Greetings all.
Another day and another topic for the People's Infidelity Analyst!! So today Sistahs, I want to share something interesting with you, something that I read in the brilliant PSYCHOLOGIES magazine this month; Something that got me thinking. The piece was actually about "how to spot a Psychopath" (always handy to know as we go through life eh) by way of describing some of the traits they typically exude. The piece was made even more interesting by the fact that they liken crazy men (i.e. psychopaths) to the type of man who has propelled himself to be an extremely successful CEO! You know the way my mind works by now, so when I read the article I couldn't help but notice that there are many similarities between the traits of the psycho, and that of the cheating married man (especially Types 1 and Types 2 of the cheating married man variety.) It's quite scary, but read on to find out some of the main traits that the psychopath, the CEO.... AND the cheating MM share!
1. A Grandiose Sense of Self-worth. No explanation needed here. "Entitlement to cheat," as we refer to it over here at Infidelity HQ.
2. Believing in Yourself and Being Cunning and Manipulative. This is backed up in the piece by one CEO, Al Dunlap, who states, "That is what makes for good leadership - manipulating people to do what you want them to." *Enter the manipulation tactics of the MM here.* Those deceitful skills he uses to keep his wife in the dark, while manipulating his Mistress to stay around 'just long enough' to help the longevity of his marriage. Real life example here, Ian Tosser Todd once told me that I was 'very manipulative.' I really did LOL at that one at the time, as I told him that 'I had learned it from the best.' (i.e. him - as he is a sports agent at IMG and manipulates people for a living.) Being the Type 1 cheating MM meant that Todd was the classic narcissist too, so he was "very proud" of my retort back to him. Priceless eh.
3. Absence of Deep Emotions. This one is brilliant, as no cheating married man wants to be burdened with that heavy load of emotion. All that emotional claptrap eh. As I say in my Handbook for the Other Woman, cheating married men don't have a conscience as it would be too heavy for them to carry around. It would weigh them down during their already very very busy day!
So the moral of this blog is to take note sistahs. All of you. That goes for Wives, Mistresses, Girlfriends, and Fiancees. The Pillow Talk Blog is THE blog that keeps it real. And, watch out men, as I'm exposing all your little secrets - and your duplicitous tactics - for my global sisterhood to see. Soon we will be immune to any tricks you try to pull on us. End of.
Hugs
Sarah J x
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7 comments:
Gosh, read that and thought wow that is my ex MM all over.
hello Sarah,
thanks again for wiriting this blog. I emailed you a few weeks ago after making the disasterous mistake of getting involved with a married man. He was engaged when i met him first and told him i didn't want to get involved but my heart ruled my head after hundreds of empty promises and loose/worthless words from him. But reading your blog is helping me to get stronger at times, especially if I am having a bad day when I am consumed with anger and disappointment. have you any more tv appearances etc coming up?
Many thanks!
I just wanted to say to "mcfeeleg"....I, too, have some terrible days when I feel consumed with anger, disappointment and sadness at how badly I've allowed myself to be treated...I know how you are feeling, and I hope we can all feel better soon. Chin up! xxxx
Hi Dorothy,thanks for your comment. I am feeling much better now. I can safely say I would never lapse back into my affair with my MM. I literally get such a bad taste in my mouth now if I think of him. Luckily (I use the term loosely), I only lost a year of my life so I am fortunate I didn't put my life on hold for years. But I am doing much better thanks to the camaraderie of the mistresshood :)
Well, I made it and you want to know how I did it in just 3 days? Keep reading, but first I want to tell you my story so settle in ladies because my story will sound alot like yours! I fell head over hills in love with my psychopath boyfriend..yep 6 years tricked into believing he was my forever. He was very nice to me. Although when he helped me out with a bill here and there, or bought me something, I realize now all he did was bare necessity to keep me hanging in there. I stil struggled alot and I shouldnt have. He was a cheater of the worst kind, never said he was sorry. He was nice but I saw his selfishness...ie; I struggled and he buys a boat, or my refrigerator is bare and he stuffs his with steaks, even though he ate at my house every night, my food, my cooking...then spent the nite with whatever would have him. Im a looker, no conciet intended, and I know now that he only wanted me by his side because I attracted female attention to him, you ladies know the kind of woman that would entertain a man just because he has a pretty woman on his arm, she wants to know what you have...its an ego thing and its degrading. There wasnt much to his looks or anything else but he was very nice. Be leary of very nice men! Check his motives. The way I got over him? ...I took a tablet, and on each page I wrote something he did ie; HE CHEATED ON YOU...HE LIED TO YOU...HE MADE A FOOL OF YOU...etc... I had 50 of them and I taped them up all over my house! Every room I entered I ran into the pain of how he treated me in reality. In just 3 days it got to a point I was so discusted, I knew I was better than this. Everytime I thought of him I went around readin outloud. TRY IT, it is the fond memories that keep our heart longing for him because psychopaths know how to be nice to the one he is decieving. And all the while you do this, look up traits of a psychopath and read up on it...it will tell you who he really is...set yourself free like I did!
My married lover told me to steer clear from his hotel one night because his wife was in town, but I couldn't resist a discrete peep at the woman he's been married to for 10 years (we've been together for 6).
I was devastated to spot him going into his hotel room with his pa.
Next morning when confronted he tells me a) his wife didn't come because her mother was sick. b) his pa had had a fight with her partner and needed a place to sleep c) nothing happened between them. He had no texts to prove either story cos all discussions had been phone conversations.
It's a heap of lies isn't it????
Yet I just can't finish it? What do I do?
Dump his worthless, lying ass! Keep telling yourself you're too good for him. Make up a fantasy man and tell him about all the wonderful things he does for you. Anything to get this guy out. Of your heart and head. The fact that he disrespects his wife the way he does should make you want to vomit. It did me. Trust me, it works to also encourage him to stay where he is. He thrives on you being hung up on him. Treat him outwardly like he treats you in his head. Like an option. He won't expect it. He'll just go to one of his other options. You're not the only one. Please believe me. He's a coward. He doesn't want the wife to know because it will make his comfortable day-to-day life miserable. Others may find out. The ego, the appearance of this "nice" guy goes down the tubes! I say find a way to let the wife know without identifying yourself. You don't want that drama. She deserves to know what a shell of a man she has for a husband if she doesn't already know. That part angered me morw than anything. Someone who treats their spouse nice when they are at risk of getting busted and then when he has her trust he goes right out and does it again.
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