The 12-Steps of Wife School, teaching wives to act more like Mistresses.

The number one rule at Wife School is to act more like a mistress than a wife, i.e."Be Your Husband’s Mistress” Here are the official, simple, 12-steps to Affair-Proofing your Marriage!

1. Be the woman he married – He married you for a reason, he loves you, so be sure you don’t change into a different woman as soon as you’ve eaten the wedding cake!
2. Keep your appearance in check - Don’t pile on the weight after you get ‘comfortable’ with him, nor let your dress sense go. Looking good will help YOU feel better, as well as making sure your husband only has eyes for you.
3. Listen to him and be attentive - Be interested in him and how his day was. Stay up late to see him after he’s had a hard day at work, even if you are tired. Ask him how his day was, before unloading all your troubles (and not too many troubles!)
4. Communicating and the art of communication - Flirt with him throughout the day either via text, email, phone etc (*Note: that’s what all Mistresses do with your husbands*). Be fun and fun loving. Don’t nag! Ultimately make him WANT to come home to you, not HAVE to come home to you.
5. Be Intimate with your husband everyday – Preferably sex YES! But even if you don’t always feel like it, there are other things you can do. If you’re not sleeping with your husband, I guarantee someone else is! Even a hug and a kiss will be welcomed if you can’t go the whole way, but some form of intimacy is essential.
6. Put more friendship in your romance – Lighten up on the romantic side of your marriage. See your man as your best friend as well as your lover. That way you can really be yourself and be relaxed around him, just as you are with good friends.
7. Stroke his ego, and other parts – Men want to feel like men. They want to feel needed and wanted. Tell him how much you appreciate him, especially when he does something nice. Let him know you respect him as a man. And touch him. Be tactile with him.
8. Be Sexy – Even if you sit around in your sweatpants all day, be sure to change just before he comes home from work into something sexier. Oh and remember to shave those legs, and other parts.
9. Ambiance - Create an environment he will enjoy when he comes home. Focus on soft lighting, scented candles and gentle music playing. Maybe run a hot bath, or jump in a steamy shower with him. Have his favourite drink ready, or enjoy a glass of wine together. Hide the kid’s toys, and any other clutter.
10. Time Management – Never make the ‘kids your life.’ All you will do is alienate your husband. Try to manage your time wisely so that when your husband comes home you have time for him. Couples that don’t eat together, or spend the evenings together, generally grow apart. Don’t allow your husband to become distant or lonely, or a space will be created for another woman to walk into his life.
11. Cooking – Be sure to spend less time in the kitchen and more time in the bedroom, as the way to a man’s heart is NOT through his stomach, it’s actually more South of his waistband! A nice hot meal need not take hours so don’t ever slave over a hot stove. Be adventurous in the kitchen, but even more so in the bedroom.
12. Keep your own identity – NEVER be a doormat for your husband. Be a strong woman, and let him know that if he ever mistreats you, or cheats on you, you will not put up with it. Teach him to make sure he respects you, and that he will lose you if he strays. Also, have your own life and interests, so that you are not just ‘a wife.’ Otherwise you will have nothing to ever tell him or surprise him with. You should be willing to work for a relationship, but never suffer for it.

Revenge: Bitter or Sweet?

Sisters, I hesitate as I sit here to write a blog on THIS topic, as it is such a personal one to so many of us. I've been busy life-coaching mistresses OUT of their affairs this week as usual, and at least four of them all want to 'seek revenge' (i.e. they want to call 'the wife'). So here are my thoughts on the topic.

Generally, when you exact an 'act of revenge' it very seldom gives you the result you seek. In fact it can leave you hurting (and feeling more angry and bitter than you did before). Revenge is - at best - extremely unsatisfying, I know that from personal experience. However, I also understand the feelings of 'wanting to get even,' 'making him pay for what he did,' etc, the list goes on. It's almost as if there needs to be a revenge equation, something that would somehow balance the love-grievance, redress the balance, then enable the aggrieved party to be able to move on with the rest of their lives.

Sometimes there is nothing than can ever compensate for a romantic disaster or fallout, because let-downs and betrayals can leave you feeling like your whole world has collapsed, your heart and soul violated and abused. However, one remedy is starting a happy and healthy relationship with someone MUCH nicer (and SINGLE). So, rather than us pontificating about that age-old adage,"happiness being the best form of revenge," perhaps we ought to start saying that, "forgetting is the best chance of happiness." After all, THEY will always be cheats, but you my dear Sisters-of-the-Mistresshood, had a lucky escape from these men, and, to me that is revenge in itself.

Let me leave you with a posting from a mistress here on Pillow Talk, who describes her experience when she called a wife up for revenge, she says; "I was the other woman who told his wife about him cheating on her, because he wouldn't leave me alone. All she said was, "What do you want me to do about it?" She said, "The wife acted in the same way that he would when he used to berate or manipulate me." She went on to say that she 'couldn't believe her manner in which the wife spoke to her, and, that they deserved each other in her opinion.'

Get your heads out of the sand ladies, and stay true to YOU!!
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xox