(How To) Fall OUT of love with your MM....

Sisters,

This is something I get asked all the time, and so to reply to a comment from one of our sisters of the mistress-hood (posted under "Circumstantial Mistress") regards "How to Fall Out of Love with an MM?" - I have a simple solution to that question.  To fall out of love with your MM, you need to empower yourself, and get your self-esteem back, and to help you do this, just think back on all of the lies and empty promises he has ever fed you,  Think of all the soul destroying 'waiting' you have allowed yourself to endure by being his secret woman.  Think of the number of times you have told him you were in pain, and how he still went home to his wife anyway, but more importantly, think on the most basic of truths here, he does not love you, or he would have changed his world to be with you.  So don't belittle yourself enough to love someone who does not love you, who has lied to you (and is lying to his wife, and his family) and who you have no chance of a future with.

Hope this helps this particular mistress who wrote in with her very candid, and all too familiar, story (and by the way sister, the guy you write about sounds like a very nasty piece of work, and a manipulative bastard to boot; so the fact he is married and a cheat, should be enough to have you running for the hills?).  I hope this will help empower all other mistresses reading too.  I know it is a daily, uphill struggle, to get over this type of emotional scarring, but you will get there.  Don't give in.  Live the life you DESERVE,  and don't accept to be second best any longer. And, it is ok to be alone you know.  

For this sister - and any others who are currently trying to beat their addiction to the WRONG man - I do offer intensive coaching sessions, that will help you love yourself, and reclaim yourself.  I call this service, "renewal coaching," as that is literally what this process is all about, renewing yourself.  If you are interested to know more, then write to me at sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com for more information.  I have helped countless women, including myself, to move on from this VERY toxic environment which I understand all too well.

As always, let me know your thoughts...I love reading all of your comments.

Hugs

Sarah J. 

Lights, Camera, Action.....

Well here I am out in sunny California, still heeding my mission to spread the word and exposing the depth of lies men tell when they decide to cheat on their wives.  

I did a very interesting interview today for a show called "Mom Logic" - and I spoke directly to wives, letting them know what some men, some husbands, were capable of, and alerting them to some of the signs they should look for if they suspect their hubbie is cheating on them. 

Thats my job.  To empower the 'other woman' to get out of her affair with her MM, as well as to wake up wives to the fact that so many men are cheating and the types of stories we, as the mistress, hear on a daily basis.

Rock on sisters.  Lets make it as hard as possible for these guys to cheat, and to hurt us in the process, as so many of you still write to tell me they are!

Live from Hollywood, this is Sarah J. x

(P.S. SISTERS - I DO APOLOGIZE FOR POSTING THE SAME REPLY COMMENT TO ONE OF THE SISTERS OF THE MISTRESSHOOD FIVE TIMES BELOW...IT WAS A TECHNICAL ERROR, OR...PERHAPS I WAS JUST SO FRUSTRATED BY HER MM AND WANT YOU ALL TO LEARN FROM HER STORY...)

In Good Company....

Dear sisters of the mistresshood,

 

I just finished watching the Oprah Show today, to hear Barbara Walters admit to a two year affair with the first ever African American senator, and Oprah sympathizing that she also had been in an affair with a married man years ago.

Damn, are we ever in good company!

Kisses

Sarah J. x

Breaking News - "M.A." is launched in L.A. today

Sisters, first of all my apologies for not writing my blog for a while.  I have been so wrapped up with traveling from London to L.A. and preparing to hold the first ever Mistresses Anonymous group meeting that I have let it slip for a while and I'm sorry for that.  But I am back now, and with a passion!

I am happy to report that I held the first ever meeting today.  As of today, 4th May, at 4pm, history was made and a taboo was broken. We now have our own support group, and I am determined to break the stigma of the "Other Woman."  Ultimately, if married men didn't choose to break their vows by cheating on their spouses in the first place, then there would not be a need for us to provide this community service.  I am sick to death of the other woman being the loser in all ways, financially, mentally and physically.  We give all of ourselves for very little in return - least of all commitment!

The women who joined me today were amazing women, who just happened to be, or have been, MM addicts - settling to be with someone who can never put them first, and suffering from the emotional trauma that comes with believing in the lies, and procrastination, that a married man will use to keep you in his life -  as was the case with me.  I hope to empower all women to not accept being second best in life any more.  It is ok to be alone you know, and isn't it better to be alone and lonely, than with the wrong guy and lonely?

I am still in recovery from my experiences which have scarred me more than I can ever tell you. Nobody held a gun to my head to stay with the man hurting me, but I was so deep into this emotionally crucifying pattern that I had not the strength to get out.  That is why I will never, ever, judge any of you, whatever your circumstances.  (What's next for us?  Our own recovery happy house for reformed other women?  Our own dating agency to help us meet decent available guys who WILL put us first?).

As women, we have to want to get out of this toxic environment for ourselves, not because someone tells us we should.  Sadly, this usually means you have to hit that brick wall of pain first, to make you wake up and realize you cannot continue to live the life you are.  I call this the 'wake up call,' and will be using it a lot from now on.  Oprah has her AHA moment that we can all relate to, but now us mistresses have the "WUC" moment (a.k.a wake up call!) which I officially launch here on my blog as of today.  I really hope that all of you will experience the WUC very soon!

Kisses

Sarah J. x