An anonymous mistress has posted a comment on my blog of last week ("Text Book MM") saying how her affair with an MM works for her; that she keeps her emotions in check, and sometimes doesn't even answer his calls - bravo sister.
Reading her story has given me an idea for today's blog - since there are so many SUW's out there (a.k.a single unmarried women - for anyone who hasn't read my book) let's talk for a minute about the single life, and the benefits of living it. And as I always say, being the 'other woman' is pretty much like being a single woman anyway, since your guy is never around when you need him, especially on holidays and special occasions. But, the upside of that, is why many of us have affairs in the first place. We want a man in our life (especially if he is the drop dead gorgeous, unavailable type eh) yet we don't want to give up our freedom, nor become tied to domestic duties for a significant other. (In fact, many (savvy) mistresses think and operate more like men than they realize.)
As an SUW, think of the pleasure of coming home to a calm, restful space, that is undisturbed. Of talking on the phone to your friends all night, or watching re-runs of Sex and the City in bed with a large bottle of shiraz, all without the worry of anyone telling you what to do, how you shouldn't drink so much, or changing channels etc. Come on girls, we have heard it all before...
However, whilst I think that the SUW and OW should make the most of being home alone, I don't want you to get all dark and despondent about feeling lonely: so here are a few tips to make sure the single life is worth living:
- Do revel in the fact that you can watch whatever you want on TV, whenever you want to
- Don't find yourself still on the sofa at 2am every morning watching the 24 hour news.
- Do enjoy a drink alone of an evening, it is ok to drink alone you know
- Don't get sloshed, nor rely on alcohol as company!
- Do have a dog or a cat as a house companion
- Don't treat your pet as a child, or ever refer to it as you 'baby' (ugh!)
- Do revel in the fact that you can have long, relaxing, scented baths
- Don't ever get so happy being alone, that you forget to go out and have some fun!
6 comments:
I have been with my MM for almost 4 years and it is obviously going nowhere so I have also started seeing my ex-boyfriend. We were together for three years and broke up when I found out he was cheating on me (read his emails). The other day I found his journal. He writes that he does not think he has the capability of ever being faithful to one woman. Although I appreciate that he can at least be honest with himself I wonder: are there any faithful men out there?
I should mention that I do not feel the slightest bit of guilt about reading email, journals, listening to voicemails etc. It is sad to say but how else am I supposed to know what is really going on? I also have a keylogger on my computer and I recommend that every woman get one... unless they just don't want to know. What are your thoughts on that?
Also, I noticed that Mike from the Mike and Juliet Morning Show used the phrase "make an honest woman out of her" when referring to Camilla and Prince Charles. I absolutely hate that misogynistic saying! Who is being dishonest after all? and who gives him the power to make anything out her?
My MM once told me that he'd make an "honest woman" out of me... I almost made a dead man out of him.
P.S. you were great on the show!
Dear Anonymous "keylogger" - wow, you have had the misfortunate to be with TWO cheating bastards! You must live life constantly on the edge if you feel you have to check up on (the boyfriend) all the time. Is it worth it sister? I hope you are living your life to the full at the same time as playing private investigator.
They do tell me that there are great, single, faithful guys out there - don't know where they are hiding, because I have never met one!
What do I think of keylogger? I think - dump the cheat, then you wouldn't need it.
Keep the faith sister, and thanks for sharing
Sarah J. x
Dear "Mike and Juliet" show watcher...was it a repeat of the show? As I did that show late last October...
Anyhow, thank you for your comments - and yes, very well spotted regards to Mike. Loved your comments, and hey - who wants to be honest anyway eh?
Kisses
Sarah J.
I don't actually watch the Mike and Juliet show, there is a link to the episode on your website. To be truthful, I thought they were both awful, i.e. Mike saying that getting the best out the affair is "whorish" and Juliet wondered if affairs should be encouraged (implying that your book does this). They both also made some comments that placed most of the blame on the other woman. I think they both seemed judgmental and ignorant about the complexity and reality of human relationships and about your message. However, you stood your ground and did a great job.
I do not think your book encourages affairs, it merely admits that they do happen (quite often) and helps the "other woman" cope and make the best out of a situation that can be so destructive to her. I think you are really helping many women. Before I read your book I felt like a bad, emotionally unstable person and, because no one talks about this issue, I did not realize that my feelings were actually natural considering the situation.
Thank you for being brave and honest.
Dear Anon - thank you so much for visiting my site, purchasing my book, AND watching the link to the M&J show, it means a lot to me. You are right - I am NOT advocating affairs, in fact quite the opposite. However, since so many of us fall in to them, or choose them, and as you say, since they are a part of life - I am just trying to break the shell of hypocrisy around them.
The other woman plays a huge part in society, yet she is anonymous by default, and has very few sympathetic ears to turn to. That is why I want to help any, and all, women who are embroiled in affairs - WHATEVER their reason for getting involved in them in the first place! (my story is that my MM didn't TELL me he was married in the beginning...Ugh!!)
Do keep in touch
Sarah J. x
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