Monday, November 3, 2008


Ok Sisters, I can see that the time has universally come to reclaim ourselves from the pain of dating an MM!!

I have had so many of you write to me to ask me about my renewal coaching services in these past few weeks, and I really want to get it going properly now, and give you the level of support you need.  I am replying to all of your enquiries individually, based on where you are in your situation right now, and more importantly, where you would like to be.

Lets make this the thing of the future.  You know I am the only one to be able to coach you, while feeling your pain at the same time, since as you all know by now, I have been in pretty much all of the situations you are in/or have been in.  

Lets share and heal together.  Don't let the bastards win!!!

Sarah J. 


Anonymous said...

Ok, I just wrote this long comment, and lost it somehow. So I ask if it was supposed to be lost.I decided I write again.
I sit here crying, for I sort of broke off my 2 year affair last night.My soul is empty,the words are gone, just emotions. I say sort of, for I have sent him 3 texts this morning saying I can't do this, I need him in my life. Help me, for I do not feel empowered I feel empty.This is literally, and I do mean literally, taking my life. I have lost 22 lbs, I cry way to much,I want to curl up in the fetal position and just sleep...till it is over. Am I crazy? Please tell me this is not unique to me..that others have had these same feelings and do make it...I am dying here.

sarah symonds said...

Dear Anonymous in distress. You are not crazy, but you will become so if you don't reclaim you life now. I have been exactly where you are. Didn't want to, and didn't know how to, carry on. However, I want to remind you that HE is not feeling like you do. He is getting on with his life and his don't let him take any more from you than he already has. Turn your pain into empowerment and tell yourself that you deserve more than being second best in a relationship.

Email me in confidence if you would like to begin a course of "Renewal Coaching" - you have to act now, or you risk going back to him, as he will come back to ask you - you know that I am sure!

Stay strong, and keep the faith!
Sarah J.

Donna said...

Thank you for your comment. I have one question, do i tell his wife? I feel so sad for her too, for he has lied to her for all this time, still is, and i walk away for me and his life goes back to normal. Even if I do tell and she stays with him, at least he will not walk as such...

Anonymous said...

Oh dear poor sweet girl! I hope you check the comments Sarah has written you (and this one too) - it will all pass with time. Sarah helped me through this horrible time and she will help you too! I was with this guy "Mr. Toad" for 4 years and you know the rest. Stayed with the wife and kids, etc.

Sarah is a life saver. She really is.

- Jo

Sarah J. Symonds said...

Darling Jo, thank you for your lovely comment. You will always be one of my favorite mistresses - especially as our 'toads' had so much in common!! (LOL). I'm so glad I was able to help you when you needed it. You are one of my biggest transformation success stories, and I am really proud of you for staying committed to what you DON"T want ever again.....

Now - to answer Donna's question - I can't, nor ever would, tell you that you should or should not call the wife. That is your own personal decision, and you, as we all in life, have to do whatever you need to to make things right for you, and to gain closure to be able to move on and live healthily, while healing and being ready to love again. Only you know what that takes and only you know how much you are hurting. That said, whatever course of action you do take, think of your tomorrow, and the ramifications that could occur based on what you decide to do. Make sense?

Sarah J.

Anonymous said...

i dont know what to do how can i get him back i was with a married man for 4years i told his wife then we both changed our numbers i emailed him mine he rang and i seen him friday nigh we kissed he told me he missed me my heart is broken how can i get him back

sarah J. Symonds said...

Dear Anonymous,
Why on earth would you WANT him back? If he didn't choose you over his missus the first time, you can rest assured he is not going to even if you give him a chance at round two! I suggest you change your mobile number again, and move right on to an available guy....
Sarah J.

Anonymous said...

I have stayed away from my MM for nearly 6 months now, have suspended all contact too. I know he was just using me and to his credit, he never claimed to love me. The trouble is, I fell hopelessly in love with him despite knowing him for the cad he is -- in less than a decade of marriage, I'm his 5th mistress, although he claims I'm the only one that "took". We were involved for nearly 2 years before I ended it. Now I can't get past it and I can't get over him. I cry constantly, I've lost over 20 pounds, I obsess over him, I cannot move on, I have no interest in meeting people -- and I know none of this worries him at all. What's worse is that he insists that he wants to be "friends". WHY IS HE TORMENTING ME LIKE THIS? I could easily destroy his life with a simple phone call to his wife, but she's never done a thing to me and being married to him is punishment enough. How can I move on with my life? I'm miserable constantly and I'm certain I'm clinically depressed.

Anonymous said...

telling the wife does nothing, these men can convince their wives that: YOU are crazy, YOU are obsessed...yatta, yatta, yatta. All that telling the wife will EVER accomplish is that YOU will end up looking like the fool. trust me HE will make sure of that.!! let him go. .... and... he doesnt know or CARE if he is tormenting you.
You deserve better than this, be kind to yourself and let the fantasy of him go...because he is just a fantasy.

Veronica said...

Hi Sarah,

No matter how hilarious your comments (and the book) are-there is a point. And a huge one. On a bright side it is great that woman are now openly discussing man's arrogance and humiliating attitude toward woman. However, the major point filtering out is a very dangerous one: Why are men lying? Why they need to cheat and why are they so easily dishonest? I am inclined to think that it can't be only sex. We live in an age where sex is available for free. Why would a man like to be emotional vampire, exploit someone's emotions only to feel good about himself. Why would he produce devastation when he can pay for it and get a skilled service instead (well aids a well)? Are we treated as disease free/charge free sex workers? And why would society look with admiration at these men? Does it tell us that we better start taking care of ourselves and realize that men think woman are stupid. It may take generations until men understand that woman are not available when and how they want but that they have to deserve us. Men take great care not to baehave like this with other men. They respect them. Men know very well their price and what are they providing for. So should we. Maybe our disrespect for ourselves turned us into available harem for modern men. As wives and mistresses we let then get away with this and they never grow up. We have income, we pay for grooming, clothes, we are well read, we are socially attractive and we think that it is emancipation to give all this in return for tears. I recently had a boring dinner date with cheating MM who couldn't take part in a reasonable conversation. And then I thought - I should charge him by the hour for the waste of time. Why am I cheaper than a geisha???? And why we feel that the right to jump in everyone's bed is emancipation. So, my conclusion is that men behave worse then ever because we let them get away with it.
Any thoughts?