Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Three Types of Cheat: 1, 2, 3!!

Well Sistahs,

I'm glad so many of you liked my blog about Randy Ryan Giggs, the "Pig in Football Boots." And by now, most of you will know that I have officially recorded the "Symonds Says" version of, "The Three Types of Married Men That Cheat." You'll have seen that Ryan Giggs falls under the category of "Type 1," - The Serial Philanderer, for whom one woman is never enough, however good his marriage might be. The serial philanderer is also a classic narcissist (think Gordon Ramsay for example). And you will notice that most male celebrities - when exposed for cheating - fall into the Type 1 bracket, especially as they have money, as we all know, money buys power (and lots of hotel rooms and fancy dinners and drinks too....!!). To clarify, Type 1 is the married man who should have NEVER got married. The type who is usually cheating while even preparing for his wedding, then who needs a multitude of women on-the-go whilst married to satisfy his huge ego, however good things may be at home. Most Type 1 MM's become unmarried by the time the fiasco is over. Think of Tiger and Arnie for examples of this.

Now, I've been asked to list Types 2 and 3 too. So here you go. Beware to stay well away from Types 1 and 2 as they are extremely toxic, and with Type 3, unless managed properly, with strict guidelines and objectives (followed up with goals and ultimatums) will just break your heart. Don't EVER let that happen ladies. You are waaay too good for that.

Type 2: This is, "Mr. Wants to Have His Cake and Eat it." This is the married man who actually loves his wife, and enjoys his marriage, home life, and their social life together. He would never dream of leaving her -or all that - ever. However, Type 2 needs to spice up a marriage that has become familiar and stale so he takes on another woman on the side to help keep his marriage ticking along, and to provide the sex (or variation) that he may not be getting at home

Type 3: This is the "Genuinely UNhappily" married man. Either he married the wrong person/for the wrong reasons/the marriage has become unworkable. When/if he does meet the RIGHT woman he'll have the integrity (for ALL concerned) to get out of his marriage in a timely & decent manner, and make a new life with the woman of his dreams. Many Type 3's go on to have successful happy 2nd marriages and extended families.

So just to recap (and cut out and keep this as a crib note in your handbags Sistahs) Type 1: is The Serial Philanderer. Type 2: is "Mr. Wants to Have His Cake and Eat It." And Type 3. is the genuinely unhappily married man who wants out.

Peace and Hugs
Sarah J x


Anonymous said...

i got involved with type 2 who has now left me broken hearted. i am so tempted to get revenge. is this a good idea? I am just unable to let go of the anger. please help me sistas of the mistresshood!

sarah J. Symonds said...

Dear Anonymous Mistress
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally understand where you are coming from on the topic of revenge. I also want you to really think long and hard about taking any action, due to the ramifications it can cause. My sincere advice would be to put this man to the back of your thoughts, and focus on something more healthy and that would enrich your life, rather than make it any more complicated.

Peace, love and hugs
Sarah J. x

Hannah said...

I got involved with a co-worker that said he was single, 10 months later I found out he was married. I told his wife about his infidelity and ended the relationship. He obvously was not happy and work life was a bit uncomfortable for both of us. It's been 9 months now and he pulled me aside after a meeting and said he misses me and wants to see me to talk. Should I meet him and hear him out.I can't believe a man would even try to reach ot to the woman that lashed out and complicated his marriage. Why would he even want to start go there again and am I crazy for thinking of meeting with him? It would be nice potentially for closure purposes.

Anonymous said...

I too, have thought of this at various times. I just pray that there is such a thing as karma (yes, I know I will have pay for my actions one day as well) but to see him walk off like nothing happened.....hurts. He told me his wife and him were just "best friends" and there was a lot "missing". Come to find out he send her texts ALL day saying...I'm thinking about you, I miss you tons, how are you sexy....it goes on and on but clearly not a friendship marriage. Plus, I found out he was juggling others at the same time as me. What a pig. Why do these guys exist! But yes, there is no reason to make anyone's life more complicated. Let's just pray that it will bite them in the you know what, one day!

Sarah J Symonds said...

Dear Hannah
Thank you for your comment and sharing a bit of your story. What a pig to lie to you and deny you of the truth like that. Yes, I do think you should meet him, but for closure purposes only. I mean, after so much toxic love, you have to detox and cleanse yourself of this man, and regain the healthy side of you so you can grow to a place where you stop caring and thinking about him, and start loving yourself again never to live in such a situation again. Good luck and keep me posted. And, if you do meet him, make sure you go looking FABULOUS dahling!!
Sarah J x

Anonymous said...

Just happended on yoursite. Reading some of the comments.
How do you stop caring and thinking of someone you were involved with? Does time really heal?

Anonymous said...

4 years here, help :(

Anonymous said...

There's a variation on Type 3 that is "genuinely unhappily married but with children"

This is a guy who will have every intention of leaving because he is and has been miserable, and then will crumble like a deck of cards the minute she threatens to take the kids away from him.

This was my experience, he told her he was leaving, she returned with that, and it ended us. I heard a lot about how he had to try for them, so that he could look them in the eye and say he did everything he could. That he would always love me blah blah.

We work together, but have avoided each other or otherwise never spoken of what happened between us for well over a year. It still breaks my heart to see him.

I would strongly advise to anyone who gets involved with type #3 who has children to treat him as type 2. The kids change everything and he loves them more than he does you (as he should) but it will ultimately mean he puts her and her feelings first and then it's no different than the other types.

His, woo ! said...

Wow, I'm Not the only one. My. Mm has two little girls, about a month ago after a

year of seeing each other he tells me, " I've decided to leave my wife for you, " I pictured that moment. And it never was a cinderlla story. Thank God. It was another one of those bullshit lines, on your list.

His, woo ! said...

My MM has two little girls, and I never expected him to leave her, because of them, but, after being with him. For about a year, he said my worst feared line, " I've. Decided to leave her for you " yikes.!!! Turned out to be another for your bullshit list of
lines. Whewwwwwe

Anonymous said...

No you shouldn't take revenge
You should self analyze to find out how you screwed up and didn't meet his needs
If he's really type 2 then he loved you
But you weren't a good enough wife

Anonymous said...

Today s Oct. 14/12.
I have been dumped by Type 2. ( after 2 years)
I heard him tell me he was not ever going to leave is life after our 2nd year together.
I am angry, sad and disappointed in myself. I have always said I would never get involved with a married man; as I was cheated on by my husband.

YIKES i finally allowed myself to love him after him telling me for 2 years he loves me.
this has only been a week and I am trying very hard NOT to answer the phone when he calls. So far this has not worked all week.(only a few times)
I will be stronger this week and NOT talk with him an dNOT be available for it is all about Him

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their

living the truth.
Peace out,