Tuesday, May 6, 2008

In Good Company....

Dear sisters of the mistresshood,
I just finished watching the Oprah Show today, to hear Barbara Walters admit to a two year affair with the first ever African American senator, and Oprah sympathizing that she also had been in an affair with a married man years ago.

Damn, are we ever in good company!
Sarah J. x


Anonymous said...

I think it's wonderful there is a place like this now. I knew that me and my MM would never get together (as he was very clear about that at the start) because he said he would feel too guilty about the age (I'm 24, he's 42), but we've still been having our affair for a year and a half. I also filled the void of the wife, helped him get through one of the hardest times in his life. And, it's coming to the end, as these things do.
when he first referred to me as his "mistress" i was against the term, mostly because it is just about the woman - there is no term for the man in our society. but here I can see there are so many awesome women who have also been mistresses. Thank you Sarah for letting it be known, and giving us strength. I wish I could have been in LA, but I'm in Nova Scotia, Canada!

Sarah J. Symonds said...

Hello Novia Scotia Mistress, thank you for writing and sharing. You make a good point about the lack of a 'term' for these men (bastards? LOL) but - now we do have one of course..... they are our MM's!

You probably have made his marriage stronger, as you exit this scenario. Keep writing to me if you needs some words of support sister.

sarah J. x

Anonymous said...

I need some words of support. I have been having an affair with a man for the past 7 years. When I met him he was engaged to his now wife. They are married with a child and we see/talk to each other on a daily basis. A couple of years ago I was frustrated at him so in retaliation I phoned up his wife and told her everything about our relationship. Him and i didn't talk for almost a year. We started talking again and meeting each other whenever possible. He tells me that his wife drives him bonkers, never has sex and is complacent not happy. Problem is, I cant break away from him and whenever I make a comment about me just being with him for sex he gets upset and tells me thats not the way it is between us at all. I guess I want your opinion as to how to start to get out of this with him and not go through emotional hell in the process.

sarah symonds said...

Dear Anon
This man will never, I repeat never, leave his wife for you. And if that is what you want you know you are going to be the loser. To lessen the emotional hell you anticipate by leaving this relationship (and which is a reality without the right support system) try sitting down and writing a list of all the things you feel you have sacrificed over the 7 years, and all the heartbreak he has caused you by staying with him..

Have you read my book? as that is a huge wake up call, and I have been told by many (now 'ex') mistresses that it was what gave them the strength to get out of their turmoil. This is a pivotal time for you now, and it is not an easy process extracting yourself from this relationship.

Where do you live? I do private one on one renewal coaching for many women in your position. I refer to it as 'renewal,' as you really do have to get to a point where you can love yourself again, and can reclaim your spirit, your self esteem and all of the wasted time you've spent by being second best to this man.

Let me know if this is something you would like to know more about. You can email me at sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com if you would like to talk privately.

Keep the faith sister, and I am proud of you for seeing the light, and wanting to get out. Now the journey will start!