Dear Sisters one and all, for the first ever time here on Pillow Talk, I am writing a blog for both Mistresses AND wives, as I believe there is no longer a definition between the two. If you are both involved with the same man, then you are both settling for less than you deserve. You are both sharing half of a man while he is getting the very best out of two women. You are both - literally - sleeping with the enemy and being manipulated by a skilled liar and cheat so that he can have his cake and eat it, having all his needs met. How does that make you feel?
Now, that said, The Day of Love is fast approaching, yes it's Valentine's Day next week. Here in the UK it happens to fall during school Half-Term, so the kids will be at home. This could pose a few pesky problems for some. For example, if you're a wife and a mother you may profess to be, 'too busy with the kids to bother about doing anything with your husband to celebrate Valentines Day!' Well, DON'T be too busy. This is the first rule of my Wife School (www.sarahswifeschool.com) that you should always make time for your husbands, in fact, 'Be Your Husband's Mistress,' make him feel loved and special. If you happen to be the cheating married man then it may be harder than usual to escape this year on the evening of the 13th, what with the kids being home. Hopefully this will make things very awkward for you. And for Mistresses, let this Valentines Day be your WAKE-UP call to get out of this redundant relationship with another woman's husband. If you are a British Mistress let it be an even bigger wake-up call, as since it's falling in Half-Term it will be just like a 7 day weekend for you, when your MM moans about how he has to be at home with the family!! You too deserve better! Way better.....
Signs and tips for Suspicious Wives this Valentines Day:
* He tries desperately to keep to his 'business dinner' on the 13th February
* Moody and distant around the 13th and 14th
* Pre-occupied with his phone and emails around this time
* Check for credit card receipts for an 'extra' bunch of flowers!
* Check for more money coming out of the ATM than normal (secrets are expensive!)
* If he says he is working late at the office on 13th Feb - CALL and check it out.
On a lighter note, if you have no suspicions, enjoy your husband and show him you love him every day. After all, a husband is for life, not just Valentine's Day. For all you Mistresses who will be sitting home alone on the 14th (and this year maybe the 13th too) pining for a cheat, I have one word for you, WHY?????
Peace
Sarah J. xo
Monday, February 4, 2013
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Do you REALLY need the plus one in your life??
Sisters, and even brothers,
I want to talk to you today about staying in the wrong relationships. WHY do it?? Since my show aired last week, I have heard it all. Emails from women involved with married men who said they were 'unhappy at home' (*rolls eyes*) and one today even, from a Mistress who believed her married man to have filed for separation...not only did she just find out he filed incorrectly, and hence is still married (*yawn*) but his wife came over to confront her and the wife is heavily pregnant!!!!! Why do these TWO women stay with this cheating narcissitic individual??
We are all looking to love and be loved, I get that, but we have to respect ourselves and know that it is wrong on all levels to just stay with the wrong person for the sake of it, the person who does not make you happy. Whether it be because you feel you can't be alone, or that you feel you just have to have a 'somebody' in your life. No, you don't. You will survive, and you will be better off alone than with the wrong person who may be draining you and rotting you to your very core.
So today's message is love yourself first. Put yourself first. Anyone who wants to be with you should be open, honest, and upfront. Lets keep the liars, cads, and cheats at bay.
Stay strong you all, and live a happy life not a crappy life!
Peace
Sarah J. xo
Sunday, July 29, 2012
The Time Has Come!
Mistresses, and Misters......
I am deeply proud (and still somewhat shell-shocked) to announce that "The Mistress" (my new reality show) will premiere in Canada on 29th August. Pull up your seats one and all, for not only a birds-eye view into the secret world of the mistress, but also tips on how to spot a cheater, and how to avoid heartache, and, how to affair-proof your marriage.
I am aiming at global domination on this topic you all, so, if you don't live in Canada, don't despair, I hope to bring the show to a TV near you soon.
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
Friday, March 23, 2012
Are YOU an Addict?
Sisters,
I write my blog today to address all those of you who are currently dating a married man and are in despair of your affair, purely 'existing' as you suffer the pain of being in love with an unattainable man. This blog is aimed at YOU. Women stuck in affairs and wish they were not.
Staying in an affair can be an ongoing personal tragedy. It can ruin your health, your looks, and rot you to your very core. It can undermine your self-esteem, destroy your self-confidence, drain your energy and suck your emotions dry. Not to mention waste years of your life in a dead-end relationship.So why on earth do you stay? Your inner voice is telling you to leave, but you just can't. It's as if the pain of leaving is greater than the pain of staying, right? Is this YOU? If so, you are an addict. An addict to toxic love.
A healthy balanced relationship (i.e. one with TWO people in it, not THREE) is generally one where people freely choose to be together, or not! The addictive element comes in where that choice is no longer under your control. One of the hallmarks of addiction is a compulsive drive to do things, this limits your freedom to make choices. Then there is the panic. The panic at the thought of breaking it off, not having this toxic love in your life anymore. This is followed by possible withdrawal symptoms if you DO break up. Leaving you to go back to him, your drug of choice. Another trait of the toxic-love-addict is the sense of incompleteness, despair, sadness and emptiness, which you feel you can only find by your connection to your married man. He becomes the centre of your existence and you are willing to do a great deal of damage to yourself in order to keep your connection to him intact. In order to keep him in your life, even if it is all on his terms. Basically you give up all control to him. Is this YOU?
If all this sounds like you, or even someone you know, I urge you to enroll on my Mistresses Anonymous recovery group programme. I can help you STOP being an addict, and help you to a better life, one of freedom, choices, and happiness. For more information please go to www.mistressesanonymous.com. Mistresses Anonymous is a fellowship programme for women around the world, all with one thing in common, 'the despair of their affair.' The only requirment to be a part of MA is a sincere desire to stop dating your married man.
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
I write my blog today to address all those of you who are currently dating a married man and are in despair of your affair, purely 'existing' as you suffer the pain of being in love with an unattainable man. This blog is aimed at YOU. Women stuck in affairs and wish they were not.
Staying in an affair can be an ongoing personal tragedy. It can ruin your health, your looks, and rot you to your very core. It can undermine your self-esteem, destroy your self-confidence, drain your energy and suck your emotions dry. Not to mention waste years of your life in a dead-end relationship.So why on earth do you stay? Your inner voice is telling you to leave, but you just can't. It's as if the pain of leaving is greater than the pain of staying, right? Is this YOU? If so, you are an addict. An addict to toxic love.
A healthy balanced relationship (i.e. one with TWO people in it, not THREE) is generally one where people freely choose to be together, or not! The addictive element comes in where that choice is no longer under your control. One of the hallmarks of addiction is a compulsive drive to do things, this limits your freedom to make choices. Then there is the panic. The panic at the thought of breaking it off, not having this toxic love in your life anymore. This is followed by possible withdrawal symptoms if you DO break up. Leaving you to go back to him, your drug of choice. Another trait of the toxic-love-addict is the sense of incompleteness, despair, sadness and emptiness, which you feel you can only find by your connection to your married man. He becomes the centre of your existence and you are willing to do a great deal of damage to yourself in order to keep your connection to him intact. In order to keep him in your life, even if it is all on his terms. Basically you give up all control to him. Is this YOU?
If all this sounds like you, or even someone you know, I urge you to enroll on my Mistresses Anonymous recovery group programme. I can help you STOP being an addict, and help you to a better life, one of freedom, choices, and happiness. For more information please go to www.mistressesanonymous.com. Mistresses Anonymous is a fellowship programme for women around the world, all with one thing in common, 'the despair of their affair.' The only requirment to be a part of MA is a sincere desire to stop dating your married man.
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Get Your Pride On, Sisters!
Sisters,
The more I talk to women, and the more emails and letters I get from you every single day, the more I realize I'm dealing with an acute epidemic of low self-esteem in the Sisterhood. What's happened to the female race that has allowed us to lower our standards so much where men are concerned? To that end, today's Pillow Talk blog is all about Pride, and getting your pride back ON!
How many of us have ignored all the neon signs a man was sending us and hung on anyway, hoping he will change. Have many of us have waited alone in bars and coffee shops for him when he was 'running late' (or even worse, failed to show at all). For beautiful intelligent women why on earth do we do this to ourselves? And, why do we allow ourselves to stay with a man who is treating us with anything other than respect? Its time to stop wasting time with the time wasters, SIsters. Its time to know what we DON'T want, and focus on what we do. I can honestly say I wasted over 15 years of my life acting like a moron fretting over worthless guys, guys who made me obsess, cry, call, not call, deconstruct their excuses, and personally self- destruct over them, but, not anymore. I now don't - and will never again- waste even 15 minutes doing it, and haven't done so for the past 3 years. I've lived by the 'pride for myself rule' and that in turn makes me proud of myself.
My message to you all today is simple: When a man doesn't call or text you when he says he will, it's usually because he just IS not that into you. So STOP making all the excuses under the sun for him such as, he lost his mobile phone, lost your number, is getting over his ex, or went out of town. NO. This has to stop. Use your gut to realize you are flogging a dead horse and move ON from these ambivalent men. If you don't then YOU are the one with the acute problems, not him. He has shown you what he is up front. If you choose to keep the blinkers on because you can't face the truth, it will make you old very quickly. Stop pining and whining like a schoolgirl over men who are not even worth a second date. Stop being so desperate that you are willing to overlook major personality flaws (such as his not calling, turning up, switching his phone off, or generally avoiding you or even seeing other women). It is time to stop focusing on him and start focusing on you. Time to stop focusing on the disease and start focusing on the cure! STOP building that man up in your head to be 'the one' when you truly know he is not, because when that dream YOU had for you and him as a couple dies, it will be a double blow to you. It's hard to accept things weren't 'meant to be' and depressing and lonely too, but, if you didn't live in such denial and false hope about it to begin with, then it wouldn't BE so hard. Stop inflicting pain and drama on yourselves! Nobody likes a martyr. This advice goes to single women dating single guys, and mistresses embroiled with married men. I can even extend it to wives who are being treated like crap by their husbands and STILL staying with them!!
So I leave you with this thought, what is the point of dating - or being with - a guy who's not making you feel great? One you have to pull teeth with to get any kind of communication out of him. I mean, you wouldn't stay in a job you hated, or endure a friendship that took its toll on you, so why do so with a man? Surely thats just double standards.
The moment you stop looking so desperate to find a man, or so desperate to stay with him against all odds just to be IN a relationship, then that is the moment you will meet a good guy. Trust me on this.
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
The more I talk to women, and the more emails and letters I get from you every single day, the more I realize I'm dealing with an acute epidemic of low self-esteem in the Sisterhood. What's happened to the female race that has allowed us to lower our standards so much where men are concerned? To that end, today's Pillow Talk blog is all about Pride, and getting your pride back ON!
How many of us have ignored all the neon signs a man was sending us and hung on anyway, hoping he will change. Have many of us have waited alone in bars and coffee shops for him when he was 'running late' (or even worse, failed to show at all). For beautiful intelligent women why on earth do we do this to ourselves? And, why do we allow ourselves to stay with a man who is treating us with anything other than respect? Its time to stop wasting time with the time wasters, SIsters. Its time to know what we DON'T want, and focus on what we do. I can honestly say I wasted over 15 years of my life acting like a moron fretting over worthless guys, guys who made me obsess, cry, call, not call, deconstruct their excuses, and personally self- destruct over them, but, not anymore. I now don't - and will never again- waste even 15 minutes doing it, and haven't done so for the past 3 years. I've lived by the 'pride for myself rule' and that in turn makes me proud of myself.
My message to you all today is simple: When a man doesn't call or text you when he says he will, it's usually because he just IS not that into you. So STOP making all the excuses under the sun for him such as, he lost his mobile phone, lost your number, is getting over his ex, or went out of town. NO. This has to stop. Use your gut to realize you are flogging a dead horse and move ON from these ambivalent men. If you don't then YOU are the one with the acute problems, not him. He has shown you what he is up front. If you choose to keep the blinkers on because you can't face the truth, it will make you old very quickly. Stop pining and whining like a schoolgirl over men who are not even worth a second date. Stop being so desperate that you are willing to overlook major personality flaws (such as his not calling, turning up, switching his phone off, or generally avoiding you or even seeing other women). It is time to stop focusing on him and start focusing on you. Time to stop focusing on the disease and start focusing on the cure! STOP building that man up in your head to be 'the one' when you truly know he is not, because when that dream YOU had for you and him as a couple dies, it will be a double blow to you. It's hard to accept things weren't 'meant to be' and depressing and lonely too, but, if you didn't live in such denial and false hope about it to begin with, then it wouldn't BE so hard. Stop inflicting pain and drama on yourselves! Nobody likes a martyr. This advice goes to single women dating single guys, and mistresses embroiled with married men. I can even extend it to wives who are being treated like crap by their husbands and STILL staying with them!!
So I leave you with this thought, what is the point of dating - or being with - a guy who's not making you feel great? One you have to pull teeth with to get any kind of communication out of him. I mean, you wouldn't stay in a job you hated, or endure a friendship that took its toll on you, so why do so with a man? Surely thats just double standards.
The moment you stop looking so desperate to find a man, or so desperate to stay with him against all odds just to be IN a relationship, then that is the moment you will meet a good guy. Trust me on this.
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The MAJOR tell-tale sign of whether you are a mistress or not?
Well, you’re reading this, aren’t you?
The simple fact that you’ve landed on this website - and also my www.mistressesanonymous.com site - and are reading about the recovery program, is already tipping the balance towards a "Mistress Diagnosis." Meaning that if you have to ask, then the chances are good that you're already living as the Other Woman to a man who is just using you to keep his marriage ticking along. “Normal” women don’t wonder if they are mistresses. “Normal” women don’t let themselves settle for a second-hand relationship with an unavailable man, nor do they need a support group to help them survive it. Simply questioning yourself, and finally realizing how desperately unhappy you are, is a strong indication that you a mistress (albeit perhaps one in denial.) So sister, you have come to the right place.
Casual Mistress versus Mistress in despair.
Mistresses who are not in love are usually in control of their 'situations,' as they tend to have an agenda as big, if not bigger, as the cheating married man. And the casual mistress can usually take it or leave it when she sees him, and, live without him (emotionally) quite easily when she doesn't see him. However, the mistress in love on the other hand, has no control over her emotions and has a problem when the MM is not around. Her life spirals out of control. In other words, true mistresses have a problem with living without the drama, the co-dependancy, and the idea of being in competition to win a man's love!! THAT IS AN ILLNESS AND MEANS YOU NEED MA. Without a program of recovery, they will tend to be “restless, irritable, and discontent,” and even if they DO get out of the affair, they will still need to continue MA meetings as part of their life, to make sure to never tread that path again by falling off the wagon, but also not to bring any of her past issues into potential new and healthy relationships.
So ask yourself Ladies: Do you tend to have problems when you meet a married man who wants an affair with you, can you say no, or do you have a paralyzing fear when you imagine your life without him? If you’re leaning towards the second answer more than the first, then chances are good that you’re a mistress who needs urgent help. If you’ve decided that is you, please explore this website further, or contact me directly via my email, sarah@mistressesanonymous.com, and I will respond within 48 hours.
Sisters. the the ONLY requirement for full MA membership is a desire to stop sleeping with another woman's husband. Is this you??
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
Well, you’re reading this, aren’t you?
The simple fact that you’ve landed on this website - and also my www.mistressesanonymous.com site - and are reading about the recovery program, is already tipping the balance towards a "Mistress Diagnosis." Meaning that if you have to ask, then the chances are good that you're already living as the Other Woman to a man who is just using you to keep his marriage ticking along. “Normal” women don’t wonder if they are mistresses. “Normal” women don’t let themselves settle for a second-hand relationship with an unavailable man, nor do they need a support group to help them survive it. Simply questioning yourself, and finally realizing how desperately unhappy you are, is a strong indication that you a mistress (albeit perhaps one in denial.) So sister, you have come to the right place.
Casual Mistress versus Mistress in despair.
Mistresses who are not in love are usually in control of their 'situations,' as they tend to have an agenda as big, if not bigger, as the cheating married man. And the casual mistress can usually take it or leave it when she sees him, and, live without him (emotionally) quite easily when she doesn't see him. However, the mistress in love on the other hand, has no control over her emotions and has a problem when the MM is not around. Her life spirals out of control. In other words, true mistresses have a problem with living without the drama, the co-dependancy, and the idea of being in competition to win a man's love!! THAT IS AN ILLNESS AND MEANS YOU NEED MA. Without a program of recovery, they will tend to be “restless, irritable, and discontent,” and even if they DO get out of the affair, they will still need to continue MA meetings as part of their life, to make sure to never tread that path again by falling off the wagon, but also not to bring any of her past issues into potential new and healthy relationships.
So ask yourself Ladies: Do you tend to have problems when you meet a married man who wants an affair with you, can you say no, or do you have a paralyzing fear when you imagine your life without him? If you’re leaning towards the second answer more than the first, then chances are good that you’re a mistress who needs urgent help. If you’ve decided that is you, please explore this website further, or contact me directly via my email, sarah@mistressesanonymous.com, and I will respond within 48 hours.
Sisters. the the ONLY requirement for full MA membership is a desire to stop sleeping with another woman's husband. Is this you??
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
Monday, February 13, 2012
Heartache Prevention this Valentine's Day!
Sisters
Today is the day that a cheating married man will spoil his Mistress. The 13th February is officially Valentines Day for the Other Woman, and the night when many restaurants do their most business. Just why you choose to be with a man who can't be with you on the actual day is another blog for another time. Today its all about how not to get duped, or deceived this Valentines Day. It’s supposed to be the “Day of Love”, but is your husband cheating on you this Valentine’s Day? Is your boyfriend secretly married?
A few simple rules for potentially unwitting mistresses: If he is married (or has a significant other) he probably won't be available on the 14th, and will give you a myriad of excellent reasons why. Don't fall for them too easily or believe them without doing your due diligence. If he was telling the truth at least you have satisfied yourself. If there is a good reason why he can't take you out on the 14th, and can't call you or reply to your texts, fine, but it had better be good, otherwise you might want to dig a little deeper.
A few simple rules for wives who may be being cheated on: If your husband is busy tonight, on the 13th February, but his reason doesn't seem watertight, or if he seems shifty today, find out why. If he says he is 'working late at the office' - call the office, not his cell. Also, if he says he has to go on a business trip, investigate that one. Does he really have to go this week? Also, look for more money coming out of the bank account at this time of year too, as well as noticing if he is 'absent' both physically and emotionally.
You may think I'm being harsh, but trust me, you don't see the massive mail bag of letters and emails I get every single day from women bemoaning the fact that they were duped by a man they thought was single, separated, divorced, or 'living apart but under the same roof.' STOP falling for this claptrap. I'm also inundated with wives who write to tell me how the 'signs were there, but they just didn't want to see them.' Wishing now they hadn't wasted so much time living in denial.
My blogs are all about living in the truth. I know every trick, line, and lie, a married man uses to attract or keep his mistress, as well as the ones he uses to placate and manipulate a wife so that she doesn't rumble him. Don't be that Mistress, and don't be that Wife! My mission is to help women avoid the time and trauma of dating a cheat, or being married to one.
Happy Valentines Day all. Just don't let it be a Valen-SWINES day!!
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
Today is the day that a cheating married man will spoil his Mistress. The 13th February is officially Valentines Day for the Other Woman, and the night when many restaurants do their most business. Just why you choose to be with a man who can't be with you on the actual day is another blog for another time. Today its all about how not to get duped, or deceived this Valentines Day. It’s supposed to be the “Day of Love”, but is your husband cheating on you this Valentine’s Day? Is your boyfriend secretly married?
A few simple rules for potentially unwitting mistresses: If he is married (or has a significant other) he probably won't be available on the 14th, and will give you a myriad of excellent reasons why. Don't fall for them too easily or believe them without doing your due diligence. If he was telling the truth at least you have satisfied yourself. If there is a good reason why he can't take you out on the 14th, and can't call you or reply to your texts, fine, but it had better be good, otherwise you might want to dig a little deeper.
A few simple rules for wives who may be being cheated on: If your husband is busy tonight, on the 13th February, but his reason doesn't seem watertight, or if he seems shifty today, find out why. If he says he is 'working late at the office' - call the office, not his cell. Also, if he says he has to go on a business trip, investigate that one. Does he really have to go this week? Also, look for more money coming out of the bank account at this time of year too, as well as noticing if he is 'absent' both physically and emotionally.
You may think I'm being harsh, but trust me, you don't see the massive mail bag of letters and emails I get every single day from women bemoaning the fact that they were duped by a man they thought was single, separated, divorced, or 'living apart but under the same roof.' STOP falling for this claptrap. I'm also inundated with wives who write to tell me how the 'signs were there, but they just didn't want to see them.' Wishing now they hadn't wasted so much time living in denial.
My blogs are all about living in the truth. I know every trick, line, and lie, a married man uses to attract or keep his mistress, as well as the ones he uses to placate and manipulate a wife so that she doesn't rumble him. Don't be that Mistress, and don't be that Wife! My mission is to help women avoid the time and trauma of dating a cheat, or being married to one.
Happy Valentines Day all. Just don't let it be a Valen-SWINES day!!
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo
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