Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood....I am still wading through emails from you all, asking for my advice on what to do with your MM's. Too MANY of you are telling me you have fallen in love with your married lovers, saying that they are hurting you (which is why I tell you NOT to fall in love with them, hello?!) and recently, I've had a flurry of emails from other women who want to phone their MM's wives to personally expose them (as you know I did) that's how emotionally intense an affair can become. While I reply to you all personally, and I do read every word of your amazing stories - detailing your secret lives - I wanted to write today on a positive note about being a mistress, and how to be a damn good one!
If you are being a savvy mistress (if not - read my book, urgently) you will know exactly why you are choosing to have an affair with this needy married man, the one who is not having his needs met at home (or so he will profess: - and remember here, my rule, "to never believe a thing he tells you!"). You will be either dating him as a stop gap until you find the right single guy, and apparently they are out there (yeah right). Maybe it is just for the great sex (affair sex is always great isn't it sisters) or maybe it's just because it suits you not to have a regular relationship with a full time guy - and that's ok, but just make sure to keep your emotions in check, because the minute a mistress wants to be the wife, there is trouble ahead.
So, to keep this married man that you are enjoying having an affair with (sisters, please, no more crying over him - either enjoy him - or move on) you do have to treat him properly, and make it a joy to be with you. After all, thats why he came to you in the first place - for TLC and good times.
Below, I list some tips on how to show your MM you care (wives may get some pointers from them too).
- Have a nice (VERY SIMPLE) dinner ready for when he comes over to you - served of course, wearing nothing more than an apron, and some very sexy stilettos.
- Prepare yourself (NOTE: Always take longer on your preparation than the meal preparation). Be refreshed, smelling great, and looking fabulous! Always remember, you are in competition with the wife.
- Be happy to see him, greet him warmly, and show sincerity in your desire to be with him (fake the sincerity if you ever need to).
- Make sure your place is an oasis of peace, order, and tranquility. Where your married man can feel relaxed and renew himself in body and spirit.
When he leaves, revel in your time alone, get on the phone to available guys who will be free at the weekend, and slap on your night cream and old pajamas - all the things you must NEVER let him see. Let him think of you as a perfect goddess, and he will always be back for more. Of course, over the dinner you have (lovingly prepared, and served with a warm smile) make sure to talk about what's in it for you, so - plan that next trip abroad, the next swanky dinner at the hottest place in town, or mention those designer-shoes-to-die-for that you have seen; basically, whatever is important to you. It is all about the balance after all, and if you keep the affair working equally for both of you, you will have a far better time of it, I guarantee.......
3 comments:
Amen, sister! Couldn't have put it any better. I love your posts AND your philosophy.
So much for the stereotype of the hopelessly insecure, waiting-by-the-phone mistress plotting to be "wife II".
Let me see?... do I want to live in Suburban Hell, wash his socks, and cook for him? Or do I want great sex, my own time and space, and the very of him?
Yup, just as I thought.
If married women were smart, they'd bookmark your blog and learn a thing or two. I know why married men stray - they don't feel loved, appreciated, wanted, or needed by their wives.
They want to feel like their wives desire them, appreciate them, that they can still "save the day", that their wives crave them. Instead, they get nagged and ignored and emotionally castrated.
Ladies, your men want you. You're not listening. Listen -- and they won't need us as badly as they do.
Cheers,
Oh Dear Anonymous,
How funny, I wrote this post 2 years ago. I have moved on alot since then. However, I agree about the husband and wife needing to talk to each other and listen to each other more. But BOTH of them need to. Men need to realize that they can actually get everything they need from the woman they married, they just need to talk to their wives more, rather than running off to stick their penis in another woman!!
Whats your story?
Email me sister
Sx
hi! im a filipina, i have a boyfriend who's married already, his from Italy but his work is based most of the time in Asian countries. i met him in Singapore, and now im here in the Philippines and he is in China right now. We've been communicating since i left Singapore almost everyday were online 24 hours even we are sleeping the cam still is on, we wake up seeing other online. until now were doing that except when he is in Italy or with his family but he calls me when he have the time to escape from them. he also supporting me though i hate to be dependent to him, i always tell him i want to work. Im confused about his feelings for me i know i should not believe him, but all the things he have done to me, the risk he is taking, we have a continuous communication what can i ask for except he really protect his wife feelings to know about us. he said if his wife going to die or something will happened, he will go to me and he wants our relationship to be forever. im inlove to him and i believe what he tells me but sometimes i doubt. do you think he is true to me? this is the first relationship he had after 30 years of marriage to his wife. please give me advice how to say more stronger because i want this relationship to last. im ready to be a mistress forever
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