Monday, November 26, 2007

"Doing Your Due Diligence!"

Sisters, a quick holiday update for you. As your leader, I have to remind you that whilst it,"tis the season to be jolly," - it doesn't mean you can be gullible or complacent where men are concerned! 

There is a new survey out, which shows that this time of year is the most prevalent time for cheating! All those office Christmas parties along with the cold dark winter nights, are a perfect setting for a cheating married man, (aka MM) to prey on you!


But it's not JUST the married men we should be aware of; – the single ones are at it too!  That’s why I encourage ALL women read my book, 'Having an Affair?' – whatever their status in the relationship game, because we ALL have to band together, and be one step ahead of the lies these men constantly use to get us in to the sack!

 *An Important Festive Note to Remember Ladies:  "The only thing your man should be stuffing this season, is the turkey, and YOU!"


Kisses, Sarah J. x  


Anonymous said...

Just found out my bastard lover has been stringing along another woman (in addition to his wife). I am so so tempted to tell the wife. I think after 30 of being married to this freak she should know the truth. But, and this is weird, I am NOT trying to hurt her. I actually feel sorry for her.
As for him, I should thank him. This has done more to end my ''addiction" to him than anything short of years of psychotherapy could have.

My question, should I tell her? Would you?

Anonymous said...

Well I know my mans' wife and I would love nothing more than for her to find out because she is not a nice person in the slightest, but it is up to you. You have to live with the consequences, the guilt of possibly ruining someones life and misconceptions...
Personally I would tell her - wouldn't you want to know??

Anonymous said...

the bastard refered to in the above post of 12/17 is one whom I am having an affair. EXCEPT he really wants to keep the other lover in addition to me. He's given me reason why he wants us both...we 'complete' him. I think she's younger and geographically closer. He's insistant...he really wants me back into my life BIG TIME. But not enough to let her go. Not to mention the wife, who is very much still in the picture.

I still would appreciate any thoughts on telling his wife. I am sorely tempted. Especially since he refuses to compromise on this other bird.

Thank you for all your support. Helped me make it through a tough time of year. He has hurt me very badly with all this and he continues to do so by refusing to give up this other woman. He says he doesn't understaND. This is NOT a dumb person. Ph.D. psychologist and master in manipulation.
hurting and confused.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the opinion on a course of action to take in my double-timing cheating MM. I thought about it alot. I even blew up at him and threatened. But then I felt so guilty I didn't do it. I sort-of smoothed things over w/him. Things have definitely gone very very cool between us since the blow up. I think I'll just try to move on as best I can w/life. Leave him and his younger woman alone. He did "accidentally" send me an e-mail meant for her, so I nowhave her e=mail addy. Another temptation. But she already knows about me (aledgedly). and there's not much I can say that she would take to heart I'm afraid.

Please ladies out there; wish me luck. I'm trying to be strong and leave this all behind me. It's hard. But this time I have to succeed. I can't be part of a '4-way' love scene.

Again, support, help WELCOMED! Thank you. and Thank you Sarah.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you women. You think of nobody but yourselves. Don't be fooled by men who say their wives "don't understand them! or that their "wives don't give them enough sex" or "don't show them any love" - oldest excuses in the book! I have found out from experience that although I am a very attractive and sexy 37 year old woman who never refused her husband sex, has a high sex drive and dressed up regularly for my husband, etc, etc, he still had sex with another woman. He is a complusive liar with no conscience whatsoever. I'm getting divorced and he still begs me to have him back. He constantly tells me that sex with me was the best he ever had and he can't believe we won't ever have that sex together again. I know I'm great in bed (and out), I don't need him to tell me. I reckon he just wanted the "thrill" of doing something that was "forbidden" - i.e shagging another woman. I know when the other woman saw me she said she knew he would never leave me and she didn't expect me to be such an attractive woman. I think she was expecting some frumpy wife. I'm glad she felt inferior to me, as I have no sympathy for women who would do that to other women. I would never, ever do that to another woman. I have more respect for myself and I know I am worth far more than to have to share a man and to be with a man who you know has a girlfriend or wife - or even worse, kids in that relationship.

Many men are 'pigs' who will have sex with other women until they are caught out and then lie through their teeth and deny it. Unluckily for my soon-to-be ex, I found out what he had been up to after I saw a text he received and became suspicious. I ended up ringing it up and finding out exactly what happened. Took me a while finding out the truth, but I got it in the end, from her. I still remember the colour of his face when I told him everything I knew. He was distraught that he was now losing me.

I read in the newspaper that you say the wife "has everything she needs - the kids, the money, the great home - so many of them turn a blind eye because it suits them". I think you make comments like that because it suits you. You have no idea what wives and girlfriends think or what they go through. You have no idea what lies their husbands are telling them, or you. The men are telling you what they know you want to hear, or what he wants you to hear. You have no idea how unhappy many of these women are suspecting that their husbands may be having an affair, and how heart-wrenching it is when you find out that the man you trusted and loved could possibly do something like that to you. You have no idea whether some women may be staying in the marriage, even though they are desperately unhappy, because they love their husbands so much, they can't bring themselves to leave them and believe their husbands when they say they will never be unfaithful again. Do you not even take into consideration the heartache you could cause for children if you made their father leave their mother? Children's lives can be destroyed by their parents divorcing and all the fighting and arguing afterwards. I don't expect women to help a cheating man cheat, by making themselves available to them, when you know they are in a relationship. It's a very selfish attitude you have. Many men will take it when it's "offered on a plate" to them. You should listen to men's conversations and you will hear them say this.

Why would you want to have sex with a man in a relationship, knowing he is going home to have more sex with his wife? Why would you want to make it possible for these selfish men to "have their cake and eat it"? Once a cheat, always a cheat!

If you only date rich men, then it's obvious that you pursue these men callously, without regard for their partners, as you want to have the chance to live the lives their partners lead and you hold onto the hope that maybe one day they will leave their partners for you - and you think that can be achieved by offering them sex. Men can have prostitutes anytime they like, you are just being used as the alternative and it's not as seedy as paying for sex in the normal way, although that is what you are doing, if you only date rich married men.

The difference between you feeling unhappy "sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring, and suffering" is that you put yourself in that position. The wife or girlfriend didn't choose to be in that position, but chose a single man to have a relationship with.

You may be saying now that you wouldn't date a married man, but the fact is, you are glorifying women having affairs with married men and condoning it. Hopefully, one day you will have children to that "special" man in your life and he will shatter everything you ever had and destroyed the future you thought you had by going off with another possibly younger, fitter model. You are the same age as me and men, especially rich men, always go for the younger women, if they have the opportunity. We aren't getting any younger and there are plenty of attractive young women who are happy to do the same as you did. Only then will you realise that you were wrong about the wives and the reasons the men had affairs and to justify ever having had an affair knowing the man was married or in a relationship.

I hope other women will realise what hurt they cause to other women and not be little more than a free prostitute to any married man. Men won't have any respect for you if you allow them to have sex with them, knowing they have a partner. Married men let you know they are married to make sure you know they don't have to be committed to you. What better excuse do they have to just turn up for sex and not to ring or turn up when they say they will! They "don't have long", they "have to get back to the wife", they "couldn't get away". Come on, wake up and smell the coffee! They are using you all. If you are so convinced he will eventually leave his wife for you, tell him it's over until he leaves his wife. If he doesn't leave his wife for you after you end it, then you have it confirmed that he was using you for sex.