The REAL reason Liam Gallagher cheated on Nicole Appleton

Well well well, so we learn this week that Liam Gallagher has been sewing his rock-seeds outside of his marriage to Nicole Appleton, but hey, this is no shocker for anyone with a pulse. Now I am NOT blaming his wife (although how come she never took his surname??) for his adulterous ways, as you CANNOT control a man when he chooses to cheat, but, I am blaming Nicole for being the type of 'put up and shut up' wife that becomes the perfect- willing-victim to be cheated upon. Nicole did her initial 'rock-monster' training with no other than the complex and confused Robbie Williams. He, and his many addictions and neuroses, will have started to erode her self-esteem to the core, so that by the time an even bigger egotistical rock-monster (not star, you notice) like Liam Gallagher came along, she was ripe for the picking.

She had a career that was just about good enough to make her interesting to him, yet was failing badly enough to know he would be able to manipulate her into the woman he needed her to be - i.e. his fixer, enabler, and all-out-Mother-figure. That's what men like him - with addictions that deep - will turn you into. That poor woman became so used to taking a back seat, being stoic, and giving her husband 'the space he needed' that she has without question lost her own sense of identity. At Wife School, this is a woman we would refer to as a Mousewife. Liam knew that she would make the perfect Mousewife, and that is why he married her. Simple. End of. He knew she would make perfect wife material and be his 'constant' yet ask no questions of him, thus allowing him to continue to carry out his cheating ways, as he had always done, and no doubt was always planning to do in the future.

I have heard it said that Nicole is boring to the point of dull. I do not know her, nor if it is true, however, if it is, then those two never should have married in the first place. She will never be enough for him, and he will look for his thrills elsewhere, men like him always do. And, I am beyond sure that Liam has a VERY LOW boredom threshold. I wish that Nicole could have seen his past behaviour as a predictor of the future (he already has other kids from various flings) but she didn't, and she fell for the hype he fed her.

I am hoping she will not continue to be a Mousewife any longer, that she will show him the door and close it FIRMLY behind him. As for the woman who has decided to make a living out of giving birth to his shagchild. Don't even get me going on HER. Some women get jobs, some women get pregnant. Shocking I say.

Peace
Sarah J. xox

Open Letter to Nigella Lawson.

Dear Nigella
As Founder of Wife School, and as a 'Toxic Love Counsellor,' I have to write to you to offer you strength and support at this time. We have all seen the front page headlines today from your (hopefully soon to be ex) husband, and all I can say is what a pig he is, and what a coward. Nigella, I pray that you see this man for what he is. His actions are despicable. Not enough to physically abuse you in public, now he wants to verbally humiliate you too by 'saying he is divorcing you!' And, the CHEEK of him to expect you to 'stand up for his good name and character???!!' by defending his actions, and being 'oh-so-offended' that you didn't? My word. I've heard some things in my time, but this really takes the biscuit. Talk about a Narcissist personified!!

Nigella, I am beyond sure that you have tried your best to make this marriage work, as well as juggling your very successful career and bringing up your children too, and all while - in the early years - getting over the sad passing of your first husband John Diamond. They say that it takes 17 attacks on a woman before she leaves an abusive relationship. None of us know if there were more than this instance, but I am confident in thinking a control-freak like him will have made similar physical threats to you before. So I pray now that this is the time YOU walk away. It has been muted that you had an addiction to him, to this toxic love, and I know ALL about that, but you have to get past that now Nigella, and get on to a healthier path, without "MR. TOXIC himself" standing in your way. He will of course try to play his mind games on you, and play on your vulnerabilities now, and he will even try to use the headlines in the Mail on Sunday to win you back, but please stay strong and don't let him.

The Sisterhood are rooting for you all over the world. Please, don't go back to this life Nigella. This man is just a pig in smart shoes, as well as a bully, and now, as the world can see, a coward too.

Godbless, and wishing you strength to stand your ground,
Sarah xox

Hooray for (Mrs.) Hollywood

I just had to write this open letter to you Alexandra, to commend you on behalf of women everywhere. You have made the Sisterhood proud. You have acted with grace and dignity, in the face of what is a very public humiliation, thanks to your lousy cheating husband's antics.

Alexandra, at Wife School, I teach wives NOT to be a doormat to their husbands, or rather, not to be a 'Mousewife' as we call it at Wife School. You have proven that there's nothing Mousewife about you!! I can't imagine what made Paul do this, and how easily he was won over by Tinsletown, the TV world and Marcela, but I always say that losing a man is like a promotion. He wasn't good enough for you anyway and there is definitely something better around the corner! He's acted like a typical man, I mean, he didn't have to look far did he. His co-host? Oh please! He may only be a Baker - not a Chef - but my God it sure seems he carries the Chef-cheating-gene which I know so well.

I love that you're not just rolling over and taking this Alexandra, that you are filing for divorce and NOT taking him back. SO many wives, "Put Up and Shut Up," which is ridiculous as if you forgive a cheat he will do it again. That's guaranteed and proven to be true. I am positive this fling with his co-host won't last, and I bet he will be back to you with his tail (and other parts) between his legs before you know it. I'm hoping you will still stand your ground and tell him to 'bake off'!! He will try to win you back Alexandra, oh how he'll try, they always do. The chase will be his game. Especially when he can see how empowered, confident, and funny you have become without him. However, if you do end up divorcing him, I do urge that you never give up that brilliant surname. "Mrs. Hollywood" is priceless, and down the line it will act as a great reminder of a man who didn't realise which side his bread was buttered!

Stay strong, and stand your ground,
Regards
Sarah

School's IN for Summer.

Wives, I address all of you here today, and, rather urgently I might say.
The time of the year is upon us. The time to "catch a cheating husband." So, if you have any doubts, suspicions, or concerns, that YOUR spouse might be cheating on you, then you need to read and listen closely. If you care to of course.

This is the time of year when Mistresses yearn for their married lover who is off with the family on that 'dreaded' and 'oh-so-boring' summer vacation he says he doesn't want to be on. The time when he knows he has to somehow keep communication going with his Mistress-in-waiting, so that she will still be there waiting for him with open arms (and other parts) when he gets back from his intense family time. After all, the poor guy will need some release and some good times after being holed up with that wife he says he has "nothing in common with" (yawn!!). So wives, I urge you, watch your husband's movements this vacation trip. If he has to keep popping out to 'call the office,' be aware, and check his last numbers dialled. If he has to have some alone time, or needs to go play lengthy rounds of golf etc, whatever his reasons, if he needs to be alone then it could well be to have lengthy chats with his other woman (who, mark my words, will be giving him immense flack for being away with you and leaving her for so long.)

If you think I am making this up, don't. I had an affair with a married man once, who took the kids to Disneyland Paris on vacation. He feigned everything from conference calls to upset stomachs in order not to go on the rides with his wife and the twins, just so he could have the time to call me. Often. To tell me how bad a time he was having (yawn) but you get my point? Not fair to either woman, Wife nor Mistress!!

So wives, don't dig your heads in the sand this summer, as all you will get is sand in your hair. IF you have ANY doubts or concerns then sign up for my online Summer Wife School. Lets put those doubts to bed, once and for ALL!! Think of me as your factor 20, but for infidelity protection, not sun protection.

Peace
Sarah J, xox

The 13-steps of the Mistresses Anonymous Support Group.

The 13-Steps and traditions of the “Mistresses Anonymous” Support and Recovery Program, as used my live "MA" meetings around the world.

1. You admit you have a problem: - That your life is out of control due to living as a Mistress in despair of her affair.
2. You fully commit to reclaiming your life from this skid-row of relationships, from this toxic love and toxic married man.
3. Set goals to stop all communication with your MM (married man) and throw away everything that reminds you of him.
4. Make a list of all the things you have given up to be with your MM during the affair.
5. Make inventory of all the lies he has told you and the empty promises he has made to you.
6. Make a list of all your family and friends you’ve lied to and come clean to them.
7. Attend MA meetings and find an MA sponsor to keep you strong.
8. Actively monitor your goals. Empower yourself. Work hard to regain your personal power, self-respect and self-esteem.
9. Practice being single. Go on a date a week with a single guy.
10. Fully commit to NEVER allow yourself to be second best again.
11. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in misery.
12. Actively follow the 12 steps and share the MA message.
13. Enjoy a nice cold glass of step #13 (aka Chardonnay) you deserve it.

The 12-Steps of Wife School, teaching wives to act more like Mistresses.

The number one rule at Wife School is to act more like a mistress than a wife, i.e."Be Your Husband’s Mistress” Here are the official, simple, 12-steps to Affair-Proofing your Marriage!

1. Be the woman he married – He married you for a reason, he loves you, so be sure you don’t change into a different woman as soon as you’ve eaten the wedding cake!
2. Keep your appearance in check - Don’t pile on the weight after you get ‘comfortable’ with him, nor let your dress sense go. Looking good will help YOU feel better, as well as making sure your husband only has eyes for you.
3. Listen to him and be attentive - Be interested in him and how his day was. Stay up late to see him after he’s had a hard day at work, even if you are tired. Ask him how his day was, before unloading all your troubles (and not too many troubles!)
4. Communicating and the art of communication - Flirt with him throughout the day either via text, email, phone etc (*Note: that’s what all Mistresses do with your husbands*). Be fun and fun loving. Don’t nag! Ultimately make him WANT to come home to you, not HAVE to come home to you.
5. Be Intimate with your husband everyday – Preferably sex YES! But even if you don’t always feel like it, there are other things you can do. If you’re not sleeping with your husband, I guarantee someone else is! Even a hug and a kiss will be welcomed if you can’t go the whole way, but some form of intimacy is essential.
6. Put more friendship in your romance – Lighten up on the romantic side of your marriage. See your man as your best friend as well as your lover. That way you can really be yourself and be relaxed around him, just as you are with good friends.
7. Stroke his ego, and other parts – Men want to feel like men. They want to feel needed and wanted. Tell him how much you appreciate him, especially when he does something nice. Let him know you respect him as a man. And touch him. Be tactile with him.
8. Be Sexy – Even if you sit around in your sweatpants all day, be sure to change just before he comes home from work into something sexier. Oh and remember to shave those legs, and other parts.
9. Ambiance - Create an environment he will enjoy when he comes home. Focus on soft lighting, scented candles and gentle music playing. Maybe run a hot bath, or jump in a steamy shower with him. Have his favourite drink ready, or enjoy a glass of wine together. Hide the kid’s toys, and any other clutter.
10. Time Management – Never make the ‘kids your life.’ All you will do is alienate your husband. Try to manage your time wisely so that when your husband comes home you have time for him. Couples that don’t eat together, or spend the evenings together, generally grow apart. Don’t allow your husband to become distant or lonely, or a space will be created for another woman to walk into his life.
11. Cooking – Be sure to spend less time in the kitchen and more time in the bedroom, as the way to a man’s heart is NOT through his stomach, it’s actually more South of his waistband! A nice hot meal need not take hours so don’t ever slave over a hot stove. Be adventurous in the kitchen, but even more so in the bedroom.
12. Keep your own identity – NEVER be a doormat for your husband. Be a strong woman, and let him know that if he ever mistreats you, or cheats on you, you will not put up with it. Teach him to make sure he respects you, and that he will lose you if he strays. Also, have your own life and interests, so that you are not just ‘a wife.’ Otherwise you will have nothing to ever tell him or surprise him with. You should be willing to work for a relationship, but never suffer for it.

Revenge: Bitter or Sweet?

Sisters, I hesitate as I sit here to write a blog on THIS topic, as it is such a personal one to so many of us. I've been busy life-coaching mistresses OUT of their affairs this week as usual, and at least four of them all want to 'seek revenge' (i.e. they want to call 'the wife'). So here are my thoughts on the topic.

Generally, when you exact an 'act of revenge' it very seldom gives you the result you seek. In fact it can leave you hurting (and feeling more angry and bitter than you did before). Revenge is - at best - extremely unsatisfying, I know that from personal experience. However, I also understand the feelings of 'wanting to get even,' 'making him pay for what he did,' etc, the list goes on. It's almost as if there needs to be a revenge equation, something that would somehow balance the love-grievance, redress the balance, then enable the aggrieved party to be able to move on with the rest of their lives.

Sometimes there is nothing than can ever compensate for a romantic disaster or fallout, because let-downs and betrayals can leave you feeling like your whole world has collapsed, your heart and soul violated and abused. However, one remedy is starting a happy and healthy relationship with someone MUCH nicer (and SINGLE). So, rather than us pontificating about that age-old adage,"happiness being the best form of revenge," perhaps we ought to start saying that, "forgetting is the best chance of happiness." After all, THEY will always be cheats, but you my dear Sisters-of-the-Mistresshood, had a lucky escape from these men, and, to me that is revenge in itself.

Let me leave you with a posting from a mistress here on Pillow Talk, who describes her experience when she called a wife up for revenge, she says; "I was the other woman who told his wife about him cheating on her, because he wouldn't leave me alone. All she said was, "What do you want me to do about it?" She said, "The wife acted in the same way that he would when he used to berate or manipulate me." She went on to say that she 'couldn't believe her manner in which the wife spoke to her, and, that they deserved each other in her opinion.'

Get your heads out of the sand ladies, and stay true to YOU!!
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xox

The Valentines Day Survival Kit - For Mistresses AND Wives

Dear Sisters one and all, for the first ever time here on Pillow Talk, I am writing a blog for both Mistresses AND wives, as I believe there is no longer a definition between the two. If you are both involved with the same man, then you are both settling for less than you deserve. You are both sharing half of a man while he is getting the very best out of two women. You are both - literally - sleeping with the enemy and being manipulated by a skilled liar and cheat so that he can have his cake and eat it, having all his needs met. How does that make you feel?

Now, that said, The Day of Love is fast approaching, yes it's Valentine's Day next week. Here in the UK it happens to fall during school Half-Term, so the kids will be at home. This could pose a few pesky problems for some. For example, if you're a wife and a mother you may profess to be, 'too busy with the kids to bother about doing anything with your husband to celebrate Valentines Day!' Well, DON'T be too busy. This is the first rule of my Wife School (www.sarahswifeschool.com) that you should always make time for your husbands, in fact, 'Be Your Husband's Mistress,' make him feel loved and special. If you happen to be the cheating married man then it may be harder than usual to escape this year on the evening of the 13th, what with the kids being home. Hopefully this will make things very awkward for you. And for Mistresses, let this Valentines Day be your WAKE-UP call to get out of this redundant relationship with another woman's husband. If you are a British Mistress let it be an even bigger wake-up call, as since it's falling in Half-Term it will be just like a 7 day weekend for you, when your MM moans about how he has to be at home with the family!! You too deserve better! Way better.....

Signs and tips for Suspicious Wives this Valentines Day:
* He tries desperately to keep to his 'business dinner' on the 13th February
* Moody and distant around the 13th and 14th
* Pre-occupied with his phone and emails around this time
* Check for credit card receipts for an 'extra' bunch of flowers!
* Check for more money coming out of the ATM than normal (secrets are expensive!)
* If he says he is working late at the office on 13th Feb - CALL and check it out.

On a lighter note, if you have no suspicions, enjoy your husband and show him you love him every day. After all, a husband is for life, not just Valentine's Day. For all you Mistresses who will be sitting home alone on the 14th (and this year maybe the 13th too) pining for a cheat, I have one word for you, WHY?????

Peace
Sarah J. xo