it then there's MANY men out there who are also probably having affairs.
I think they gave you a bit of a hard time on the show and I will be interested to read your book and learn more about why men stray.
Instead of condemning you, I think the smart woman should learn and try affair-proof her relationship.

Mandy Kloppers
blog: http://texttonic.blogspot.com/

sarah J. Symonds said...

Mandy well said!! And, your comments just prove my point that it is ALL about the sex. Men need it and women need to realize it and embrace that fact! If wives are not sleeping with their husbands (and often) he WILL cheat on her with someone who will. Sad but true.

Thanks again
Sarah J. x

sarah J. Symonds said...

Dearest Lola from London, thank you for your wonderful comments. I'm happy and proud to be your worldwide Ambassador :-) I'm keeping it real and just speaking the truth!!

Ex-mistress Silvia, thank you for your comments (and I'm happy to see that the word EX still comes before Mistress in your world.) Stay strong.

Sarah J. x

Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah
Do you offer one-on-one counseling?

sarah J. Symonds said...

Dear Anonymous
Yes I do offer one-to-one counseling and coaching. Why not email me your situation in confidence to me, at sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com and, then we can chat?


girl - ex-mistress said...

It was a great pleasure to find your blog (I loved it)...I am a Brazilian single girl and a friend of mine told me about you...
I had 2 relationships with married-man and these experiences were a big deception in my life... I lost my time (3 years) with these bastards...the last one was 51 years old and lasted 2 years..I discovered that he has another mistress...this man certainly took viagra or other medicine because we had a lot of sex (normally 4 or 5 times a day and I say to you that I love sex but everything that is too much is not good - sometimes I felt tired of so much sex...like an object...)
I haven`t read your book yet but I will soon...
I think MM (most of them) have psychological problems and are compulsive for sex so their wives and mistresses arent enough...they dont have real satisfaction...Nobody will satisfact them...they want more and more (sex without love)...
Now I want only free man!!

Sarah you are very beautiful...look like an angel!
Stay strong, you will find a very good and beautiful husband! We will!
you are certainly helping us!!
A hug, my new friend, angel and sister!
I don`t write English very well but it is easy for me to read (fortunatelly). Sorry for my mistakes!!!

I am your new fan!
Girl - ex-mistress

Anonymous said...

So funny and ironic!! My MM has an unlisted phone number so when he calls me my Caller ID reads "Unavailable" b/c his phone number isnt listed. Ironic thing is, b/c he's married he is totally Unavailable. haha. I clued in to that the other day and I swear that is all I need as a constant reminder that he is 'Unavailable" to me in more ways than one!!!

Anonymous said...

I have a question about how to spice things up w/ my MM. I've done the sexy lingerie,cooked dinner nearly naked, sex toys and other things but I'm looking for something really fresh and new. Any suggestions?

sarah J. Symonds said...

Dear Mistress 'who has tried everything to please her MM' - first of all, I have to ask you, WHY??? Why on earth are you bending over backwards, and probably forwards, to keep another woman's husband happy?? Is this the life you want? You do know you are only helping his marriage survive don't you?

Anyhow, if you are determined to go along this route and know what you are doing, and are not getting hurt, then from the description of activities you have described to me, I would suggest that a threesome is next on the cards.

Good luck, be safe
Sarah J.

Anonymous said...

I suggested a threesome w/ another male and he said that he wasnt interested in. Then I told him other things I wanted him to do to me and got more of a reaction. Selfish bastard; doesnt want to share?

Anonymous said...

My favorite of your comments Sarah, has got to be this: "Wives, for the record, a woman cannot lure your husband away."
I SO wish that someone could tell the wives this?!!! Could you publish an article or a stock email for wife of the MM that keeps harassing me and that I have stepped away from ?!?! Apparently It was all my fault and the pooooor pooooor baby was just totally under my spell... it was amazing (big eye roll) my powers...
You said it all: "A woman cannot force your husband to cheat on you, nor force him to have sex with her. A wife can push her husband to stray..." perfect. until the wives get it...they continue to beat their sh*tty relationship to a pulp, manipulating with guilt and lies... and us "OW" will have to mend the hurts and move on. I am realizing that MM are the selfish, brainless, simple idiots and that is helping my recovery into being a reformed OW, and never again.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to have found this discussion. I had an affair with a MM for 2.5 yrs. While I knew it was wrong (in the back of my mind stuffed deep down below) I continued to see him even after his wife found out. We ended it over a year ago and I have absolutely no plans to get back together with him. However after over a year of not being together, I got another guilt-ridden text message from his wife--this coming after I sat down with her a year ago and apologized. Is there anything I can do to make the harassment stop? Perhaps I deserve this for the rest of her life, but i've been working on myself the last year, trying to move past my guilt. If she keeps harassing me, it will never happen. Help me, please.

Gordana said...

Dear Sara,
I just loved the book!!!! I recognized myself in a different roles; as a devoted wife once, indifferent wife later and now as a wife who is having affairs ( the best way). I am also a mistress to 2 very similar man at the moment and I have my ups and downs in all of those relationships. Your book helped me to clear my thoughts and justify my own observations. Congratulations, book is so real and clever and it captured the life and the men as they really are! After all, there is no need to be upset with men, once you get to know them and what to expect from them life gets better! They are no enemy!