Sisters
Yes, it is that time of year again. The lonliest time in a Mistress' calendar. For those of you in love with an MM (thankfully I no longer qualify for that role) then it is the most emotionally crucifying time. (Note to my "American Mistresses" - you will have already had to deal with Thanksgiving, so I feel for you. I have been there, done that too!).
(*And, NOTE to any wives reading: - Make sure that the only thing your husband is stuffing this Christmas is, the turkey and you!!)
This is the time of year when the man you love is with another woman, and making Christmas arrangements with HIS friends and family, not with you and yours. I beg of your sisters, do NOT get sucked in by his excuses of how "he will leave his wife in the New Year," or, how he is "only staying with her because it's Christmas," and the icing on the cake of course, "I have to be there for the sake of the kids!" (He doesn't think of that when he spends the rest of the year lying to them!)
I do hope you will all be savvy enough to at least try and get out and meet new people, and bag yourself a single available man for the Christmas season, as well as the New Year!! ... Don't sit at home eating a turkey meal for one, followed by lashings of mulled wine, pontificating over 'what he is doing.' Get out there and start doing it for yourself. (Of course, do let your MM buy you a nice big juicy Christmas present first though :-))
I am hearing from so many of you now - as I always do at this time - as Christmas is the benchmark in a Mistress' diary; a chance to contemplate all that has gone on previously in the year, a time to take stock of it all. Some of your emails are heartbreaking, especially the one from Mistress E who is pregnant by her MM!!
So ladies, I pray you will find some comfort and joy this season. If you are having a tough time, remember, there is a chapter in my book called, "How to Survive Christmas as a Mistress." That will put it all into perspective for you. I wrote that from the heart, after the 'crappy holidays' I always spent being with Mr. X at Christmastime. An awful time of my life (and, even all the gifts couldn't take away the pain.)
Upwards and onwards though. Please keep sending me your emails and stories, and of course, feel free to share your comments on my blog where you will meet plenty of other 'other women.' I do read all of your comments and post them on site, so remember, if you want to remain anonymous, do not leave your name with your comment.
Peace and Profits, and Good Will to all Mistresses
Sarah J. xx
19 comments:
I really, really don't know whether I will survive it this time. Three years on with this guy and still I'm in the same position. I'm searching the web for advice, comfort...an answer...and finding none. I'm cracking up now with the strain of it all looming. He knows what it's doing to me. I won't have the strength to "get out" or "do it for myself" and as for finding a single available guy to spend it with...I don't want to spend it with anyone but him. I'm stuck. Royally screwed. Haven't got a flaming clue............
Hi Sarah!
As you know, I dumped my MM by moving away from the town he lives in. For the first time in 11 years...I am actually celebrating Christmas without caring at all what he does for the holidays!
This is all thanks to you, of course!
Happy Christmas!
Much love,
Cat
Dear "3 year mistress' - you have to realise now that the buck stops with you. He has proved to you that he will never leave his wife for you. Take note of his actions - they speak volumes!!! You have to move on sister, and not stay in the wings of someone who is living his life happily and freely.
Good luck and keep the faith
Sarah J. x
Heyyyyy Cat, darling, how are you. Thank you so much for your comment. So you DO still check my blog eh :-))
Well done you. I hope you have a healthy and happy Christmas without the ex MM - and even though parts of it will be rough and lonely, remember you are doing the right thing for you.
Take care and keep in touch, and I am privileged to have played a small part in the outcome (Sshhh...:-)
Sarah J. x
Sarah, I just purchased your book and I am devouring it! Thank you for writing it---the mistress waters can be very treacherous to navigate.
I guess I was lucky this Christmas---my MM managed to get away twice that day, and the second time he was able to attend a friend's party with me. :)
themistress
Dear Sarah,
I am from Brazil and here are my congratulations for your excellent blog and book!! I know that you are helping a lot of women of all over the world!!
I had the terrible experience to fall in love with a MM (of course I had some pleasure but most of the time I felt depressed, alone, hurt in my heart and body and guilty). In the begining of this month (after 4 months with him) I decided to finish the relationship. In the begining I suffered a lot (specially because he ignored me and stayed with his wife) but now I am happy and very well.After this horrible experience that I do not recommend, I really want to be involved and love only with single man. I read all things you wrote and I say to you that everthing that you wrote happened with me! It is true, the MM never leave their wives, they really want only sex and We (women) have to love ourselves and we deserve more than few moments!! Your blog helped me a lot!!Thank you very much for all!
I big hug! God bless you!!
Have a wonderful new year!!
Brazilian woman.
Dear Mistress in treacherous waters, thank you for your note sister. I do hope your MM also brought you a nice juicy present - on one of his two trips to you- on Christmas Day? Just as a thank you for waiting around for him!! Ps - I wonder what excuses he gave his wife to leave the family abode and come over to see you.... The mind boggles. I do hope that this time next year you are involved with a lovely SINGLE man who will wake up with you on Christmas day, and not have to make snatched visits to you...sigh!
Keep the faith sister
Sarah J. x
Dear Brazilian Mistress,
Thank you for writing. I have to ask? How did you hear about me from so far away? Isn't it interesting that mistresses are the same the world over, with the same experiences....
I am proud of you for wanting to date a single man - you deserve true love - we all do. I am so happy my book and blog are helping you. Spread the word sister of the mistresshood...
Stay strong and find your heart's desire
Sarah J. x
Dear Sarah,
Good afternoon!!
Yes!! It is very interesting that mistresses are the same in all parts of the world!!! You had the brilliant idea and courage to write and show your experience for us and I know that God and the Universe will recompense you!! Thank you again!!
I live in São Paulo - Brazil and I have family in South Africa, they visited me this year and gave me a magazine called "You" - edition of 13 March 2008 that you wrote "Don´t fall for Mr.Married!".
You can´t imagine how many women here in Brazil are depressed, suffering and crying because the relationship with a MM!! I will spread your blog for women that are involved with MM!! I suffered and hated the experience (I felt an empty space in my heart and other bad sensations, including lack of peace)!! My advice for all women is to be very far from married men!!!
I loved your blog and I will continue to visit and read it and I hope one day you come to Brazil to show for Brazilian women your experience, you book, and I am sure that you are going to help a lot of women here!!
I admire your courage!!
My best wishes for you!!
You are right!! We deserve true love!!
Hugs and kisses!!!
Sílvia - ex.mistress from Brazil.
I've noticed that most of your posts on this blog have taken a "try and get your MM to buy you things while you can" approach with "peace and profits" first. How disappointing. Now I am sure you have had some truly dreadful married men who have not loved or helped you as an actual person. But really, by demanding your MMs to shower you with presents, you're making yourself into a high-class one-customer whore, paid in a few pieces of designer clothing. A decent mistress (and I've had a few) can earn far more than expensive shinies -- she can acquire real honest-to-God love, moral support, business advice, a shoulder to cry on, and personal and spiritual growth. It makes me sad that you've sold yourself for so little value. I do hope you someday come across a man (married or no) who offers you something truly valuable.
-- Deep V.
Deep V. - sadly I fear there is nothing 'deep' about you at all, but I do appreciate your taking the time to leave a comment. It's always good to hear from a cheating married man in action. I am guessing too, that you are a poor married man, since your only M.O. -to reeling in a woman to use for sex when your wife doesn't feel like it - is to have them buy in to your vacuous suggestions of 'love, moral support, and business advice?' Not to mention 'personal and spiritual growth?' LOL... Why not focus those honed attributes on your wife and stop preying on vulnerable single women's emotions. We all know that nothing good can ever come from loving a married man (especially a poor one, right sisters) the only one that benefits in that scenario is the MM, who will of course imply he too 'has fallen in love with the woman of the moment.' Pass the bucket - ugh!!
Sisters of the mistresshood, SUW's and wives, please all be wary of such predators as 'Deep V.'
hugs
Sarah J.
To Deep V...
You are so wrong, I cannot begin to describe it all. A woman does not get honest to god love from a married man, or he wouldn't still be married to the wife! Nor does she get it from a man who has had several mistresses. One is forgivable - it was a laps in judgment, you needed someone, you truly cared for your mistress. but several just means you're using them for sex. And if any woman didn't tell you differently, it's because as a mistress we are so dependent on what our MM thinks that we don't say anything to upset him, fearing he will end it. and i have a feeling you've done that.
It's so tragic you can call us whores. and you do it because there is no title for you to wear as a cheating MM. The man is not branded "the other woman, the whore, the kept woman," and so on. you know nothing of a woman's feelings.
BRAVO to my anonymous mistress; Thank you for your great comments to Deep V!!! Take that deep V!!!
(By the way, there is a title for cheating MMs you know; - COWARDS!!!!)
Hugs
Sarah J x
From Miss C: I have known my mm for 2 years now & up until 4 months ago it was purely friends. He helped me to end a very unhappy long term relationship & have the confidence to start looking for new relationships. I have dated a few people but each time I end up talking to my mm about it. I have now realised it is my mm that I am in love with & he ticks all the boxes. Apart from the wife. Things have now become physical but he doesnt promise the things most do. You say that 'we' should get something out of this. I am having the best sex ever but what I really want is a baby. I am 35yrs old, in a good job & very independant. I would not do this to trap him. What kind of advise can you give me. I have your book & thank you for writing it.
Dear Mistress C
Thank you for your comment. My strong advice to you would be to run a mile from this MM and not to let things be physical with him anymore. He can NEVER tick all your boxes as he is a liar and a cheat and is lying to the very woman he took his vows with, as well as leading you along too!! I suggest if it is a child you want, you look for a single and available man to fulfill your dreams with.
If this man does not want to leave his wife for you and give you the life you desire, then surely you have to realize you deserve so much better...
Keep the faith sister
Hugs
Sarah J.
Hello ladies, I certainly can't speak for all married men, and it's clearly the case that many of you have been badly abused by MMs who only want sex. All I am claiming is that love and respect IS possible within the context of an affair. My M.O. is not sex. It's a relationship in which sex is a facet. Sex is a happy and convenient fringe benefit of a good affair. I love my wife and my mistresses. Maybe some men don't.
I do regret that your experiences were and are so negative, and I hope that you're all able to find the resolution you're looking for.
- Deep V.
Well Deep V, sounds like you have it all. Thank goodness you are so adept at keeping both the wife and the mistress happy, so that neither create problems for you nor want more. I have to wonder is it because of the type of women you have, or whether you are just a complete stud in bed, or, just massively wealthy...whatever the answer, don't take it for granted, as, the worm CAN change you know.
Sarah J.
I'm not THAT rich! Actually, I have two current mistresses AND a loving wife, and I keep them all honorably pleased, in bed and in the living room. Yes, I am an extremely lucky man, and I never miss an opportunity to show my lovely women, in word and deed, how important they are to me and to my life. I love them all, quite truly I do!
I think you are performing a great service to mistreated mistresses and I hope you are able to someday get all MMs to give all mistresses the respect and love they deserve!
- Deep V.
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