A New Year, a New YOU!

Sisters,
The new year is soon upon us. I hope that if you HAVE spent this Christmas as a Mistress, you'll be finally starting to wake up and smell the coffee, and hopefully be asking yourself, "Surely this can't be ALL I want from life!!" I am hearing great things from many of you who have been attending my online Mistresses Anonymous meetings, or reading my book, and I hope more of you will feel that it is time to stop being a martyr to what you 'thought was love.' I'm one of the few women in the world willing to speak out, as I understand firsthand why women stay so long, and accept so little. Accept such crumbs of a relationship. I know all about that self-sacrificial tolerance. It’s one thing to be patient and stoic, and another to be stupid. And I was stupid for well over a decade.

Since escaping the golden handcuffs of the mistress world, the burden of my intense unhappiness has been somewhat lifted. But it took a long time. Don't leave it that long Sisters. Make 2012 YOUR year. This is your life. Don't let someone else edit it as they see fit, and certainly not a cheating married man who will never be leaving his wife for you. Mind you, why would you even want him to?? A cheat will cheat on you remember.

Come to an online New Years Eve and New Years Day Mistresses Anonymous meeting. I will be posting the times on Facebook, so if we are not already friends there, then look me up. And go to www.mistressesanonymous.com to learn more, as well as log in to attend the online MA meeting.

Happy New You, and peace to all womenkind
Hugs
Sarah J xo

The Christmas Day online "Mistresses Anonymous Meeting"

Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood

My traditional Mistresses Anonymous meeting will be held tomorrow as follows..

11am-noon (UK time) and then 7pm-8.30pm UK time (which will be 11am-12.30pm PST, and 2-3.30pm EST.)

I hope this works, due to all the time zones etc, but we'll make it happen. So, pull up a chair, grab a glass of #13 (white wine, ala 'Step 13 of the MA Programme' being that you 'deserve one.'') and go to www.mistressesanonymous.com and click on the "MA online meetings" icon, choose a nickname (or use your real name, whatever you prefer) and its as simple as that.

I will be chairing the MA meetings tomorrow from the times mentioned above, but you are all free to stay there and chat before and after I have gone remember. Its your chatroom. Your support group.

Hope to see you all there tomorrow
Peace
Sarah J xo

The Seasonal "F word" That Makes Mistresses Sad.

Dear Sisters,
At this time of year the "Festive" Season is an F word that typically brings nothing but sadness and heartache for women who are living the secret life of a Mistress. Please know that if this is you I'm thinking of you one and all, and, if you are a 2011 Mistress-at-Christmas, I do hope that with my help, and the help of my Mistresses Anonymous support group, this will be the last year you choose to live as one, and that the New Year will see you reclaim your life and realise you deserve better, so so much better!

I know exactly how you feel, and can assure you I do NOT miss one single thing about being the Other Woman at this time of year (or any other time of year come to think about it.) Its ironic how a Mistress allows herself to be second best to a married man, a man who'll be having a very happy Christmas with his family, while she'll probably be lying to her family by putting on that brave face to hide the tears she is crying inside. That "happy mask" that any Mistress knows all too well.

Most women in love with a married man hate this time of year. The forced jollity of it all. Having to watch those never-ending Christmas commercials on TV, full of beautiful happy people and normal families. Then there's those couples in love - all wrapped up in wooly jumpers and cosy scarves - laughing and kissing and showing us how much they're looking forward to spending the festive season in each other's arms by that log fire. It can be a totally depressing, frustrating, and upsetting situation, leaving the lonely Christmas-Mistress shrouded in feelings of hopelessness and misery. I know. I've been there.

If anyone reading this knows someone living as a mistress in despair of her affair, then the best advice I can give you is to never tell her to "Cheer up." or to "Pull yourself together." No, this wouldn't help, as she KNOWS she has to, she just doesn't know quite how to do it. She feels alone. And most mistresses (the single unmarried ones anyway) usually are alone on Christmas Day, and New Years Eve too. Unable to get any enjoyment out of these occasions; just waiting for it all to be over so her married lover can call and their affair can resume as normal again.

But if this is YOU reading this Sistah, then the best advice I can give you is to join Mistresses Anonymous and attend a 13-step support group meeting asap. "MA" is the pathway to freedom and liberation. So If this whole festive season makes you feel you want to go to bed and not wake up until it is all over then Christmas is not going to be a very jolly time for you. Email me at sarah@mistressesanonymous.com for more information on how to escape this world. You'll wonder what took you so long.....

Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo

It's that time of year again...

Sisters, hello.
How are you all bearing up during this time of year? I particularly reach out to all American Sisters of the Mistress-hood at this time of the year. How many of you are still living out the secret misery of being the "Other Woman" this Thanksgiving? Being put on hold while the man you are in love with is busy with the woman he is in love with, i.e. his wife. Have the holidays been hard for you, enduring stories from friends and family about their their busy holiday time with their family, while you are all alone, perpetually alone during these festive times, as well as each and every Saturday night? Are you dating the invisible man (i.e. a married one) and have no one to celebrate with? Dreading cheerful festive gatherings which you have to attend alone? If this is you, it's time to make change once and for all. If you are in despair of your affair and want out, then come to a Mistresses Anonymous ("MA") meeting. Link attached below. If as many of you as possible can find me on Facebook it will be great, as this is the main posting place for times of MA meetings etc. You may be a Mistress this Thanksgiving, but with my help, and the support of MA, I guarantee you will be in a far better place this time NEXT year. And remember, MA is like AA, but at MA we can drink. And anyone who knows anything about the 'life of the mistress' will know she often needs to!

http://www.livestream.com/uk2la

Keep the faith Sisters and see you at MA soon
Hugs
Sarah J xo

Do NOT bury your heads in the sand, Sisters!

Sisters,
Although I haven't written my blog for a while, I've been busy hearing from many of you all with love dilemmas of one sort or another, and, it got me to thinking. Yes I am known for my work with Mistresses - who want to become EX-Mistresses - and yes I am the Founder and CEO of Mistresses Anonymous, but, since so many of you write to me with issues of trust, deceit, or confusion, about men, and many of them being men who are not actually married, it got me to thinking how the whole of the sisterhood need to embrace each other, to work towards being happy and fulfilled, not second best,duped, dumped, or humiliated. I welcome you all, whether you are Mistresses, Ex-Mistresses, Wanna-Be Mistresses (I'll soon knock THAT out of you if you are) or Single Women looking for Mr. Right who NEVER want to be duped into becoming a Mistress. That's the worst by the way!!

Many women want to hate me, but there is no need. I am here to help. My colorful past has given me the tools to make sure YOU don't waste valuable years with the wrong man, whether he be married or just be "Mr Unavailable" in other ways. And remember, when a man cheats he is bringing his own house of cards down with one fell swoop of his penis. This business of "The Mistress is a Homewrecker" tripe is a load of rubbish. If you knew how many homes that Mistresses actually (unwittingly) KEEP together, while rotting to their very core privately, you'd think differently.

So Ladies, we all need to do our Due Diligence on any man that walks in to our life. I am currently doing mine I can assure you. And Wives, yours should be ongoing, as a woman wrote to me here recently, to say that while she wasn't blind to the signs that her husband was cheating, she just wasn't 'looking for them.' Sadly they hit her in the face and she now knows what she could've found out ages ago.

To my Single Sisters, a woman wrote here recently to say she'd 'thought' her new boyfriend was single until 2 years into their relationship when he went and picked up with another woman. And they weren't EVEN married yet. What a charmer. Another story that sticks in my mind is the Mistress having an affair with the 'soon-to-be-married' fiance. And the wedding of whom she which was in fact due to attend as a guest. Shame on her for being such a fool, yes, but how awful to be the bride about to walk down that aisle, about to marry a fully fledged cheat even BEFORE they took their vows.

I read an interesting article in today's UK Daily Mail newspaper. At the end of it they listed 20 signs of how to spot a Psychopath. The first 17 of them resonated with me from many men I've known and should have run from. If they do you, then you know you need to look into your relationships right now. Whether you're a Mistress, a Wife, A Single Sister, or an engaged woman, do NOT ignore the signs, as I can assure you, if you put your head in the sand, all you get is sand in your hair!!

Here you go. Keep the Faith and stay real.

IS HE A PSYCHOPATH?

1 Glibness/superficial charm
2 Grandiose sense of self-worth
3 Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
4 Pathological lying
5 Cunning/manipulative
6 Lack of remorse or guilt
7 Shallow affect (superficial Range or depth of feelings)
8 Callous/lack of empathy
9 Parasitic lifestyle
10 Poor behavioural controls
11 Promiscuous sexual behaviour
12 Early behaviour problems
13 Lack of realistic long-term goals
14 Impulsiveness
15 Irresponsibility
16 Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
17 Many short-term relationships

Kisses
Sarah J. xo

Wife School: Class is in Session.

Greetings from The Marriage Doctor!!

Ladies, it's THAT time of year again. This is the time of year I call "Cheaters Season." That's right, in the infidelity yearly calendar this is officially Cheaters Season! And while there may not be a Hallmark card for it yet, I can assure you it does exist, and sadly it is here to stay. We are about to enter the season that all wives need to be aware of. From the month of September, right up to Thanksgiving and Christmas, its basically open-season for many married men who decide to cheat on their wives. Married men who feel the urge to merge with another woman.

Many married men will be extremely frustrated after the confines of the long summer months (bless them), the chaotic summer vacations, and the forced-family-unit-time, leaving many of them seeking some adventure with another woman. After all, men need to reinstate their egos remember. Some married men will be looking forward to rekindling the affair they've had to put on hold during the summer period, knowing they need to work desperately hard to make amends with their 'Other Woman.' (*Wives, here's an important Wife School Tip, watch for any money going 'missing' from the ATM account during September, as he wines and dines his Mistress to try win back her affections*). It's a fact, as the summer is the time when I hear from most mistresses, all in despair-of their-affair with a man who is on the family vacation, unable to call or see his secret lover!

So Wives, I am here for you. You may not want to like me, but you sure need to listen to me. I have the secrets on how you can Affair-Proof your marriage (prevention is ALWAYS better than cure), as well as the REAL signs you should be looking for if your husband is stepping out on you. Better to know asap and nip it in the bud/deal with it, rather than let your husband have his cake and eat it, humiliating and hurting you when the truth comes out. Infidelity makes a joke of marital vows. Don't add insult to injury by being a part of that joke and turning a blind eye. That's not why you got married!!

Due to an overwhelming demand, I have started an organization called "Wife School" with all of you in mind. Having lived as the Other Woman for 14 years (not proud of that I can tell you) it blows me away to see how many wives LET their husbands cheat on them - either wittingly or unwittingly. WHY??? Ladies, never allow that 'space' to creep in between you and the man you married. Never allow a space in your marriage where another woman could walk in. And don't delegate your marital and wifely duties to another woman. That's just plain wrong.

The first rule of how to Affair-Proof your marriage is to "Act more like a Mistress than a Wife." Be there for him physically, mentally and emotionally. Treat your husband like gold and you'll automatically end up getting more of what you want too. There are many many more rules and tips. For more information, or a chance to enroll at Wife School, please email me at sarah@sarahswifeschool.com.

I urge you all to beat these cheats right out of your sheets, while enjoying being a wife at the same time. Make your husband want to come home to you, rather than have to come home to you. Huge difference. For everything else there's Wife School. Get your wife skills on!

Peace
Sarah J. x

Summer Blues???

Sisters, for any of you 'suffering through' the long summer months, the time when your MM is away on vacation with his family, for God's sake get out!!!! Read the 13 steps of the Mistresses Anonymous programme below, and act upon them. Life is too short!! Take these 13 steps to freedom and reclaim YOU!




The 13 Steps and traditions of the Mistresses Anonymous Program.



1. You admit you have a problem - That your life is out of control due to living as a mistress in despair of her affair.
2. Fully commit to reclaiming your life from this skid row of relationships, from this toxic love and from the toxic married man.
3. Set goals to stop all communication with your MM (married man) and throw away everything that reminds you of him.
4. Make a list of all the things you have given up to be with your MM during the affair
5. Make inventory of all the lies he has told you and the empty promises he has made to you
6. Make a list of all the family and friends you have lied to and come clean to them.
7. Attend MA meetings and find a sponsor to keep you strong
8. Actively monitor your goals. Empower yourself. Work hard to regain your personal power, self-respect and self-esteem.
9. Practice being single. Go on a date a week with a single guy
10. Fully commit to NEVER allowing yourself to being second best again!
11. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in misery
12. Actively follow the 12 steps and share the MA message with others
13. Enjoy a nice cold glass of #13 (aka Chardonnay) you deserve it.

Narcissism And The Cheating Married Man.

Sistahs
I recently told you about the pathological traits a cheating married man will display, as well as officially naming the "Three Types" of cheating-married-man. Today on the Pillow Talk Blog, I'm going to alert you to the narcissistic traits of the cheating-married-man, so read closely to save yourself valueable time, and, my stellar advice would be not just to walk away from this type of man, but to run from him!! We as women often can't help falling for the smooth-tongue of the well-practised narcissist, but by the time you've learned their true colours you're hooked, and probably hurt by this "N word" of a man!!

Promiscuity is a key behavioral sign of a narcissist, as they are always looking for the bigger better deal (BBD) - i.e. taking on a mistress or multiple sexual partners outside their marriage. And the more committed the narcissist feels his wife/partner is to him, the more willing and likely he will be to cheat. Usually because they feel they will be able to get away with it easily. (Wives, you need to come to my Wife School here, to know THE REAL signs to look for if your husband is cheating on you, as well as my proven tips on how to affair-proof your marriages.)

Narcissists often appear as charming men, making them attractive while allowing them to get away with some unsavory antics under the veil of having such a "charismatic air" about them. Narcissists, when on the prowl for an extra-marital affair, will usually attract women who crave drama (i.e. The Mistress, or The Mistress in Training, *MIT*) as well as the woman who is a care-taker, the one who thinks she can 'fix him' and erase his negative traits. They also like to go for the hottest women they can find, because they believe such women will be insecure and therefore the most susceptible to their manipulative tactics!!

The true narcissist will display traits such as vanity, entitlement and exploitativeness. They tend to talk loudly to emphasise their self-importance using great hand movements to back that up, and they are control freaks who tend to lose their charm when destabilized or threatened. They also like to belittle and ridicule others and they pick their vulnerable targets well. The narcissist will often argue and curse more than others, as well as using lots of sexual language. But hey, that's enough about Gordon Ramsay, the epitome of narcissism in the extreme. They also cannnot STAND criticism. This was proven to me once when I tried to gently tell Gordon that the food I had at his restuarant at the London Hotel in Hollywood was "kinda awful and the portions the size of cat food;" ....well my God did I get an ear full from him. Narcissists are insulted when told they are not brilliant.

Narcissistic-cheating-married-men on the prowl tend to have similar male friends, often called "Wingmen," (think David Beckham in Gordon Ramsay's case) with the same short term sexual strategies, meaning they can help each other in their quest to exploit women and find their prey for affairs or one-night stands.

So then ladies, if you are the Other Woman having an affair with a married man, the chances are he is a prize narcissist. Don't ever try to change him as he ENJOYS being one, but the more emotionally attached you get, the easier it will be for him to manipulate you, so as I first said above, don't walk, RUN!!
Wives, if you are married to a cheating husband, chances are you are married to the same type of prize narcissist that sends my girls over the edge and lands them at one of my Mistresses Anonymous support group meetings - proving what I always say, that wives and mistresses have so much more in common with each other than they ever realize. They are both in love with half of a married man who is lying to them, while he is getting the best out of two women. Come on ladies, wise up. Don't ever be in love with a man who loves himself more than you!

Hugs
Sarah J. x
*This blog posting was influenced and inspired by an excellent article I read in this month's "Psychology Today" magazine.*

The Psychopathic traits in a cheating Married Man.

Greetings all.

Another day and another topic for the People's Infidelity Analyst!! So today Sistahs, I want to share something interesting with you, something that I read in the brilliant PSYCHOLOGIES magazine this month; Something that got me thinking. The piece was actually about "how to spot a Psychopath" (always handy to know as we go through life eh) by way of describing some of the traits they typically exude. The piece was made even more interesting by the fact that they liken crazy men (i.e. psychopaths) to the type of man who has propelled himself to be an extremely successful CEO! You know the way my mind works by now, so when I read the article I couldn't help but notice that there are many similarities between the traits of the psycho, and that of the cheating married man (especially Types 1 and Types 2 of the cheating married man variety.) It's quite scary, but read on to find out some of the main traits that the psychopath, the CEO.... AND the cheating MM share!

1. A Grandiose Sense of Self-worth. No explanation needed here. "Entitlement to cheat," as we refer to it over here at Infidelity HQ.

2. Believing in Yourself and Being Cunning and Manipulative. This is backed up in the piece by one CEO, Al Dunlap, who states, "That is what makes for good leadership - manipulating people to do what you want them to." *Enter the manipulation tactics of the MM here.* Those deceitful skills he uses to keep his wife in the dark, while manipulating his Mistress to stay around 'just long enough' to help the longevity of his marriage. Real life example here, Ian Tosser Todd once told me that I was 'very manipulative.' I really did LOL at that one at the time, as I told him that 'I had learned it from the best.' (i.e. him - as he is a sports agent at IMG and manipulates people for a living.) Being the Type 1 cheating MM meant that Todd was the classic narcissist too, so he was "very proud" of my retort back to him. Priceless eh.

3. Absence of Deep Emotions. This one is brilliant, as no cheating married man wants to be burdened with that heavy load of emotion. All that emotional claptrap eh. As I say in my Handbook for the Other Woman, cheating married men don't have a conscience as it would be too heavy for them to carry around. It would weigh them down during their already very very busy day!

So the moral of this blog is to take note sistahs. All of you. That goes for Wives, Mistresses, Girlfriends, and Fiancees. The Pillow Talk Blog is THE blog that keeps it real. And, watch out men, as I'm exposing all your little secrets - and your duplicitous tactics - for my global sisterhood to see. Soon we will be immune to any tricks you try to pull on us. End of.

Hugs
Sarah J x

The Three Types of Cheat: 1, 2, 3!!

Well Sistahs,

I'm glad so many of you liked my blog about Randy Ryan Giggs, the "Pig in Football Boots." And by now, most of you will know that I have officially recorded the "Symonds Says" version of, "The Three Types of Married Men That Cheat." You'll have seen that Ryan Giggs falls under the category of "Type 1," - The Serial Philanderer, for whom one woman is never enough, however good his marriage might be. The serial philanderer is also a classic narcissist (think Gordon Ramsay for example). And you will notice that most male celebrities - when exposed for cheating - fall into the Type 1 bracket, especially as they have money, as we all know, money buys power (and lots of hotel rooms and fancy dinners and drinks too....!!). To clarify, Type 1 is the married man who should have NEVER got married. The type who is usually cheating while even preparing for his wedding, then who needs a multitude of women on-the-go whilst married to satisfy his huge ego, however good things may be at home. Most Type 1 MM's become unmarried by the time the fiasco is over. Think of Tiger and Arnie for examples of this.

Now, I've been asked to list Types 2 and 3 too. So here you go. Beware to stay well away from Types 1 and 2 as they are extremely toxic, and with Type 3, unless managed properly, with strict guidelines and objectives (followed up with goals and ultimatums) will just break your heart. Don't EVER let that happen ladies. You are waaay too good for that.

Type 2: This is, "Mr. Wants to Have His Cake and Eat it." This is the married man who actually loves his wife, and enjoys his marriage, home life, and their social life together. He would never dream of leaving her -or all that - ever. However, Type 2 needs to spice up a marriage that has become familiar and stale so he takes on another woman on the side to help keep his marriage ticking along, and to provide the sex (or variation) that he may not be getting at home

Type 3: This is the "Genuinely UNhappily" married man. Either he married the wrong person/for the wrong reasons/the marriage has become unworkable. When/if he does meet the RIGHT woman he'll have the integrity (for ALL concerned) to get out of his marriage in a timely & decent manner, and make a new life with the woman of his dreams. Many Type 3's go on to have successful happy 2nd marriages and extended families.

So just to recap (and cut out and keep this as a crib note in your handbags Sistahs) Type 1: is The Serial Philanderer. Type 2: is "Mr. Wants to Have His Cake and Eat It." And Type 3. is the genuinely unhappily married man who wants out.

Peace and Hugs
Sarah J x

The Infidelity Analyst's take on Weinergate.

Hello troops,

Well, what a week for male celebrity cheating stories, from Ryan Giggs to Anthony Weiner and his misdemeanors! Although I've had as much fun as everyone by ribbing him and using him (and his unfortunate surname) as the butt of many jokes, I do think it's time we all got off our high horses, and came down from our lofty moral high-ground for a minute and I will explain why. After all, it's my duty to do so as your Infidelity Analyst.

First of all, lets be clear on something, YES, what Weiner did WAS cheating. You can examine and analyze that all you like, but the simple answer is that if your husband is getting an erection for another woman, and errrm, shall we say, having a "happy ending" out of it too, then I'm afraid people it IS cheating. The only time it is NOT cheating is when a wife or partner knows about it and lets her spouse get on with it. Seems that is not the case here with Mr. and Mrs. Weiner based on his tearful public apologies to her (yawn).

The thing that Weinergate has done, is to highlight the endemic of married men who are living in marriages where they are sexually UNsatisfied. The plethora of married men who wait for their wives to go up to bed (urging them to go up as early as possible to "get some rest") so that they can get their boxer shorts out, log onto their favorite porn site, and sext and text with their mistresses - or just random women on line - who may be awake and 'up for it.' I challenge many of you not to have ever sexted/texted with another person late at night. I know I surely have. But more of that another time. And to be even-handed here, let me also qualify that many wives CHOOSE to go up to bed early, to be asleep (or feign sleep) by the time their husbands come up, worried they may 'bother them' to have sex. A quick release downstairs at the computer usually sorts out that botheration though.

Weiner was ridiculously stupid to go this far in his position, and his judgement off-the-radar in thinking this would never come back to haunt him. I mean, all this stuff is logged, from FB messages, photos, emails, pictures, and phone calls... I can assure you that most women in these situations keep everything, and I know that for a fact.

The thing that makes me feel so sorry for Weiner, and men like him, is that he WAS so desperate for attention. So DESPERATE for his sexual voids to be filled. It speaks volumes about his marriage and their sex life. Also, the fact that his wife is on the road for a huge chunk of the year, with her high-powered job as Hilary Clinton's aide (oh the irony THERE) means that the poor guy was just looking for a bit of hand relief late at night. Where was Mrs. Weiner eh? Libya, Afghanistan? Oh and those pictures of him home alone, sitting on the sofa, his fluffy little cat next to him. There are millions of married men who are that lonely late at night too.

So, to be clear, I am not blaming anyone in this story, blame is not a word I use, however, Mrs. Weiner needs to take a long hard look at WHY her husband felt compelled to do these things, and why he was NOT doing them with her. Also, him standing up there crying and apologizing will not get him far, as while he may seek the public's atonement, it doesn't get down to the root of what is missing in his life sexually.

My advice for anyone getting married (and theirs was a new marriage) is to marry someone you can be YOUR TRUE SELF with. If you like to dress up in red stilettos every night and swing from the chandeliers, and you marry someone who a.) doesn't know that, or b.) would have no part of that, then you will NEVER be happy and satisfied, and will ALWAYS seek out a secret outlet with someone who is willing to meet you on that sexual level.

And this is exactly why I have just started a new organization called Wife School, to school wives up on how to be the best wives they can, how to NOT be cheated on, and how to affair-proof their marriages. Basically, "How to Live Your Best Wife!" I'm excited about this new venture.

Peace, as ever
Sarah J x

Legs 11; Ryan Giggs - a cheater in Football Boots.

Dear all

As the World's foremost Infidelity Analyst, it's time for me to weigh-in on the Ryan Giggs situation - or of the current situation so far!

Let me start off with the fact that there are three categories of men who cheat; I call them "Types 1, 2, and 3." Ryan Giggs definitely falls into the Type 1 bracket. Type 1 is the "Serial Philanderer." However good his life - and his marriage - the serial cheat will always need numerous women on the side to help fulfill and boost his huge inflated ego and his sense of entitlement. Most married, male, celebrity cheats fall into the Type 1 bracket. Tiger Woods was a classic Type 1 cheater too. These are men surrounded by too much money and too many temptations. They are never satisfied with 'just one' of anything. I mean, imagine a Footballer (a Manchester United one especially) having just one car, one holiday, or one tattoo?! Never. So why are we then shocked that one woman is never enough for them. I truly believe it is in the premiership footballer's DNA to cheat, and some would say their wives and girlfriends (aka WAGS) know this and expect it to take place. We can safely say that they are rarely disappointed - and with the most respected man in football having cheated, this is prime example. It also seems the rule of thumb is that WAGS always stay with their cheating husbands. I guess in their world there is nothing that a new Range Rover, or a "make up trip" to Dubai won't sort out.

The case of Ryan Gigg's affair is a little more shocking than most though. The fact that he was cheating with Imogen Thomas is one thing (and also rumour of another woman/women too) but to also be cheating with his sister-in-law?? Wow, that just breaks every rule in the book. This not only damages his marriage but also his whole family too. Not to mention the "family image" he worked so hard and to create. What a fake! But let me just put on record the amount of pathological behaviour, and duplicitous tactical skills it takes to carry out such a lie for EIGHT years. If only his skills had been as good on the pitch he might have been able to score for us against Barcelona a few weeks ago.

We now know Giggs is a pig in football boots - especially since today's rumour that he even tried it on with his Mother-in-Law too, what a charmer eh! - and we know that Imogen Thomas will have the "typical mistress story" to tell, but the woman I would love to hear from is his wife, Stacey Giggs. I'd LOVE to know why she is staying, just how she forgives a cheat at this level, as well as ask her if she 'really did NOT have a clue??'

Watch this space.
Peace and hugs all
Sarah J x

The 13 Steps of the Mistresses Anonymous Program.

The 13 Steps and traditions of the Mistresses Anonymous Program.



1. You admit you have a problem - That your life is out of control due to living as a mistress in despair of her affair.
2. Fully commit to reclaiming your life from this skid row of relationships, from this toxic love & from the toxic married man.
3. Set goals to stop all communication with your MM (married man) and throw away everything that reminds you of him.
4. Make a list of all the things you have given up to be with your MM during the affair
5. Make inventory of all the lies he has told you and the empty promises he has made to you
6. Make a list of all the family and friends you have lied to and come clean to them
7. Attend MA meetings and find a sponsor to keep you strong
8. Actively monitor your goals. Empower yourself. Work hard to regain your personal power, self-respect and self-esteem.
9. Practice being single. Go on a date a week with a single guy
10. Fully commit to NEVER allowing yourself to being second best again!
11. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in misery
12. Actively follow the 12 steps and share the MA message with others
13. Enjoy a nice cold glass of #13 (aka Chardonnay) you deserve it.

Vancouver IS the Infidelity Capital of the World.

Well well well....I have only been here in Vancouver for a week, but I can certainly tell you that this city is a HOT BED of infidelity. I have been inundated with Sisters of the Mistresshood writing to me and coming to my Mistresses Anonymous meetings. With two MA meetings done, and two still to go in Downtown Vancouver tonight and tomorrow, we can certainly say that the Infidelity Analyst is being kept very busy. Who would have known that in Vancouver it's not a case of Sex and the City, but more like Infidelity and the City!!

I'm off to meet tons more sisters of the mistresshood at my MA meeting in a few hours. Lots are showing up tonight because they are free to, since typically - the life of a Mistress - means you are always available and alone on Saturday nights! Update you all soon.
Keep the faith
Canadian cuddles
Sarah xox

Greetings from Vancouver...

Sisters of Vancouver, hello!!!
I hope you will all tune in to "The Dr. Phil Show" tomorrow and Wednesday, broadcast here on CTV channel, where you will see some of our very brave sisters of the mistresshood telling their stories. I'd love to hear from any of you, both in Canada and America, who would like to be a part of other TV show's I am doing, as well as let me know if you are interested in me coming to your city and State to rescue YOU from living the life of "A Mistress!"

Write to me in confidence and I will reply personally.
Keep the faith
Hugs,
Sarah x

Va Va Voom Vancouver!

Calling all sisters of the Mistress-hood in Canada...

Infidelity Expert and infamous ex-mistress, Sarah Symonds will be in Vancouver on May 5, 6, 7 & 8 to host Canada’s first “Mistresses Anonymous” workshops
Sarah has been featured on Oprah, The Dr. Phil Show, The View and Larry King Live to share her experiences and discuss how mistresses can break free from the despair of an affair

Vancouver, BC April, 2011– UK based author, broadcaster, journalist, and the world’s first and only “Infidelity Analyst,” Sarah Symonds, will be in Vancouver to host a series of free “Mistresses Anonymous” workshops, the first of their kind in Canada. The workshops will offer mistresses life-changing advice based on Sarah’s own personal experiences, and give them the tools to help them break free from their toxic relationships. Sarah would like to extend an invitation to women trapped in affairs with married men across the lower mainland to attend her confidential workshops in Vancouver, Burnaby and Surrey on May 5, 6, 7, & 8. The day before the workshops kick-off, you can catch Sarah’s latest network television appearance on “The Doctor Phil Show” on May 4th.

Following her groundbreaking appearance on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” in 2008, Symonds has appeared regularly on the popular shows “The Dr. Phil Show,” and “Larry King Live,” plus “The View,” “Dateline NBC,” “What Would You Do?,” to name a few. Sarah’s hard-hitting, straight-edge approach makes her hot property on the talk-show circuit and she is frequently called upon by the news media to comment when stories break about celebrity marriages being rocked by affairs and sex-scandals.
From London to Los Angeles, Sarah has worked with numerous mistresses by offering support, advice and a safe haven for women to discuss their experiences in a confidential, non-judgmental environment. Known for her own high-profile celebrity affairs, Sarah, the now reformed “other woman,” has vowed to help other women trapped in similar circumstances. Sarah states, “I know all too well the heartache and frustration that comes from living a double life as the girlfriend of a married man. I’ve made it my mission to help the sisters of the mistress-hood break free.”

Sarah’s first book, the controversial self-help manual “Having an Affair? A Handbook for the Other Woman” attracted huge media attention in 2007, making her a real life “Dear Amy” overnight success. Since then, Sarah has cultivated a massive following of women, all seeking her advice on complex relationships. She continues to stir the minds of millions of women with questions on how to get out of toxic relationships.
In addition to managing her “Mistresses Anonymous Support Group,” Sarah has hosted her own weekly LA radio show, “Between the Sheets,” which she created, wrote and co-produced. Sarah also writes a relationship advice blog called “Pillow Talk” and is currently penning her memoirs, as well as writing her next self-help book.

For more information or to reserve a seat at the free Mistresses Anonymous workshop, please visit www.MistressesAnonymous.com .

Sarah Symonds is available for interviews in Vancouver May 2nd – 4th. Prior to these dates, Sarah is available for interview by phone from the U.K. For more information and to schedule an interview, please contact:
Lesley Diana – The Promotion People lesley@thepromotionpeople.ca 604-726-5575

A Mistress in Wife's clothing....

Sisters
I have an amazing story that I just have to share. Talk about truth being stranger than fiction.

Ok, so, a friend of mine recounted a story about the time when she went away with her married lover. For the sake of this story, lets say they went to the Caribbean (it was pretty close.) My friend - the mistress - lets call her Jane, had jumped at the chance to go away with her man, lets call him Bob. And although Bob was actually travelling on business, like many of these randy married men, he had taken Jane with him on expenses. As their plane touched down, Bob told her that his friend, a work peer, was picking them up at the airport and that he'd really appreciate if she could 'pretend she was his wife.' His wife was short, homely, and overweight (Jane had seen the photos) and Jane was anything but!!! However, as any mistress will tell you, it's all about covering for your man, so she went along with it.

That night, Jane and Bob joined the friend and HIS wife for dinner at a local restaurant. Bob had pleaded with Jane not to give the game away, and dutifully she sat there all night pretending to be Bob's wife, talking about THEIR two kids, and saying all the right things (*Note to readers, what a cad to make her do that, and to belittle his wife in that way at the same time!). She says the evening went well, as well as could be expected when you are impersonating someone else I guess. Jane recalls that the friend's wife was pleasant, although a little boring.

The NEXT night, said friend invited them out to dinner again, but this time meets them first for a drink and takes Jane to one side, begging her to do him a favour. Are you ready? He wanted to tell her that this night it would be his mistress - not his wife - joining them, and he begged her to be ok with it. Seems the begging was becoming a pattern! Jane can handle most things and is not very shock-able, but now she was impersonating a wife, when she was really a mistress, and was about to have dinner with a man and his mistress, while only having met his wife the night before. Can we say complicated??!!

Jane and the mistress got on great. Well of COURSE they would eh!! They were both having an affair with a married man, yet Jane had to keep quiet about her part in that. She tells me the mistress was half the wife's age and totally stunning. Throughout the rest of the trip, the man kept thanking Jane for her discretion, while telling her he just WISHED he had the type of marriage that she and Bob had so that he wouldn't have had to take a mistress on. Meanwhile, Jane was pleading with Bob to put the guy out of his misery by telling him the truth about them, and that Bob was just the same as him, that Jane too was his bit on the side. But no, Bob kept his lips glued tight.

Fast forward a year or so, and this friend came to London on business. Bob felt he should repay his courtesy from the trip, but this is where it gets awkward. This time, on home turf, Bob's REAL wife had to be invited along for dinner, meaning Bob FINALLY had to come clean to his friend before they all met up. Ironically, Jane and Bob had finished their affair around the same time. Jane contacting the friend - as all mistresses generally do - and telling him how awkward she'd felt at lying during the trip, and how relieved she now was that he knew the truth. The guy, who by now had met Bob's REAL wife, went on to tell her that Jane and the wife could not be more different!! Yet til this day, Bob is STILL married, STILL professing to be a good husband, and STILL seeing Jane on and off (but now its totally on her terms and when it suits her to do so!).

For any of you who have read my book, you might like to know that Jane, is actually Mistress B....
To be continued...

Peace
Sarah J x

Mistresses Anonymous meeting in LA

Yo, all sisters of the mistress-hood, due to popular demand I am planning to host a live MA meeting in LA in a few weeks. Please write to me if you'd like to attend. Even if you are from outer state, we might be able to arrange something. Contact me in confidence on sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com or just leave a comment here too.

Keep the faith
Hugs
Sarah J. x