A very happy new year to you all. I have heard from so so many of you during the holidays, and have helped a good few of you get out of your affairs. Isn't it wonderful to feel free of a married man, and the counterfeit happiness we once thought was real? I am so happy to have helped so many of you.
I do hope that for any current mistresses who were sad and lonely over the holidays (while your MM was quite the opposite, no doubt) that you will remember those feelings and use them as the catalyst to get out of this dead-end situation you are in, and realize that you deserve so much more!
Lastly, a note for the couple of ignorant men who left comments on my blog, after hearing me on a radio show; you are right, I shan't post them, as you are both too ignorant to have listened properly. If you had, you would have realized I am not being hypocritical at all, as I am no longer with a married man, nor do I ever plan to be again. So yes, when I put them down, I really do mean it, as being with a married man was the biggest waste of time I ever spent. Reading your comments to me came a very close second!
Peace sisters and see you at MA very soon!
Sarah J. x
5 comments:
ITs my first time visiting this site and im just so shocked... Shocked of how naive ive been.. im seeing a MM for the last 18 months and even though deep down knowing all the time that he's never going to leave his wife and 2 kids, i was ignoring the obvious. Everything i have read so far is so real for me.. but i have been stupid enough to block it out of my mind. I get so upset when he leaves to go home, when he cant talk on the phone, when im waiting by the phone for a call or text, how sad is that!! But ive tried desperately several times to end it but he knows how to play me.. this has completely given me the strength i need to end it, to see others go through the very same thing, i felt so alone before. Thank you to ye all x
I have been having an emotional and physical affair with a good friend of mine for 4 years. We are both married. My goal, for this year, is to let this man GO for GOOD. I will always be friends with him, we all hang out and he is friends with my husband, but for some darn reason I allow this man to have my heart and it aches so bad. I have told him I want him all for myself so many times. We both know we won't get divorced while our kids are young. We have a good friendship so it makes it harder. If a bunch of us friends are all together watching, lets say a football game or having a game night, he's the one asking if I need anything.."you need a drink?...you want to sit here? Can I get you a chair?" Right in front of everyone, when my husband should be doing that. I hate that I care for this man so damn much. I told him I know I'll never get what I want from him. And so I need to let him go. He rang in the year 2010 quite well by telling me he loved me for the first time. I cried cause as much as I knew it wasn't real, it was hard to hear. We discussed this. He said he always knew he would say it someday. I just keep telling myself all the things I read on this site from other girls.
1. He will never leave his wife...especially for me.
2. He is just using me to boost his ego.
3. He doesn't truly love me.
4. A real relationship with him is not only a fantasy that won't happen, but even if it did, we are to dishonest people who would never trust each other.
5. LET HIM GO
My goal is to fully release his grip from my heart and let it be free again. It could possibly be the hardest thing I've tried to do. I've loved this man since high school and I'll never have him. That's hard, very hard to swallow. But I have to love myself more.
MissMartini
What about finding strength in a sense of self-respect and decency? Forget your boyfriend's wife -- it's easy to blame her for neglecting his needs. Think about what it would be like to be an eight-year-old who finds out that her family is blowing up because dad is a weasel with a girlfriend on the side? Why would you ever, ever, ever, ever want to be a party to that?
Sure, if the guy is a weasel he'd cheat anyway, even if you walked away. Maybe he'd find someone else. His guilt is not your responsibility. But you're still an integral part of that triangle. What an awful role to take on.
@Anonymous Shocked Mistress: I am so glad you have seen the light and found this site, :-) Yes he will NEVER leave his wife - mind you, the reality is, that even if he did, you wouldn't REALLY want him. You deserve better than a cheat, as that is all he is. Upwards and onwards sister. Try to come to some MA meetings - link is on my homepage - 5.30pm EST every evening.
@Miss Martini. Yes you have to break this habit. You are both using each other as a crutch for what is really wrong in your marriage and using each other to sustain unhappy marriages. How about actually talking to your respective partners and trying to work things out, or even parting ways. Why live in misery?? So many adults tell me they wished their parents had divorced when they were younger and had found happiness separately, rather than cheating on each other and being miserable at home.
@Anonymous Wife: I try to advise women never to marry weasels as then they won't have to be with a man who cheats. if he wasn't a weasel he would have more integrity and would actually talk through any issues of neglect etc etc at home. A mistress and a wife actually have much in common. They are both sharing half of one man, while he gets the best of TWO women (sometimes more!). Sadly these weasels - as you so rightly call them - lie to us too. Oh, how they are "NOT married" for example? It took one of my mistresses a year to figure it out. She is in pieces. Took me a couple of months one time too. These weasels are GREAT at lying, haven't you heard??? They are especially great at lying to the eight year old children that you mention!
@Anonymous Shocked Mistress: I am so glad you have seen the light and found this site, :-) Yes he will NEVER leave his wife - mind you, the reality is, that even if he did, you wouldn't REALLY want him. You deserve better than a cheat, as that is all he is. Upwards and onwards sister. Try to come to some MA meetings - link is on my homepage - 5.30pm EST every evening.
@Miss Martini. Yes you have to break this habit. You are both using each other as a crutch for what is really wrong in your marriage and using each other to sustain unhappy marriages. How about actually talking to your respective partners and trying to work things out, or even parting ways. Why live in misery?? So many adults tell me they wished their parents had divorced when they were younger and had found happiness separately, rather than cheating on each other and being miserable at home.
@Anonymous Wife: I try to advise women never to marry weasels as then they won't have to be with a man who cheats. if he wasn't a weasel he would have more integrity and would actually talk through any issues of neglect etc etc at home. A mistress and a wife actually have much in common. They are both sharing half of one man, while he gets the best of TWO women (sometimes more!). Sadly these weasels - as you so rightly call them - lie to us too. Oh, how they are "NOT married" for example? It took one of my mistresses a year to figure it out. She is in pieces. Took me a couple of months one time too. These weasels are GREAT at lying, haven't you heard??? They are especially great at lying to the eight year old children that you mention!
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