"Pillow Talk" with Sarah J. Symonds

A New Year, a New YOU!

2011-12-29T17:20:00.000-08:00

Sisters,
The new year is soon upon us. I hope that if you HAVE spent this Christmas as a Mistress, you'll be finally starting to wake up and smell the coffee, and hopefully be asking yourself, "Surely this can't be ALL I want from life!!" I am hearing great things from many of you who have been attending my online Mistresses Anonymous meetings, or reading my book, and I hope more of you will feel that it is time to stop being a martyr to what you 'thought was love.' I'm one of the few women in the world willing to speak out, as I understand firsthand why women stay so long, and accept so little. Accept such crumbs of a relationship. I know all about that self-sacrificial tolerance. It’s one thing to be patient and stoic, and another to be stupid. And I was stupid for well over a decade.

Since escaping the golden handcuffs of the mistress world, the burden of my intense unhappiness has been somewhat lifted. But it took a long time. Don't leave it that long Sisters. Make 2012 YOUR year. This is your life. Don't let someone else edit it as they see fit, and certainly not a cheating married man who will never be leaving his wife for you. Mind you, why would you even want him to?? A cheat will cheat on you remember.

Come to an online New Years Eve and New Years Day Mistresses Anonymous meeting. I will be posting the times on Facebook, so if we are not already friends there, then look me up. And go to www.mistressesanonymous.com to learn more, as well as log in to attend the online MA meeting.

Happy New You, and peace to all womenkind
Hugs
Sarah J xo

The Christmas Day online "Mistresses Anonymous Meeting"

2011-12-24T15:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood

My traditional Mistresses Anonymous meeting will be held tomorrow as follows..

11am-noon (UK time) and then 7pm-8.30pm UK time (which will be 11am-12.30pm PST, and 2-3.30pm EST.)

I hope this works, due to all the time zones etc, but we'll make it happen. So, pull up a chair, grab a glass of #13 (white wine, ala 'Step 13 of the MA Programme' being that you 'deserve one.'') and go to www.mistressesanonymous.com and click on the "MA online meetings" icon, choose a nickname (or use your real name, whatever you prefer) and its as simple as that.

I will be chairing the MA meetings tomorrow from the times mentioned above, but you are all free to stay there and chat before and after I have gone remember. Its your chatroom. Your support group.

Hope to see you all there tomorrow
Peace
Sarah J xo

The Seasonal "F word" That Makes Mistresses Sad.

2011-12-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Sisters,
At this time of year the "Festive" Season is an F word that typically brings nothing but sadness and heartache for women who are living the secret life of a Mistress. Please know that if this is you I'm thinking of you one and all, and, if you are a 2011 Mistress-at-Christmas, I do hope that with my help, and the help of my Mistresses Anonymous support group, this will be the last year you choose to live as one, and that the New Year will see you reclaim your life and realise you deserve better, so so much better!

I know exactly how you feel, and can assure you I do NOT miss one single thing about being the Other Woman at this time of year (or any other time of year come to think about it.) Its ironic how a Mistress allows herself to be second best to a married man, a man who'll be having a very happy Christmas with his family, while she'll probably be lying to her family by putting on that brave face to hide the tears she is crying inside. That "happy mask" that any Mistress knows all too well.

Most women in love with a married man hate this time of year. The forced jollity of it all. Having to watch those never-ending Christmas commercials on TV, full of beautiful happy people and normal families. Then there's those couples in love - all wrapped up in wooly jumpers and cosy scarves - laughing and kissing and showing us how much they're looking forward to spending the festive season in each other's arms by that log fire. It can be a totally depressing, frustrating, and upsetting situation, leaving the lonely Christmas-Mistress shrouded in feelings of hopelessness and misery. I know. I've been there.

If anyone reading this knows someone living as a mistress in despair of her affair, then the best advice I can give you is to never tell her to "Cheer up." or to "Pull yourself together." No, this wouldn't help, as she KNOWS she has to, she just doesn't know quite how to do it. She feels alone. And most mistresses (the single unmarried ones anyway) usually are alone on Christmas Day, and New Years Eve too. Unable to get any enjoyment out of these occasions; just waiting for it all to be over so her married lover can call and their affair can resume as normal again.

But if this is YOU reading this Sistah, then the best advice I can give you is to join Mistresses Anonymous and attend a 13-step support group meeting asap. "MA" is the pathway to freedom and liberation. So If this whole festive season makes you feel you want to go to bed and not wake up until it is all over then Christmas is not going to be a very jolly time for you. Email me at sarah@mistressesanonymous.com for more information on how to escape this world. You'll wonder what took you so long.....

Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xo

It's that time of year again...

2011-11-25T04:49:00.000-08:00

Sisters, hello.
How are you all bearing up during this time of year? I particularly reach out to all American Sisters of the Mistress-hood at this time of the year. How many of you are still living out the secret misery of being the "Other Woman" this Thanksgiving? Being put on hold while the man you are in love with is busy with the woman he is in love with, i.e. his wife. Have the holidays been hard for you, enduring stories from friends and family about their their busy holiday time with their family, while you are all alone, perpetually alone during these festive times, as well as each and every Saturday night? Are you dating the invisible man (i.e. a married one) and have no one to celebrate with? Dreading cheerful festive gatherings which you have to attend alone? If this is you, it's time to make change once and for all. If you are in despair of your affair and want out, then come to a Mistresses Anonymous ("MA") meeting. Link attached below. If as many of you as possible can find me on Facebook it will be great, as this is the main posting place for times of MA meetings etc. You may be a Mistress this Thanksgiving, but with my help, and the support of MA, I guarantee you will be in a far better place this time NEXT year. And remember, MA is like AA, but at MA we can drink. And anyone who knows anything about the 'life of the mistress' will know she often needs to!

http://www.livestream.com/uk2la

Keep the faith Sisters and see you at MA soon
Hugs
Sarah J xo

Do NOT bury your heads in the sand, Sisters!

2011-10-16T14:29:00.000-07:00

Sisters,
Although I haven't written my blog for a while, I've been busy hearing from many of you all with love dilemmas of one sort or another, and, it got me to thinking. Yes I am known for my work with Mistresses - who want to become EX-Mistresses - and yes I am the Founder and CEO of Mistresses Anonymous, but, since so many of you write to me with issues of trust, deceit, or confusion, about men, and many of them being men who are not actually married, it got me to thinking how the whole of the sisterhood need to embrace each other, to work towards being happy and fulfilled, not second best,duped, dumped, or humiliated. I welcome you all, whether you are Mistresses, Ex-Mistresses, Wanna-Be Mistresses (I'll soon knock THAT out of you if you are) or Single Women looking for Mr. Right who NEVER want to be duped into becoming a Mistress. That's the worst by the way!!

Many women want to hate me, but there is no need. I am here to help. My colorful past has given me the tools to make sure YOU don't waste valuable years with the wrong man, whether he be married or just be "Mr Unavailable" in other ways. And remember, when a man cheats he is bringing his own house of cards down with one fell swoop of his penis. This business of "The Mistress is a Homewrecker" tripe is a load of rubbish. If you knew how many homes that Mistresses actually (unwittingly) KEEP together, while rotting to their very core privately, you'd think differently.

So Ladies, we all need to do our Due Diligence on any man that walks in to our life. I am currently doing mine I can assure you. And Wives, yours should be ongoing, as a woman wrote to me here recently, to say that while she wasn't blind to the signs that her husband was cheating, she just wasn't 'looking for them.' Sadly they hit her in the face and she now knows what she could've found out ages ago.

To my Single Sisters, a woman wrote here recently to say she'd 'thought' her new boyfriend was single until 2 years into their relationship when he went and picked up with another woman. And they weren't EVEN married yet. What a charmer. Another story that sticks in my mind is the Mistress having an affair with the 'soon-to-be-married' fiance. And the wedding of whom she which was in fact due to attend as a guest. Shame on her for being such a fool, yes, but how awful to be the bride about to walk down that aisle, about to marry a fully fledged cheat even BEFORE they took their vows.

I read an interesting article in today's UK Daily Mail newspaper. At the end of it they listed 20 signs of how to spot a Psychopath. The first 17 of them resonated with me from many men I've known and should have run from. If they do you, then you know you need to look into your relationships right now. Whether you're a Mistress, a Wife, A Single Sister, or an engaged woman, do NOT ignore the signs, as I can assure you, if you put your head in the sand, all you get is sand in your hair!!

Here you go. Keep the Faith and stay real.

IS HE A PSYCHOPATH?

1 Glibness/superficial charm
2 Grandiose sense of self-worth
3 Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
4 Pathological lying
5 Cunning/manipulative
6 Lack of remorse or guilt
7 Shallow affect (superficial Range or depth of feelings)
8 Callous/lack of empathy
9 Parasitic lifestyle
10 Poor behavioural controls
11 Promiscuous sexual behaviour
12 Early behaviour problems
13 Lack of realistic long-term goals
14 Impulsiveness
15 Irresponsibility
16 Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
17 Many short-term relationships

Kisses
Sarah J. xo

Wife School: Class is in Session.

2011-09-06T04:06:00.000-07:00

Greetings from The Marriage Doctor!!

Ladies, it's THAT time of year again. This is the time of year I call "Cheaters Season." That's right, in the infidelity yearly calendar this is officially Cheaters Season! And while there may not be a Hallmark card for it yet, I can assure you it does exist, and sadly it is here to stay. We are about to enter the season that all wives need to be aware of. From the month of September, right up to Thanksgiving and Christmas, its basically open-season for many married men who decide to cheat on their wives. Married men who feel the urge to merge with another woman.

Many married men will be extremely frustrated after the confines of the long summer months (bless them), the chaotic summer vacations, and the forced-family-unit-time, leaving many of them seeking some adventure with another woman. After all, men need to reinstate their egos remember. Some married men will be looking forward to rekindling the affair they've had to put on hold during the summer period, knowing they need to work desperately hard to make amends with their 'Other Woman.' (*Wives, here's an important Wife School Tip, watch for any money going 'missing' from the ATM account during September, as he wines and dines his Mistress to try win back her affections*). It's a fact, as the summer is the time when I hear from most mistresses, all in despair-of their-affair with a man who is on the family vacation, unable to call or see his secret lover!

So Wives, I am here for you. You may not want to like me, but you sure need to listen to me. I have the secrets on how you can Affair-Proof your marriage (prevention is ALWAYS better than cure), as well as the REAL signs you should be looking for if your husband is stepping out on you. Better to know asap and nip it in the bud/deal with it, rather than let your husband have his cake and eat it, humiliating and hurting you when the truth comes out. Infidelity makes a joke of marital vows. Don't add insult to injury by being a part of that joke and turning a blind eye. That's not why you got married!!

Due to an overwhelming demand, I have started an organization called "Wife School" with all of you in mind. Having lived as the Other Woman for 14 years (not proud of that I can tell you) it blows me away to see how many wives LET their husbands cheat on them - either wittingly or unwittingly. WHY??? Ladies, never allow that 'space' to creep in between you and the man you married. Never allow a space in your marriage where another woman could walk in. And don't delegate your marital and wifely duties to another woman. That's just plain wrong.

The first rule of how to Affair-Proof your marriage is to "Act more like a Mistress than a Wife." Be there for him physically, mentally and emotionally. Treat your husband like gold and you'll automatically end up getting more of what you want too. There are many many more rules and tips. For more information, or a chance to enroll at Wife School, please email me at sarah@sarahswifeschool.com.

I urge you all to beat these cheats right out of your sheets, while enjoying being a wife at the same time. Make your husband want to come home to you, rather than have to come home to you. Huge difference. For everything else there's Wife School. Get your wife skills on!

Peace
Sarah J. x

Summer Blues???

2011-08-17T02:52:00.000-07:00

Sisters, for any of you 'suffering through' the long summer months, the time when your MM is away on vacation with his family, for God's sake get out!!!! Read the 13 steps of the Mistresses Anonymous programme below, and act upon them. Life is too short!! Take these 13 steps to freedom and reclaim YOU!

The 13 Steps and traditions of the Mistresses Anonymous Program.

1. You admit you have a problem - That your life is out of control due to living as a mistress in despair of her affair.
2. Fully commit to reclaiming your life from this skid row of relationships, from this toxic love and from the toxic married man.
3. Set goals to stop all communication with your MM (married man) and throw away everything that reminds you of him.
4. Make a list of all the things you have given up to be with your MM during the affair
5. Make inventory of all the lies he has told you and the empty promises he has made to you
6. Make a list of all the family and friends you have lied to and come clean to them.
7. Attend MA meetings and find a sponsor to keep you strong
8. Actively monitor your goals. Empower yourself. Work hard to regain your personal power, self-respect and self-esteem.
9. Practice being single. Go on a date a week with a single guy
10. Fully commit to NEVER allowing yourself to being second best again!
11. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in misery
12. Actively follow the 12 steps and share the MA message with others
13. Enjoy a nice cold glass of #13 (aka Chardonnay) you deserve it.

Narcissism And The Cheating Married Man.

2011-08-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

Sistahs
I recently told you about the pathological traits a cheating married man will display, as well as officially naming the "Three Types" of cheating-married-man. Today on the Pillow Talk Blog, I'm going to alert you to the narcissistic traits of the cheating-married-man, so read closely to save yourself valueable time, and, my stellar advice would be not just to walk away from this type of man, but to run from him!! We as women often can't help falling for the smooth-tongue of the well-practised narcissist, but by the time you've learned their true colours you're hooked, and probably hurt by this "N word" of a man!!

Promiscuity is a key behavioral sign of a narcissist, as they are always looking for the bigger better deal (BBD) - i.e. taking on a mistress or multiple sexual partners outside their marriage. And the more committed the narcissist feels his wife/partner is to him, the more willing and likely he will be to cheat. Usually because they feel they will be able to get away with it easily. (Wives, you need to come to my Wife School here, to know THE REAL signs to look for if your husband is cheating on you, as well as my proven tips on how to affair-proof your marriages.)

Narcissists often appear as charming men, making them attractive while allowing them to get away with some unsavory antics under the veil of having such a "charismatic air" about them. Narcissists, when on the prowl for an extra-marital affair, will usually attract women who crave drama (i.e. The Mistress, or The Mistress in Training, *MIT*) as well as the woman who is a care-taker, the one who thinks she can 'fix him' and erase his negative traits. They also like to go for the hottest women they can find, because they believe such women will be insecure and therefore the most susceptible to their manipulative tactics!!

The true narcissist will display traits such as vanity, entitlement and exploitativeness. They tend to talk loudly to emphasise their self-importance using great hand movements to back that up, and they are control freaks who tend to lose their charm when destabilized or threatened. They also like to belittle and ridicule others and they pick their vulnerable targets well. The narcissist will often argue and curse more than others, as well as using lots of sexual language. But hey, that's enough about Gordon Ramsay, the epitome of narcissism in the extreme. They also cannnot STAND criticism. This was proven to me once when I tried to gently tell Gordon that the food I had at his restuarant at the London Hotel in Hollywood was "kinda awful and the portions the size of cat food;" ....well my God did I get an ear full from him. Narcissists are insulted when told they are not brilliant.

Narcissistic-cheating-married-men on the prowl tend to have similar male friends, often called "Wingmen," (think David Beckham in Gordon Ramsay's case) with the same short term sexual strategies, meaning they can help each other in their quest to exploit women and find their prey for affairs or one-night stands.

So then ladies, if you are the Other Woman having an affair with a married man, the chances are he is a prize narcissist. Don't ever try to change him as he ENJOYS being one, but the more emotionally attached you get, the easier it will be for him to manipulate you, so as I first said above, don't walk, RUN!!
Wives, if you are married to a cheating husband, chances are you are married to the same type of prize narcissist that sends my girls over the edge and lands them at one of my Mistresses Anonymous support group meetings - proving what I always say, that wives and mistresses have so much more in common with each other than they ever realize. They are both in love with half of a married man who is lying to them, while he is getting the best out of two women. Come on ladies, wise up. Don't ever be in love with a man who loves himself more than you!

Hugs
Sarah J. x
*This blog posting was influenced and inspired by an excellent article I read in this month's "Psychology Today" magazine.*

The Psychopathic traits in a cheating Married Man.

2011-06-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Greetings all.

Another day and another topic for the People's Infidelity Analyst!! So today Sistahs, I want to share something interesting with you, something that I read in the brilliant PSYCHOLOGIES magazine this month; Something that got me thinking. The piece was actually about "how to spot a Psychopath" (always handy to know as we go through life eh) by way of describing some of the traits they typically exude. The piece was made even more interesting by the fact that they liken crazy men (i.e. psychopaths) to the type of man who has propelled himself to be an extremely successful CEO! You know the way my mind works by now, so when I read the article I couldn't help but notice that there are many similarities between the traits of the psycho, and that of the cheating married man (especially Types 1 and Types 2 of the cheating married man variety.) It's quite scary, but read on to find out some of the main traits that the psychopath, the CEO.... AND the cheating MM share!

1. A Grandiose Sense of Self-worth. No explanation needed here. "Entitlement to cheat," as we refer to it over here at Infidelity HQ.

2. Believing in Yourself and Being Cunning and Manipulative. This is backed up in the piece by one CEO, Al Dunlap, who states, "That is what makes for good leadership - manipulating people to do what you want them to." *Enter the manipulation tactics of the MM here.* Those deceitful skills he uses to keep his wife in the dark, while manipulating his Mistress to stay around 'just long enough' to help the longevity of his marriage. Real life example here, Ian Tosser Todd once told me that I was 'very manipulative.' I really did LOL at that one at the time, as I told him that 'I had learned it from the best.' (i.e. him - as he is a sports agent at IMG and manipulates people for a living.) Being the Type 1 cheating MM meant that Todd was the classic narcissist too, so he was "very proud" of my retort back to him. Priceless eh.

3. Absence of Deep Emotions. This one is brilliant, as no cheating married man wants to be burdened with that heavy load of emotion. All that emotional claptrap eh. As I say in my Handbook for the Other Woman, cheating married men don't have a conscience as it would be too heavy for them to carry around. It would weigh them down during their already very very busy day!

So the moral of this blog is to take note sistahs. All of you. That goes for Wives, Mistresses, Girlfriends, and Fiancees. The Pillow Talk Blog is THE blog that keeps it real. And, watch out men, as I'm exposing all your little secrets - and your duplicitous tactics - for my global sisterhood to see. Soon we will be immune to any tricks you try to pull on us. End of.

Hugs
Sarah J x

The Three Types of Cheat: 1, 2, 3!!

2011-06-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

Well Sistahs,

I'm glad so many of you liked my blog about Randy Ryan Giggs, the "Pig in Football Boots." And by now, most of you will know that I have officially recorded the "Symonds Says" version of, "The Three Types of Married Men That Cheat." You'll have seen that Ryan Giggs falls under the category of "Type 1," - The Serial Philanderer, for whom one woman is never enough, however good his marriage might be. The serial philanderer is also a classic narcissist (think Gordon Ramsay for example). And you will notice that most male celebrities - when exposed for cheating - fall into the Type 1 bracket, especially as they have money, as we all know, money buys power (and lots of hotel rooms and fancy dinners and drinks too....!!). To clarify, Type 1 is the married man who should have NEVER got married. The type who is usually cheating while even preparing for his wedding, then who needs a multitude of women on-the-go whilst married to satisfy his huge ego, however good things may be at home. Most Type 1 MM's become unmarried by the time the fiasco is over. Think of Tiger and Arnie for examples of this.

Now, I've been asked to list Types 2 and 3 too. So here you go. Beware to stay well away from Types 1 and 2 as they are extremely toxic, and with Type 3, unless managed properly, with strict guidelines and objectives (followed up with goals and ultimatums) will just break your heart. Don't EVER let that happen ladies. You are waaay too good for that.

Type 2: This is, "Mr. Wants to Have His Cake and Eat it." This is the married man who actually loves his wife, and enjoys his marriage, home life, and their social life together. He would never dream of leaving her -or all that - ever. However, Type 2 needs to spice up a marriage that has become familiar and stale so he takes on another woman on the side to help keep his marriage ticking along, and to provide the sex (or variation) that he may not be getting at home

Type 3: This is the "Genuinely UNhappily" married man. Either he married the wrong person/for the wrong reasons/the marriage has become unworkable. When/if he does meet the RIGHT woman he'll have the integrity (for ALL concerned) to get out of his marriage in a timely & decent manner, and make a new life with the woman of his dreams. Many Type 3's go on to have successful happy 2nd marriages and extended families.

So just to recap (and cut out and keep this as a crib note in your handbags Sistahs) Type 1: is The Serial Philanderer. Type 2: is "Mr. Wants to Have His Cake and Eat It." And Type 3. is the genuinely unhappily married man who wants out.

Peace and Hugs
Sarah J x

The Infidelity Analyst's take on Weinergate.

2011-06-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

Hello troops,

Well, what a week for male celebrity cheating stories, from Ryan Giggs to Anthony Weiner and his misdemeanors! Although I've had as much fun as everyone by ribbing him and using him (and his unfortunate surname) as the butt of many jokes, I do think it's time we all got off our high horses, and came down from our lofty moral high-ground for a minute and I will explain why. After all, it's my duty to do so as your Infidelity Analyst.

First of all, lets be clear on something, YES, what Weiner did WAS cheating. You can examine and analyze that all you like, but the simple answer is that if your husband is getting an erection for another woman, and errrm, shall we say, having a "happy ending" out of it too, then I'm afraid people it IS cheating. The only time it is NOT cheating is when a wife or partner knows about it and lets her spouse get on with it. Seems that is not the case here with Mr. and Mrs. Weiner based on his tearful public apologies to her (yawn).

The thing that Weinergate has done, is to highlight the endemic of married men who are living in marriages where they are sexually UNsatisfied. The plethora of married men who wait for their wives to go up to bed (urging them to go up as early as possible to "get some rest") so that they can get their boxer shorts out, log onto their favorite porn site, and sext and text with their mistresses - or just random women on line - who may be awake and 'up for it.' I challenge many of you not to have ever sexted/texted with another person late at night. I know I surely have. But more of that another time. And to be even-handed here, let me also qualify that many wives CHOOSE to go up to bed early, to be asleep (or feign sleep) by the time their husbands come up, worried they may 'bother them' to have sex. A quick release downstairs at the computer usually sorts out that botheration though.

Weiner was ridiculously stupid to go this far in his position, and his judgement off-the-radar in thinking this would never come back to haunt him. I mean, all this stuff is logged, from FB messages, photos, emails, pictures, and phone calls... I can assure you that most women in these situations keep everything, and I know that for a fact.

The thing that makes me feel so sorry for Weiner, and men like him, is that he WAS so desperate for attention. So DESPERATE for his sexual voids to be filled. It speaks volumes about his marriage and their sex life. Also, the fact that his wife is on the road for a huge chunk of the year, with her high-powered job as Hilary Clinton's aide (oh the irony THERE) means that the poor guy was just looking for a bit of hand relief late at night. Where was Mrs. Weiner eh? Libya, Afghanistan? Oh and those pictures of him home alone, sitting on the sofa, his fluffy little cat next to him. There are millions of married men who are that lonely late at night too.

So, to be clear, I am not blaming anyone in this story, blame is not a word I use, however, Mrs. Weiner needs to take a long hard look at WHY her husband felt compelled to do these things, and why he was NOT doing them with her. Also, him standing up there crying and apologizing will not get him far, as while he may seek the public's atonement, it doesn't get down to the root of what is missing in his life sexually.

My advice for anyone getting married (and theirs was a new marriage) is to marry someone you can be YOUR TRUE SELF with. If you like to dress up in red stilettos every night and swing from the chandeliers, and you marry someone who a.) doesn't know that, or b.) would have no part of that, then you will NEVER be happy and satisfied, and will ALWAYS seek out a secret outlet with someone who is willing to meet you on that sexual level.

And this is exactly why I have just started a new organization called Wife School, to school wives up on how to be the best wives they can, how to NOT be cheated on, and how to affair-proof their marriages. Basically, "How to Live Your Best Wife!" I'm excited about this new venture.

Peace, as ever
Sarah J x

Legs 11; Ryan Giggs - a cheater in Football Boots.

2011-06-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

Dear all

As the World's foremost Infidelity Analyst, it's time for me to weigh-in on the Ryan Giggs situation - or of the current situation so far!

Let me start off with the fact that there are three categories of men who cheat; I call them "Types 1, 2, and 3." Ryan Giggs definitely falls into the Type 1 bracket. Type 1 is the "Serial Philanderer." However good his life - and his marriage - the serial cheat will always need numerous women on the side to help fulfill and boost his huge inflated ego and his sense of entitlement. Most married, male, celebrity cheats fall into the Type 1 bracket. Tiger Woods was a classic Type 1 cheater too. These are men surrounded by too much money and too many temptations. They are never satisfied with 'just one' of anything. I mean, imagine a Footballer (a Manchester United one especially) having just one car, one holiday, or one tattoo?! Never. So why are we then shocked that one woman is never enough for them. I truly believe it is in the premiership footballer's DNA to cheat, and some would say their wives and girlfriends (aka WAGS) know this and expect it to take place. We can safely say that they are rarely disappointed - and with the most respected man in football having cheated, this is prime example. It also seems the rule of thumb is that WAGS always stay with their cheating husbands. I guess in their world there is nothing that a new Range Rover, or a "make up trip" to Dubai won't sort out.

The case of Ryan Gigg's affair is a little more shocking than most though. The fact that he was cheating with Imogen Thomas is one thing (and also rumour of another woman/women too) but to also be cheating with his sister-in-law?? Wow, that just breaks every rule in the book. This not only damages his marriage but also his whole family too. Not to mention the "family image" he worked so hard and to create. What a fake! But let me just put on record the amount of pathological behaviour, and duplicitous tactical skills it takes to carry out such a lie for EIGHT years. If only his skills had been as good on the pitch he might have been able to score for us against Barcelona a few weeks ago.

We now know Giggs is a pig in football boots - especially since today's rumour that he even tried it on with his Mother-in-Law too, what a charmer eh! - and we know that Imogen Thomas will have the "typical mistress story" to tell, but the woman I would love to hear from is his wife, Stacey Giggs. I'd LOVE to know why she is staying, just how she forgives a cheat at this level, as well as ask her if she 'really did NOT have a clue??'

Watch this space.
Peace and hugs all
Sarah J x

The 13 Steps of the Mistresses Anonymous Program.

2011-05-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

The 13 Steps and traditions of the Mistresses Anonymous Program.

1. You admit you have a problem - That your life is out of control due to living as a mistress in despair of her affair.
2. Fully commit to reclaiming your life from this skid row of relationships, from this toxic love & from the toxic married man.
3. Set goals to stop all communication with your MM (married man) and throw away everything that reminds you of him.
4. Make a list of all the things you have given up to be with your MM during the affair
5. Make inventory of all the lies he has told you and the empty promises he has made to you
6. Make a list of all the family and friends you have lied to and come clean to them
7. Attend MA meetings and find a sponsor to keep you strong
8. Actively monitor your goals. Empower yourself. Work hard to regain your personal power, self-respect and self-esteem.
9. Practice being single. Go on a date a week with a single guy
10. Fully commit to NEVER allowing yourself to being second best again!
11. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in misery
12. Actively follow the 12 steps and share the MA message with others
13. Enjoy a nice cold glass of #13 (aka Chardonnay) you deserve it.

Vancouver IS the Infidelity Capital of the World.

2011-05-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

Well well well....I have only been here in Vancouver for a week, but I can certainly tell you that this city is a HOT BED of infidelity. I have been inundated with Sisters of the Mistresshood writing to me and coming to my Mistresses Anonymous meetings. With two MA meetings done, and two still to go in Downtown Vancouver tonight and tomorrow, we can certainly say that the Infidelity Analyst is being kept very busy. Who would have known that in Vancouver it's not a case of Sex and the City, but more like Infidelity and the City!!

I'm off to meet tons more sisters of the mistresshood at my MA meeting in a few hours. Lots are showing up tonight because they are free to, since typically - the life of a Mistress - means you are always available and alone on Saturday nights! Update you all soon.
Keep the faith
Canadian cuddles
Sarah xox

Greetings from Vancouver...

2011-05-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

Sisters of Vancouver, hello!!!
I hope you will all tune in to "The Dr. Phil Show" tomorrow and Wednesday, broadcast here on CTV channel, where you will see some of our very brave sisters of the mistresshood telling their stories. I'd love to hear from any of you, both in Canada and America, who would like to be a part of other TV show's I am doing, as well as let me know if you are interested in me coming to your city and State to rescue YOU from living the life of "A Mistress!"

Write to me in confidence and I will reply personally.
Keep the faith
Hugs,
Sarah x

Va Va Voom Vancouver!

2011-04-21T17:36:00.000-07:00

Calling all sisters of the Mistress-hood in Canada...

Infidelity Expert and infamous ex-mistress, Sarah Symonds will be in Vancouver on May 5, 6, 7 & 8 to host Canada’s first “Mistresses Anonymous” workshops
Sarah has been featured on Oprah, The Dr. Phil Show, The View and Larry King Live to share her experiences and discuss how mistresses can break free from the despair of an affair

Vancouver, BC April, 2011– UK based author, broadcaster, journalist, and the world’s first and only “Infidelity Analyst,” Sarah Symonds, will be in Vancouver to host a series of free “Mistresses Anonymous” workshops, the first of their kind in Canada. The workshops will offer mistresses life-changing advice based on Sarah’s own personal experiences, and give them the tools to help them break free from their toxic relationships. Sarah would like to extend an invitation to women trapped in affairs with married men across the lower mainland to attend her confidential workshops in Vancouver, Burnaby and Surrey on May 5, 6, 7, & 8. The day before the workshops kick-off, you can catch Sarah’s latest network television appearance on “The Doctor Phil Show” on May 4th.

Following her groundbreaking appearance on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” in 2008, Symonds has appeared regularly on the popular shows “The Dr. Phil Show,” and “Larry King Live,” plus “The View,” “Dateline NBC,” “What Would You Do?,” to name a few. Sarah’s hard-hitting, straight-edge approach makes her hot property on the talk-show circuit and she is frequently called upon by the news media to comment when stories break about celebrity marriages being rocked by affairs and sex-scandals.
From London to Los Angeles, Sarah has worked with numerous mistresses by offering support, advice and a safe haven for women to discuss their experiences in a confidential, non-judgmental environment. Known for her own high-profile celebrity affairs, Sarah, the now reformed “other woman,” has vowed to help other women trapped in similar circumstances. Sarah states, “I know all too well the heartache and frustration that comes from living a double life as the girlfriend of a married man. I’ve made it my mission to help the sisters of the mistress-hood break free.”

Sarah’s first book, the controversial self-help manual “Having an Affair? A Handbook for the Other Woman” attracted huge media attention in 2007, making her a real life “Dear Amy” overnight success. Since then, Sarah has cultivated a massive following of women, all seeking her advice on complex relationships. She continues to stir the minds of millions of women with questions on how to get out of toxic relationships.
In addition to managing her “Mistresses Anonymous Support Group,” Sarah has hosted her own weekly LA radio show, “Between the Sheets,” which she created, wrote and co-produced. Sarah also writes a relationship advice blog called “Pillow Talk” and is currently penning her memoirs, as well as writing her next self-help book.

For more information or to reserve a seat at the free Mistresses Anonymous workshop, please visit www.MistressesAnonymous.com .

Sarah Symonds is available for interviews in Vancouver May 2nd – 4th. Prior to these dates, Sarah is available for interview by phone from the U.K. For more information and to schedule an interview, please contact:
Lesley Diana – The Promotion People lesley@thepromotionpeople.ca 604-726-5575

Ian Todd goes viral...

2011-03-21T18:19:00.000-07:00

Sisters
As you all know by now, Mr. X is non other than Ian T. Todd, President of IMG International. I was thrilled to see that he has finally set up a Twitter account, all be it of course fake, I have no doubt. Ian was unable to use a computer, had never used one in his life, and, when he was (amazingly) asked to come back to work for IMG, he actually approached me to start ANOTHER affair with him (yawn) just as his wife Alex thought he was trying to make things work at home too (snore) as he said he "needed me to help him keep up to date with the latest technology, and social media, in order to be a success in his new IMG role at his late age." Thank God I didn't fall for that one eh sisters. And yes, I know, I know, you always say you can't believe I was with someone like him, someone who looks old enough to be my Grandfather. What can I say eh, love is blind maybe? Ha...

I see his IMG chum Alastair Johnston's daughter is now hooked up with Tiger Woods, LOL. Another IMG deal no doubt. Ian always told me how they had set up Elin to marry Tiger, as it suited 'their product.' Well since they have now negotiated Tiger's latest girlfriend too, should we be looking at IMG moving into the dating arena? Could be a great success if Teddy Forstmann gets behind that one. No pun intended.

Oh the stories I could tell, but I have to save them for my forthcoming book, "Memoirs of a Former Mistress." Wait til you hear the "candle story" sisters, and, thats all I can say about that right now. But, read all about it very soon :-P

Peace and hugs
Sarah J x

A Mistress in Wife's clothing....

2011-03-11T19:10:00.000-08:00

Sisters
I have an amazing story that I just have to share. Talk about truth being stranger than fiction.

Ok, so, a friend of mine recounted a story about the time when she went away with her married lover. For the sake of this story, lets say they went to the Caribbean (it was pretty close.) My friend - the mistress - lets call her Jane, had jumped at the chance to go away with her man, lets call him Bob. And although Bob was actually travelling on business, like many of these randy married men, he had taken Jane with him on expenses. As their plane touched down, Bob told her that his friend, a work peer, was picking them up at the airport and that he'd really appreciate if she could 'pretend she was his wife.' His wife was short, homely, and overweight (Jane had seen the photos) and Jane was anything but!!! However, as any mistress will tell you, it's all about covering for your man, so she went along with it.

That night, Jane and Bob joined the friend and HIS wife for dinner at a local restaurant. Bob had pleaded with Jane not to give the game away, and dutifully she sat there all night pretending to be Bob's wife, talking about THEIR two kids, and saying all the right things (*Note to readers, what a cad to make her do that, and to belittle his wife in that way at the same time!). She says the evening went well, as well as could be expected when you are impersonating someone else I guess. Jane recalls that the friend's wife was pleasant, although a little boring.

The NEXT night, said friend invited them out to dinner again, but this time meets them first for a drink and takes Jane to one side, begging her to do him a favour. Are you ready? He wanted to tell her that this night it would be his mistress - not his wife - joining them, and he begged her to be ok with it. Seems the begging was becoming a pattern! Jane can handle most things and is not very shock-able, but now she was impersonating a wife, when she was really a mistress, and was about to have dinner with a man and his mistress, while only having met his wife the night before. Can we say complicated??!!

Jane and the mistress got on great. Well of COURSE they would eh!! They were both having an affair with a married man, yet Jane had to keep quiet about her part in that. She tells me the mistress was half the wife's age and totally stunning. Throughout the rest of the trip, the man kept thanking Jane for her discretion, while telling her he just WISHED he had the type of marriage that she and Bob had so that he wouldn't have had to take a mistress on. Meanwhile, Jane was pleading with Bob to put the guy out of his misery by telling him the truth about them, and that Bob was just the same as him, that Jane too was his bit on the side. But no, Bob kept his lips glued tight.

Fast forward a year or so, and this friend came to London on business. Bob felt he should repay his courtesy from the trip, but this is where it gets awkward. This time, on home turf, Bob's REAL wife had to be invited along for dinner, meaning Bob FINALLY had to come clean to his friend before they all met up. Ironically, Jane and Bob had finished their affair around the same time. Jane contacting the friend - as all mistresses generally do - and telling him how awkward she'd felt at lying during the trip, and how relieved she now was that he knew the truth. The guy, who by now had met Bob's REAL wife, went on to tell her that Jane and the wife could not be more different!! Yet til this day, Bob is STILL married, STILL professing to be a good husband, and STILL seeing Jane on and off (but now its totally on her terms and when it suits her to do so!).

For any of you who have read my book, you might like to know that Jane, is actually Mistress B....
To be continued...

Peace
Sarah J x

Mistresses Anonymous meeting in LA

2011-01-07T03:34:00.000-08:00

Yo, all sisters of the mistress-hood, due to popular demand I am planning to host a live MA meeting in LA in a few weeks. Please write to me if you'd like to attend. Even if you are from outer state, we might be able to arrange something. Contact me in confidence on sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com or just leave a comment here too.

Keep the faith
Hugs
Sarah J. x

Open Letter to Tana Ramsay

2010-11-12T17:31:00.001-08:00

Dear Tana,

I can't help but write this open letter to you after reading Gordon's "heartfelt" interview in Saturday's Daily Mail. I had to reach out to you and offer you my support at this ghastly time, especially due to the weak individual he is trying to portray you as.

I offer you my support with much credibility Tana, as, after my affair with your husband was exposed, I've worked extremely hard to reform myself, and now, as the World's first, and only, "Infidelity Analyst," I'm able to use my intimate inside knowledge (and lessons learned by my mistakes of the heart) to help women everywhere live in the truth. I especially help wives all over the world by mentoring them on how NOT to be used and humiliated by their husbands, especially by celebrity ones who think they can have it all. So, hand on heart, I write to you here today with all good intentions, because after reading - along with the rest of the world - all that is being said about you by Gordon, and by your father, I really feel for you. I mean, it can't be easy for a woman like you to be perceived by both of them as SO weak, and so easy to manipulate. Tana, you are a successful woman, mother, and author, and represent what so many married women aspire to be. What they are saying is damaging and it's unfair of them. After all, they are the ones with the secrets, with the clearly dodgy dealings!! To me this is classic behavior of the typical narcissist; to deflect any wrong doing by immediately going on the attack, but aiming to use a weaker person in the scenario to look as though they are being the 'big man'. Yawn!

I know full well what it is like to be manipulated by bullies and powerful men with huge egos Tana, and sadly your husband featured as one of them in my life for way too long. I can now totally and absolutely see why he'd always tell me that he and your father were "so tight," as - from what is unfolding for all to see - it seems they share so MANY of the same 'qualities' (or rather, traits should I say) not least in how they are dealing with this ugly debacle for all the world to see. It is hard to even get through the interviews they are both giving, as every word is dripping with such hatred and innuendo. I guess they are both trying to be the first to expose each other and spill the dirt. Bit like kids in a playground really. Pathetic!

Tana, after the news of my affair with Gordon broke, I read in an article somewhere that you said you, "admired you mother and father greatly", and that you'd always, "wanted a marriage like they had!" I swear that is why I truly thought you stayed with Gordon when you found out he had been cheating on you with me, and with others, as I thought you were perhaps referring to the secret life your father had too. I assumed you'd perhaps been brought up in a Jimmy Goldsmith type household, where everything was out in the open.

So, to read in Gordon's interview that, "Tana still does not know everything about her father, but she is certainly getting up to speed — and that is a little scary. She knows about 90 per cent. She has been shocked. She struggled. It is a big blow. She had this perfect image of her daddy and it is not there....", then again, hand on heart, I am honestly blown away. My God, you must not know who to trust anymore, and I don't blame you!!!! It seems that both men have lied to you and manipulated you, but sadly you have let them Tana. You are way too nice, and way too good for them. I always recommend wives show more backbone at times like these. Show them what you are made of and stand up to these men. Regain some self-respect and dignity and not let your man/men treat you as a weaker individual. After all, men (whoever they are) will ONLY walk all over you IF YOU LET THEM!

Reading the interview Gordon gave to the Daily Mail was like wading through treacle. I question how a 'man' can sit there and say all those things about another man's private life, when he himself has so many skeletons in that department. Also, how can he still try to pull the wool over the eyes of the general public by pretending to be such a family man, worried about his kids and his wife etc, when he never seemed worried about them when he was with me, and doing his own thing. I find it all very bizarre, and I have to wonder if he is indeed having a breakdown, has become 'that monster,' or is perhaps on some kind of wrong medication for those pesky mood swings. Perhaps you ought to check?

When I read that he referred to you as being used as a "target" by your family when his back was turned, in order to, "try to manipulate and poison," my heart went out to you. Making you out to seem as though you have no mind of your own and could be poisoned that easily? And the kicker was, when he referred to you as, "the weak point," they all saw you as? WHAT??? God... that was low. Furthermore, he refers to you as in floods of tears and is constantly listening to you bawling your eyes out? That is hugely sexist, let alone something that is best kept private. If only Gordy would own up to his part of what drives you to these floods of tears eh Tana? Mind you, that would take integrity, so we better pass on that one.

Anyhow, I am in your corner Tana as I certainly know how hard it is to discover that people you've loved and trusted are not who you thought they were at all. It is HEARTBREAKING. Trust me, I know that feeling. And, although I don't know your mother from Adam, if she really did give you that advice about dumping Gordon, she kinda has my vote here I have to say....

Take care.
Peace and hugs
Sarah x

The Ian Todd comment posted by 'anonymous!'

2010-09-25T16:31:00.000-07:00

Someone had the cheek to post a comment here that, "Ian Todd didn't do anything to me that we both hadn't agreed to in advance." WHAT?? Well, whoever you are, you sure know nothing about any of this, so don't you dare try to pass comment. Please refrain from speaking about things you know nothing about. What Ian Todd did to me is beyond thinkable, especially for someone as small-minded as you obviously are, so lets just leave it at that. He is a dangerous sexual predator, and a liar, and the more people who know that the better. If I can prevent even just one other woman falling in to his devious, deceitful, selfish and spiteful trap, then I will be pleased to know I helped them. Oh, and I've moved on all right thank you. Am very happy right now, and my work is to prevent other women being duped by him, and men like him. The fact that he is one of the Presidents of IMG makes things even worse, although, it also makes him one of the most well trained manipulators going, as he would often remind me when I tried to run!!

So, whoever you are, and you didn't have the guts to write your name, then don't bother leaving any more inane blog comments about something you know nothing about!

2010-09-20T03:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Sisters,

One of our own needs us. I have given her some advice on an email, but she would like very much YOUR feedback, and to know if you guys have done such things. (We all have right!!). My main message to her is 'what's done is done,' and that this man pushed her to such a place of pain that she was not responsible for her actions. She became as bad as him (we all do) and at the end of the day she actually did the wife a favour by telling her. My concern is that the wife is not genuine though, and is not really divorcing him at all. Please help her by leaving some comments of encouragement below, as only you all can.

"Hello my fellow sisters -- I am in a dilemma over something I've done, and I would really appreciate your honest feedback.

After a year and a half, I anonymously contacted the soon-to-be-ex-wife of my MM (using an old email address) and told her that he was having an affair and that she should "hire an investigator because he may be bi-sexual too" (this I suspect based on insecurities he had revealed to me about himself). The wife wrote me back that "we are already divorcing" and that she "has never trusted him but couldn't prove anything" and then asked me to help her with the divorce by sending her proof. She promised to keep my identity confidential. I told her I'd think about it, and never contacted her again. She never contacted me again either.

My dilemma is this: I knew contacting her was wrong and was "bad karma" but I didn't care at the time. I just HAD to know if they were really divorcing (like he told me) and what the story was. Now that I know, I do not feel any better. I feel HORRIBLE. I am a worse betrayer than he ever was. I betrayed his "very personal insecurities" that he disclosed to me (about his "issues as a man"). And I am ashamed to say that I am more concerned about the bad karma than about any damage I did to him. Or her.

Also, what if he finds out it was me? I think I used that email with him at one time. I am not a bad person, I really am a good person, which is why I can't understand why I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did. Am I terrible? Should I tell him what I did? There's no excuse for doing that, in my opinion. Please tell me your opinions, and if you've ever felt this way or did this too.

Thank you, Sisters.
Anonymous"

Mistresses on BBC1

2010-07-30T04:26:00.000-07:00

Well,
The third season of the show Mistresses starts here on BBC1 next week. Sadly, I find it boring and thoroughly depressing, as it is so not true to life at all. But, with purported viewing audiences of 9m per episode, it just shows the amount of interest and intrigue in this topic. If only we could have a reality show about Mistresses. Now that would be worth watching. True life is always better than fiction...

Have a nice weekend you all.
Peace
Sarah J x

Mad Max... or not?

2010-07-18T05:01:00.001-07:00

Dear all,
I have been following the Mel Gibson story closer than some - since his destructive and toxic relationship with this Russian broad was born of an affair - I feel I have to. But firstly, let me put on record that I do NOT condone physical violence nor racism whatsoever.

What is making me sick, is that everyone is so ready to condemn him BEFORE we know the truth, and the actual details. Let alone the proof. So far, from what I am reading, I can see that Mel is the victim of an incredibly vicious gold digger, and what she is doing to him actually shows she has a far more evil character than he does, and has major anger issues herself. She is far from a sweet little innocent victim in all this. If Mel did hit her that night, I wonder why she didn't immediately call the cops on him to protect herself, like most women would, and like we have seen most celebrity wives do (think of Charlie Sheen's wife for example). But no, this woman decided to turn the tapes over to the paparazzi rather than to the law. I mean, if this happened back in January, wouldn't she have been so worried and scared from him, that she'd be seeking a restraining order against him before now, so that he wouldn't come anywhere near her or the baby? And, because the tapes are so obviously sliced, diced, and tampered with, they will be inadmissable in court, and won't be able to be used. Therefore, if he DID hit her, he will probably go unpunished, whereas if she HAD called the cops on him, he would get a just punishment and would be made and example of for other abusive men!

As an infidelity analyst, I hear from people every day asking my advice on their relationship problems, and it's my job to try to understand human behavior, good and bad, and get to the root of why we do certain things. Mel Gibson is/was a brilliant actor, who only 6 years ago was number one on the Forbes Celebrity 100 list. When things were going well he was applauded in Hollywood, and was welcomed by the very people who are now turning their back on him. When he was making a ton of money for them things were fine and dandy, but now, when the man needs serious mental help to conquer his many demons, all he is getting is ridicule and the cold shoulder. Nice!

I don't believe that Mel is really a racist. Yes he has said some awful, offensive and hateful things, but these were said in a tsunami of rage. When you are overtaken by rage and anger you really do not know, nor care, what you are saying and doing.

If Mel was giving sober, calm interviews, and in those one on ones he was saying these hideous things, it would be different, but this man was poisoned by alcohol when he launched into most of his rants, so while it is shocking to hear, I am not surprised at all. I am not defending Mel per se, but I am standing his corner to highlight the problems of alcohol and (alleged) physical abuse in regular every day relationships, i.e. not just with Hollywood movie stars.

If Mel did actually hit this woman, we will have another conversation about it, but for now, all I can see from her side is a manipulating gold digger. She met Mel and saw an opportunity. He opened a door and she walked through it. They started an affair, so she was his mistress to begin with (hence the toxicity and the relationship not having a chance in hell from the get-go). He then left his wife for her, he gave her (AND HER SON from another man) a roof over her head, and God knows what else too. She then goes and tricks him into parenthood again (I mean, do you think he REALLY wants to be changing diapers again at 54??), he gives her $5m to produce some album she was working on, and then when things were not going her way, she riles him to a point of insanity. If I was Mel I would be angry at her too, and could think of a few worse names than the ones he used, thats for sure.

I will say though, that whatever the outcome, if Mel didn't use condoms with her due to the fact he is 'so catholic' that won't wash with me. As, part of being a good catholic is to remain faithful to your wife. Which is why I no longer practice the religion personally!

Mel Gibson and I do have one thing in common though, we have both been banned by Barbara Walters from appearing on the show "The View" ever again, both for different reasons, but both seem to involve a semblance of verbal abuse issues. More on that another time!

Peace
Sarah J. x

Al, Mel, and Tiger... What Great 'Men' LOL!

2010-07-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

Well well well. Lots to talk about right now! Let's look at Al Gore first, and his little case of the "inconvenient truth" coming out! First of all, lets just get one thing straight, and that is, what man doesn't want a happy ending after a massage...and, if his name wasn't Al Gore, nobody would be at all interested in this story. However, all men should learn from this, as if you are the type to request "extra services," then you'd better tip her well, or expect a backlash from it all in the future.

What I would like to know is how Al, who was supposed to be busy saving the world for us, could afford the TIME to have a THREE AND A HALF hour massage?? And, moreover, did he put it on expenses? Hello?? Something is definitely not right here. I mean, I know there is not a lot to do in Portland Oregon (I know that first hand after going there many times with Mr. X, aka Ian Todd, when he was with Nike) but still.... Al? What WERE you thinking. The transcript of the alleged incident written from the woman's side is a little weird...and I think extremely fabrictaed. But, we all know there is no smoke without fire. And it seems there was definitely some global warming going on in Al Gore's pants department!! Not being a fan of Al it is such fun to watch him squirm through the details of all this! At least it took the heat off Larry David's Mrs, who had supposed to have been having an affair with Al for the past two years....

Mel Gibson. What a lovely fellow he is eh! Could one say that he has some anger issues and demons per chance? As the infidelity analyst, let me look at the bigger picture to this story. Just how BAD their relationship was for her to think of taping him in the first place(although, I was told that taping someone in CA without their consent is against the law, but still, needs must I guess!) First mistake was to bring another Gibson child into the world. Why oh why? Obviously planned by the Russian mistress, as between that kid and the one she has with ex James Bond star Timothy Dalton, she $hould be set for life. Bet Mel loved that, walking right into a new relationship that was just like the marriage he had left. Full of responsibility and child rearing. Fun Fun Fun. And, he doesn't even drink anymore...wonder how he coped. Oh well. At least we can add racist to the list of other qualities Mel Gibson has.

As for Elin Woods, she must be pleased as punch to get such a massive payout of $750million. Is that the price of humilitaion these days? Hmmm... Mind you, she will also be reeling that her silence has been bought, as just think how much she would like to spill the real beans on that pig Tiger Woods. Her book would have flown off the shelves. Hopefully if she is smart she will find a way around it. There always is one. A ghostwriter is a good start. After all, he may have bought HER silence, but he hasn't bought the silence of THE person she tells the whole story to, off the record of course :-).

Peace out
SJS x

Open letter to Rachel Uchitel

2010-05-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

As founder of the Mistresses Anonymous Society, a 12-step program to help women wake up and "dump that married man," I have to write this open letter regards fellow sister of the mistress-hood Rachel Uchitel. I was disgusted by her interview last week on TMZ. (Here is the link incase you can stomach it http://www.tmz.com/2010/05/14/rachel-uchitel-tiger-woods-david-boreanaz-tmz-live-mistress-extortion-money/)

"Dear Rachel
As founder of the Mistresses Anonymous Society - which I pioneered to help women get OUT of their toxic relationships with married man - I was appalled to see your self-righteous attitude while giving a TV interview last week. Sitting there in your low cut dress, you smugly epitomized absolutely everything bad about the "other woman" that I have worked so hard to eradicate. As you languished there with your deep (fake) suntan, white teeth, off the shoulder number, and acrylic nails, it was clear to see where Tiger's money is being well spent, and that's fine, but sadly you represented the stereotypical "hot-to-trot-whore look" that people always want to label the other woman with. So well done. Good job. You just made life a whole lot harder for the rest of us, and you played right into everybody's hands. Namely the media.

Having been extremely vocal about my own affairs (and there is STILL much more to come) I do get that you want to voice your side of the story, truly I do, but when will you start assuming some responsibility yourself eh Rachel? When will you start to accept the part you played in all this too? Yes I am sure these men told you many lies, and while we know that nobody FORCED any of them to sleep with you, it was their choice, trust me love, however hot you may think you look, if you had said no, they would have surely found someone else to sleep with. Married men who want to cheat always find a way.

I have far more respect for Tiger's other women than you. At least they seem to own their own truth. They know who they are, like we all should, and are not afraid to say it. I hope if I ever see you on TV again, you will have adopted a more caring and contrite attitude. If you need some help with that, come to one of my Mistresses Anonymous meetings. A tip though, come in disguise, as you're not very popular right now. Not even with your fraternity!"

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/endquote_kWcXlGQEmY9fjYo9UWwiIK

Mr X Exposed...(again, yawn)

2010-05-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

I've recently been asked to come clean about my past married man liaisons, as part of my 12-step Mistresses Anonymous program, the "being honest and living in the truth" inventory-taking, to propel me toward a better, more healthy, and honest lifestyle. Well then, lets do Mr. X, as he was definitely the most dangerous man in my life thus far, the one who emotionally manipulated me and mentally abused me to a degree that had me not even knowing what I was doing at times during our two-and-half year relationship. Ironically, he chose not to tell me he was even married for a while. That makes sense now though. When I finally asked him why he hadn't told me, he feebly whined, "I thought you wouldn't bother with me if I told you the truth." Nice eh. Mr. X is - as sooooo many of you already know by now - the President of IMG International, and yes, he is not my usual type, and WAY too old (almost getting his pension now) but he did pursue me like a heat seeking missile, so what's a gal supposed to do. Here is a piece that the NY Post wrote last year.

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/gordon_ramsay_lover_names_another_zQmq3CnxxSLRFo73QrvztO

As a very vocal advocator for women's rights, it is my role to categorically let all women know about Ian Todd, and about the many men like him in general. To warn women of the pitfalls of falling for such smiling con-men, and the decay of getting involved in their web of lies and selfish deceit, just so the man can have his cake AND eat it. For example, when his (common law) wife found out about our affair, after some three-way altercations, she thought he went on to end it with me. The poor woman thought that Ian was 'working on his relationship with her' and no doubt thought that also included him being faithful to her too. But, his idea of 'working on it' was to come back to me and beg me to start our affair again (one day he even turned up at my door semi-naked, wearing only his t-shirt; which was pretty stupid really as I lived in an apartment block) . Stupidly I did go back, but when I realized what a weasel I was dealing with for STILL cheating on his wife with me, and STILL lying to her about it, I finally kicked him out. About a year later, he came to LA to look for me, crying, and again begging me to go back. He also told me that during that year apart, he had gone on to have two more affairs/one night stands with two women in London. The reason he said he had done that, was to "see" if he could replace what he had had with me. (Translation: great sexual chemistry). I didn't know whether to feel flattered or sick to my stomach. The latter won.

That just shows HOW many women were falling for it all. Me, his wife, plus his other said 'victims.' I bet there have been more since, as after all, a cheating leopard never really changes it's spots. Just ask Tiger Woods. Ironically enough, I used to travel on many business trips with Ian, and Dubai was a regular for us, the reason of the trips there were his negotiations for the set up of the new Tiger Woods golf course in Dubai. Oh the irony of it all now. Guess the apple never falls far from the tree. And boy, his large expense accounts from - Nike and then IMG- were well used on those trips.

Anyhow, here is Ian Todd's bio sisters, so you all know to stay well clear, or alternatively, if you do choose to get involved, at least you will know in advance the type of shallow, deceitful and heartless con-man you'll be dealing with. I just wish I had had that luxury too!
http://www.imgworld.com/about/leadership_team_bios.sps?Type=13768&iNewsid=402291&iCategoryID=12530

Upon various chitchats with his wife, I told her how Ian had told me that, "he had never loved anyone in his life like he did me, and that nobody had ever made him feel the way I did." To which she replied, "funny that, as he said the exact same thing to me too!!" Just shows, we were BOTH being lied to. Makes you wonder if men like these are such liars in their work lives too, as well as in their private lives. Lord knows that's been proved the case with some of the MP stories, and especially the (recently) ex-FA Chairman for example!

Ah well. Thankfully we have forums like this where the sister-hood can live in the truth; whether they be wives, mistresses, or just girlfriends, we all need to self-protect against some men. And for the record, every single detail in this story is true, so there is no defamation involved.

Peace, love and hugs sisters...
Sarah J x

Extortion my foot!

2010-05-05T02:14:00.001-07:00

Gotta love ole Marty Singer eh. It's ok for his clients to put their penises in women who are not their wives/partners but better watch out if the other woman wants something too LOL

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/05/exclusive-top-la-lawyer-says-extortion-stars-who-have-affairs-rise

2010-05-02T03:46:00.000-07:00

Calling all LA Mistresses

2010-04-06T14:17:00.001-07:00

Sisters
I will be holding a live Mistresses Anonymous meeting in LA, mid of next week, and would love to invite my real-life LA Sisters of the Mistress-hood to come along. Are you out there? Feeling blue and frustrated at being in love with a married man?

Email me to sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com and tell me your story, and I can send you more details about the meeting.

In the meantime, here is a link to the online Mistresses Anonymous meetings I hold every night.
http://www.livestream.com/uk2la/old

Hope to hear from you
Hugs
Sarah J. x

Tiger's balls, the gift that keeps on giving!

2010-03-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

Sisters

Just when it couldn't get any more nauseating, we read that Tiger's 'other women' count hit the grand total of 15 this week! Since he only admitted to three, it will be interesting to see him deal with all these others.

I am getting bored with the whole Tiger story now, like many of you must be too. For me, the shock and awe factor has gone, and now it's more the gross factor. Gross because of the blatantly false and deceptive life he was living. Did he REALLY think he would never be caught? I mean, come ON!!! I wonder how much more humiliation Elin can take. She must hate the sight of him right now, as do many many other people I am sure! She was literally sleeping with the enemy, as poor Sister Sandra was.

As for The Masters next month, I think they ought to rename it, "The Masturbators," to make Tiger feel at home. I mean, especially since he is not allowed to have any other women on the side right now, it must be very stressful for him. *rolls eyes*

Keep the faith you all, and hope to see many of you in MA.
Kisses
Sarah J.

This week's current affairs.

2010-03-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

Well what a week for infidelity, and, it's not over yet! First we have the Tiger Woods show! I mean, Tiger's balls are the gift that just KEEPS on giving. In fact, it is getting so hilarious that it ought to be a Broadway Musical soon. Another porn star has come out to say that she was polishing his putter, and, over the course of more than two years at that!

Expect to hear much more from her, a hottie called Devon James, as she spills the beans on what really happened, and good for her. I mean, at the end of the day, the deed is done, so why protect him? The world should know what an a$$hole and a liar Tiger really is (doesn't make him a bad person mind you, but lets at least live in the truth.) Did he think he was going to just waltz back into the game of golf like nothing had happened? Trying to 'make amends' (LOL) as well as fake, insincere, speeches along the way?!

I read in the New York Daily News that Tiger told Devon that his wife 'didn't much feel like sex.' Maybe he should have added, 'WITH him!' Perhaps she was worried she might catch something. And remember, there are always two sides to every story, and in an affair there are THREE sides.

Jesse James has been proven a prize pig, especially with the latest news that he settled a sexual harassment case, with one of his former employees 3 years ago, for $700,000!! You don't pay that kind of money if you aint guilty eh! And, Sandra Sister, what WERE you thinking when you got hitched to him? Ugh!!

Now to the best story of the week, the wife who sued the mistress for $9m. LMAO at that one. Even the husband had to concede that his marriage did not break-up because of his mistress! What it has done though, is given me the idea that mistresses should consider suing the wayward husband (and the wife, if she is guilty of pushing the husband away!) I mean, so many wonderful women get duped by married men (some who pretend they are actually single or at least separated) and then lose everything, financially, mentally and emotionally, all through being involved with these lying, cheating, egotistical con-men! Now there's a case if ever I heard one. Excuse me, I'm off to call Gloria Allred!

To be continued...
Sarah J x

Jesse, you shouldn’t dip your pen in the company ink!

2010-03-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

Was anyone really surprised to hear that the James/Bullock marriage was on the rocks, or just surprised that they actually made it to five years! Puh-lee-zee. Considering they first met on the set of the movie “Monsters Ball,” maybe it should have been a warning for Sandra Bullock. As, since becoming the “Monsters Bride,” she no doubt feels like she’s in her own horror movie, the one where she ends up married to a dopey tattooed moron who runs off with a gothic-looking woman heavily tattooed from head to foot, including forehead and nipples.

As the world’s only Infidelity Analyst, I wasn’t shocked at all - surprised for a New York minute maybe - but not shocked. Never shocked. Lets look at the facts here. When Sandra and Jesse met it would have been a novelty for both of them. Cutesy girl-next –door-type falls for bad-boy tattooed biker, one albeit with a seemingly gentle side (either that, or he’s just a little retarded) and in turn, said bad-boy feels validated by winning the affections of a wealthy, independent, attractive and ‘together’ actress. She represented the complete opposite of the life and the wife he had previously known. In short, he traded up to ‘normal’ and sadly she traded down. (Although, he’s been dubbed the “Vanilla Gorilla” by his mistress, for his prowess in the bedroom department, so, he must be doing something right to make up for any short-comings so to speak!)

Sandra was the big four-o at the time of meeting Jesse, five years older than his thirty-five years. She was unmarried, single and childless. Jesse was in the midst of dealing with the trauma of having an out of control, heavily tattooed, ex-porn star ex-wife – Janine Lindemulder - who was incarcerated for drug abuse, leaving him as a single parent. No doubt he was at a low-ebb at the time, his self-esteem taking a battering when being left to juggle child duties and court cases on his own. (Note to readers, nobody FORCED him to marry her, nor have a child with her.)

So in the beginning we had a new movie plot in the making: This time one of romance and redemption. Enter the protagonist, the Nation’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock, who, does certainly seem to have a way with her, always playing the role of a strong willed woman who ‘gets the job done’ in movies such as, “The Proposal”, “2 weeks notice” and of course, her latest blockbuster “Blind Side.” (I’m leaving out the whole “Miss Congeniality” debacle for the sake of her and this article). Our Sandra probably took pity on Jesse and offered up her toned shoulders for him to cry on, while selflessly offering to help him with his daughter too. What single father wouldn’t want that support! (Plus, didn’t he get a reality show out of it all? *rolls eyes*)

They were both needy for love and affection, and while she saw him as her ticket out of single-dom, he saw her as his life-raft to winning his child custody battle. I mean, how would the women who look like his ex, and his alleged mistress, have shaped up in the court hearings while he was trying to curry flavor with the child authorities. Should he have rolled up with a busty ‘inked woman’ on his arm, or the well-dressed and articulate Sandra Bullock? Tough one that, but we all know which one the judge would have favored, and so did cunning Papa Jesse. If Sandra showed up and believed in Jesse and his fatherly skills, I’m sure that had a bearing on the judge too. Hell, she even wrote a letter to the courts to vouch for Jesse (we have to assume that writing is not high on Jesse’s list.) Thus, with Sandra’s help Jesse did win custody of his daughter. But Jesse being a typical man, used her kindness to his advantage when it suited him – then did the dirty on her when he got bored.

Opposites do attract, but as with most novelties, they tend to wear off. There was a reason Jesse James’ ex-wife looks how she does... he married her because that’s how he likes them, and, if the latest stories are to be believed, then that’s how he still likes them. He has a thing for extreme women with tattoos; from his first wife to his alleged mistress. Him marrying Sandra was like “Pink” marrying Harry Potter, or “Travis” settling down with Reese Witherspoon. It’s just plain wrong.

Sandra and Jesse were a very odd match from the start, but, we all quietly wished her well, as you could see she was gushing at actually finding herself a man, as if she’d won some big prize, baggage and all, but, since he’d always seemed the ‘docile type of bad-boy’ (either that, or again, he’s simply a little retarded or partial to the odd drug or two) we gave her a pass.

Any woman will tell you that it’s hard to compete with an ex-wife or girlfriend/partner, especially if they have a child together, but here was poor Sandra competing with a wild ex-porn star, who was so wild she had it stamped all over her body. I felt pity for Sandra from the beginning, as come on, any new wife with a pulse couldn’t help but think about how hot and wild the sex must have been between these two, and then to be bringing up this woman’s kid too? Surely Sandra must have felt a little, well, errr, plain at times? I was always expecting ‘Sandy’ to break out and shock us all one day. For us to see a new Sandy with edgy hair, a few sharp tattoos and some skin-tight leathers. Alas, it never happened. She stayed the girl next door. Sadly that gets a little old when you are in your mid-forties!

The world of tattoos is pretty much alien to most of us, especially this extreme world where they wear them like a second skin. It seems like an underworld, a dark and intriguing sexually fascinating place that only members are allowed into. It almost holds a morbid fascination to a deviant unknown society. I myself am partial to the odd tattoo (on a man) and was recently with a guy who, when he took his shirt off, had a large tattoo on his chest (don’t ask me why he was taking his shirt off) and I have to say, it was a wonderful surprise!!!

It’s a well-known fact that most people who choose to maim their bodies with ink are usually angry at the world in some way. Thus, they naturally gravitate toward others of the same mind-set. They want someone who can ‘appreciate their art.’ Sandra was hardly in that league, and, since the apple never falls far from the tree, it looks like Jesse never gave up craving ‘his type.’ So, what started out as a novelty relationship with a conservative woman (and an instant mother-figure for his child) has now run its course for Jesse! Exit Sandra.

Women really need to learn a lesson from this, because our ‘Sister Sandra’ epitomizes women who marry men and hope to change them or fix them. She is the poster-wife for women who marry bad-boys thinking they can tame him. Well, breaking news ladies, generally bad boys stay bad. When you marry a bad-boy he comes with all the trappings of a bad boy. He may toe the line for a while, but simmering under the tattooed surface is his desire to be bad again, and, it always rears its ugly head in the end, trust me. And, as she was busy trying to change him, he would have been feeling suffocated and trapped. Men hate THAT. Women, wake up to that fact, please!

On top of the obvious physical differences between them, lets look at their lifestyles. Sandra Bullock is on the road a lot. Sandra is busy being Sandra, especially this year working very hard on the brilliant true story Blind Side. But, while that was her passion and her ‘baby’ it would have left poor needy Jesse James out in the cold. Maybe he was tired of the world having a piece of his wife, but not him. Maybe even jealous of all the attention she was getting too. I mean, who was satisfying his emotional needs and stroking his ego? He’s only human after all. The same thing happened with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. While she was busy investing her emotions into shooting the “Sex and the City” movie, making it the biggest thing in her life, her husband was undoubtedly starving for attention and affection and found both with a younger woman (allegedly), investing his emotions (amongst other things) into her! Men are always going to cheat if the opportunity arises, especially those who feel they are in competition with their wives, and especially those who feel they are in competition with the world for their wife’s affections.

When men get married they do so because they want to come home to someone. They simply want to eat, sleep and fornicate. When their other half is not there, but the affections of one of your inked tribe are at hand, I can see how Jesse could have been swayed. Men want their wives around, and women need to be around to quell their husband’s roving eye!!

I don’t doubt that Jesse loves and cares for Sandra, however, he was trying to be something he is not. Conservative! It seems that he has changed but she has stayed the same. Men need variety. That does not make it right when they cheat, nor do they all actually act on their impulses and desires, but often when they do it is because they need something new, or in Jesse’s case, something old, something attached to his old life.

I KNEW there was something a little off when watching Jesse at the Oscars. He not only seemed sheepish, as he gushed about his love for his wife and her achievements, but he also seemed emasculated. I mean here was Jesse James stuffed into a black dinner suit quietly watching his wife get all the glory. You could feel his pain of wanting to escape. Wanting to burst out of that suit like the hulk and jump into his leather pants and cropped t-shirt, blasting us his tattoos as he sped off on his Harley while giving us the finger. But no, he had become “Mrs. Sandra Bullock,” (yep, she couldn’t even take his surname. Why? – did she know it was a temporary thing I wonder).

Now to Sandra, and come on, I have to say, I’m sorry, but she looked so ‘homely’ at the Oscars; So very prim and proper with that perfectly sleeked down boring hair. That very forgettable pale lacy dress, and that acutely ageing blood-red lipstick! She looked 55 not 45!!! Women get real. If and when you decide to take on a bad-boy, God forbid marry him, you have to up your game. You have to live on the wild side a little. Yes, go get that tattoo. Go do something funky with your hair. Invest in some ripped clothes. Do something, otherwise it’s gonna get real old, real soon. Prevention is better than cure you know!

So lets not start going around saying, “How could he?” And, wow, “Who would cheat on Sandra, she has it all” – that’s rubbish. Nobody has it all, and, lust and love are simply in the eye of the beholder. Men are dogs, that’s a given, but she has to take some responsibility as she married a bad boy, she takes the consequences.

The irony of this whole story is that less than two weeks ago, Sandra Bullock had the world at her feet. She had finally won the biggest award in the movie world. Her stock worth had gone through the roof. But, and I hate to knock her when she’s down, while I do think she was great in Blind Side, I have to wonder if the Oscar was awarded her purely on her acting merit, or because it was such an inspiring feel-good movie, full of stero-typical American racial guilt, assuring it got the politically correct academy vote.

Either way, the ending of her own story is sad, because although Sandy won an Oscar, that has now been overshadowed by how and why her husband cheated on her. Oh and boy how he did. Reports are that he wooed the tattooed she-devil at his bike shop, aptly called “West Coast Choppers.” My advice to Jesse would be to keep his (by all accounts rather large) chopper in his pants from now on, as what happens in the bike shop obviously doesn’t seem to stay in the bike shop!

Throughout award season we had watched her drone on relentlessly about how wonderful her husband was, and he in turn singing her praises with mutual adorations. No wonder he looked like a deer in the Harley headlights at times. He knew the guilty pleasures he was hiding, and no doubt suspected them to be exposed soon after. They always are!

While the Oscar probably meant the world to Sandra at the time, it will have now paled into insignificance, with extra salt being administered into the gaping tinseltown wound by the fact that the most coveted movie award in the world is named after a man!!

As for Jesse James, after the hurt and humiliation he has caused America’s favorite girl- next-door, he probably really IS an outlaw and a WANTED MAN right now! He would do well to follow in the footsteps of his distant relative of same name, and, get the hell out of town!!

More Current Affairs....

2010-03-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

So, Tiger is going back to golf, *yawn*. Charlie Sheen pleads "Not Guilty" (LOL). Kate Winslett and Sam Mendes break up amicably (translation: there are others involved) and now the lovely Reille Hunter is getting her kit off for GQ magazine....

Watch this space to see how the week develops at Pillow Talk the Headquarters of Infidelity...

Peace
Sarah J.

Tana Ramsay is crowned "Mum of the Year"

2010-03-01T05:49:00.000-08:00

I wanted to be one of the first to congratulate Mrs. Ramsay on becoming 'Mum of the Year' for Tesco. I guess thats her grocery bill taken care of for a while. Hopefully Tesco is her preferred range, as it will be a little off-centre if she is a Sainsburys or Asda shopper.

Truly though, I think it is utterly commendable to be able to achieve such a lofty status while battling the story of my affair with her husband, as well as the others who have come out since. All this while famously following him around the world, sticking faithfully by his side *translation: glued to his side to make sure he doesn't cheat, again.*

Not only spending so much time away from the kids while traveling with him, she also managed to fit in a grueling training schedule of learning to skate for the show, "Dancing on Ice," (as well as fitting into those grueling outfits too) all of which must have taken her away from home for long periods of time I am sure.

This just goes to show that today's modern mother does not have to be chained to the kitchen sink, nor always be present on the constant school run, as I guess when you are married to a philandering wealthy husband you have people to do that for you. So again congratulations to Mrs. Ramsay, as you sure don't get much help from that husband of yours, and, you have just made many mothers out there feel less inadequate when they don't get to spend as much time with their children as they would like, many times being due to juggling more than one job just to survive and pay the bills.

Will there ever be a crowning of 'Mistress of the Year,' I wonder? Thankfully I would now be out of the running for that title if there was, but I know a few women who would like to be considered, although I'm sure they'd like a little sexier brand than Tesco to be honest! Watch this space....

Sarah J. x

Come clean Mr. Sheen....

2010-02-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

Watch this space, something very sleazy is about to break about ole Charlie Sheen. It's to do with a 'substance' and....something else!

Ramsay's Roasted!

2010-02-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23804645-youd-be-mad-to-think-gordon-ramsays-a-great-chef-says-his-mentor-michel-roux-snr.do

Interesting article, from Gordon Ramsay's mentor, but I could have told you this years ago. Here is a little story, which I was actually saving for my tell-all book I'm writing, but this is too good an opportunity to pass up.

I could have told you years ago that the Ramsay food brand was going downhill, especially after I had the misfortune to dine at his then restaurant, at the "London Hotel" on Sunset Boulevard in LA. I was dining with a friend at the time, and thank goodness they picked up the bill not me, as it was basically around $280 for what looked and tasted like cat food. Actually - that is NOT fair to cat food, as I know there are some very very tasty meals out there for cats, to which, much thought and effort is placed into the recipes, but still, I think you will get my point. I was rather embarrassed for Gordy at the time, as the friend was as appalled by the food, the price, the miniscule portions (for the prices being charged) and the VERY slow service, as I was.

Being close to Gordy, I was in a bit of a dilemma about what to do. I had told him I was going there, so hence, when he asked me what I'd thought about the experience, I tried to gently tell him that I thought he should make a flying visit to LA pronto, in order to check on the standard of his food, as it was so NOT up to scratch (another feline reference?). I really tried to do this as any concerned friend (who happened to be sleeping with him) would, as obviously nobody can be EVERYWHERE all of the time (he was busy jetting off to Paris and New York to open other new restaurants: both have now been taken over too actually. Pass the cream?) and I thought his staff at his new LA restaurant were taking the p*** and, he wasn't there to see it happening. Having spent a career in hotel sales, marketing and PR, I tend to know what's what!

Well if I did. What did I get in return?? A F******ing tirade that's what. Wow, does that man ever not like to be criticized. He was blue with anger down the phone to me from London, and I was so glad it was purely phone rage and that I hadn't dared to utter concerns and criticism in person I can tell you! I'd have never heard the end of it! He told me I was being ridiculous, and how he was getting rave reviews, and how it was packed every night. LOL dear, since it has now been bought back after such poor trading, I think it was you being ridiculous, not me! :-)

What was the result? He insisted on sending me back there a couple of months later, with friends and family, for a complimentary meal "on him." So I set out with my mum and my best friend to try it all over again. I'm not just saying this to be churlish, but it really was as bad as the first time, if not moreso. The food was tasteless and came in the tiniest portions you have ever seen. I know we were in LA and all that, but I have seen more food in a tin of Whiskas than on any of the plates that graced our table. Not only that, we were there HOURS. Waiting while the cat food was being prepared and delivered in a performance worthy of a broadway musical. There were definitely more staff than customers in his restaurant that night. And most of them were just standing around lazily, and probably the reason why our food took soooo long. To be honest, we couldn't wait to get home and make ourselves something to eat. We were all famished.

His restaurant at The London Hotel has since been bought back by the hotel - in both LA and New York - so, maybe Gordon should have taken heed of a concerned friend's critique early on, back in the day. Oh well. The ONLY good thing about my second trip to his restaurant in LA was that it was, "on him," and so we didn't have to pay good money for bad food!

The next day when he called me (he was by then in LA with the family, as it was their family summer holiday time) to anxiously and breathlessly find out how our visit to his restaurant went, I did something I don't do very often. I decided to be economical with the truth. It was easier for me to tell him what he wanted to hear, i.e. - that we had a great experience, and to praise him and stroke his ego, rather then tell him the truth and risk getting a right lambasting in return! To be honest I was too scared to tell him the truth. Even when he spoke to my mum on the phone, she too abstained from the true picture after the treatment I'd told her I'd had last time, choosing to simply "thank him for the gesture." *SORRY Mum that you had to go through that!!

There you go though, the truth is out now, and they do say that revenge is a dish best served cold, but, come to think of it, I don't think I've ever had a hot one at his restaurant!

Sarah J. x

Current Affairs...

2010-02-07T16:11:00.000-08:00

Sisters

Well, what a week it has been in infidelity land. Rumors abound that Brad has finally left Angelina (oh, tell me it isn't so!! *rolls eyes*), John Terry - Captain of the English Football squad - is sacked for playing away with a friends ex, as well as up to five others coming out of the woodwork who he has 'paid off' to keep their silence. Then, there is poor ole Tiger quitting sex rehab early - maybe he wasn't making any progress? Or, fell off the wagon with one of the nurses? Who knows. On top of that, shamed Governor Sanford's ex-wife, Jenny, has written a tell all book about him (quite a read from the extracts I have seen) and what a piece of work he was. It went on sale this weekend. Oh, and then there is the John Edwards and Reille Hunter sex tape up for grabs (ugh, imagine having to watch THAT!)

Respect though to Jenny Sanford and Elizabeth Edwards, as, unusually for a wife, they actually DID leave their cheating husbands, even after 30 plus years of marriage together. At least they made a stand and refused to be humiliated any longer. Bravo and kudos to them both!

John Terry's wife left him, but, only to fly to sun-drenched Dubai to 'recover' in a five star hotel before announcing she'd be taking him back. Tiger's wife seems to be 'sticking by him' (and Nike!). Do I hear 'ker-ching' anyone! *Insert yawn here sisters.*

Lets see what this week brings in the world of current affairs. As the world's first, and only, Infidelity Analyst, I will be sure to keep you posted.

Peace

Sarah J. x

2010-02-04T16:51:00.000-08:00

Revenge

2010-01-28T07:01:00.000-08:00

Dear all,

It increasingly seems that these days, "revenge" is becoming the "new nice!" Maybe Hallmark should even think about printing a line in revenge cards? I'm sure they'd fly off the shelves - especially at Valentines Day. (Why am I thinking this would make a good episode of Sex and the City BTW?).

From Bernie Madoff's (alleged) mistress writing a book to tell us how small his trouser assets were, ewww...and eeeek.....(but is anyone shocked to hear that? Big ego small parts etc) to John Edward's ex-aide -Andrew Young - releasing a book on what really happened, to YaVaughnie Wilkins, the Mistress of Time Square. We have to wonder what the next revenge story will be.

I'm always surprised that people get so shocked when a woman wants to exact revenge on an ex-lover who used to have all the control in their relationship. Especially if they consider themselves to have been nice, patient women throughout. They naturally feel vengeful. If you love deeply it's just common sense that you grieve deeply too, especially if you have been duped or dumped (God forbid BOTH!!!) and the love you thought you had was proven to mean nothing at all to the other person.

Sometimes the best form of revenge is just simply to make the truth known. As Mistress Wilkins did last week. You want to try and get even with the person who has hurt you and humiliated you so much! When women write to me to ask me if I think they ought to take revenge on a married man, the most typical remedy they want me to endorse being 'should they call the wife,' I never advise them what to do for obvious reasons. What I do say though, is that only you know what you need to do in order to deal with the intense pain you are feeling, to have closure and to move on, but I always remind them to think about their tomorrows too. I personally think it best to somehow get even, get over it, and get on with your life! And on that note, check out this piece on just that in today's Sydney Morning Herald. Bet there will be some splutters over tea and toast in some households down under this morning :-)

http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/asksam/archives/2010/01/the_angry_ex_gordon_ramsays

mi.html

The Mistress of Times Square!

2010-01-25T09:56:00.000-08:00

Well well well. Revenge definitely is a dish best served cold, or, in this case, a billboard 'erected' in chilly Times Square, New York. I personally have just one word for it. Genius!!

Any and all of my sisters of the mistress-hood will know exactly what drove our "Sister YaVaughnie" to do this, and most of us are applauding her for it in droves. If we'd had the resources we may also have resorted to similar action. Man, I would have been all over Manhatten!!!! In fact, this has got my juices going, and I'm currently looking for a sponsor to help me put up a billboard in Times Square too; it would say, "Come on Gordon, be a man and own up to your shortcomings. Admit to our affair of 7 years!!"

(For the record, he too referred to me as his soul mate. Oh the irony. *rolls eyes*).

This incident should warn all MMs out there that unless they keep their mistress happy, things like this will be all too common, as hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and, you can triple that if it's a mistress scorned!

Sister YaVaughnie, if you are reading this, please come join us at an MA meeting soon. You are our hero right now and have been the talk of my Mistresses Anonymous meetings all weekend. Your story just highlights the level of hurt many women suffer at the hands of a deceitful married man, and the level of revenge it can lead them to ultimately wanting to exact.

Unless one has ever been in the husband-mistress-wife triangle they can never ever know how toxic it really is, and therefore should not be so quick to judge. For those ignorant enough to want to, we know you will anyway. My last thought on this topic is, I'll bet these ads were sponsored by a Republican :-)

Peace

Sarah J. x

Relationships are as good as YOU make them!

2010-01-19T04:27:00.000-08:00

Hi ALL......

With so many of you writing to ask me dating advice and relationship questions these days, I've decided to step-up the "Pillow Talk" blog a notch, so as to include EVERYONE, not just those suffering the effects of infidelity/those who want to know how to spot if their partners are cheating on them.

Being a reformed hell-raiser myself, I'm working hard on my own relationships, and I certainly know what NOT to do anymore, that's for sure! It seems these days though, we are all so busy trying to be "equal" with our partners, that many of us have lost the feminine qualities men look for. You only need to watch an episode of "Mad Men" to see what I mean. Men want to meet the woman of their dreams, not the bitch of their nightmares. Be that woman of his dreams.

Ladies, write to me if you want to know how to keep your boyfriend/husband/partner happy. It really is quite simple you know, I call it the "ESF Rule." More on that later, as well as tips on how to be the best woman you can - from the inside out, as that really IS what will eliminate the need for your other half to stray, you know. (That, as well as not nagging him so much of course :-).

Having had the privilege of working with so many of you, helping you get out of your dysfunctional relationships, and into healthy ones, I've had a lot of experience with it all, especially over the past year. Who knows, maybe I'll even start the "Pillow Talk Dating Agency" soon, the way it's going, as SO many of you tell me it's hard to meet decent single men and women these days! (Could I join my own agency? LOL)

Send me your relationship questions by leaving a comment on this blog. No problem too big or too small here at Pillow Talk. I'm here to inspire you all to live your best lives.

Come on, what are you waiting for? It's a new year. Make it the best one of your life!! Out with the old ways of behavior - if they are not working - and in with the new. Stop "settling" for your lot. Relationships should be a joy, not a burden remember!!

Peace

Sarah J. x

"Oh Come All Ye Unfaithful!"

2010-01-11T07:23:00.000-08:00

Dear all,

I would normally just say "Dear Sisters" as you know, but, it has come to my attention that many men read my blog these days too. Men who are either of the "cheating married man variety," or the "Other Man" having an affair with a married woman, or just guys who seek my relationship advice on issues in their relationships with their girlfriends (and sometimes even their boyfriends!!)

So, things are getting busy here at Infidelity HQ. Especially with the latest affair scandal to rock the political world in the UK; that of the Ireland's First Minister's wife - Mrs. Iris Robinson - who was having an affair with a boy of nineteen years old, while she was nearly sixty!! (yes you did read that right!!). To add to the ick factor, it is alleged she had up to three more affairs (well there is never just one is there) one of them being with the 19 year old's late father........Ugh!! With both Mr and Mrs Robinson having 'stepped down' now, things are pretty stormy over at Stormont to say the least!

As the world's only Infidelity Analyst, I'm being asked to comment on that story daily, but I will always have time for my sisters and our daily Mistresses Anonymous chapter group meetings...

As usual, they start daily at 5.30pm EST and here is the link to attend.

http://livestream.com/uk2la/old

MA is like AA, it will help you end your addiction to a toxic part of your life (i.e. a relationship with a married/unavailable person). It is complimentary to attend, and liberating to be with others in your situation. All this from the comfort of your own home. Oh, and if you are going through a bad time, at least at "MA" you can have a drink :-)

See you later

Sarah J. x

Happy New Year, Happy New You!

2010-01-02T09:13:00.001-08:00

Dear sisters

A very happy new year to you all. I have heard from so so many of you during the holidays, and have helped a good few of you get out of your affairs. Isn't it wonderful to feel free of a married man, and the counterfeit happiness we once thought was real? I am so happy to have helped so many of you.

I do hope that for any current mistresses who were sad and lonely over the holidays (while your MM was quite the opposite, no doubt) that you will remember those feelings and use them as the catalyst to get out of this dead-end situation you are in, and realize that you deserve so much more!

Lastly, a note for the couple of ignorant men who left comments on my blog, after hearing me on a radio show; you are right, I shan't post them, as you are both too ignorant to have listened properly. If you had, you would have realized I am not being hypocritical at all, as I am no longer with a married man, nor do I ever plan to be again. So yes, when I put them down, I really do mean it, as being with a married man was the biggest waste of time I ever spent. Reading your comments to me came a very close second!

Peace sisters and see you at MA very soon!

http://livestream.com/uk2la/old

Sarah J. x

It's over!!!

2009-12-26T05:17:00.000-08:00

Sisters,

For all you practicing mistresses, the day you dreaded (i.e. Christmas Day) is finally over! I do hope that for many of you, this will be the LAST Christmas you spend with a man who is having a happy family Christmas somewhere without you.

I heard from so so many of you this past week, and especially yesterday, all saying the same thing. All 'trying not to think about the kind of day your MM was having with his family:' 'Trying not to think about him having xmas sex with his wife:' 'Waiting for HIM to call YOU' and reporting to me that many of your MMs were 'calling you to remind you of just 'what an awful xmas he was (NOT) having!' (Yawn and LOL if you fell for that old chestnut!!)

These are all manipulation and control tactics on the MM's part. I do hope you can see this!! Sadly, most of you told me you couldn't wait for the day to be over, and were crying and 'in pieces.' Nice! Some 'happiest day of the year' that was for you then eh? MM hijacked that for you and YOU LET HIM.

I do hope that you will all begin to wake up now. Realize that all you are doing as a mistress is keeping someone else's marriage going, just like putting top grade oil in car to keep it running!

Will you be also dreading New Year's Eve for the same reasons? Or will you finally begin to unleash the power of YOU? You all have the power within you to change anything about your life, so, stop making excuses for someone else and start doing something for yourself.

Here is a link to the Mistresses Anonymous (on-line) support and recovery group - meetings are usually held daily at around 5.30pm EST http://livestream.com/uk2la/old

Stay strong

Sarah J. x

Surviving Christmas as a Mistress!

2009-12-18T05:13:00.000-08:00

Well Sisters,

The most unhappy time of the year for some of you is soon to be here. Christmas. That time when those in love with an MM will feel a number of emotions, especially on Christmas Day. These will range from bitterness, resentment and jealousy, but - most of all - a complete sense of emptiness, lonliness, and sadness. Am I right?

Only you will know if you want to live like this for another year. I do hope you won't. I so do NOT miss that feeling sisters I can tell you, and I would sure rather be alone and lonely, than lonely and waiting for the phone to ring while obsessing about what MM is doing at the happy family home. Ugh, I feel an acute attack of nausea just remembering that feeling!

I hope that you will use this time of year as a benchmark and make a note of all the things your MM hasn't done (that he promised you he would). The list will be pretty long I'm sure, and I hope you'll be checking it twice!

I'd love to hear your comments ladies. And would also love to hear from any mistresses who are happy in their affair and therefore won't be at a loss on Christmas Day, I doubt there are many as I never hear from a 'happy mistress!' My ears are open though. Also, if you are the 'other man' (aka a 'misteress') having an affair with a married woman, feel free to leave your comments here on my blog too.....

Lastly, I will be holding a special Christmas Day Mistresses Anonymous Group meeting, time to be advised next week.

Below is the latest link to the Mistresses Anonymous online support group. See you there!

http://livestream.com/uk2la/old.

Peace to all mistresses, and stay strong (And, get out there and bag yourself a hot SINGLE man, even if he is just for Christmas!)

Sarah J.x

Letter from a TYPICALLY selfish MM!

2009-12-11T02:37:00.000-08:00

Sisters,
I wanted to post this letter from an MM so you could hear his views, hear it from the horses mouth. He is -and will remain - anonymous!

My question to you MM, is, based on all you have said, when are YOU leaving to be with your mistress of TWO years then eh? As for throwing the kids under the bus that is never what I/we say or want. Trust a man to put it that way. But my dear, you are already throwing them under the bus (to use your words not mine) by having a relationship with a woman who is not their mother. If you had any balls you would put your house in order first and do the right thing. Many second marriages and extended families are very very successful. But no, you want it all. You want your family existence and to keep your poor wife in the dark while running a home and bringing up your kids, and to survive you want 'your bit on the side' too. I bet your 'troubled mistress' is really looking forward to Christmas eh? NOT. I hope she will come to my MA group. I'd love to chat to her!! I hope you wife follows your lead and gets a nice single man on the side too!

"I'm the MM and in a relationship for 2 years with a now single woman. WHen I met her, she was also married, but wasn't happy and subsequently got divorced about a year into our relationship. I was always clear with her before her divorce that I couldn't leave my kids and get divorced, but she got divorced anyway, stating it had nothing to do with me. Now, 2 years later, she is troubled because I am still living with the wife and kids and she is divorced and not living with me. We both are very much in love, and at this point, I want to leave my situation for her, however, a divorce is not in the cards financially at this time. Its a very difficult situation for both of us I think. I am sure other MM struggle with this issue because they don't want to screw up their kids lives also. The women in this blog seem to find blame with the MM for not throwing his kids under the bus and moving in with the mistress. But what kind of man can just forget about his kids and do that without a thought???? Would the mistress really want a guy that could easily dump his family for his mistress? I think not.

I have read in this blog that the stats for the MM and the mistress ending up together is extremely low. I don't think that is true. 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway. I can see being very happy with the woman i am involved in, as soon as I can figure out a divorce settlement. Afterall, the MM is with the mistress for a reason!

Some people in this blog have pointed out the MM will not marry the mistress because of the 80/20 rule. I think that is silly. From my perspective, a MM is looking outside his marriage for a companion that actually gives a damn and doesn't take him for granted. That goes for in the bed and out! If the MM finds good companionship in and out of the bedroom, the wife is done! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but within the near future.

So for all those thinking the mistress has no chance, I dare say, they are dead wrong. The mistress plays the most important part in the MM life, and the MM will do everything in his power to eventually end up with the mistress. THis may not be true for all men, but it makes sense for most normal, intelligent men."

**Final note to MM from me - How dare you be so patronizing to us, and to your current mistress!!

Urgent not to Mistress X in distress!

2009-12-10T03:23:00.000-08:00

To the mistress who left me this blog comment earlier, yes, I will help you. You can talk with me and other mistresses daily at one of my Mistresses Anonymous support group sessions. Here is the link. We will start at about 5pm EST tonight, although you may find other women in there throughout the day, as we tend to all be on different time zones. Stay strong sister - I can help you.

"It's great to know I can vent thru this blog. I need someone I can email on a daily basis who would be willing to help me and guide me through this difficult journey. I'm trying to break away from my MM. We've been together for 10 years.I struggle everyday. I'm on my 11th day of no communication and starting to lose the strength to carry on. I have tried this many times before and failed.

Please will someone with a similar experience talk to me on a regular basis? I'm losing my mind but would like to do the right thing. I've been hurt so many times and want out!"

See you at MA later! Sarah J.

Mistresses Anonymous Meeting tonight!!

2009-12-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood,

First of all, I will be holding an emergency MA support group session tonight at 5.30pm EST for any of you who can get in there. After hearing so many sad stories from so many of you at this time of year, I can see it is necessary.

Secondly, many of you have complained to me about the new look MA chat room layout, and with good reason. I totally agree with you. The chat room screen is now too small and, also, we can't see the list of who is in the room at any given time - which is not cool at all. So, for now, until I refine things even more, please use this link which will take you back to how things used to be in there. http://livestream.com/uk2la/old Oh how we like familiarity eh :-)

Also, I must apologize for my absence at MA for a while, but I have been crazy busy and now literally just got back from Dublin where I was filming a talk show. I plan to be there for you all as much as I can now, as this is the worst time of year for 'practicing Mistresses' and complacent ex-Mistresses - i.e. Christmas!

There is a chapter in my book, "Surviving Christmas as a Mistress, and other holidays," but it is hard none the less, so I will be here for you, with an emphasis starting from now and - up to and including - Christmas day :-)

I also want to welcome all the new Sisters of the Mistress hood that have written to me since seeing me on the Dr. Phil show on Monday. I hope you will join us too.

Hope to see you later

Peace

Sarah J x

Tiger Woods.....

2009-11-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Check this out! As soon as I heard this story I just knew!! Ironically, I have said in many interviews, that "I know adultery like Tiger Woods knows golf!" Damn, he must have heard me and stepped up his game LOL.

Police to question Tiger Woods over car crash 'following 2am row with wife over affair claims'

Peace

Sarah J x

Dr Phil Show Today!

2009-11-18T00:57:00.000-08:00

Try to catch me on the Dr Phil Show today, 4pm PST, CBS. The topic is, "Inside Infidelity."

For any of you who would like to buy my book just go to my website and you can download it instantly as an e-book, privately and on demand, so you don't have to wait when you need help instantly!!

Also, come to my Mistresses Anonymous chatroom too. The link is on my home page at www.havinganaffairthebook.com

Peace

Sarah J. x

Calling ALL mistresses

2009-11-03T22:28:00.000-08:00

Sisters. Again I reach out to all of you who wrote/write to me - especially those who wrote after seeing me on The Dr Phil show. There is another prime time TV Talk show that needs us. Anyone who would be interested in telling their story please contact me. I can tell you more then. Your chance to have your say. Email me at sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com. I am especially interested in those who live in LA, as it makes logistics easier, but still write and if you are willing to go on - and you have the typically sad toxic story we all do/did - I am sure we can make it work. Also, maybe you are a 'happy mistress' or even one of the many desperate wives who write to me that are having affairs. Can't wait to hear from you...

Sarah J x

Mistresses Anonymous recovery sessions

2009-10-23T01:02:00.000-07:00

Sisters,

For all of you who have written to me since seeing me on the Dr Phil show last week, especially after learning of my Mistresses Anonymous support/recovery group online chat room, please know that I do try to get back to you all personally but it is nearly impossible at times as I am being deluged with letters, emails, blog comments and Face Book messages from so so many of you who are all living life as the Other Woman!

What the Dr Phil show did was, rather than suppressing this topic, and making us out to look like the culprits, it just opened a pandora's box to highlight the fact that so many of the American female population (and Dr Phil's viewers) ARE in fact the Other Woman (or have been, or even, would like to be!) I am blown away by it all. Especially when I learn that so many of you are married women - i.e wives having affairs with other married men. Phew....this is a never ending topic.

One woman wrote to me from Michigan this week to say that she felt that "if only she could have a one-to-one, half an hour session with me, she felt I would be able to cure her of her addiction to her unhealthy affair, and that I could change her life!" Big stuff!

To give you all the help and support you need to get OUT OF THESE toxic relationships I am going to have to start one-to-one renewal coaching sessions. I will try to work with you all on your budgets and will be able to help you more than any therapist can, as I have been there. I have been where you are!! You all write to me in the same states of turmoil. I know how you feel, and some of the best teachers are those in recovery themselves!!!

Contact me personally for more information. I need to be able to dedicate the time to each of you that you so desperately need in order to heal and get out of these dead end relationships with married men who are just using you! Wake up. Get OUT. I can help you.

Keep the faith

Sarah J x

Thank you sisters...

2009-10-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

......for having the honesty and trust in me to share your heartfelt stories with me. I read them all!

Stay strong.

Peace

Sarah J. x

Wow! Straight from the horses mouth!!!

2009-10-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

Ladies, this comment was left for me yesterday, after the Dr. Phil show aired, from a very honest cheating married man. It was left anonymously but I had to post it to show you that what I tell youis true! You ARE just being used.

I just HAD to post it! Await your comments to it ladies.....wives and mistresses welcome :-)

I'm that guy....the married one. I'm the one who is in the affair with a beautiful woman who has been trying to get out of this relationship. She's in love and we have been seeing each other for four years. I have done this several times with other women and have no intention of leaving my wife.

My wife knows of two affairs that I have admitted to. I can tell 'the other woman' that you are being used for everything I am not getting at home. You are my fantasy, my sexual fantasy, my ego booster when we go out. Name ten things we have in common besides great sex. Yes, you may be smart, have a great job, but there's something about you that just doesn't meet up to the standards of being my wife. You will find, most men do not upgrade 'great sex' to 'wife'.

How long can two dishonest people maintain a healthy relationship. You both bring no morals to the table from the start. 'The other woman' wants more time and we give you just enough to keep you there. We say the things you want to hear and do what we can to keep you close. You get to needy and we stop calling for a while. Then you miss us and want to see us...we get together and have great sex....and the cycle begins all over again.

The Dr Phil Show today: And the Mistresses Anonymous Support Group

2009-10-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

To any and all women writing to me for advice, welcome. You may have seen me on the Dr. Phil show today.

Whether you be a woman in love with a married man; A woman dealing with the pain of being in a toxic relationship; A woman who is in love with an emotionally unavailable man; Or a wife/girlfriend who just wants to know the signs to look for if their partner is cheating, and how to stop it, then please either leave your comments on my blog, or come to my Mistresses Anonymous support group. The link to my group is available on the homepage of this website, or attached here.

See Sarah at her "Mistresses Anonymous" Chatoom at http://www.mogulus.com/uk2la

For any wives who want to know how to affair proof their marriages, it is very simple. And, rather than wanting to hate the other woman, learn to be the best wife you can be in order to alleviate your husband wanting to have his emotional and physical needs met elsewhere. The steps to affair-proofing your marriage are very simple. Contact me for more information.

Peace

Sarah J.

A Married Man Joke...

2009-10-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

Sent by a dear Welsh friend of mine. Guess we have all run into 'Jack' at some point in our lives, either at home, or away, LOL!

"Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT....Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time...PRICELESS!!!

Kanye West at the VMA's

2009-09-14T23:43:00.000-07:00

A misunderstood, brilliantly talented soul who is trying to deal with his own loss and his own success. And, at the end of the day, he was only telling the truth LOL. Beyonce's video WAS better than Taylor Swifts (I had never even heard of this girl before.) Anyhow, we all make mistakes. I love you Kanye. Thank you for keeping it real!

Peace

Sarah J x

Funny......

2009-08-26T08:41:00.001-07:00

This is funny. A friend in London sent it to me today. Enjoy...I'm off to make some coffee :-)

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Feckin jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!'

2009-08-21T01:55:00.000-07:00

2009-08-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

Calling all LA based Mistresses

2009-07-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

Hey all

So, it is confirmed. A national TV show with one of your favorite hosts (hint: he is a 'Doctor') is doing a show about my Mistresses Anonymous Group (MAG) and the online daily support group (www.mogulus.com/uk2la). So for any of you who have trusted me enough with your stories and sought advice from me, especially those who come to my MA group sessions, please let me know if you would be interested and willing to come on TV with me and become liberated by telling your story.

So many of you have told me that I saved your souls - some your lives - and also inspired you to end your affairs, that I hope to hear from some of you. I need YOU now.....

Anonymity can be arranged if you would like that. Time to show the prime time audience that the perception of the other woman is very wrong!

Email me to sarah@havinganaffairthebook.com if you are interested and would like to know more.

Hugs

Sarah J. x

"My Kinda Town Chicago (Sun Times) is..."

2009-07-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

This is what the lovely TV critic- Paige Wiser - wrote in her column about Hells Kitchen and yours truly today...

Another non-Gordon Ramsay fan: his mistress

Thank you Paige

Sarah J.

What a fake bake if there ever was one!!

2009-07-04T14:49:00.000-07:00

Sisters

Never underestimate the power of a (cheating) married man to lie...continually. I have just read - in today's UK Daily Mail newspaper - that Gordon Ramsay had the nerve to call me deluded about our affair! Shame he does not have those same balls to admit the truth about our affair. The truth ALWAYS comes out eventually - it just depends how long eventually actually is. If I am deluded then he is an ugly old wrinkled cook - oh, but he is, silly me!

The journalist doing the story had been told not to ask him about me, however, when his wife stepped out of the room (strike one) he ripped into me and how the story about him sleeping with me was so untrue...LOL!! Clinton comes to mind, and how stupid he looked when he had lied so much about something that was true and later proven.

It is said that "Knowingly making false statements, or at the very least making statements with disregard for the truth - either way - are defamatory."

Watch this space, as my guess is it won't be pretty.

Keep the faith and live in the truth

Sarah J x

Governor Sanford - Another scandal for the Republicans.

2009-06-27T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. One person who was probably not 'too cut up' about Michael Jackson's untimely death was the Governor of South Carolina, who, just 24 hours before the MJ tragedy, had been outed for having an affair with a woman in Argentina..... (talk about long distance eh!!).

For those of you who didn't see his live statement at the press conference, you really should. It was award winning. Oh the tears. Oh the guilt. All in all enough to make a crocodile handbag and matching shoes!!!

In this case I must commend his wife, and you will know that's rare for me. At least she had the kahunas (sp?) to get out. She had left him to his little south-American mistress a while earlier when he had told her of his extra-marital activities, and, seeing her talking to the media yesterday she seems like she is a woman who has it all put together. It will be interesting to see how the next part of this saga plays out, but, more importantly, we ALL want to get a glimpse of 'Miss Argentina now righ???!!!'

Watch this space

Peace

Sarah J. x

DYNAMITE DOWN UNDER......

2009-06-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

Well what a week. Thanks to Gordon Ramsay's foul mouthed tirade, The DYNAMITE Agency is now alive and kicking in Australia.... go to http://www.seven.com.au/ to see what I mean...

MY EXPLOSIVE NEWS!!!!

2009-06-01T10:54:00.000-07:00

http://www.myfoxla.com/dpp/news/local/Dynamite_Agency_Catching_Cheaters_20090602

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

June 1, 2009

DYNAMITE AGENCY OPENS SHOP AIMED TO BLOW COVERS OFF THE BEDS OF CHEATING MARRIED MEN OF HOLLYWOOD

LOS ANGELES --- DYNAMITE, the world’s first agency dedicated to uncovering Hollywood’s many cheating married men, has opened its doors for business. The explosive Team Dynamite, two blonde bombshells -- Sarah J. Symonds and Alexandra “Lexy” Barrett – are poised to help wives, fiancées, and girlfriends put a stop to bedroom and backdoor shenanigans.

“There’s so much infidelity in Hollywood, it’s time we come to the rescue,” said Symonds, a self-proclaimed "infidelity analyst" and well-documented ex-mistress of celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.

DYNAMITE works on a case-by-case basis taking on the role of a private investigator after consulting with their clients. Outsourcing is also done for certain aspects of an investigation.

“We’ve been bombarded with phone calls from suspicious Beverly Hills housewives who want their minds put to rest or their suspicions confirmed,” said Barrett, a former hypno-therapist to the stars, who herself was cheated on when she was married. So, this is a case of the cheater and the cheated collaborating to work together making them an ‘explosive’ duo….

Symonds has appeared as a guest on countless national and international TV talk shows and radio interviews and featured in glossy magazines. Following an overwhelming appearance in 2008 on the “Oprah Winfrey Show,” and more recently on “Dateline NBC” and “The View” in 2009, Sarah continues to stir the minds of thousands of women with questions on how to get out of a toxic relationship with a married man.

Since her “RamsayGate” affair, Symonds has decided to go straight and has set herself with a self-imposed challenge to be married by next year on her 40th birthday. She maintains a daily diary of dates and is penning a second book about her arduous journey to the altar titled “From Mistress to Mrs.”

Rates at DYNAMITE range from a modest $250 per hour up to $5,000 per week depending on individual circumstances. "As long as we have helped women solve their dilemma with their spouses, we have accomplished our goal and the cost was worth every cent," Symonds added.

To contact the DYNAMITE offices, please call Sarah J. Symonds on her dynamite cell phone 310-345-4053 or via her explosive website: www.havinganaffairthebook.com.

********

Media Contact: Bob Mazza (310) 994-4847 * mazzaefx@earthlink.net

Barbara Walters is a true Wolf in Sheep's Clothing??!! I am OUTRAGED and DISGUSTED!!!!!

2009-05-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

Right Sisters

Sorry I haven't written for a while but I have been run off my feet (although sadly not by a handsome, fit, virile, young man). I'm sure that many of my American sisters know I was on "The View" yesterday (The View is one of the top daytime talk shows here in the USA and hosted by Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters & co.) The interview went well, even though I was thrown a couple of curve balls. You can go to this link to see the interview.

http://www.theview.tv/video/hot-topics-having-affair

However, I am so so totally devastated and gutted. Anyone who knows me well knows that it has been a big lifelong dream of mine to meet - and be interviewed by - Barbara Walters. The 'Most Famous Other Women in the World' finally get to talk candidly so to speak. And - I thought - that after all she wrote in her book about her affair, that she would be the last person on earth to judge me! Sadly I was very WRONG!! Very wrong indeed....

The reality of my short meeting with 'Ms. Walters' was, and is, the biggest shocker and disappointment of my whole life to date (and hell, I've had some mega ones as many of you will know) because of what she said to me back-stage before I went on air. For any of you who saw the show, BaWa and Whoopi ripping into the brilliantly sharp commentator Glenn Beck from FOX News (the previous guest on before me) for SO long meant that my interview was actually pushed to the next segment because they ran out of time; it also meant that Barbara would apparently then not be able to be on the panel of hosts interviewing me as she had to leave. In hindsight thank GOD she had to leave, as what I am about to describe would have happened on air and I would have looked like a right clown I can tell you as I had no answer for what she said to me. To be honest, I have never heard anything quite so ignorant ever before. (*If you're reading this Glenn - thank you for being on before me - and I am here for you, whatever you need.)

So, I went up and introduced myself to Barbara behind the scenes, and told her how thrilled - even honored - I was to meet her, since she has been "where I have been" and how we hence had "a lot in common" kinda of thing, adding how "I wished she was going to be on the panel to be in my corner." Well, Bab's turned round and said to me, "Oh no my dear (without even a pause) I have never been a Mistress!!" I said, "Err hello?? What??? I saw you talking about your mistress days (with a black senator no less, and can you imagine in those days how bad a thing that was for her to do) last year on the Oprah Show, and I read about it in your book." She replied with, "Well I may have been the other woman but I was never a mistress, my bills were never paid for me. I was never financially looked after!" and she looked at me with complete disdain! With that, she slowly picked up her handbag and turned to leave. Her parting shot was the most interesting though. She turned to me and said, "but, if I ever did it again I would make sure I was."

So there we have it - MORE denial. Incredible. Everybody seems to be living in denial these days of who and what they are. But that is Barbara's belief I guess (and there were no cameras on us so this was her being her) and her way of absolving what she did perhaps. That must be the hollywood slant on being the other woman. My blog - and my anger today - is fueled by the poignant comment left by an anonymous mistress named 'Wolf Cries Alone' on my blog page yesterday. The very 'user name' she chooses as her handle is heartbreaking in itself. Wolf says that she cannot even afford to buy my book right now, not until she gets paid next Friday, yet, as you will read in her comment below, she is currently living out the pain of having an affair with a married man. I'd love to know what you think Wolf? Do you call yourself a Mistress? I can see in your comment you do. If so, don't dare let Barbara hear you, it would blow her theory - as from the nature of the comment you left me it does not sound to me like you are having any bills paid for you by your MM right now, and that you seem in a bad financial place in general (bet his wife is doing ok of course though eh Wolf???)

Actually I am going to post Wolf's comment here for all to see (*and Wolf please email me your mailing address so I can send you a complimentary copy of my book asap!!). You will not cry alone any longer my dear. I am here for you. And for the record Wolf, my mistresses at my Mistresses Anonymous chat room are livid about all this. Come to http://www,mogulus.com/uk2la

WolfCriesAlone has left a new comment on your post "A SONG for my SISTERS.......":

Wow, Sarah, you hit the nail on the head with this one (song by SJS)! As a fellow poet and currently a mistress, you have described me to the core. Can't wait to buy your "manual" next friday. (When I get paid). Can't afford your book as yet, but I will see if the public library has a copy I can read as it sounds like it's a must read for any woman not in her right mind and get's into an affair, like me.

Posted by WolfCriesAlone to "Pillow Talk" with Sarah J. Symonds at May 22, 2009 11:41 AM

Please send me your comments ladies as I am totally outraged by Barbara's words to me. I sure as hell was not having 'my bills paid' by Gordon Ramsay, even though I am constantly referred to in the media as 'his mistress!'

I am really outraged by Barbara's hypocrisy and mindset as I had AT LEAST expected support from her. I have to say that all of the other hosts on The View were wonderful to me and so gracious. I would have expected them to be the ones to make me feel cheap if anyone were to - as Sherri has been cheated on and Elizabeth is happily married, but they were lovely to me. I can't believe it was Barbara who has made me feel so cheap! I thought Barbara would at least be someone who could relate to me and to our plight! I was even going to tell her that her 'coming out' made all of us mistresses feel less stupid. I mean if Barbara Walters - the biggest female talk show host in the world - can choose to be in an affair with a married, high profile, man it made us feel better about ourselves - or it at least did me anyway. What she said to me is like us both being (ex) drug addicts but her saying to me "Oh no dear, I was never a crack-head...I just liked to shoot up my arm on the weekends - just for fun and for recreational purposes...but, I was never one of you!"

I'm off for a cold shower to try and calm down!! I truly am raging mad at this now the more I think of it. It doesn't help that the temperatures here in southern California are in the low 90's either!!!!!!!

I want an apology from Barbara and I want to do a one-on-one interview with her on national TV to dispel the myths she is self-perpetuating. For the record Barbara you have really have insulted me. How dare you look down your nose at me like that! You said you'd read my book last weekend - if so - then you will notice that the title is a "Handbook for the Other Woman" - that means YOU! Call it what you will - you were still sleeping with someone else's husband so, for the record, you are no better or worse than me or the thousands of mistresses who write to me for advice. You might want to remember that for your next book! I may be many many things Barbara but I am not a liar nor a hypocrite. If only you could say the same. Plus, I have helped hundreds and hundreds of women get out of their affairs with married men and used my wrong doings to help others. I guarantee you can't say the same.

A SONG for my SISTERS.......

2009-05-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

Greetings all

Inspired by he success of my daily on-line 'Mistresses Anonymous' Support Group (http://www.mogulus.com/uk2la) I have written this song, which I think pretty much sums it all up! This is for all the women who have been gracious enough to share their stories with me, and all the sisters of the mistress-hood who have joined the chat room to share their experiences and empower themselves to get OUT of their affairs. Everyone who stands up for their truth makes it easier for the next person. 'MA' rocks!!! So proud of you all.

Ps - If there are any music producers reading let me know LOL.

"The Secret Goodbye"

I exist by pretending to be ok all the time

The pain of loving you feels like a crime

Everyone’s noticing the strain on me

And I cant say why as discretion is key