Sunday, October 16, 2011

Do NOT bury your heads in the sand, Sisters!

Although I haven't written my blog for a while, I've been busy hearing from many of you all with love dilemmas of one sort or another, and, it got me to thinking. Yes I am known for my work with Mistresses - who want to become EX-Mistresses - and yes I am the Founder and CEO of Mistresses Anonymous, but, since so many of you write to me with issues of trust, deceit, or confusion, about men, and many of them being men who are not actually married, it got me to thinking how the whole of the sisterhood need to embrace each other, to work towards being happy and fulfilled, not second best,duped, dumped, or humiliated. I welcome you all, whether you are Mistresses, Ex-Mistresses, Wanna-Be Mistresses (I'll soon knock THAT out of you if you are) or Single Women looking for Mr. Right who NEVER want to be duped into becoming a Mistress. That's the worst by the way!!

Many women want to hate me, but there is no need. I am here to help. My colorful past has given me the tools to make sure YOU don't waste valuable years with the wrong man, whether he be married or just be "Mr Unavailable" in other ways. And remember, when a man cheats he is bringing his own house of cards down with one fell swoop of his penis. This business of "The Mistress is a Homewrecker" tripe is a load of rubbish. If you knew how many homes that Mistresses actually (unwittingly) KEEP together, while rotting to their very core privately, you'd think differently.

So Ladies, we all need to do our Due Diligence on any man that walks in to our life. I am currently doing mine I can assure you. And Wives, yours should be ongoing, as a woman wrote to me here recently, to say that while she wasn't blind to the signs that her husband was cheating, she just wasn't 'looking for them.' Sadly they hit her in the face and she now knows what she could've found out ages ago.

To my Single Sisters, a woman wrote here recently to say she'd 'thought' her new boyfriend was single until 2 years into their relationship when he went and picked up with another woman. And they weren't EVEN married yet. What a charmer. Another story that sticks in my mind is the Mistress having an affair with the 'soon-to-be-married' fiance. And the wedding of whom she which was in fact due to attend as a guest. Shame on her for being such a fool, yes, but how awful to be the bride about to walk down that aisle, about to marry a fully fledged cheat even BEFORE they took their vows.

I read an interesting article in today's UK Daily Mail newspaper. At the end of it they listed 20 signs of how to spot a Psychopath. The first 17 of them resonated with me from many men I've known and should have run from. If they do you, then you know you need to look into your relationships right now. Whether you're a Mistress, a Wife, A Single Sister, or an engaged woman, do NOT ignore the signs, as I can assure you, if you put your head in the sand, all you get is sand in your hair!!

Here you go. Keep the Faith and stay real.


1 Glibness/superficial charm
2 Grandiose sense of self-worth
3 Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
4 Pathological lying
5 Cunning/manipulative
6 Lack of remorse or guilt
7 Shallow affect (superficial Range or depth of feelings)
8 Callous/lack of empathy
9 Parasitic lifestyle
10 Poor behavioural controls
11 Promiscuous sexual behaviour
12 Early behaviour problems
13 Lack of realistic long-term goals
14 Impulsiveness
15 Irresponsibility
16 Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
17 Many short-term relationships

Sarah J. xo


Anonymous said...

Hello Sisters,

I need some advice. Are you obligated to tell the wife if you found out he was having multiple relationships and having unprotected sex with all of them? This isn't about revenge. Obviously I am extremely hurt and disgusted but now I feel horrible for the wife because I am convinced she knows knowing of his other life. Or do I just leave it alone and let her stay in the dark?

Sarah J Symonds said...

Dear Anonymous,
I'm leaning towards telling her Sister. Maybe anonymously even. She may well already know, but she may not too. How awful for you to have to find this out though sister-of-the -mistress-hood!! Although, proving my point that MMs who cheat often do it with more than one woman. So, no need for us to think we are ever the 'only' one in his life. What an arsehole he is though. Not only does his wife need to know, I'd say all the other women need to know about all the others too. Otherwise this man could be spreading disease as well as making unwanted babies. Ugh.

Think on it. Please let us know what you decide.
Good luck and stay strong
Sarah J x

Anonymous said...

As women of some experience and wisdom, we should be helping each other avoid the same painful mistakes. I thought of this blog when I read a funny but spot-on article today:

Be strong, my friends...

Anonymous said...

Great blog, love it, and the signs about the pyschopaths - gosh why do they fit so many blokes I know!

Anonymous said...

Well, she knows now. It turns out he had done this before (surprise) and she forgave him. She said she stayed for their three kids and that she thought their marriage became stronger because of it. She thought they were happy and had no reason to think anything was going on. He is obviously a better liar and manipulator than I thought to keep her happy and juggle many women on the side as well. (As we were talking her sent her a message saying "I miss you, come home soon". He is sick) I still don't think she seems to understand that he was carrying on with many women all at the same time, and probably still is, but I'm not sure she wants to admit that. I don't know why, but she contacted me telling me that they are going to work it out in therapy and that they owe it to the kids to make it work. She said that he told her a lot of what I said was a lie. I'm not sure I did the right thing but I guess she is going to believe what she wants to believe in the end. All I know is that, if it was me, I would want to know the truth. I think it is sad that he has been doing this for so long and there are probably so many others that she has no idea about. There are some really sick men out there. I guess he thought he was really never going to get caught? I don't think men like that will ever change and he will only do it again, whether it be to her or someone else. Sad.