Today I dedicate my blog to the lovely Anonymous Mistress who sent in the comment on my last blog entry below. Thank you sister! Now, I am assuming that after you called the wife, she DID of course stay with him right? - and just out of interest, will you be accepting your ex-MM's advances to try and come back in to your life - or has your other man filled his void :-)
Proud of you sister for following the rules, by dating other guys at the same time as your MM. That way you are never left alone, and at least he fills the time until the MM tries to come back to you, which he always does. What you do at that point will be your decision, and, as they say, 'may the best man win!' (And, note to sisters, if you have any trouble finding a spare MM, go straight to ashleymadison.com or ashleymadison.co.uk, where you will be totally spoilt for choice.)
I would love to hear from other Anonymous Mistresses....
Peace and Profits
Sarah. J x
11 comments:
I just finished reading your book, it was fabulous. I'm young..the type you'd think isn't a mistress, but I've had my share of M.I.T moments (Mistress in Training) No married men, but men with girlfriends, and I'll be honest, sometimes I knew about the girl and sometimes I didn't. I'm doing a performance piece on adultery and found your book very helpful in writing. Thanks so much!
~M.I.T.
Dear M.I.T - thank you for sharing. I hope your 'training' has beenusefull to your "performance piece on adultery" (what, exactly, is that all about sister?)
Do you plan to stay in training, or to become a fully fledged 'other woman?'
Kisses, Sarah J. x
I'm a theatre major and one of our assignments was to write about something that mattters to us. And one thing thats been a reoccurence in my life is being involved with guys who already have a someone. And I wanted to do a piece from the "other woman's" perspective, just things I've learned and how I feel about my choices. Its definately personal and soul-bearing, I've never talked in public about the things I've done.
It was also influenced by a certain man I am "seeing" right now. I'm 23, he is 27, his fiancee is 37. I don't know if I will continue into full fledged other womanhood, but I've certainly had enough training.
hearts
M.I.T.
Gosh M.I.T. - I bet your "unavailable man" loves YOU! I'd be thrilled to see the piece you wrote if you feel like sharing - as It would be interesting to get the young woman's perspective on this. Feel free to email me in complete confidence at any time to sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com.
NOTE TO M.I.T: Please keep your lovely young eyes wide open to hot AVAILABLE men while dating this one with the fiance in waiting (a F.I.W.? ha.....)
Keep the faith,
Sarah J. x
I would have no problems sending it to you when its done. Its a Vocal Masque piece, which means I've taken your words, words from plays, words from songs, the Bible, media, text books, poetry, and other sources, and combined them all into one piece about a specific theme, mine being "homewrecking"
I cite all the work I've incorporated, my professor insists on it, so that it doesn't look like I'm using someone else's ideas and trying to pass them off as my own. Once I complete it, I'll send you a copy.
The unavailable man is a friend of mine, we've known each other for years, its only been the past month or so that its become more than that. And my eyes are always open to available men, there are some in mind, but you know how it is..theres a comfort level with this unavailable one, he can't expect much from me because he can't give much. Its just what a busy girl like me needs right now.
<3
M.I.T.
Proud of you M.I.T. - Do keep in touch, and let me know how it all progresses..
Sarah J. x
Sarah,
I haven't been able to sit down and read an entire book for at least 3 years. When I saw your book online, I knew I had to get it. Someone else had to know what I've been going through.
I have been with my MM for five years. There has never been any deception: I knew he was married and I knew he wouldn't leave her. I just had to be with him anyway, no matter what. I have had my ups and downs (many of which you described in your book)but I've come to a realization. I'm in control of my own life. I don't get turned upside down if he doesn't call me...sometimes I just don't answer the phone when he calls. I guess I can be selective due mainly to the fact that I get to see him everyday during the week.
I wish I had read the book when this all started. I wouldn't have felt so alone and probably wouldn't have done the things I did. However, I don't think it would have prevented me from becoming involved with my MM.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I am not the horrible person I've imagined myself to be.
You are not a horrible person at all. You have made a decision on how to live your life, and you are keeping your emotions in check. I'm proud of you.
Thank you for writing, and for purchasing my book. Please just make sure that this 'relationship' always works for you as much as it does for your MM. don't get emotionally dislodged.
Kisses, Sarah J, x
Hi Sarah,
I am the ex-Mistress that wrote to you on the previous post and told you that I told my MM's wife.
Yes, she did stay with him. I find that fascinating. It is amazing how the world has changed since the internet, how easy it has become for married men to find women on the net. But that road runs two ways because thanks to the net, I was able to find his wife on Facebook, get her email address and write to her. A friend of mine called her office to confirm that the email address was correct.
I never heard back from the wife, but I did confirm that she got the mails. I sent her some of our correspondance so that my MM couldn't lie his way out of it.
The situation was so intense, I don't think I have ever experienced such an emotionally intense situation.
Now I am completely shocked that the MM has added me back to his MSN and Skype contacts and stays in a group that I moderate on a business networking site.
I don't know whether he wants to have contact with me to get back at me or whether he just can't stay away. I really wish I knew what his motivation could be.
It would be great if you could write more about the motivations of MM.
Dear Anon wife caller...
Yes I remember your story. Wow - you really did it! Sadly, I'm guessing that it probably didn't actually help ease your pain, nor bring closure to your heartache? - especially since your MM ended up staying with his wife, and OF COURSE she let him...
You are right - being the other woman (if you are in love with your MM) can be one of the most emotionally debilitating experiences ever. It certainly was mine. When I first started writing my book, I had the all too common mistress feelings of being a bad person, and emotionally unstable, etc - but since I have shared my story, and experiences, I have opened up the floodgates for so many other women to share their feelings and tell their stories too, and we all now know that these kind of feelings are completely natural, considering the situation.
That is why I beg of you all NOT to fall in love with your MM!! It will play havoc with your life, as he will never leave his wife for you, nor do any of the things he is promising you in your little 'fantasy talks.'
He has added you to his msn and skype because he does not want to let you go. The MM's, no matter what you do to them/their lives etc, will always come back, or will want to meet you if you instigate it. He has proved he is a liar and a coward - why bother staying in touch with him? I think you deserve better sister.
I will write more about the motivations for an MM tomorrow in my blog :-)
Kisses, Sarah J. x
I too have been having an affair with a man for three years. he is not married but has livd with his partner for 12 years. They have no children, his name is not on the mortgage. She is in essence his landlady! We are very much in love but for some reason he cannot bring himself to leave her. I have tried and tried to prsuade him but to no avail. I guess i will have to wait till the time is right for me to give him up
K
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